CHAPTER 17

ARTEMIS

‘D o you have your holo-tab?’ I asked Libby for the umpteenth time. She’d proven to me that it was still safely within her possession enough times that I shouldn’t have had to ask, but the anxiety over leaving her again was overruling any sense. The persistent whisper in the back of my mind kept insinuating that she’d lost it and I’d be leaving her without a method of contact.

She pulled it out of the jumpsuit’s front pocket and waved it in front of my face, making sure I watched as she placed it safely back inside, zipping it closed again. ‘I’ve got it, A. Don’t worry about that.’

I glanced between her and the miserable Dave Junior who was a quivering mess beside her. Every ounce of my being told me it was wrong to leave them, but there was no other way. Junior couldn’t come with me because he was just a baby and The Program would be more than eager to get their filthy hands on him.

I was just going to have to get back as quickly as I could.

I knelt in front of him, spreading my arms wide in an invitation for a hug. He took it, leaping inside my embrace and rubbing his soft cheek against mine. His snout nuzzled at my neck, tangling himself in my now shoulder-length hair. I giggled, the action tickling me, and he nipped at my shoulder as if he wanted to latch on and never let go.

Me too, buddy.

‘I’ll be back soon,’ I promised him as I pried him off. It physically pained me to do it, and from the whining that emanated from his chest he felt the same way. When I put him on the ground, he bent his legs at the knees as if preparing to jump right back into my arms, but I levelled him with a stern look.

‘No, Junior. You need to stay here and be good for Libby until I come back.’

It was as if I’d ripped out his heart and stomped on it, and his answering whimper brought out the same feeling in me. Hurting him like this was torture, but I simply couldn’t take him with me.

The crack in my heart widened even further when he turned and ran off into the trees, his thundering footsteps disappearing into the forest as he headed in the direction of the cave. He accidentally knocked a few of the women over on his way past, and they shot disgruntled glares in the direction he’d disappeared.

Libby wrapped herself around me in a constricting embrace and buried her face into my neck, mirroring Junior’s previous motions. I turned my own face into her hair to hide the fact that tears were falling freely from my eyes like a leaky faucet I couldn’t turn off and squeezed her right back.

She wheezed out a groan of pain, and I immediately gentled my grip. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ I said, still holding her to me but allowing her to breathe.

‘Take care of him for me, yeah?’ I asked of her again, my voice wavering with barely contained emotion.

‘If he doesn’t eat me first,’ she joked with a watery smile.

‘I’ll call as soon as I’m up there,’ I promised.

‘You’d better.’

She pulled away from me then and headed back to the cave, taking the same path Junior had used to run off. She didn’t look back, not because she didn’t want to but because we both knew she wouldn’t be able to let me leave if she did.

‘You sure you can get our babies back?’ asked Francesca, her tone uncharacteristically small. She was an enigma, her reactions and emotions typically inconsistent, but even when she was quiet she had a silent strength to her that told you she was a force to be reckoned with. Now, she looked small and frail. Afraid.

And it wasn’t just her.

All the other women had gathered to see me off, including Karmella and Driselle. They carried their babies close to their chests as if protecting them from even so much as a falling leaf, but they’d dragged themselves out to the clearing with the rest of us specifically for this moment.

They were putting all of their faith in me, even if they didn’t entirely trust me just yet. We were still working on building that foundation, but it would go a long way to help when I brought their children back.

‘I’ve got this,’ I answered, addressing them all.

‘How long until you’re back?’ Grace asked from where she and Christine were clinging to one another.

‘I don’t know,’ I admitted. ‘But what I can say is that I’ll do everything in my power to bring them all back safely as soon as I can. I’ll keep you updated through Libby and the holo-tab.’

‘Good luck,’ whispered Christine, and Francesca stepped forward to give me a quick hug. It was slightly awkward, since we weren’t exactly close and we’d never so much as touched before, but it was still a great comfort and a boost in confidence that she was trusting me with this.

‘See you soon,’ she said, then walked away. The others trailed after her one by one until I was left alone in the clearing with nothing but the ship.

I shoved my emotions into a box in the back of my mind and boarded the ship, pressing the button that closed the hangar door behind me. It was a small vessel, at least compared to The Carina. It had plenty of space for travelling in comfort with an array of rooms that ranged from the kitchen and cafeteria, entertainment spaces, and a variety of bunks. Some were an almost carbon copy of the bunk I had stayed in on The Carina, while others were more spacious and extravagant, clearly meant for the more important passengers.

Despite the size difference, this ship was still large. While it only had three levels compared to The Carina’s dozens, it was large enough to carry all the children alongside Reece and Adara. There was more than enough space, and not for the first time I wondered if this was one of The Program’s ships they’d used to set up on this planet.

I made my way to the cockpit where I settled into the pilot’s seat. Straps exploded from it in a flurry of material as soon as I sat, holding me securely in place and I had to fight back the panic that resurfaced from being held down. Most of my triggers from my time in The Program were from being shackled, physically restrained, or paralysed. I hated not being able to move.

I pressed the button on the end of the right armrest and the straps reverted back inside the chair. Knowing I had the option to remove them myself went a long way in reducing my fears, and I relaxed into the chair once again.

I didn’t react as badly when I found myself strapped in one more time, though I still didn’t like it. Now, though, I was able to focus on starting up the engines. I’d already plotted the course for the journey, adjusting the controls so my destination wasn’t notified to my incoming arrival.

The ship’s navigation systems predicted the trip to take around three days, but when I pulled up the plan it seemed that Nova Station had moved a significant distance since yesterday. Now, the trip was only predicted at around a week.

That meant they were moving farther from us, and I wondered if that had anything to do with the facility here. Were they abandoning their efforts here? Where were they taking an entire military base?

I shook those thoughts from my brain, though I made a mental note to inform the women when I talked to Libby. Right now, I needed to focus on getting those kids back and freeing the people I cared about that I’d left behind. Maybe I could cause enough damage to Nova Station in the process that I could delay them, or even derail their journey entirely.

Either way, my focus needed to be on getting there first.

The ship lit up with a gentle hum as I started it up, and within the next few clicks I was rising into the air and gaining speed.

I didn’t have to do much. The autopilot took care of most of the job. All I had to do was input directives and the ship did the rest. Soon enough, I was blasting through the planet’s atmosphere and into the cold vastness of space, leaving the unusual planet and everyone on it behind.

For a brief moment before the ship’s magnets kicked in to enforce the artificial gravity, my hair floated serenely around my head as if I were drifting in still waters. But then the whir of the magnets increased with a jolt to the ship and it fell back down in a mess over my face.

I checked the autopilot and the ship’s navigation systems one last time to ensure everything would be smooth sailing before I pressed the button to release myself from the chair. As soon as the straps rescinded I felt like I could take a deep breath again and ended up yawning from my rushed attempts.

Without waiting another tick, I practically smacked the button on the console that connected me to Libby’s holo-tab and waited with bated breath for her to answer.

At first there was nothing, the connection stalling, then buffering… and finally, after what felt like a lifetime, Libby’s beautiful features filled the screen.

‘You made it,’ she breathed, her relief almost tangible despite the distance.

‘I made it,’ I confirmed. ‘I’m on course with an estimated arrival in seven days.’

I expected her to be excited, to take the forward momentum of the mission as good news. Instead, she looked as if she was going to be sick.

‘Artemis…’

‘What?’ I asked, immediately alert. ‘What is it? What happened?’

She blew out the air from her lungs on a long breath, her cheeks puffed, and when her eyes collided with mine they were brimming with guilt. ‘It’s Dave Junior…’

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. ‘What’s wrong? Is he okay?’

‘A, I’m so sorry, but I can’t find him.’

It was like time stopped, my heart along with it. ‘What do you mean you can’t find him? ’

He wasn’t here when I got back to the cave. The girls and I have been out searching this whole time but there’s no sign of him.’

My breath hitched, not wanting to believe what I was hearing. ‘Dave Junior’s… gone? ’

Then, as if I’d summoned him with the sheer force of my despair, the little sneak jumped right in front of the screen and blocked my view of Libby.

From my side.

‘Oh, you naughty boy!’ I exclaimed, tugging him into an embrace that was probably too tight, but in that moment I was just so glad he was safe.

‘He’s on the ship?’ screeched Libby, but I heard a few of the women cheering behind her. I wanted to believe it was because they learned he was safe, but I was sure it had more to do with their eagerness to be rid of him. He had a habit of overprotective tendencies. It wasn’t just me he shielded. He also liked to hoard food, including everyone else’s.

‘What do you think you’re doing here, Dave Junior? You’re supposed to be safely tucked away with Libby back home!’ I chastised, but he was having far too much fun slobbering all over my face, neck and chest to pay attention to my berating. Before I knew it, I was completely soaked through and desperate for an actual shower.

Libby cleared her throat to get my attention, and I struggled to move Junior’s oversized head out of the way so I could see.

‘On that note, I think I’m going to leave you two to it. I’m glad you’re safe and the ship’s still holding up. Please stay that way.’

I scoffed, mockingly offended. ‘You doubt me, bitch?’

Her grin was wide, the first one to truly reach her eyes since Bal was taken. ‘Never.’

I softened immediately. ‘Love you, L.’

‘Love you too, you goob.’

And then the line disconnected and I was back to staring at a blank screen.

A wet nose nuzzled at my face again, bringing me back to the brand-new dilemma I’d acquired. ‘What am I going to do with you, huh?’ I asked him, scratching at a sweet spot in between his two left ears.

His only response was to curl up against me and release his version of a contented purr, his heavy weight a comforting presence. For something that had just put himself in immense danger, he seemed pretty damn pleased with himself.

There wasn’t anything I could do about it now. I’d just have to find a way to keep him safe by hiding him on board while I completed my rescue mission. Until then, I was going to take solace in no longer being so alone.

But despite my new source of entertainment, I still needed to use my time on the ship wisely.

Now that I had a significant amount of free time on my hands for the duration of the journey, I was going to have to fill it with some experiments of my own. My competence with my newest abilities was juvenile at best, but I was also going to have to play around to see if there were any other changes I needed to be aware of. There was never any knowing what effects the new implants would have on what currently existed inside me, or vice versa.

But in order to do that, I needed to replenish my energy stores.

I headed to the kitchen and snagged myself a Nutri-Bar, then after a moment’s deliberation snapped up another one for Junior. ‘I hope you don’t mind tasteless and chewy, because that’s what you just signed up for, buddy.’

I peeled off the wrapper and set it on a plate, where I then placed it at Dave Junior’s feet. I patted him on the top of his heavy purple head, scratching him in the centre of his four ears. ‘Eat up.’

He took a tentative sniff then reared back to look at me with big, red, accusing eyes.

I snickered at him. ‘You would’ve had all the meat you could ask for if you’d stayed behind like you were supposed to,’ I reminded him.

Then the cheeky little shit rolled his eyes at me, sneered at the food, took one lick, then pushed it away with a single extended claw. He was clearly spending more time with Libby than I’d realised if he was picking up on her attitude. I’d have to have words with her about that.

I took a large bite out of my own Nutri-Bar, chewing slowly and groaning as if it was the most delicious thing I had ever eaten in my life. It was a whole production since these things were like eating congealed dust, but with food so inconsistent within the confines of The Program’s rules I had stopped being picky at an extremely early age.

If Dave Junior was going to follow me everywhere I went, then he’d need to learn that same lesson, too.

When he pushed his plate away again in the same disgusted manner, I chose to leave him with it while I practiced controlling my newfound abilities.

The first test I conducted was my ability to bring forth the metallic skin shield at will. As it turned out, that was as simple as flexing a muscle. When I focused on it, it covered my entire body within a few ticks. I was even able to cover specific parts of my body while leaving the rest of me bare.

It felt strange at first, too, like thousands of tiny pinpricks biting at my skin.

I recalled how the darts bounced right off of me, and decided to test those limits, as well. I searched the kitchen for something to use, settling on a meat cleaver dangling from a hook above a block filled with more, albeit smaller, knives.

Junior watched curiously from across the room, but he jumped and made a panicked sound of distress when I brought the blade down on my wrist as hard as I could.

A clang sounded throughout the room, followed by a snap and a crunch. There lay my hand, still perfectly attached to my body while the meat cleaver’s handle had snapped into pieces and the blade was crushed into an arch-shape that matched the circumference of my wrist.

Junior whined his unease, checking out my arm to ensure everything was okay. When he realised nothing had been cut off he sent me what I could only describe as a look full of reproach before turning his back on me, laying on the floor and covering his eyes with his front paws.

‘No one told you you had to watch,’ I muttered, earning an unimpressed huff from him.

Placing the now-useless cleaver to the side, I rummaged through drawers until I found a meat tenderiser, curious how that one would hold up against me. As it turned out, not well.

On and on it went, and I even went so far as to shoot myself with a laser gun I found in a hidden compartment within the cockpit. Nothing penetrated the metallic covering, and I ended the session without even a dent.

Dave Junior followed me from room to room, though he kept his distance as if afraid I would suddenly turn on him and attack him the same way I was attacking myself. He heaved a sigh of immense relief, practically collapsing on the floor when I put the gun down and stopped hunting for anything else.

Sadly for him, I wasn’t finished with my little experiments.

Next up was the forcefield I’d formed alongside the metal casing. I started off small, pushing it just beyond my reach and using small objects on the table as a reference. It was still just as invisible as before, but I succeeded in extending my reach and flexing the ability.

I performed similar tests from the inside, proving that it was just as impenetrable as the metal, aiming the gun and pressing the trigger. Just like I remembered, the plasma went splat against the surface, spreading out before dripping down and dissipating.

I learned that the more power I exerted, the more I needed to replenish my energy. I would need to carry some of the Nutri-bars with me at all times in case of emergencies. I would definitely need extra lining my pockets for the mission. My luck lately had been far too consistent and beneficial, and I didn’t trust it. Something bad was going to happen, soon, and I needed to be prepared for the worst.

I suspected it had something to do with Bromm. He was most likely a hallucination I’d conjured because I missed him so much. I missed the others, too, but I wasn’t certain any of them would want to see me. I’d lied to them for the entirety of our fleeting time together. Sure, it wasn’t anything personal against them, but that didn’t change the fact that I’d pretended to be someone and something I wasn’t.

They knew me as Arthur Mercer, but Arthur Mercer didn’t exist.

A deep-rooted loneliness that had plagued me for the majority of my life burst forth to the forefront of my emotions. Libby and Bal were my everything, but they couldn’t give me all that I craved. I once thought T could, until he’d let me down and proved me wrong. I’d pretended Bromm could, but he was attracted to a male, no matter what scenarios my mind conjured up.

Adara was the only person besides Libby who had accepted me as I was, vagina and all, but she was in a relationship with the captain.

There was no one else.

Needing to see Libby’s face, I connected with her holo-tab again.

She popped up immediately, concern etching lines around her eyes. ‘Artemis? What’s wrong?’

The smile I gave her was watery at best. ‘Nothing. I just missed you.’

The lines smoothed out and were replaced by an equally watery smile. ‘I miss you too, A. I can’t wait for you to come back to me.’

‘Me either,’ I admitted freely. ‘Being apart is just wrong.’

‘Well, what have you been up to in the past few turns since we last spoke? Bored yet?’

I smirked over at where Dave Junior was trying to gnaw through the Nutri-Bar, far, far away from me. ‘Just practicing my new abilities.’

‘Any luck?’ she asked, her interest genuine.

‘Yup! Easy enough to control. Need to keep myself stocked with food, though.’

‘That’s good news. Any new developments?’

‘None so far.’

Someone called her name in the background, and she turned towards them before facing me again. ‘Hey, I have to go. We’re making some furniture for the cave. Trying to make it a little more homely, you know?’

‘Liberty, come on! We need another pair of hands!’ a different voice called.

My smile suddenly felt forced. ‘Go on. Looks like you’re needed.’

‘Okay. Thanks A. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?’

‘Definitely. Love you!’

‘Love you, too.’

And then she was gone.

The loneliness hit even harder than before. I was happy she was finding her place amongst the other women, but I felt even more like an outsider than I did before. She had something in common with all those women that I didn’t. Not only were they all pregnant, but they all had children already. I never would.

A crushing sensation pressed against my chest, and I found it suddenly hard to breathe. Noticing my distress, Dave Junior rushed over to nudge his wet nose against me, yet another whine catching in his throat over his concern for me today.

I tugged him close and held him tight, burying my face in the short fuzz on his back.

‘At least I have you, Junior. You’re all mine, right?’

He nuzzled against me and swiped his rough pink tongue over my cheek in a long, drooling lick as if in agreement. I still wasn’t completely certain he comprehended my words, but in moments like these I knew that at least he understood my actions.

That night I fell asleep with him tucked up against me under the covers, and though the loneliness persisted, he succeeded in filling in a little piece of it.