35. Avery

Isat confused as Nathan approached the house with Cameron beside him. I arched an eyebrow as the two walked into the living room, where I’d been watching a movie. I stood and crossed my arms over my chest.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Cameron had a duffel bag over his shoulder and a look of defeat in his eyes. “Hey, Coach K. You and Coach P live together?” he questioned. “Are y’all dating?”

“What? No. No.” I shook my head. “I needed a place to crash after the whole wedding situation. Coach P was just helping me out.” I narrowed my eyes. “What’s going on here?”

Nathan patted Cameron on the back. “Cameron, too, needed a place to crash for a short period of time. Cam, you can take my room for the night.”

“Oh no, Coach P. I’m fine sleeping on the couch or something. I don’t want to put you out.”

“Two doors down on your right,” Nathan said, gently guiding Cameron down the hallway. Cameron gave me a broken grin before walking off, leaving me there, perplexed.

“What’s going on?” I whispered to Nathan, taking a few steps closer to him. “Is he okay?”

“I doubt it, but he’ll be fine. I found him walking home in the rain, picked him up, and his dad had a full-blown meltdown. He was screaming at Cameron. Even took a few swings at him. I was going to call the cops, but Cam begged me not to. He said he didn’t want his dad to get into trouble.”

“That man has been a loose cannon for a while now.”

“Yeah. Makes me worry that he might abuse Cameron when no one’s around, but I could tell that he really didn’t want me to call the cops on his father. He said he couldn’t lose his dad, too.”

That tugged at my heart. I knew Cameron’s mother, Erika. She was a stand-up woman and went above and beyond to support her son. When I heard she had passed away, my heart broke for Cameron. He was a mama’s boy through and through. I knew what that was like. Losing my mom was a defining moment for me. Even though I was young, it still shaped the person I’d become. I figured loving someone so much and then losing them was why I didn’t allow myself to fall so deeply with others. Why I didn’t connect with many people. The fear of loss was very strong within me.

“I feel like I should leave,” I said, glancing in the direction that Cameron headed. “You’re his coach. That’s one thing. I’m his coach and his teacher. I don’t want any rumors to start swirling about the situation.”

“It’s fine. He’s exhausted, and he’s just going to sleep tonight. I’m going to sleep on the couch. No one will know come morning when I take him to school. It’s all good.” He must’ve noticed my unease because he placed a hand against my shoulder and squeezed softly. “I promise it’s going to be okay, Avery.”

I nodded, somehow trusting that he was telling the truth. I didn’t know when I began to trust his words so much, but lately, they felt like a warm blanket of comfort resting over me whenever my mind began to overthink.

“I should check in on him. Get him some dinner, maybe,” I said.

“I’ll handle the food. You go check on him.”

I did as I was told and walked down to Nathan’s bedroom, where Cameron was staying. I knocked twice on the open door.

Cameron was sitting on the edge of the bed, fiddling with his hands. He looked up and pushed out a tired smile. “Hey, Coach K.”

“Hey. Can I come in?”

He nodded.

I walked over and grabbed the chair from Nathan’s desk. I pulled it over to Cameron and took a seat in front of him. “Coach P was telling me some of the stuff that’s been happening with your dad.”

He blew out a breath and waved me off. “Oh, yeah. It’s no big deal. Dad just had a bad night tonight. Nothing major. I actually don’t even know why Coach P thought I should come over here tonight. It’s all good.”

“It’s okay if it’s a big deal, Cam. You don’t have to downplay it.”

He laughed and shrugged. He didn’t look at me, though. His head stayed low as he tapped his feet repeatedly against the carpeted floor. “Nah. Everything’s fine. Dad just needs to sleep it off tonight. He’ll be better in the morning.”

I reached out a hand and placed it on his forearm. “Cam.”

He shoved off my hand and stood. “No, you know what? I should probably get back home to him. I bet he’s worried about me. He didn’t mean what he did, Coach K. That’s not my dad. My dad would never…” His voice cracked as he began pacing the bedroom. His hands sat on top of his head. “My dad would never say that kind of shit to me, you know? My dad would never hurt me. My dad would never piss himself and pass out from being a hot fucking mess. My dad would never hit me. No. Not my dad.” His voice began to rise as the reality of his situation built more and more with each word that stumbled from his tongue. “My dad would never call me a dumbass for fucking up on a math text. My dad would help me. My dad would coach me through it. My dad wouldn’t lose his job. My dad wouldn’t miss our mortgage payments. He wouldn’t snap at me for forgetting to pay the light bill for him. He wouldn’t push me. He wouldn’t fucking push me, Coach K. He wouldn’t hit me because I’m stupid.” He smacked the side of his head. I cringed and shot to my feet. “He wouldn’t hit me because I struck out.” He smacked himself again. “He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t…” he said, smacking himself repeatedly as the tears began to stream down his face.

I didn’t know what to do other than to rush over to him and grab his arms to stop him from hitting himself. I pulled his arms to his sides as he tried his best to go back to beating on himself. My heart broke into a million pieces as he began to break down completely. “That’s not my dad, Coach K. I don’t know who that is, but he’s not my dad. Because my dad wouldn’t…he wouldn’t…” His breaths weaved in and out as the reality of his world began to seep in. How his father was currently far from the man Cameron once knew.

I wrapped him in my arms as he began to crumple. Each sob that ripped through his system made my eyes water. I held him so tight, not only so he wasn’t able to hit himself, but so he could also feel me. So he could realize he wasn’t alone, even as he cracked.

After a while, his body relaxed against mine, his buckling knees sending him to the floor as he cried. I fell with him, still holding on, still knowing that he needed the reminder that if he went down, I’d go with him.

“Why did she do that, Coach K?” he sobbed, grabbing the fabric of my hoodie and resting his head against my shoulder. “Why did she have to die? She ruined everything. She ruined fucking everything, and I’m so sick of missing her. I’m so fucking pissed that I have to miss her for the rest of my fucking life,” he cried.

I held him tighter because I knew that feeling.

I knew it too well.

I knew it too deeply.

The feeling of resentment for a loved one dying. The feeling of abandonment. The feeling of emptiness.

No child should’ve lost a parent at such a young age. It was unfair and cruel of life to allow such things to happen.

I noticed Nathan appear in the doorway. His beautiful brown eyes were packed with worry and concern. He started to walk toward us, but I shook my head and mouthed, “He’ll be okay.”

I meant it, too.

If I knew anything about healing, it was the fact that sometimes one had to fall apart before they could fall back together again.

I held Cameron that night for as long as he allowed me. It could’ve been forty-five minutes. It could’ve been an hour. I didn’t know. I wasn’t counting. I was just holding him. Letting him know that he wasn’t alone.