17. Hallie

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind. Josh and I went from barely talking to one another, to being married and seeing each other everyday in an instant. It makes quite a change from putting up with him being a complete and total asshole to me, now he’s only a little bit of an asshole, but still an asshole all the same. Yet it’s nice to be back on common ground with him, and somehow things feel different to how they were before. His barriers are still there of course, but now they feel more like fences I could climb, rather than walls that would shut me out completely. I see the boy from before his father tainted him, and I know it’s not the same, that he has been tainted, but it doesn’t change how much I enjoy being around him. And I’m not stupid, I know it doesn’t mean anything to him, not in the way it does to me, but spending so much time together is not great for the slight crush I have on him.

Okay, so I love him more now than I ever have, but that’s not my fault.

First of all, he’s hot. Second of all, he’s an asshole, and third of all, he’s a shameless flirt. How the hell am I supposed to resist that? I’m just a girl.

The feelings I’ve had for him, the ones that I have spent years mashing down, are now alive and burning hotter than ever. Feelings that are never more tangible than when I am watching him spin around the rink like a flash, letting nothing and no one get in his way.

I’ve never really been into sports, not in the way most people are. My dad was always more concerned with business and spending time with my mom and me to ever take notice of anything else, so I always thought I would be the same. Then I met Josh. From the very first moment I stepped through the trees that separated our houses, and saw him flying around with a stick and a puck, I was hooked. Not just on him, but the game too.

Yet not once during the many times I wrote our names in a heart in the back of my notepads, did I ever think I would grow up to marry him and be rinkside at his games. Sure, I’ve had the fantasy plenty of times, where he finishes his game all hot and sweaty and then takes me right there on the ice, but that’s all it ever was, a silly yet ridiculously hot fantasy.

Now here I am, sitting front row with his jersey name and number across my back, only now it’s not just his name, it’s my name too.

Both teams are on the ice making porn, and by that I mean, stretching for the upcoming game, and my eyes are focused solely on the number twenty-two. Other members of the team are laughing and joking with one another, but my husband and his housemate are both silent and solemn as they get themselves warmed up. I watch as he stretches himself into every position imaginable, and the fantasy about him taking me on the ice is the only thing I can think about.

“Careful or you might get drool on your jersey,” Maddie teases, jolting me from my thoughts as my gaze snaps to hers.

“What? No, I wasn’t looking at him,” I say far too quickly, before adding, “I mean, I’m not drooling.”

My best friend laughs. “You”re a terrible liar, you know that right?” she replies, mirroring what her brother has said to me countless times.

“I may have heard that a time or too.” I casually flick my gaze around the arena, forcing myself not to look at him, as my best friend eyes me. “But I wasn’t looking at anything.”

Maddie shakes her head, her eyes moving back to her boyfriend as she smiles. “You know if you bang my brother that’s like breaking girl code, right?”

“What? How is that breaking girl code?” I question instantly before cringing and switching up. “I mean, I don’t even want to bang him so why would I care about girl code?” I shrug, as if she isn’t digging her claws into my biggest secret and spilling it all over the ice without a care in the world.

“I don’t know who the bigger idiot is, you or my brother,” she replies, shaking her head, as she waves to Nova, and I can’t help but feel envious of her and what they have.

The last month they have surprised us all and become stronger than ever. Nova hasn’t even looked at another girl, his sole focus remaining on the girl beside me, worshiping the ground she walks on, and from the noises I hear coming from her bedroom at night, rocking her world too. And Maddie is like a different person, her confidence shining brighter than ever, and the barbs from her father that used to make her a nervous wreck barely even matter to her anymore.

They are perfect for one another, and all it does is twist me up inside, because that’s what we all want, isn’t it? We want to find a best friend, a lover, a confidant, someone who sees all of you, your highs, your lows, and everything in between, and falls for you anyway. It’s what they have, it’s what my parents have, and it’s what I am desperate for.

“I resent that statement,” I tell her, but all she does is offer me some nachos with a smile.

“Just go back to staring, you little hoe bag,” she tosses back, bumping my shoulder with hers.

And well, who am I to deny my best friend?

By the time the game starts, the amount of fantasies in my head has trebled, each one more filthy than the last. Those thoughts are only intensified when Josh scores a goal and the crowd goes wild. I’m on my feet screaming his name at the top of my lungs and riding the high with him, but it doesn’t last long.

A player from the opposing team crashes into him, slamming him into the ice and my heart catches in my throat. The guy manages a few hits before Daemon rips him away, helping Josh to his feet, but even from across the ice I can see the switch in him has flipped. Josh doesn’t stop, he doesn’t walk away, he is on the guy in an instant, smashing him to the floor and returning every hit he received tenfold until we can see the blood on the ice.

By the time they are pulled apart, Josh is bleeding from his lip, but the other guy is bleeding from his whole face, barely able to stand as his teammates help him to his feet. Proving my theory that he is totally psychotic, and one hundred percent completely hot.

The other guy is escorted from the ice to see a medic and Josh is sent off for five minutes in the sin bin. I watch as he skates across the ice towards where we are sitting, the entire time my eyes not leaving the blood that drips from his mouth, wanting nothing more than to wipe it away. Now it’s not like I have never seen him fight before, if I am honest it happens more than I care to admit, he’s always been a hot head, especially where Maddie was concerned, but I can’t help but wonder what made him snap this time.

When he reaches the sin bin his eyes instantly find mine and I can’t help but shake my head in mock disappointment, ignoring the thrill his bloody smile and wink brings me. Yet that feeling soon turns sour when I overhear some girls gossiping behind me.

“Oh my god, Josh Peters is so hot,” one girl gushes, and jealousy burns at the back of my throat instantly.

“I know, it should be illegal to look that good on the ice,” her friend agrees, and I feel Maddie stiffen beside me, having obviously overheard them too, and I feel her worried gaze hit the side of my face.

I keep my eyes on the game and pray that’s the end of it, but then I hear the first girl”s voice again, only louder this time. “Hey Peters!” she yells, causing Josh to turn his head toward us. “If you want to score again my goal is wide open.”

Anger burns up inside of me so fast that I want to scream, and I can hear my heartbeat as it pumps rapidly inside my chest. I will myself to be the type of person to turn around and tell them he belongs to me, but it’s just not me. And that would be a lie, wouldn’t it? Yes I’m wearing his ring, but outside of that we know none of this is real.

Josh stands and turns with a smile and a feeling of dread like I have never known curls in the pit of my stomach. Yet instead of replying, all he does is rip off his left glove, bring the hand up to his mouth and bite down on something white around his finger until it pulls away. Only then does he hold up his hand and showcase his fourth finger. His very occupied fourth finger.

Oh my god he’s wearing his wedding ring.

My heart starts to slam against my rib cage and I almost think I won’t be able to hear anything other than my heartbeat when he opens his mouth, but then his words cut right through the white noise.

“I’ve already scored the only goal I’ll ever need.” His words aren’t casual, and as soon as they are out he brings his gaze back to mine and winks again. “You look good with my last name on your back, Mrs. Peters.”

I hear the girls gasp as we gather more notice from the people around us, now all looking at me in a new light, and I pray my voice doesn’t shake as I force myself to reply loudly, “It’s my last name now too, maybe I’m wearing it for me?”

A couple of people laugh, Maddie included, but as the clock on his time in the sin bin runs out, he stands and backs out with a wink. “Oh trust me, it’s most definitely for me.”

Then he’s gone, taking my heart with him as my best friend muses out loud, “You’re in trouble, Tink.”

I’m in so much of a daze from her brother”s words that I can’t help but reply, “Since the day I met you, Wendy.”

The rest of the game passes without incident, and by the time the final buzzer sounds out, I am more than ready for a drink.

Maddie excuses herself to go to the bathroom before we meet up with the boys, so I hang back alone, letting the crowd filter out a little before I start making my way down towards the changing rooms where I know Josh will be coming out.

It’s there that my past catches up with me.

“Hallie?” Someone calls in question, and when I turn I find myself face to face with the first boy I ever gave myself to.

“Joey,” I say by way of greeting, locking eyes with my first boyfriend, who is already dropping his gaze down the length of my body in the same way he used to when we were in high school.

I remember that look and how it used to make me feel, only now I cringe a little as our time together comes rushing back to me in waves, and I realize how shitty he was to me. Hindsight is a funny thing isn’t it?

My stare shifts to the two friends beside him, both of which I recognize from high school, and from the smirks on their faces I’m sure they remember a lot more about me than I do about them. It’s only then that Josh’s words from a couple of weeks ago come back to me.

You should of heard the fucking shit he was saying about you, about what you guys got up to.

A sour taste coats my tongue as I force my stare back to Joey’s and look at him in a whole new light. He’s no longer the boy who gave me sweet kisses and was gentle as he took my virginity. No, instead he’s a bigger fake than I am.

I broke his arm.

My gaze drops to his arm, disappointed to find it now back to its full health as he finally adds, “God, it must have been what? Almost three years?”

It takes everything in me to force a reply. “Yeah, it must have been,” I say tightly, wishing I had just gone with Maddie to the bathroom.

The last thing I want to do right now is reminisce about the guy who I have recently discovered was a bigger prick than I ever knew. Hopefully this whole interaction is just a quick hello and I can get to Josh, head to the party at his house, and down an extra large drink and forget about Joey’s entire existence with my dignity still intact.

“And look at you, you’re hotter than ever, I forgot how gorgeous you are,” he practically drools, once again leering at the body he was the first to touch, making his friends laugh knowingly.

The backhanded compliment does nothing but give me the ick, and panic flares in my gut as he steps forward and reaches out to touch my arm. I guess he also forgot how much people”s touch can make me uncomfortable.

Yet as I brace myself, another hand curls around my stomach, pulling me away from him and back against a hard body. “I thought I told you to stay away from her.” Josh’s voice is like white hot fury in my ear, my entire body melting into the safety of him.

Joey’s eyes flare in a mixture of surprise and fear, before he squares his shoulders and tosses back, “Relax, Peters, we were just talking.”

Those fingers flex against my stomach. “Not to my wife, you’re not, now fuck off back to where you came from before I break both your arms.” His voice is casual, but I can still hear the threat there, and Joey looks at us in surprise.

“Your wife?” he questions, moving his stare back and forth between us, before the shock turns to anger.

It’s only then that I remember something else about our brief relationship in high school. His jealousy over Josh. He couldn’t stand the fact that I had a friendship with someone older and hotter than him, that I always had his back, and never let anyone talk badly about him. It was always a form of resentment for him, and now he sees the real secret I was harboring back then.

When his stare finally lands back on me he sneers, “Well, now it all makes sense, doesn’t it? You certainly played the long game didn’t you?”

My entire body burns with embarrassment and no words come to my defense, not one, because what would I even say?

Thankfully, Josh is here to have my back. “Don’t fucking talk to her, Jockstrap, or this time it won’t be only your arm I break,” he warns, his words nothing but a depraved promise that makes my heart beat even faster for him.

I see his friends looking at us with a worried look in their eye, preparing for whatever is about to go down, but just as Joey looks as if he is going to grant himself a death wish, some other members of the team join the fray.

Archer strolls down the hallway with Alexander by his side, and Daemon on their heels, laughing and joking back and forth with his goalie until he reaches us, no doubt taking in the tension. He doesn’t stop until he reaches Josh’s side, Alexander and Daemon at his back, and when I look up at him, he takes in the look on my face and zones in on Joey.

“Do we have a problem here?” Archer asks, voice just as dark and lethal as my husband’s, in a tone I have never heard from him before, and I have to put my hand over Josh’s to stop it from shaking.

“I’m not sure, Gray,” Josh casually replies, cocking an eye at him, before slowly moving back to Joey. “Do we have a problem here?”

Joey’s friends have already stepped away, not having their friend’s back in the slightest, as Josh’s team came to have his, and when he notices, I see a deep anger there, before he finally relents. “Nope, no problem here,” he replies casually, looking between all of us, before finally settling on only me. “I’ll see you around, Hallie,” he adds, turning on his heel and moving to leave.

“Next time you see her around, keep fucking walking, prick,” Josh calls after him, his hand now harsh and brutal against my stomach as he holds me against him.

We all watch him leave and then before I can even speak, Josh has me spun around, my back hitting the wall, and him against me with his hands cupping my cheeks, forcing me to look up at him. “You okay, Tink?”

I’m already nodding, forcing myself to hold back my tears as I lie, “Yeah, of course I am.”

Josh glares at me, his thumb brushing back and forth on my cheek as he lowers his voice, “Don’t fucking lie to me, Hals, remember rule number two on that list of yours,” he muses, his anger barely restrained in his tone, yet still it brings me nothing but comfort.

“I’m okay now,” I admit in a whisper, and he searches my eyes for the truth, one I can’t give him. “I promise I’m okay, and you know I never lie to you, Peter,” I add, the deceit slipping through my teeth and praying the mask he knows so well holds better than normal.

His stare stays on mine, not relenting for a second, and ignoring everyone else around us, as he holds my gaze and waits for me to break, but I don’t. Not with him here giving me his strength, and I wish I could tell him that the only thing that could break me, is him.

“What’s going on?” Maddie rushes out from down the hallway, storming towards us like a woman on a mission, and when I break her brother’s stare to look towards her, I find Nova right at her back, both of them looking concerned.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I lie, at the same time Josh says, “She saw Joey.”

Maddie looks between the two of us before she questions, “Jockstrap Jerkoff was here?” And all I can do is laugh, breaking the tension between everyone here as Josh laughs too, pulling me from the wall as he takes a step back.

“Yeah, but it’s fine. Josh scared him away with threats to break his arm again, both this time.” I playfully scold, only increasing my best friend”s confusion.

“Again?” Maddie asks, flicking her stare between her brother and I, but Josh ignores her, nodding his head at Archer.

“Thanks for having my back, Gray,” he forces out, and I know it must be killing him inside to get those words out, which is totally obvious to Archer as he grins.

“What are teammates for,” Archer replies with a shrug. “You might hate me, but I’ve still got your back,” he adds, letting his eyes briefly move over to Daemon for a second.

“I don’t hate you,” Josh rushes to say, but Archer just raises his eyebrows at him, so Josh quickly corrects, “Okay so I admit I don’t like you very much, but I don’t hate you.”

He’s such a big fat liar.

Now it’s Alexander who speaks as he collars Archer with an arm around his neck. “Don’t worry, Peters, the weird fucker really grows on you, right Cap?” he asks, turning to Nova who stands protectively at Maddie’s back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nova drawls with a smile. “I hate all of you, especially Peters.” Which only brings a smile to my face, as the others laugh.

Yet Maddie acts offended on Josh’s behalf. “Why do you hate my brother but not me?” she questions, and I already know Josh isn’t going to like his answer when his smile turns wicked and full on intent.

“Because I doubt your brother would let me do all the despicable things to him that you let me do, Princess,” he muses, and Josh’s hand on my hip tightens as he curses.

“Darkmore, I swear to fucking god,” he starts, making the rest of the guys laugh, and I know I need to end this little confrontation between them before it even starts.

“Come on, twenty-two,” I purr, forcing his stare back to mine. “Let’s get to the party so you can get me drunk and do despicable things to me too,” I joke in an attempt to keep up our ruse and distract him at the same time, and to my surprise it works perfectly as his eyes turn from anger to pure heat.

“Oh gross,” Maddie complains. “Come on, Charmer, get me to the party so I can drink away the memory of my best friend saying that to my brother,” she snaps, dragging him down the hall.

“Anything for you, Grim,” he tosses back, following after her like a lost puppy, as the other guys follow him too.

When I look back at Josh he is still watching me carefully, and just as I am about to open my mouth to ask him if he’s ready to go too, he cuts me off. “Careful, Tink, because the next time you proposition me, I might just take you up on it,” he warns before pushing away from me as if that threat didn’t just fall from his lips, and all I can do is watch him leave. When I don’t instantly follow him, he turns to walk backwards towards the door as he calls out with a smirk, “Well, are you coming?”

Fuck. I just might be.

And like a dog to his bone, my feet move towards him without my permission, making him smile even wider.

“This party is going to be fun,” he adds, opening the door for me, and slipping his hand into mine as I pass by.

Even the December chill of the night sky can’t cool me down as I walk with him side by side. “I really need a drink,” I finally croak out, and all he does is laugh.

All in all it was a pretty standard Flyers game that I survived, now I just have to survive the afterparty too.