CHAPTER 1

Artemis

One solar later…

M y throat was hoarse from screaming. It felt as if it were bleeding, the red liquid trickling down my oesophagus, though it could have just been my imagination. My face ached from clenching my jaw, and I was pretty sure I had chipped a few teeth with the force I was using to do so. Pain covered every inch of me, from my skin to my muscles, my teeth and my bones. Inside, outside, it didn’t matter. It felt like my entire body was on fire.

Suddenly and without warning it felt as if I were being torn in two, my front half separating from the back half of my body. I didn’t know if I was screaming out loud anymore. My ears were ringing with white noise from the echo of my screams inside my head. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I was paralysed as every atom that made up my very being exploded and turned to ash after the nanites shredded them to pieces.

I knew it that moment that I was going to die.

I wanted to.

Instead, I sank into the deepest recesses of my mind and disassociated from my physical senses. It was a trick I learned when I was younger to escape the pain of the experiments.

For the majority of my young adulthood to the present I would imagine the most beautiful pair of burgundy eyes, the same pair that would peer at me from over a gas mask. The same pair that would gaze down upon me with tenderness and concern, or a fondness I later began to wonder if I’d made up. The same pair that belonged to the man that left me to flounder in the unknown before putting me right back where he’d helped me escape from.

Now, their previous beauty was tainted and thinking of them only led to a different kind of pain deep within my chest. That ache echoed another, only this time the betrayal was mine. That dark red I was so used to imagining faded and bled into a smooth purple and the single pupil split into a stacked pair. These eyes were from a different man, a man I had come to care for against all my better judgement. A man that was true to his feelings and fought for what he wanted and never backed down from what mattered to him.

This man created an ache in my chest for a completely different reason, one I needed to resolve. I needed to fix the damage I had caused, and though I knew he would probably never love me the way he once claimed all those months ago, he deserved the truth. He deserved closure.

His eyes were now the ones that eased my suffering as the scientists used my body for their own gain. He was my anchor, my saving grace. The simple knowledge that a man like him existed out there, so warm, kind, and wonderful, kept me from giving into the darkness that threatened to take me hostage.

So many times I wanted to sink into that darkness, to let it take me and never let go. To find freedom in the loss of my mind. To find numbness in my senses. Even now the purple clashed with red as they fought for dominance, mingling in the middle to create a marbled maroon. Which would prevail, the good or the bad? Compassion or greed? Kindness or cruelty?

But they weren’t the people I had to think about. I thought of the ones I was here for. Libby, with her once bright, bubbly personality that had been dulled and reformed into a fierce protectiveness. Her beautiful son with his adorable chunkiness and those stunning green eyes that gazed up at both of us with such trust and adoration. He was not yet old enough to understand his predicament. Our predicament.

He wouldn’t be safe from The Program’s intentions forever. We could never let him discover that part of this life.

It was them that kept me from giving into the despair, from letting the insanity win. They could torture me as much as they liked, but I vowed to come out stronger for it. At least when they were working on me they were leaving my family alone.

They were unaware of the monster they were forging. Or how one day that monster would break free from its cage and destroy them all.

I latched onto that anger, the desperate need to obliterate the very evil that had sunk its venomous claws into every inch of my being. I would protect him. I would protect her. I would protect the others that had nestled into my heart.

My mental screams ceased, and I wondered if they could see the grin born of maliciousness spreading across my face. It didn’t matter if they did or not. They would see soon enough that they fucked with the wrong bitch.

I couldn’t wait to watch them burn.

???

Something was stabbing at my cheek, a repeated poke that sent sparks of pain rippling from the point of contact. My skin was tingling and whatever it was made the sensation rachet up to burning levels. It wasn’t as bad as I remembered from before, but it was still uncomfortable enough for me to bat it away.

A smack that sounded like skin on skin echoed throughout the room and was quickly followed by a familiar giggle. I forced myself to pry my eyelids open, the crustiness gluing them closed audible as it cracked. A few pieces fell down my cheek and I raised my hand to rub the rest away while my eyes adjusted to the light.

Two sets of matching green eyes gazed down upon me from above, and despite the aches and the buzz of pain still scraping over my skin I smiled. Libby was here, and her beautiful baby boy was reaching those chubby little arms out to me. I sat up, restraining the groan that wanted to escape for Bal’s sake.

Baldr was the name Libby and I had chosen together for her son. It fit the theme we had used when choosing each other’s names. We used the letter within our identification numbers and the history lessons we had come across in our secret studies to choose our names. I chose Liberty, her name a representation of the freedom we sought. She chose Artemis after the ancient Greek goddess to representation our desire for independence and self-reliance, a quality we would need once we escaped The Program to survive.

In that sense we continued the tradition and chose Baldr for her son after the ancient Norse god. He represented the light of a future worth fighting for, the purity of a new life, the joy of creating that life, and the hope for peace that we would fight harder than ever for now that we had him.

My most recent trip to the lab was brought on by my own inability to have children. Libby was already pregnant with her second child, we found out recently, and the scientists were becoming increasingly frustrated with my lack of progress in the breeding program.

The nanites coursing through my veins were causing the scientists far too many issues. From what I’d overheard in my moments of lucidity the microscopic robots that were responsible for my advanced healing had taken the two-solar reprieve to adapt. Those adaptations made it impossible for the scientists to reprogram them, and they even failed to shut them down.

They had gone rogue, and no one knew what to do about it.

Unfortunately for me, that meant they were performing more and more tests, which left me in my current mess. Since I now healed almost immediately from any injury, they were unable to implant anything else inside of me. My tissues would simply close around the surgical instruments before they could do more than cut into me. So they came up with a new method of upgrading me without needing to cut into me.

Tattoos.

They marked my skin with a special ink they created that contained miniscule copies of their larger inventions. They were much like the nanites. Each tattoo contained millions if not billions of the little robots, and they all contained different programming.

The tattoo on my right arm was the smallest, but by no means the simplest, changing colour to denote a certain need my body required. This was the one the scientists used to determine what to do with me next, and also the one they'd spent any time designing. A cog surrounding a strand of DNA, it was The Program's logo. A physical representation of genetic engineering, though they passed it off as 'medical enhancements'.

All I saw was a their brand on my skin.

The tattoo they just completed was the largest, encompassing my entire body in a single line. Starting from my scalp, it ran down my face, my neck, over my shoulder and arms, rounding every finger. It continued down my sides and over my legs, dipping into the crevices in my toes and up the other side to reconnect at the starting point on my head.

It was unclear what function this one would perform, but in this moment I couldn’t care. The burn had been so intense it was impossible to focus on anything else. I didn’t know how long I had been feeling the effects, but it seemed the nanites inside me were fighting against the new nanites embedded deep into my skin. Even now, despite the pain at a more manageable level, I was still feeling the effects.

‘Gimme,’ I demanded, reaching out for Bal. Libby assessed my ability to hold him safely before finally handing him over, and he clung to me as soon as she did. He may not have been my own child, but this little boy had become my whole world. Our whole world.

He nuzzled his head under my chin and I tucked him under further. Pressing my nose against the crown of his head, I inhaled his sweet baby scent and immediately felt better. Yes, the pain was still present, but it no longer mattered with my sweet boy in my arms.

‘An’ie A,’ he spoke into my neck. Only one solar old, his speech was coming along well, but still wasn’t quite there yet. Either way, I loved the way he butchered my name. Auntie A was a name I never dared to believe I would or could be called, but it was now my favourite.

‘Yes, Bal?’

‘Owie?’

‘No, baby. I’m okay. No more owie.’

I met Libby’s heartbroken eyes over his head as he snuggled in even deeper. I was sure my own eyes expressed a similar heartbreak. Baldr shouldn’t have to live this life, locked away in a concrete and metal prison with evil scientists, watching his loved ones constantly get taken away only to come back unconscious, in pain, and physically different. One time they hadn’t bothered to wash the blood off of my skin before returning me to our room and he’d started using it to paint with his finger.

Libby and I cried in each other’s arms after he’d gone to sleep that night. We didn’t have to speak it out loud to understand that plans were already being put into motion for our escape. This time we wouldn’t have the guards to help us, but we didn’t need them. The Program was becoming complacent again now that I’d been back for an entire solar. They believed they had even more leverage over me to keep me obedient, but in reality they’ve just added more incentive for us to leave.

It was true that without the guards’ help like we’d had before we had to work harder to find a way out, but with so much more on the line this time it just meant we were being more cautious. We were under a time crunch to get out before they took Bal, and the clock was ticking. We had originally intended to escape already, but the scientists took me again right when we were about to run. That delay may have cost us, but I would ensure we would be successful this time.

Plus, this time there were no lying guards to claim they would help only to abandon us instead.

Libby chose that moment to come in closer and wrap us both up in an embrace. Her arms circled us tightly, and she took that as an opportunity to whisper in my ear.

‘We need to leave tonight. I was told they’re planning on taking the children to a new location sometime this week. We’re out of time.’

‘Shit,’ I breathed out. ‘And you’re sure this source of yours is on our side?’ I wasn’t about to let the past repeat itself.

‘Yes, A. I promise, he’s not like T. He’s not even coming with us, he just doesn’t like what they’re doing here.’

I sighed, gently scraping my chin across the top of Bal’s head. His thin hair was soft and tickled my skin, but it was a pleasant sensation. ‘Okay. I trust you. Did he say what day?’

She kissed my temple knowing exactly how much of a concession that was for me to make. ‘No, he just said this week.’

‘How long was I out?’ I asked. I could have been gone hours or days.

‘Two days. They brought you back yesterday but you were catatonic again. We waited for you to wake up.’

I huffed out a breath. While I would have preferred to go with them, I also would have preferred if they left without me if it meant they could be safe. Libby didn’t agree and forced me to promise her that I would never leave her again. It hadn’t worked the first time, and I came back for her anyway. There was no way we were going to separate unless we needed to for Bal’s sake.

‘When?’ I asked. It may have seemed like an open-ended question but she knew what I meant.

‘Tomorrow.’

My quick intake of breath hissed through my teeth. ‘They’re going to check on me now that I’m awake,’ I warned.

‘Exactly.’

I met her bright green eyes and an understanding passed between us. It was likely the middle of the night going by how Bal was tiredly slumped against me, which meant we would get a visit first thing in the morning.

The door was guarded, sure, but it would also be unlocked.

It was now or never.

???

My head pounded and my vision swam like they did whenever I woke up from being drugged. That was my first clue that something was wrong. The second was the familiar surroundings of the room I shared with Libby and Bal, the same cracks in the concrete ceiling I woke up to most mornings.

The third was the anguished cry that came from somewhere else in the room.

I got up as fast as I could, ignoring the way the room spun, and rushed over to where Libby was clawing at the closed door.

‘What’s wrong? L, what happened?’ I asked, my voice scratchy and panicked.

‘He’s gone ,’ she wailed, fingertips dragging down the crease of the door and leaving a bloody trail in their wake. She must have been trying to pry it open for a while now.

Her words took a few moments before they registered in my brain, and then I turned back to the room and frantically looked for Baldr. I tore the covers from the beds, looked beneath them, and even checked the bathroom facilities for any sign of him.

Nothing. He really was gone.

They must have drugged us through the vents in the night and snatched him while we were out.

I turned back to watch Libby where she was still desperately trying to get the door open. She was screaming and crying, completely hysterical, and her legs finally buckled under the terror and despair. I had seen her in an agonised state many times – too many times to count – but never like this. Never this hopeless and despondent.

Fury like none I had ever felt before burst inside of me. There was no build-up, no warning, only a fierce need to protect my loved ones and destroy the evil that dared take them from me and cause such a reaction.

It burned through my veins and poured out of me in waves of physical heat that singed the blanket by my feet. The scent of burning fibres drifted into my nose and caused me to look down. That was when I saw my skin. Instead of the typical olive tone dotted with the occasional freckle, what I found was a metallic grey spreading from my newest addition to my tattoo collection.

It was still slowly encompassing my flesh when the door suddenly swung open with enough force to fling Libby across the room. She landed with a heavy thunk at my feet, her breath coming out in a whoosh as it was knocked from her lungs.

I watched as if from a different perspective, like I was no longer inside my own body, as she slumped to the ground in defeat and sobbed. Her tears stained the floor a darker grey. When the guards swarmed into the room followed by a single scientist, the one I wanted to kill above all others, I saw red.

Still, my body refused to move. It was as if I were paralysed or frozen in place. I was no longer in control of my body, but my eyes still tracked him as he approached. In my periphery I took note of the array of weapons aimed directly at me. Oddly, they ignored Libby.

It was then that I noticed the multitude of darts sticking out from all over her body. She was no longer crying, her body still when moments ago she was shaking and jerking from her sobs. They’d knocked her out.

Good. That would make what happened next easier.

I held his eyes, refusing to look away. He might have been a skinny bastard, but despite the range of weapons in the others’ grasps he was undoubtedly the most dangerous man in this room.

‘Subject A-173, you will cooperate or we kill the bitch, the foetus in her belly, and the boy,’ he said. Though his tone was firm and commanding, I knew it was a bluff. They needed them both too much to dispose of them. I was the only one here in any real danger.

‘Liar,’ I said, and my voice was unrecognisable with how deep it became with lethal intent.

‘Subject A-173, you will cooperate,’ he tried again.

I stood taller, lifted my chin a little higher, and glared him down as I stood over Libby’s prone form. ‘Doctor Lucias Demari, I will not.’

If I hadn’t already been looking at him I never would have noticed the almost imperceptible widening of his eyes. The scientists never revealed their identities to us lowly subjects, nor did they ever provide us with a name to refer them by. They wore their own masks, though theirs were of the medical variety rather than the gas masks the guards wore, so we didn’t even see their faces.

I had just revealed to him how little power he had over me, how little control he had over his subjects, and that I knew more about him that I should.

He hid his reaction well, however, and met my gaze head-on as he aimed a gun at Libby’s head. ‘Cooperate or she dies.’

‘You won’t do it.’

Calling his bluff seemed to only infuriate him further, and he did something I never expected him to do. With the baby growing inside her, Libby was valuable to The Program more than ever, but Demari didn’t seem to care when he pulled the fucking trigger.

My protectiveness surged when I watched as if in slow motion as his finger pressed down and the sound shot from the barrel a moment before I saw it flash. I moved without thinking and faster than I ever had before, placing myself between the gun and Libby. If anyone was going to die today it would be me.

I was stupid to think they needed us alive despite my disobedience. I never should have played with fate like this, especially when it came to Libby and her unborn child let alone leaving Bal to suffer through The Program like we had.

I deserved this.

Contorting my body to cover as much of my best friend as possible, I closed my eyes as tight as they would go and waited for the fatal hit. And waited. And waited…

‘What…?’ came Demari’s response, his stupefaction something I had never witnessed from him before. Usually so calm, collected and stoic, any ounce of emotion was inconceivable to him.

But I was just as confused.

Glancing up towards the man who had just tried to murder my pregnant best friend I found him recharging the gun to shoot another round. It was quick and he pulled the trigger again before I could move from my frozen position. I watched as the plasma shot from the open end of the barrel directly towards me and once again prepared myself for the hit.

Except it didn’t even make it to me. It was as if there was some sort of invisible shield blocking the attacks. I could see the impact, and I thought maybe I could feel it each time they collided but I was too numb to be sure. It was fascinating to see the way the plasma exploded across the invisible shield, like rotten fruit splatting against a window.

I stayed still, contemplating what was happening as he continued firing shot after shot. His frustration grew until he was red in the face with a vein pulsing dangerously in his forehead that I hoped would burst.

When he realised he was getting nowhere with the gun he fell back behind the wall of guards and started barking orders. ‘Don’t just stand there you idiots, knock her the fuck out!’

All at once they mobilised, shooting their darts at me from every angle and I lost sight of Demari. They failed to hit whatever it was that halted the plasma, but still nothing came close to penetrating my skin. I had now been completely consumed by the metallic substance, and I lifted a hand to twist in front of my face as I took in the strange new development.

Had their latest experiment backfired on them and provided me the perfect shield to prevent anything from piercing my skin? Whatever was happening was working in my favour, so I decided to unravel that mystery at a later date. For now, it was time for me to strike back.

I waited for them all to run out of ammunition. Each and every one of them gawked at me, their eyes darting between me and their surprisingly useless weapons. A twisted sense of satisfaction washed over me as their predicament dawned on them, the fear in their eyes like a drug.

These were the men and women that had caused so much pain. They had taken innocent children and destroyed them from the inside out, moulded them into their own vision like clay or pieces of mismatched puzzles. They had taken our identities, our bodily autonomy, and have forced themselves upon in in countless ways. They had locked us up and turned us into monsters.

A grin stretched across my cheeks that I imagined looked rather macabre and psychotic, but their reactions only made it grow wider. I bared my teeth at them, the predator finally released from its shackles.

This monster was finally biting back.