21. Hallie

My mind is spinning as I storm from Josh’s house and start making my way back home. The walk is only around ten minutes but it feels like it takes forever, and my heart thunders in my chest the entire time. He kissed me. Josh kissed me, and it wasn’t just an almost kiss, or the lingering press of our lips like at the wedding. No, it was a full-on take your breath away kiss, and all I could do was run away. Not because it wasn’t good, but because it was so good that I could barely even keep myself upright.

Crush is a fickle word, and doesn’t even come close to describing how I feel about him, but as his lips pressed against mine, nothing else mattered. Not our title as best friends, or the rings on our fingers. No, the only thing that mattered was how perfectly he fit against me, how his lips felt against mine, and how it was both too much and not enough at the same time. Which is why I wrote the rules in the first place, not because I didn’t want to kiss him, but because I knew if I did that I would fall even deeper into the pit that is Josh Peters, and well, now here I am.

I’m not sure what time it is, but as I reach the house and fling open the door, I’m grateful to find my best friend eating breakfast. “I’m in love with your brother,” I gasp, letting out the only words that are on my mind, not caring about the repercussions, even as her eyes widen. Not to mention the look on her boyfriend”s face as he sits beside her. “Hey, Nova,” I add breathlessly, dumping my bag to the floor and closing the distance between us.

“Hey, Hals,” Nova cuts in with a smirk, sipping his coffee as he flicks his stare between me and Maddie, waiting for her response. He is more than used to being present for our gossiping sessions lately, though I’m not usually the topic of them.

Ignoring him I focus solely on her, not caring that he can hear me as I add, “And I know I’m your best friend, and this is so breaking girl code, but I’m sorry I can’t help it. I’m in love with Josh,” I rush out, praying she can forgive me for this, but also knowing I won’t be able to stop even if she doesn’t.

“I know,” she replies gently with a smile, popping another piece of bacon into her mouth, as Nova runs his hand up and down her bare legs.

“You know?” I question, not really sure if she is grasping the situation at hand. “What do you mean you know?”

Maddie puts down her fork and sits up in the chair, leaning towards me. “I mean I know you’re in love with Josh,” she says, as if it’s the most casual thing in the world, and I can’t help but feel both shocked and confused.

I have been friends with her just as long as I have been friends with Josh, and I never once thought I made my crush on her brother obvious. In fact, I treated them both the same, and then when he pushed me away, I treated him like I didn’t care. Our communication was solely name calling and snapping at one another. So how the hell did she figure it out?

“Since when?” I ask quietly, wondering when she discovered my biggest secret.

“Since we were nine.” Four words and I feel like my whole world has been blown apart, and I can’t say anything in return. “Come on, Hals, you didn’t exactly hide it. Your eyes lit up every time he walked into a room, you’re comfortable around him, and you’ve never given yourself a chance with anyone else over the years, despite having a lot of interest. It didn’t exactly make me a genius to figure it out.”

All I can do is stare at her in shock, and just as I open my mouth to respond, the front door swings open and I turn to find Josh stalking towards me. “Mads, Darkmore,” he greets with a quick nod, before dipping down and tossing me over his shoulder effortlessly. “Excuse us, we’re in the middle of a fight.”

He doesn’t even hang around to listen to their response, just turns and starts heading towards the stairs. “Put me down you fucking neanderthal,” I scream, banging my fists into his back, but all he does is land a hard smack onto my ass, making me yelp.

“Not until you stop acting like a little brat,” he tosses back, climbing the stairs with ease as if he isn’t supporting any extra weight at all. In fact, he doesn’t stop until he reaches my room, and only then does he put me back on my feet, slamming my door behind us. “Now where were we?” he asks, looking both frustrated and amused as he adds, “Ah yes, that’s right, I kissed you and then you ran off like a chicken leaving me naked and alone.”

I scoff at the mental image, ignoring what it does to my insides as I yell, “Yeah, well you broke the rules.” I storm to my set of drawers, ripping open the top one and pulling out the pad that houses our agreement. “There it is in black and green, rule number one: no kissing,” I tell him, not sure what I am really angry at. Am I mad because he kissed me? Or am I mad because the kiss was so freaking good?

“Oh my god you are the biggest drama queen I have ever met in my entire life,” he snaps, moving to snatch the pad away from me and tossing it to the ground

“And you’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever met in my entire life,” I seethe, panting heavily, as his hands find my waist again and he pulls me up against him. “And why did you even kiss me, anyway?” I add, hating that my voice, though still shouting, is starting to lose its edge of anger.

“Because you’re mine,” he spits, his voice hoarse and almost breaking.

“I’m not yours!” I shriek back, hating how good those three words just sounded coming from his mouth. “This is fake, remember, none of this is real.”

This time when he pulls me against him, I can feel the long, hard outline of his cock pressing into my stomach, as he brings his left hand up to curl around my neck. The other reaches down and entangles with my left hand, as his thumb finds the rings there. “These rings,” he starts, flicking my wedding and engagement bands. “These rings mean you are mine, fake or not, in the eyes of the law you belong to me,” he murmurs, dropping his forehead to mine, as his other hand gently squeezes my throat, until I can feel the bite of his own wedding band. “And feel this ring? Fuck, this ring means I belong to you, Hallie. It means you own me, so that is why I kissed you.”

My heart is pounding out of my chest, every hair on my body standing on end as each of his words send me out into orbit with no way of ever returning. “But what about rule number one,” I can’t help but breathe, and all he does is smile.

“Fuck the rules, Tink.” Then his mouth is on mine, robbing me of any response, and I am both his wife, and a slut for the boy who is my crush, so who am I to not kiss him back?

Our mouths collide as my body ignites. He’s kissing me, Josh Peters, my best friend, my husband, is kissing me, and just like that first kiss back in his bedroom, it’s everything I need and more. His mouth is insistent, urgent, yet his lips are soft and smooth as they give me something I have been craving for years. He might be an asshole most of the time, and this might even be fake, but right now he’s kissing me like he might cease to exist without the taste of my lips against his. Everything else around us melts away, and there is no fake marriage, no deal with his father, or no friendship to ruin. It’s just me and him, and us.

Without tearing us apart, he pushes me until the back of my legs hit the bed and then I am falling, with him still on me, until my back hits the mattress and the kiss never falters. I can feel him everywhere, all at once, and it’s too much, yet will never ever be enough.

“Fuck, Hallie,” he growls, trailing his mouth down my jaw and onto my neck, as I squirm beneath him, searching for some much needed friction. “You taste so fucking good,” he adds, coming back up and slamming his lips on mine.

I moan into his mouth, not caring if I run out of air, just not wanting this moment right here to end.

Knock. Knock.

“Everything okay in there guys,” Maddie asks through the door, and Josh groans.

“Fuck off, I’m talking to my wife,” he shouts back, and I can’t help but laugh, as he comes back again, kissing and fucking my mouth with his tongue like I am the best thing he has ever tasted. Then his teeth sink into my lip, biting down hard until I yelp, like some sort of out of control animal.

Then he pulls back and looks at me in a way I have never seen, like he is seeing me differently, seeing us differently, and for the first time ever I feel hope that we could be something more.

“That was for running away from me, don’t do it again, Hals, you’re mine now,” he tells me, pressing another gentle kiss to my mouth, making me swoon, before a coldness hits me as he pulls his body off of me and stands.

Sitting up on my elbows, my legs still spread wide to accommodate him, I pant, “Where the hell are you going?”

His eyes trail over every inch of my body as he bites his lip and shakes his head. “I’ve got practice and I’m already late.”

I immediately sit up and glare at him. “You have practice? Then what the hell are you doing here?”

Josh bends down, cupping my cheeks and kissing me one last time. “I’m making sure my girl knows who she belongs to.” And then with that, he is pulling back and tossing me a wink. “See you later, Mrs. Peters.”

He saunters to the door, throwing it open, only to reveal Maddie on the other side, who looks between the two of us and states, “Nova already left.”

Josh laughs, “As if I was going to go over there with that prick anyway.” Then he is gone down the hall, and I wait until I hear the sound of the front door slamming, until I look my best friend in the eye.

“Ice cream and Grey’s?” she asks, and I’m already nodding.

“Ice cream and Grey’s,” I agree, shoving off my bed and following her downstairs.

Which is how I find myself spending the morning holed up on the sofa with McDreamy and telling my best friend everything that has happened.

“Oh my god, I do not need to know that you saw my brother’s penis,” Maddie groans, fake gagging, as she discards the ice cream she was eating.

“You said you wanted the whole story,” I point out with a shrug, and she shakes her head.

“Yeah, well now I don’t want to hear another word, you guys are fucking gross.”

“Oh please, like I don’t hear Nova ringing your bell multiple times a night,” I toss back, holding my hand up towards her. “High five by the way.”

Her face is a picture of modesty, before she smirks and smacks her palm against mine. You should always high five your friend about great dick, it’s good manners.

Then after a couple of hours of TV and gossiping, we decide to get our homework out of the way considering we will be busy tomorrow with another Sunday dinner spent at her parents, and by the time we have done that I am beyond starving. My stomach is growling for attention, reminding me I have only consumed ice cream so far today.

“Want me to make us some lunch?” Maddie offers, clearing away her books, but I am already shaking my head.

“No, I know exactly what I want, and nothing else will do,” I tell her, tossing my own books into my bag and shoving it under the table as I stand and stretch.

“You know my brother’s dick isn’t on the menu right?” Maddie jokes far too easily, and I can feel the blush from the inside out.

“No you bitch, I meant a burger from this diner Josh takes me to,” I recall, remembering the mouthwatering cheeseburger, fries, and milkshake I had the night he taught the kids at the community center.

We’ve been back a couple of times together and I have quickly become obsessed. Finding a new staple to add to my rotation of foods, and right now it’s the only thing I want to eat.

“What diner?” Maddie asks, and when I tell her the name she still looks equally confused. “Oh, I’ve never been there before, but it sounds good, let me just go and throw some shoes on.”

We both quickly get ready to leave, and then take the scenic route by the lake at the back of our house to get into town. It’s a little chilly, but the fresh air is distracting me from checking my phone to see if Josh has messaged me. I’m not really sure where we stand after everything that happened this morning. I know he said I’m his, but I don’t exactly know what that means. I mean, if we are being technical then my heart has always been his, and the ring on my finger only increases that, but it still doesn’t mean I know where we truly stand.

By the time we make it to the diner, Maddie has complained at least a hundred times about how cold it is, but I barely even feel it. When we push inside, I’m glad to find it’s not too busy, and I’m not surprised to spy two familiar faces as we head towards the counter to ask for a table.

“Hallie,” Penelope shouts, spotting me instantly and turning her stool towards me in greeting, offering up her hand for a high five.

I have to hand it to her, we have only spent a few hours together over the last couple of weeks, and she caught on quickly to the fact that I don’t exactly like being touched. Which, when you are helping teach a class of kids, is usually something that would be hard to convey. A lot of the little boys like to hug my waist when they score a goal, which I force myself to accept, yet the little girl noticed my discomfort and figured out why.

“Hey Penelope, how are you?” I ask, smacking my palm to hers, and she smiles holding up a book, as she rolls her eyes.

“My mom is making me read this,” she claims, just as her mom comes from the kitchen.

“Reading makes you smart,” she tells her, offering me a smile. “Hey, Hallie, good to see you.”

“Hey Callia, good to see you too” I greet her, before focusing back on her daughter. “Your mom is right, reading is good for the soul, I love to read.”

Penelope’s eyes light up at my statement. “You do?”

“Of course, I read all the time, it’s so much fun, you get to live so many lives in the pages of books,” I tell her, and when I flick my eyes to her mom she mouths a thank you.

“Okay, well maybe this book isn’t totally boring,” she quickly switches up, before her gaze moves to Maddie. “Who’s this?” she asks, cocking her eyebrows in the exact same way as my best friend, and I swear it’s like looking at a miniature version of her.

“This is my best friend, Madeline, she’s Josh’s sister,” I explain, and Penelope’s eyes widen, yet Callia is staring at her in complete shock, though I’m not sure why. “Maddie, this is Penelope and her mom Callia, Josh teaches her at the center.”

Like the perfectly trained daughter she is, Maddie holds out her hand for Penelope to shake. “It’s nice to meet you Penelope, and you too Callia.” She flicks her stare between the two, and Callia quickly snaps out her daze and nods at her with a smile, as Maddie adds, “And what’s this about Josh teaching a class at the center?”

Crap.

It’s only now that I remember that Josh didn’t tell anyone about the class, yet before I can say anything, Penelope beats me to it. “Josh teaches me to play hockey, he’s so much fun, he shows us tricks and explains the rules, it’s awesome,” Penny gushes, before moving her stare to me. “And Hallie has been teaching us how to beat Josh, that’s even more awesome.”

Pride curls in my gut at the high praise coming from the girl, and I quickly snap my eyes to Maddie and add, “I’ll explain later.” All she does is nod as, thankfully, Callia comes to the rescue.

“Do you want your usual, Hallie?” she asks, knowing I’ve eaten the exact same thing every time I have come here, and I nod.

“What’s your usual?” Maddie asks, and when I tell her she smiles. “Make that two of her usual please,” she says to Callia with a smile.

“Great, why don’t you find a seat and I’ll bring it over,” she tells us, a wary look in her eyes that I have never seen before, and I almost want to ask if she”s okay.

“Or you can sit with me?” Pen says with a smile that says she would love nothing more, and before I can even look at Maddie to ask her, she is already pulling out a chair beside the little girl, making her smile even wider.

“Tell me about this book then?” Maddie asks, and from the gleam in Penelope’s eyes, I know she is feeling the same thing I did when Madeline Peters first showed an interest in me, and all I can do is take the other stool and watch them in awe as a new friendship is born.

Callia doesn’t take long to bring out our food, ensuring her daughter has some lunch too, but I find that she lingers a lot, watching us interact with Penelope like she thinks we might run off with her. Yet I suppose I would be the same if I had a daughter. You can never be too careful who you let into your life, so I can’t really blame her.

We end up sitting there for over an hour, Maddie leaving Penelope starry-eyed as she talks about the fairy dollhouse she had growing up, as she switches her attention between the girl and her phone. “I still have it in my room at my parents’ house, you can have it if you like, it’s just there gathering dust.”

Penelope’s eyes widen, as her jaw drops. “Oh my god, are you serious? I’ve never had a fairy dollhouse before.”

In the time we have spent together I have realized that Callia and Penelope don’t have a lot of stuff, hell the book she has now discarded is clearly second hand, and though Penny is always dressed immaculately, Callia isn’t. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that anything her mom gets goes straight to her, and she is clearly killing it at being the best single mom she can be, but everyone still needs help sometimes.

“No, we can’t accept that,” Callia cuts in from the register, having overheard their conversation. “Thank you, but that’s far too much.”

Penelope’s face drops and I can tell that she must know how hard her mom works for her, yet she’s still a kid who just wants a dollhouse.

“Honestly, it’s no big deal, I’ve been meaning to get rid of it for a while, and what better way than to give it to someone who can breathe some magic back into it,” Maddie is quick to say. “I can even drop it off for you, it would be my pleasure,” she insists with a smile, and just like with everyone, her charm does the trick.

“Please, Mom, pretty please,” Penelope pleads, and I see the moment her mom caves.

“Okay,” Callia sighs, and the little girl practically throws herself into Maddie’s lap with tears in her eyes as she adds, “Thank you, Maddie.”

“No thanks necessary,” she tells her, arms round Penelope who is still half in her lap, squeezing the life out of her, which is how Nova finds us.

“Should I be concerned that I now have to share you with a child?” Nova asks with a smile, as he comes up behind us and drops a kiss to Maddie’s head.

Penelope instantly sits up, eyes locking onto him as she blurts, “Wow, you’re pretty.”

Nova laughs, instantly declaring, “Hey kid, I like you already.”

I turn to find not only him, but Alexander and Archer too, and hope surges inside of me as I flick my gaze past them but come up empty, and I can’t help but ask, “What are you guys doing here?”

Nova eyes me with confusion given my tone, but still replies, “Maddie texted and said you guys were here, so we came for a late lunch.”

Maddie turns and accepts another kiss from him, before turning to Penelope. “Pen, this is my boyfriend Nova Darkmore, and his friends Archer Gray and Alexander Reign.” For some reason she blushes as she says Alexander’s name, and he pointedly looks anywhere but at her, as she adds, “They play on the same hockey team as my brother.” I’m sure her introductions are more for Callia than her daughter, who is eyeing all the boys with wonder.

“You guys know, Josh?” Penelope asks excitedly.

“Know him?” Archer jumps in like a jacked-up Golden Retriever. “Peters and I go way back,” he lies boldly, making me smile. “I even went to his wedding.”

Of course Penelope doesn’t detect his bullshit as she gasps, “Wow, you must be best friends.”

Archer grins, winking at me. “Oh, the bestest.”

I lean over and smack the back of his head like I have seen his so-called bestie do before I ask, “And where is my husband?”

At my question his smile instantly drops, as he looks between his friends, and it’s only then I notice there is a bruise on the corner of his left eye. All three boys look like they have a secret, but it’s Nova that finally replies, “Josh is dealing with something, I’m sure he’ll call you later.”

With that, the three of them grab menus without another word, moving over to a booth so they can order some food, while Maddie bids a goodbye to Penelope so she can join her boyfriend. Meanwhile I am frozen to the spot, hands shaking as I pull out my phone in a panic.

Hallie : Hey everything okay?

I might not be sure where we stand, but despite everything that happened between us this morning, he is still my friend first. His reply is almost instant.

Peter Pan : No

Peter Pan : Daemon isn’t having a good day. I need to stay with him

Unease settles deep in my stomach, both with worry for his friend and for what this means for us. I have gotten to know Daemon a little better since Josh and I decided to do this, yet he’s like an onion, you peel back one layer just to find another. I have barely yet been able to peel back one. Yet I know Josh has dug his way a lot deeper than I have with him over the last few years, so if anyone can help him with whatever he has going on, it’s him.

Peter Pan : You’re still my girl, Tink

Butterflies attack my stomach as my heart pounds in my chest at the five simple words written on my phone screen.

Hallie : Just take care of your friend, don’t worry about me

Peter Pan : You’re mine to worry about remember

Hallie : Psycho

Peter Pan : Brat

Hallie : Asshole

Peter Pan : Mine

I don’t respond, not really sure of what to say, yet I still keep my phone in my hand for almost the rest of the day. I joined Maddie and the guys while they enjoyed lunch, all of them conveniently not mentioning anything about practice. Then head home alone while Maddie goes off with Nova, with only one thought in my mind.

What the hell happened at that practice?