Chapter 26

Chapter 26

J oy stared at the wall, seeing nothing and saying nothing. Energy crackled in the air.

Finally, she took a long, deep breath. The air in the room moved with it, drawing in toward her, and back out again.

"It wasn't a drug," she said, finally.

Fey nodded. She sat on Joy's bed, her arms wrapped around her knees, hugging her legs to herself. She'd come to Joy immediately upon returning to the palace. Lilith had been in the training gym and joined them, but Willow was fast asleep, spread out on her bed like a starfish. They'd agreed to let her rest.

"Then what was it?" Joy mused. "What could be so dangerous the Crown would send us to wipe it off the face of the earth?"

This was Joy's process, Fey knew. This was how she connected the dots, how she stepped back to see the bigger picture. They were looking at a puzzle with too few pieces, but if anyone could see the pattern here, it was Joy.

"A weapon," Lilith reasoned. She lounged in an armchair next to the fireplace. Her whetstone sat on her lap, but for once she wasn't sharpening her blades. She was tense and still.

Joy nodded absently. "A weapon," she repeated. "That would make sense. Something bad enough to scare the Crown. Something they didn't want in the wrong hands. Something better off destroyed."

"Why lie about it, though? Why tell us we were after some sort of drug?" Fey asked, unable to keep the resentment out of her voice.

"Did they lie?" Lilith challenged. "Where did you get the idea that it was drugs, anyway?"

You , not we , Fey noted and shot her sister an irritated look.

"Dameon," Joy answered. "When he briefed us the night before. I don't remember if he said it outright, not explicitly, but he implied it. Implied we were going after a big devil dust supplier."

"Implied," Lilith repeated. She threw her hands up. "Don't shoot the messenger, but we can't accuse our handler of lying just because he ‘implied' something. Maybe we misunderstood."

Joy pursed her lips together. "That's possible. It's also possible he misunderstood. Maybe he gave us the information he had available to him?" Joy let the words hang in the air for a moment before she added. "And it's possible he deliberately misled us."

"Why?" asked Lilith. "No, don't give me that look, Fey, I'm being fucking serious, here. Why would he lie? Why would he even need to? We are the Queen's assassins. She points us in a direction and sets us loose. We do what we're told. He doesn't even have to tell us anything . Dameon wouldn't lie to us because he has no reason to . We're not worth being lied to."

Lilith huffed. "We're attack dogs, like it or not. All of us. And you don't have to tell an attack dog why they bite—only who ."

Fey let her legs go, putting her face in her hands in frustration.

"Am I wrong?" Lilith challenged.

"You're not wrong," Joy said calmly. "It's not our job to question where the Queen sends us."

"It's treason to question it," Lilith reminded them. "We took our oath to obey the Crown, unquestioningly. And you both sure as fuck sound like you're questioning."

"I can't help but think something is going on here," Fey said. She felt exhausted. It must be past dawn by now, and she hadn't slept at all. "I feel like we're walking into danger, and we won't even realize it until the snare closes around our neck. "

"That's your problem, Fey," Lilith sneered. "Always thinking. You weren't inducted into the Blades to think ."

"That's enough, Lilith," Joy murmured. She still stared at the wall half lost in thought. "There's no need for cruelty."

"I'm not trying to be cruel," Lilith insisted. "I just?—"

"I said that's enough." Joy turned to her at that, her eyes blazing. The air in the room surged, and the photos Joy had hanging on her walls, photos of her and Alice, shook. Lilith stopped.

The air stilled, but their conversation hung heavy in the room, too many emotions floating around them. Too many questions.

"I'm sorry," Lilith said, finally. "Fey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean?—"

"It's fine," Fey insisted. "Really. You're not wrong. We're not supposed to question our orders, we're not even supposed to talk about her. But here we are. Trying to piece it all together with what little clues we have."

"I just—" Lilith huffed a breath. "I don't like this. I don't think any good will come of it, trying to unravel this. I think we should stop this, stop trying to figure any of this out. I'm scared of where it will lead us. Scared of what it will do to us."

Fey sighed.

"I'm scared too."