4. Hallie

Applause explodes around us as all eyes turn our way, but my only focus is on the way my best friend’s face drops in confusion. Maddie looks between the two of us like she is missing something, and before I can make it make sense for her, my stare flicks back towards her father. Mayor Peters is watching us closely, just like every other person in the room, and his face doesn’t look as happy as it should be. This is all a game to him, he enjoys the control, and I know how happy he must feel to be forcing his son”s hand to get what he wants, and this right here is the proof.

Clearly this is a test, and from the tension I can feel rolling off of Josh, he knows it too. This isn’t good, I need to do something, and the first thing I have to do is damage control. The look on Maddie’s face right now doesn’t scream ‘I am happy my best friend just got engaged to my brother’, and that’s a problem, especially if we expect people to buy our story. So without thinking of anything else, I throw my arms around her neck and pull her into an embrace.

If my actions of affection aren’t enough for her to realize we are in an emergency, I hope my next statement is. “We can explain everything I promise, but for right now we really need you to go with this, your dad is watching,” I rush my words out in a whisper against her ear, praying she understands the meaning of them, before pulling back and painting a happy smile across my face.

There is a fake smile across her own mouth now too, one I have seen at every single event like this that we have attended together, and I know I’ve got her. “I’m so happy for you two,” she preens, tossing her blond hair over her shoulder and no doubt enthralling all of the guests around us with her beauty. “My big brother finally popped the question,” she adds, smirking at Josh, who still looks more than mildly irritated.

“We knew you’d be so happy,” I reply, louder than necessary, as I move into his side and place my hand on the center of his chest, which seems to jolt him from his thoughts.

“Couldn’t have planned it without you, sis,” he responds coolly, pulling her into us for a hug of his own before he adds much lower, “Sorry, Mads, we will explain everything after all of this.”

When we pull apart there is no time for any more hushed words between us, because we are immediately accosted by other party goers. Plenty we know, and others we don’t, all offering their congratulations in an effort to suck up to their Mayor. We then get asked every question you would imagine for a newly engaged couple to be asked, until I can barely think straight. I’m not very good at communicating clearly all the time, especially to people I don’t know, so Madeline does her best to interrupt when she can, answering questions with ease. It reminds me that she has basically trained her whole life for this kind of thing, and all it does is reinforce to me why I am doing this.

Of course the number one question is people wondering where the ring is, which we manage to ignore or move past with ease the first couple of times we are asked, but when a third person asks, Josh jumps in and saves us. “It’s being resized, we need to get it done before we get pictures for the announcements to go out.” An answer which is met with understanding, because of course what”s a high society wedding without an announcement.

There are mentions of engagement parties, bridal showers, and huge event spaces where we could hold the wedding, all of which overwhelm me, but my forced smile of a mask remains in place. Josh is a rock by my side, holding me against him, and any other time I might enjoy his firm body being pressed against me, but right now I just feel like I could collapse into bed and rot.

After twenty-minutes of hell, I manage to slip off and grab myself another glass of champagne, surprised to see that Josh leaves behind Maddie and follows after me. My best friend is still doing damage control after her father’s bomb dropped, as her brother accosts me by the drinks table and curses.

“Can you fucking believe he did that?” he seethes, grabbing himself a glass and draining it completely. I shouldn’t be surprised at his anger, I know better than most people what his true feelings towards his father are.

I flick my eyes across the room and find the man in question still watching us, which is why I casually brush my hand on his shoulder in what to outsiders would be mistaken as intimacy. “He’s still watching us,” I reply quietly, bringing my body next to his once more and desperately trying to ignore his alluring scent, as I pretend this whole thing doesn’t affect me.

Engaged.

I am engaged. Something I have honestly wondered if I would ever be, yet now here I am, engaged, to Josh of all people. One of the first people to ever truly get me, to become my friend, and now my fiancé.

How the hell am I going to survive this with my heart still intact?

At that thought I almost tell him I’ve changed my mind, that I can’t do this without ever giving him a reason why, but then he looks at me. He looks at me and the ground beneath me shifts, because right now he isn’t looking at me like I am his friend, he is looking at me like I am his savior, as he scoffs at what I said.

“Of course he is, if he had his way he’d have us exchange our vows right here and consummate the marriage in front of him and all his pathetic guests,” Josh spits, turning towards me and pulling my body into his with little to no effort. I swallow my gasp as he presses up against me, and silently pray he doesn’t see the blush no doubt staining my cheeks. “This has to work, Hallie, I cannot let him win again, we have to make him believe this is real.”

His words and his body rob me of any response, because for just a second he isn’t the harsh and brutal Josh I have come to know. No, instead I see a flash of the boy I fell in love with, the soft and gentle boy who became my best friend when I was nine years old. When I don’t say anything, he jolts back a little, breaking his intensity as if now realizing our close position. He moves to separate us, but knowing his father’s gaze still preys upon us, I grip the lapel of his jacket and hold him in place. Then I use my other hand to turn his cheek away from his father and other prying eyes, making the moment look more intimate than it is.

“It will work, Josh, I can make them believe it’s real,” I all but promise him, not adding out loud how easy it will be for me to do that.

A real marriage requires trust, lust, and love, and unfortunately I just so happen to have all three for my fake fiancé. Something he thankfully doesn’t notice as he sighs and nods at me, pulling our bodies apart, but looping our arms together, turning us back towards the rest of the room. Most people”s eyes are still on us, and I try not to shudder under the countless female stares looking at me with distaste.

“Let’s just make it through the next couple of hours, which should be easy considering we have the wrath of Maddie waiting for us,” he muses, our eyes flicking over to her, and though her smile is still in place, I can still see some betrayal in her eyes as she looks at us.

“I will handle Mads, don’t worry,” I tell him, knowing that whenever the two of them argue, though it’s rare, it always gets heated. “Let’s just get tonight over with, and I’m sure everything else will be fine.”

Everything but my heart that is.

We spend the next two hours blurring the lines between the stories of our friendship, and creating the fake relationship we now have, until people are making comments like ‘they always knew we’d get married’. By the time we leave, I feel the mask that I have kept perfectly in place all night slipping. I’m not stupid, I know how these parties work, I have been attending ones like them for as long as I can remember, but I have never let myself be the center of attention at any of them. If anything, I go out of my way to be invisible, always staying on the outskirts, only speaking to the few people I like, Maddie and Josh included on that very short list, and then leaving without incident, and honestly I expected tonight to be the same.

Of course as usual I underestimated Mayor Peters, and it seems I am not the only one struggling with tonight”s events and revelations, because when we leave the party and climb into the car, Maddie slides into the back seat silently. Which leaves me to take the front seat with her brother once more, as we endure the world”s most silent and awkward car ride. Not one to ever feel comfortable in the spotlight, I don’t bother breaking the tension, and by the time Josh pulls up at our house, I have practically picked all of the skin off my thumb in my anxious state.

Maddie slides out of the car first, moving right up the steps of the house, not even greeting her bodyguard Hector on her way, as she unlocks the door and stomps inside. Josh and I sigh in unison, as we both unbuckle our seatbelts and head inside to face the music.

When we reach the living room, Maddie is standing in the center and all she does is grit out one word, “Explain.”

I move to take a step forward, but Josh puts out his arm and blocks my way, taking the steps necessary to put himself in the center between me and Mads. I guess he knows how to handle this situation more than I do, so I let him take the lead, it’s their father’s demands after all. What I don’t expect is for him to totally ream her out.

“You knew this was going to happen, Maddie, what else did you expect?” His tone is harsher than I anticipated towards her, and she opens her mouth to respond but he cuts her off. “You chose Nova, remember? And I chose to step in and take your place so you could have him, so what else is there to explain?”

Of course growing up with him I am more than used to the anger that clings to him right now, but so is his sister. Maddie stalks towards him with nothing but contempt in her eyes for her brother right now, and I know this isn’t going to be easy.

“What else is there to explain?” she repeats with disbelief, a humorless air about her tone. “I don’t know, how about how my best friend became involved, how about why you didn’t tell me this was happening, how about why you didn’t pick literally anyone else in the world, huh? Why don’t you explain that?” Her tone is just as harsh as her brother’s, and I doubt telling her that her father picked me would make her any less angry right now. I know stepping between them will do nobody any good, so I remain quiet.

“Father made his demands and I met them,” Josh replies flatly, and I wish his words didn’t sting me the way they do, despite knowing how fake this all is. “Demands that were given so you could live your own life however you want, remember?”

I’m not stupid, I knew all about the deal that my best friend”s father was trying to force on her. He threatened her tuition at Fairfield U if she didn’t marry the guy he picked out, but when everything happened with Nova, I just assumed it was all off the table. They might not see eye to eye, but Josh has always been his golden boy. Smart and athletic, and someone he could brag about to his fellow political sycophants. I never expected him to make a new deal with his son, and even more so, I never expected Josh would ever actually accept such a thing. Yet the Mayor knew the one weakness that would get him.

“I didn’t want this, and I’m not accepting it, pick someone else,” Maddie urges, and panic flows through my entire body at the thought of Josh playing happily ever after with someone else, even if it is pretend.

“The deal is already done, Madeline, it was you or me, you or her,” he states simply, moving to stand beside me. “And we both chose you.”

Maddie looks between us, shaking her head in refusal, but when her brother doesn’t budge, she turns her attention to me. “I won’t let you do this, Hallie, not for me.” Tears gather in her eyes now, and I push away from Josh, and pull her hands into mine.

“Maddie, you”re my best friend and I love you, but you can’t stop me from saving you, not when I’ve seen how happy you’ve been lately.” And she has been so happy, Nova has changed her completely, it’s why I didn’t hesitate in saying yes, not just for Josh, but for her too. “You can’t ask me to take that away from you,” I tell her with a smile.

“And I can’t ask you to throw away your life to marry Josh,” she cries, and I almost laugh. Laugh at the thought of anyone thinking they were throwing their life away getting to marry someone as kind-hearted as Josh Peters, but instead I just try and reassure her.

“It will be okay, we have a plan,” I start but Josh cuts me off.

“Our marriage isn’t really any of your business, Maddie. I asked Hallie to be my wife and she said yes, end of discussion.” His words are said with such finality that I flinch, but of course his sister doesn’t back down.

“No, not end of discussion,” she yells back just as there is a knock at the door, and neither of them even look in its direction as they stare each other down.

I roll my eyes at their melodramatics and move to answer it, not surprised in the slightest at who waits on the other side. Nova Darkmore greets me with a smile that I’m sure would make most women”s knees go weak, including my best friend’s, but apparently my affliction to blond haired assholes, who are now technically my fiancé, makes me immune.

“Hals,” he greets me warmly, not showing any disappointment at me being the one to answer. “How was the party?”

I step aside to let him in, given he finds his way here most nights and I am more than used to him frequenting our house now, as I grunt back, “It was… eventful.” Only then does he hear the shouting coming from the living room and his smile drops as he looks at me in concern. “Like I said, eventful,” I add with a sigh, leading him towards the living room.

“Did you honestly think you could just choose your boyfriend and skip off into the fucking sunset?” Josh scoffs. “Wake up, Maddie, dad wanted a deal and he got one, and it no longer concerns you.” I approach the two of them with Nova by my side, and only then does Josh notice his arrival. “Why don’t you enjoy the aftermath of my decisions and stay out of my business,” he sneers, gesturing towards the captain of his hockey team.

“Everything okay here?” Nova asks, his question tinted with a dark edge, as he moves himself in between Maddie and her brother.

Josh’s stare only hardens as it flicks between them. “Everything is fine, Darkmore,” he spits, silently staring down at his sister, and ignoring Nova’s presence completely.

Maddie stares right back, but I see the moment she knows her brother isn’t going to back down, and her fight dissipates. She sighs heavily, looking at both of us with regret, before she turns her attention to Nova and pleads, “Just get me out of here, Charmer.”

Nova looks between the three of us confused before he nods slightly, pulling his girlfriend from the fray of tension circling around us, and we both watch in silence as they leave. That silence lingers a few seconds after the door is slammed behind them, before Josh curses.

“Fuck,” he yells, reaching up to loosen his tie, and cracking his neck at the same time.

“She’ll come around,” I tell him with more hope than I have, and he almost gruffs a laugh.

“Why are you always so optimistic that everything will just work out?” he snaps, and I can practically feel his shields going back up around him. Shields I have been trying to penetrate ever since he found out what kind of man his father truly is, and failing every time.

“I guess I just see things black and white. She is your sister and she loves you, she will get over this fight and you guys will go back to normal,” I shrug, not really knowing how to answer him in any other way.

I have barely even finished my sentence when he interrupts me again. “None of this is fucking normal, Hallie.” His anger flows off him in waves, and all I want to do is reach into them and pull him out. “Normal would be a father who doesn’t force his children into ridiculous archaic notions just to satisfy his own needs to stay on top.” He turns away from me, placing his fists on the back of the sofa and dropping his head down towards the floor, inhaling deeply as if trying to catch his breath.

Moving towards him, I place my hand on his shoulder, something I have done multiple times tonight, only this time he flinches completely. His head shoots up, and he pushes away from me like my touch is poison, and looking back at me is someone I both recognize and hate. It isn’t the little boy who gave me a ring pop when we were kids, it isn’t even the man who asked me to marry him just a few hours ago. No, the only person who stands before me now is his father’s son.

“You did good tonight,” he tells me flatly, like I’m nothing but a damn show pony, and I steel my spine against his whip of words. “We can work out whatever other issues if and when they arise, but for now we should be good.” Then without waiting for me to respond, he turns on his heels and heads towards the front door. I don’t bother following him, I know when it comes to Josh Peters that I have to pick my battles, and right now this isn’t a war I want to wage with him.

So I let him leave, and just like always he takes half of my heart with him, and when I finally hear the slam of the door, I let my first tear fall. I don’t know why I cry, but I do. I let the emotions of this entire night rush to the surface. All of the people, the music, the foods, the smells, the faking it, all of it consumes me until I barely even make it up the stairs, and I don’t bother taking off my dress before I crawl into bed.

I pull Percy the Penguin, a soft toy my husband-to-be won for me when I was a kid, towards me and cuddle him tight, knowing that just like every night I wish there was someone to hold me while I cry. I also know that Josh might make my heart hurt now, but it will be nothing compared to how it will feel when this is all over. I don’t care how temporary this thing between us is, I know I will barely make it out alive. Love really is the worst disease, isn’t it?