Chapter 21

ChapterTwenty-One

Logan was mucking out the goats’ pen when Noah pulled up the drive. He technically had farmhands to do this type of manual labor, but they were all busy pulling in the last of the apple harvest along with all the squash in the back field. That, and Logan was punishing himself for his shitty behavior with Jeanie. He’d practically shoved her down when his grandfather had knocked on the door. He’d hurt her feelings, that much was painfully clear. Of course, he did. No one wanted to be treated like you were ashamed of them.

As much as Jeanie had been cool with their little arrangement in the beginning. She wasn’t anymore. And now Logan had to decide if it was worth taking this thing public.

Was it worth failing, again, in front of everyone?

Was Jeanie worth it?

So, he was shoveling goat excrement to punish himself and to clear his mind. Who needed meditation when there was poop to clear?

Noah sauntered up to the pen and leaned against the fence, his forearms propped on the top of it while the Bobs nibbled at his shirt sleeves.

‘Hey, aren’t you the big boss man now? Your nana still making you clean out the animal pens?’

‘The animals aren’t technically part of the farm,’ Logan said with a grunt, shoveling some fresh hay into the pen.

‘Right. I forgot these are your babies.’ Noah scratched Marley between the ears and the old goat bleated happily. Or grumpily. It was pretty much the same sound either way.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Nice to see you, too, buddy,’ Noah said with an easy-going grin.

‘Hey, just because your season’s done, doesn’t mean the rest of us have all day to shoot the shit.’ Noah had inherited his family’s fishing boat, moved to Dream Harbor a few years ago, and set up a fishing tour company. But by this time of the year, tours were few and far between. He picked up bartending shifts in the winter to make ends meet, but as far as Logan could tell, Noah lived a pretty laid-back life until summer rolled around again.

‘I came to check on you.’

‘Check on me?’

‘Yeah, of course. Check on you. Haven’t seen you since trivia night when you bailed before the big dance contest, and I haven’t heard from you since.’

‘Been busy.’

‘Sure, harvest and all. You could answer my texts, though. Kinda thought you might be dead.’

‘Not dead.’ Just not in the mood to talk to anyone. Not while his head was filled with thoughts of Jeanie and what the hell to do about her.

‘How’s Jeanie?’ Noah asked as though reading Logan’s mind. Sneaky bastard.

‘How would I know?’

Noah gave him a knowing smile. ‘I thought you were friends, that’s all.’

Friends. Why did that word feel like a kick to the junk right now? ‘Friends, right. Speaking of friends, I caught the way you were looking at Hazel.’

The redhead’s cheeks blazed to match his hair. ‘Don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Logan crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the fence post. ‘She’s not like the girls you usually date.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Hazel’s smart.’

Noah scoffed. ‘I date smart girls.’

Logan raised an eyebrow. ‘What’s the last book you read?’

‘I don’t know! Is reading a prerequisite for dating Hazel?’

‘She runs a bookstore. Reading is her life. And I knew you wanted to date her.’

‘Maybe I could show her other ways to have fun.’ Noah waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Logan had the sudden urge to punch his overly handsome face.

He narrowed his eyes, something fierce and protective welling up in him.

‘Hazel doesn’t like that sort of fun.’

‘Oh, really?’

‘Stay away from her, Noah. She’ll only end up getting hurt.’ Logan knew how Noah went through women. He hadn’t had a relationship last longer than the length of a summer vacation. The idea of sweet, shy Hazel getting mixed up with Noah had all sorts of brotherly instincts flaring up in him. Not that Hazel was his sister, but when you’re friends with someone long enough it certainly starts to feel like it.

‘Who says I won’t be the one to get hurt?’ The sun glinted off Noah’s copper hair. The freckles dusted across his cheeks made him look younger, almost innocent, but then he flexed his forearm on the railing, and the half-naked mermaid he had tattooed there danced.

Logan huffed, kicking at the dirt in front of him. What the hell was he doing?

The absurdity of the whole conversation hit him smack in the face. He was worried about both his friends, not wanting them to get into something and then have it blow up in their faces. And it was turning him into a busybody like the rest of this town. He might as well join the book club at this point.

Suddenly, everyone’s concern over him and Lucy felt a little less judgey. Like maybe they didn’t see it as a failure, like maybe they just cared about him.

And maybe he was being a prickly recluse for the past year for no reason except his own damaged pride, and now he was going to risk a great thing with Jeanie because he was a damn coward.

Shit. That was inconvenient. Much messier than just being pissed at everyone including himself.

Logan shrugged, wishing he could shake off his revelation. ‘Yeah, sorry. Do what you want.’

‘So, I have your blessing then?’ Noah said with an impish grin.

‘Don’t need it. Hazel’s an adult.’

Noah nodded and Logan could already see the plans he had brewing in those hazel eyes. But Noah’s plans were none of his damn business.

He set his rake aside and wiped the sweat from his forehead. The late fall chill had set in but working in the afternoon sun still worked up a sweat. Noah watched him from his spot by the fence.

Logan didn’t know if it was his friend’s patience, or his new realization that maybe it was care motivating the people around him, or maybe it was just that he was tired of going over things in his own head, but he felt compelled to do something he never did.

He wanted to talk. About his problems. Out loud.

He took a deep breath. Noah raised an eyebrow.

‘I think I screwed things up with Jeanie.’

A slow smile crept across Noah’s face like he had been waiting for this moment. ‘Feels like this conversation could use a beer.’

‘Definitely,’ Logan grunted, already regretting opening his big stupid mouth.

Noah followed Logan into the big house, down the hall, and into his grandmother’s kitchen. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one to Noah. He rummaged through the junk drawer for a bottle opener, but Noah had already popped the top on the edge of the counter.

‘Don’t let Nana see you doing that,’ he muttered.

Noah grinned. ‘Estelle loves me.’

‘She loves her new countertops more.’

Noah laughed, settling into one of the chairs around the kitchen table. Logan stayed leaning against the counter, too restless to sit.

‘So, what happened with Jeanie?’ Noah asked, taking a swig of cold beer. Logan took one too to fortify himself.

‘We’ve been ... uh ... I don’t know, really, but I screwed it up. Hurt her feelings.’

Noah’s eyes widened in delight. ‘Oh, is that why you two scurried out of trivia night so fast? So you could...’

‘It’s not like that,’ Logan snapped, even though it sorta was exactly like that. ‘We were keeping it quiet, that’s all. Didn’t feel like having everyone know my business for once.’

Noah nodded. He hadn’t been at the Christmas-tree lighting debacle, but Logan was sure he knew all about it. Noah definitely knew that one day Lucy was here and the next she was gone. When he’d asked Logan about it, Logan muttered something about it not working out, but he wouldn’t be surprised if they’d hosted a town meeting about it at some point.

‘This town does have a weird thing about you. Personally, I don’t see it.’

Logan huffed a laugh. ‘Yeah, well. I didn’t feel like having this Jeanie thing on everyone’s radar, but I think it’s starting to upset her. The whole secrecy thing. I don’t know.’ He ran a hand down his beard, feeling like a complete idiot.

Noah’s brow furrowed like he was thinking through a puzzle. ‘So, maybe you just need to go public.’ He must have seen the slightly queasy look on Logan’s face because he went on, ‘It doesn’t have to be a big spectacle. Just, you know, date like regular people.’

Right. Date like regular people. That didn’t sound so bad.

But that wasn’t really all of it, was it?

‘What did you think of Lucy?’ Logan blurted out the question before he could think better of it.

Noah paused with his bottle poised at his lips, considering. ‘She was beautiful. Nice girl. But I got a real ‘eat, pray, love’ vibe from her.’

‘What the hell does that mean?’

Noah shrugged. ‘Like she was trying to escape real life by coming here. Like she thought she could find herself or something.’

Everything that Jeanie told him about wanting to start over here, for things to be perfect, played over in his head. She was running from her old life, from her fears, wasn’t she?

‘And what do you think of Jeanie?’ Logan asked, dreading the answer.

Noah’s smile grew. ‘Well, I’ve liked her since she kicked our butts at trivia. She’s fun. Seems game for anything.’

Memories of Jeanie running through the rain with him, of Jeanie’s mouth on his, of Jeanie quizzing him about snacks one minute and ready to catch a ghost the next, played through his mind. He thought of her chatting with every neighbor at the town meetings, of her becoming friends with his best friends. Had Lucy ever seemed settled here?

Would he ever stop comparing them?

He took another drink.

‘Look, man, if you’re worried about Jeanie ditching you, I don’t see it happening any time soon. And as someone who has made a habit of only dating women who are here for the summer, that is my expert opinion.’

Noah finished off his beer. ‘Anyway, this heart-to-heart has been fun! We should do it more often.’ He grinned at Logan.

‘Don’t count on it.’

Noah clapped him on the shoulder. ‘We’ll see.’

Logan sighed, and his friend’s laughter echoed down the hall as he showed himself out. ‘See you around,’ Noah yelled from the front door.

‘See ya.’

Logan stayed leaning against the counter thinking about their conversation long enough to watch the sun begin to dip in the sky. The sounds of the farm quieted; the distant hum of the tractor, the voices of his workers heading home, the bleating of disgruntled goats. He should get some dinner going so Nana wouldn’t have to cook after her class. His grandfather was probably still out in the field, always the last to head in. He liked the quiet after a long day.

By the time Logan moved, he’d come to only one conclusion. He had no idea what the hell he was doing, but he was pretty sure Jeanie was worth it.

He just hoped he hadn’t screwed things up completely.