25. Nathan

“Ithink you should take the lead today,” Avery told me one afternoon before practice. “Let the guys get a feel of Coach P in his prime.”

I didn’t hate the idea. Truthfully, I was a bit shocked that she offered us such a position. Though lately it seemed as if Avery and I were not only in the same book with one another, we were finding our way to the same page. Sure, sometimes she wrote in cursive, and I didn’t know what the hell was going on with her, but for the most part, we were becoming more and more of a team.

Especially when it came to baseball.

“I’d love that,” I said. I gave her a slight head nod. “Thanks, Coach.”

She nodded back. “I’m going to stay back and do some paperwork before our game this weekend. Have fun out there. I’ll meet you all soon.”

Not only was she letting me take the lead today but she was also giving me no reins. That felt fucking fantastic.

Over the past few weeks, I’d been getting to know the guys more and more. It was clear to me how different they all had been and how they each needed different coaching techniques from me. Some needed a gentler hand, while others needed to be shoved to reach their highest potential.

The one I connected to the most was Cameron, though. Something about him reminded me of myself as a kid. Not only that, but I could also relate to him having a drunk dad who showed up to games and embarrassed the hell out of him. Cameron was a good kid and a fantastic ball player. He could easily go to the pros with the right opportunities presented to him. He was a beast during practices and a natural-born leader. It was clear the rest of the guys looked up to him, and he made sure to help his teammates in any way possible.

It was just when he got on the field during actual games that he froze up, which was something I was looking to break him out of. Cameron Fisher suffered from stage fright. Call it nerves, call it pressure, call it whatever you want to call it. All I knew was that he lived too much in his head and not enough in his heart.

I used to have the same issue as him, which made me the perfect individual to help him break out of that mindset. Then when the scouts came to the games—and they would, due to a few calls I’d made—they could see how talented Cameron and the rest of our players had been. If I did anything for the team, it would be opening them up to the best opportunities for their lives.

During practice, I got the guys warmed up in the facility before shooting them out to the field to run a few drills. As all the guys started heading out to the field, I called out to Cameron.

“Cam, can you hang back for a second?” I asked.

He glanced toward me and raked his hand through his messy blond hair. “Yeah, Coach P?” he asked, jogging over to me.

I clapped my hands together. “Footloose.”

Cameron arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“Footloose,” I repeated as I started hopping up and down. “You need to embrace Footloose.”

“I have no clue what that means.”

“I know. There was a point when I didn’t either. When I was younger, I used to be just like you. I used to overthink every play when it came to game days, and I’d get in my own head about it.”

Cameron huffed as his face turned slightly red and his hands formed fists. “I know I’ve been messing up, Coach P, but I don’t want you to bench me and?—”

“Cam. That’s not why I’m talking to you right now. I’m talking to you because you have a big game in a few days, and I know you can crush it. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to help.”

His embarrassment settled away slightly as he shook his head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just get in my head a bit, and I can’t seem to focus out there.”

“I know. Footloose.”

“Why do you keep saying Footloose?”

“Because that’s what got me through my tough period when I was struggling. I was about your age when I had scouts coming out to watch me play. I always froze up on those days and would have some of my worst games. It wasn’t until I met a coach who gave me this technique that changed everything for me.”

“The Footloose technique?”

“Yeah. It’s where you take a moment and dance.”

He laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m not shitting you, Cameron. And if you go back to watch some of my old tapes, you’ll see me doing it on the sidelines before I went up to bat. Even in the Major Leagues. It’s shaking off the pressure that is building inside you. It’s finding out that no matter what, life isn’t that serious. It’s a game, yeah, but it’s not the end of your life if you don’t win or lose.”

“Tell that to my dad,” he murmured.

“That’s the thing about Footloose,” I explained. “You don’t have to explain it to anyone else but yourself. Just try it, will you? If it doesn’t work, fine. But if you do it, realizing that no one’s opinion of you matters out there except for your own, then maybe you can get more out of your head and more into your heart. That’s where baseball exists, Cam.” I patted his chest, over his heart. “We play from here first. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

“Footloose,” he mumbled to himself. “And you just dance?”

“Hell yeah,” I said as I started dancing around like a complete fool. “You let loose.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “That sounds silly.”

“That’s the whole point. It’s light. It doesn’t weigh you down.”

“And a coach taught you this technique?”

“The best coach in all of baseball. I promise you. If you allow yourself to be a complete fool, you also allow yourself to achieve greatness.” I patted him on the shoulder. “Now, get out there with the guys. They need their leader to push them today before the game.”

He nodded and started jogging out to join the rest of the team.

I hurried behind him, hoping that he might take my advice.

As the practice continued, Avery stood next to me with her whistle hanging around her neck and a clipboard close to her chest. As the guys performed a play to perfection, I noticed the small grin that fell on Avery’s face.

“You’re pretty good at this, Nathan. The guys listen to you,” she told me.

“They like you more.”

“Well, no shit. I’m amazing.”

I snickered. “I think we can win this next series against Hamilton High. I think we’re going to take it home.”

“I sure hope so. The guys are working harder than they ever have. I would love to have a win under our belt. Then we can even make it to the postseason playoffs. Could you imagine that?”

“With you as their coach, absolutely.”

She rolled her eyes. “Stop with the flattery. It’s annoying.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “This does feel good, though, being back around the game. Coaching. For a while, I thought about coaching at a big college level. I got a few offers, but I wanted to help get the farm back on its feet. I felt as if my time was better used here.”

“The farm seems to be doing really well.”

“It is,” I agreed. “But now I have the best of both worlds. Baseball and family.”

“A big college-level team would be a lot more exciting than this little high school,” she said.

“Yeah, but would that big college-level team have a coach who called me a dumbass on the regular?”

“Don’t be silly, Nathan. There are plenty of coaches around the world who would love to call you a dumbass,” she joked. She blew her whistle and started for the field. “Kevin! Run that play again, but step more into the pitch. You almost got it. Let me show you.”

I smirked at her as she walked away to help the players.

Sure, maybe there would be coaches who called me a dumbass, but none would do it as insultingly as she did. There was something so sweet about hearing Avery Kingsley call me a dumbass. It held a certain level of prestige to it.

After practice,Avery and I headed home to find a note on the front door from my mother.

Made you and Avery a pan of enchiladas that you can bake for dinner. Left it in your garage fridge.

-Mom

Avery smiled at the note. “You boys are so spoiled.”

“The perks of living on a family farm. If you don’t want to cook, someone else probably has dinner on the stove.”

“I bet my mom would’ve been the same way,” she mentioned.

That caused me to pause for a second as I was about to unlock the door. Avery hardly ever talked about her mother. Even when we were kids, the topic didn’t come up much. I figured it was because some things were too hard to talk about.

“You miss her a lot, huh?” I asked as I unlocked and opened the door.

She nodded. “Every single day.” She walked into the foyer of the house and began to take off her shoes. “Do you miss your dad?”

“No,” I said without hesitation. “But I do miss the idea of a father.”

She smiled a comforting type of smile that felt far from judgmental. “I know how tough it was for you when he passed. We didn’t talk much about it, seeing how things between us ended abruptly, but I know how harsh he was toward you. You not missing him is completely understandable.”

“But it comes with a level of guilt.”

“Losing a parent always comes with a level of guilt. Even when you’re young.” She placed her duffel bag in the front closet before taking mine from me and doing the same. We were moving into a routine with one another after practice, and it felt so…good. “Do you want kids someday?” she asked.

“Yeah, I do. I just hope that I do better than him when it comes to raising all my kids. I’d want to love each kid equally, unlike my father.”

“He wasn’t as harsh with your brothers?”

I shook my head as I walked to the kitchen to get water. “No. Mostly me. Maybe because I was the oldest. Maybe because I wouldn’t allow him to snap at my brothers. It’s hard to say.”

“I read an article once about how no child has the same parent. Each one experiences their parents in a different light based on personalities, the time period, and the situations at hand. It’s like how my dad has a completely different relationship with Yara, Willow, and me.”

“Yeah. I just hope I don’t have any of my father in me to pass on to my kids.”

Avery shook her head. “You don’t, Nathan. You’re your mother’s child, not your father’s. And for what it’s worth, you’d make a great dad.”

“How can you know that?”

“I see you with our team. You treat everyone as individuals and care for them as if they were each the center of your universe. That’s what a good parent would do. Treat each child as a unique individual.”

“Those kids mean a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to them, too.”

I poured two glasses of water and slid one across the island toward Avery. “We make a good team, don’t we, Coach?”

She shyly grinned and nodded. “We do all right.” She took a sip of water. “I’m going to go get the enchiladas from the garage fridge. I’m starving.”

“Sounds good.”