15. Avery

Iwoke with a headache.

I wasn’t sure if it was from the number of tears I’d cried or the abundance of red wine I drank. It took a moment for me to remember whose bed I was in and what had happened the day before, but once it all came rushing back to me, I felt an emptiness in my stomach.

I pushed myself up from the bed and walked over to the floor-length mirror.

My eyes were puffy from crying so much. It looked like wasps had stung my face due to the swelling. If I had any ounce of concern left in my body, I would’ve panicked at the sight of my face, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything, really.

Moving over to the bedroom door, I opened it, and as I began to walk out into the hallway, I paused when I found a sleeping Nathan sitting beside the door. I tilted my head in confusion at the sight of him leaning up against the wall. His chest rose and fell slowly as I stood there, baffled.

“Nathan,” I said, “wake up.”

He didn’t move.

I nudged him with my foot. “Nathan. Wake up.”

Nothing.

“Nathaniel!” I shouted.

With the shout, he shook himself and opened his eyes.

“What?!” he quickly remarked, dazed and confused. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and tilted his head up toward me. “Oh. Good morning.”

“What are you doing?”

“Waking up.”

“On the floor.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you waking up on the floor?”

He pushed himself up to a standing position and stretched his arms to get the knots out of his body. “I must’ve fallen asleep sitting next to your room.”

“But why were you sitting next to my room?”

“I wanted to know that you were okay. I wanted to stay next to the room until you stopped crying, in case you needed me to come in. I must’ve fallen asleep here.”

I grimaced even though my tired heart wanted me to smile. “That’s stupid.”

“I’m stupid.”

And sweet.

So, so very sweet.

“Can I cook you breakfast?” he asked.

“I don’t want your old eggs.”

He grinned. Ugh. That smile. “I ordered some groceries last night. I figured you might be hungry since you didn’t eat dinner.”

My stomach rumbled as if it knew exactly what he was asking. “Sure. Okay.”

I moved into his living room and curled into a ball as he walked into the kitchen. I peered over at him, confused about what to say or do as he cooked breakfast for me. So I figured it was a good time to check my text messages.

Which wasn’t the best idea.

Forty-three new messages from Willow, Yara, Tatiana, and my father.

Daddy’s texts were very sweet.

Dad

Just checking in, baby girl. I hear Nathan’s looking after you. Always liked that boy. Call me when you’re ready.

Dad

I love you, Avery.

Dad

I love you so much, baby girl. If you need me, call me. Day or night.

Dad

I love you.

Leave it to Daddy to make my eyes almost tear up from his love. I knew he told me he loved me repeatedly because he knew how much my heart was hurting, and he knew how hard it was to say those same words to myself. Sometimes those three words made things a little easier to digest. Sometimes those three words from Daddy were the only thing that made me able to get up each morning and keep going after this thing called life.

A father’s love was just as important as a mother’s. I was lucky I still had Daddy around to give me his love.

Tatiana’s messages were packed with love and a bit of revenge.

Tatiana

I love you, Ave. Let me know if you want Wesley to go missing. I’ve listened to enough murder mystery podcasts to know how to get away with murder.

Tatiana

Call me when you’re ready. I’ll stay in the loop with your dad and your sisters. No pressure. Just love.

Willow and Yara’s group chat messages, on the other hand, were a little more chaotic. I didn’t expect anything else, truthfully.

Yara

Avery! Where are you? What’s going on?

Willow

I’m sensing that something major happened, but I can’t pinpoint it.

Yara

Do we need to kick Wesley’s ass? I’ll kick his ass.

Willow

I’m more of a lover, not a fighter, but I will whoop someone’s butt if they hurt you.

Yara

WHY DID NATHANIEL PIERCE JUST CALL ALEX AND SAY YOU’RE WITH HIM?!

Willow

OH MY GOSH, WHAT?! ARE YOU TWO HAVING A RUNAWAY brIDE MOMENT?

Yara

IS HE YOUR RICHARD GERE?

Willow

DID YOU TOUCH HIS PENIS? WHAT IS HAPPENING?! CALL US NOW.

Yara

Like right now! RIGHT NOW, AVERY HARPER KINGSLEY!

Willow

I knew the two of YOU were twin flames.

Yara

Don’t make the group chat hippie-dippie, Willow. You know hippie-dippie keeps Avery away from engaging.

Willow

That’s because she has an avoidant attachment style.

I do not!

Okay, I did.

Avoidance was my favorite hobby. I truly wished I could’ve avoided having my mental breakdown last night, too.

Yara

Great, now Avery will never come back to the group chat. You can’t just call people out like that.

Willow

Sorry. I met a therapist on a hike in Japan last month, and he told me all about attachment styles. Like you, Yara. You were previously an anxious attachment style that slipped into a secure attachment style after Alex and you got together.

Yara

What’s your style?

Willow

Well, therapist man said I was an avoidant, too. So I blocked him.

I snickered lightly, shaking my head.

Yara

We love you, Avery. Call us.

Willow

We love you so, so much, sister. Please. Call us.

I began to text back finally, first Daddy, letting him know I was okay. Then Tatiana. Then my sisters.

Avery

I love you two, too. I’m okay. Just processing. I’ll be back in Honey Creek on Monday night.

They both instantly texted me back as if they’d been waiting by their phones.

Yara

We’ll be here with hugs.

Willow

And wooden baseball bats if you want us to take out Wesley’s kneecaps.

Avery

I thought you were a lover, not a fighter?

Willow

Yeah, well. I go to war for my sisters. I know if it was the other way around, you’d take out someone’s kneecaps with a bat. Love you, big sis.

Avery

Love you, too.

At the same time, two messages came through.

Yara and Willow

BUT NATHANIEL PIERCE?!

I chuckled again and placed my phone down.

“Talking to your sisters?” Nathan asked from the kitchen as he whipped eggs in a mixing bowl.

“How did you know?”

“Because you laughed a few times. They were always able to make you laugh, no matter what.”

I smiled at that thought. It was true. Whenever I was at my lowest, my family had a way of making it seem as if the sky was no longer falling. And if the sky were falling, they’d toss themselves beneath it and hold it up as long as they could before it could crash over me.

“They want to kill him,” I confessed. “Or, well, at least take out his kneecaps.”

“With a metal baseball bat?”

“They said wooden.”

“Oh.” He grimaced as he kept whipping those eggs. “I would’ve gone metal.”

A lazy smirk fell against my face, but it faltered quickly. “Thanks again for letting me crash here for the weekend. I needed to get away, and this worked out very well.”

“Not a problem. And I know you probably thought I was shitting you, but you can stay with me in Honey Creek, too. I have a whole house to myself.”

“Nathaniel,” I scolded. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Why is that a terrible idea? It’s a whole house. You won’t even see me if you don’t want to. Or we could go over stats for our players and all the baseball stuff. Or, again, you can not see me at all. Whatever you need, I got you.”

“It’s a terrible idea because, well, I hate you, remember?”

Oh, the lies I told out loud.

He smiled the smile that made me want to blush. “I know, and I love your hate, but I want to make sure you have somewhere to land while you figure everything out.”

“I can get an apartment.”

“You shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’ll be fine alone.”

His stirring stopped, and he set the bowl down on the counter. He walked over to me, pulled his coffee table closer to the couch, and took a seat. His brown eyes locked in on mine, and he shook his head. “You shouldn’t be alone, Ave.”

A nervous chuckle escaped my lips. “Why would you be concerned with…” The pieces started collecting in my head as to why he was so deeply concerned with me being alone and why he had slept outside my door last night. I started to recall the conversation the night prior, and a pit of nervousness slammed straight into my stomach.

I took a deep inhale and released it slowly as I started fidgeting with my hands. I stared down at them because looking into his eyes felt too intense.

“Listen, Nathan, I was drunk last night.”

“Drunk people tell the truth.”

“Yeah, but they don’t mean to. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”

“You’re not always fine.”

Yes, you’re right.

I shrugged. “But I’m a good actress.”

“Not with me, Coach. I see you.”

“I know,” I whispered, tugging on the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “I always hated that you could see me.”

“I kind of loved it myself.” He clasped his hands together and tapped his feet against his living room rug. “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I care.”

“Well, stop caring, Nathan. Seriously. This is ridiculous. You’re my coworker, not my friend.”

“We could be friends, though,” he offered. “And roommates.”

“Nathan.”

“Avery.”

“Why are you pushing this?” I questioned. “Why are you being so damn pushy about this topic?”

His shoulders rolled back, and the corner of his mouth twitched. There was a heaviness in his stare that made me want to know his thoughts. What it was that was eating at him so much.

“You said you were extremely sad, Ave. That scares me.”

“Nath—”

“Mickey Ray Phillips.” He cut in. “Did you know him?”

I tilted my head and nodded. “Yeah, of course, I knew him. He was one of the best baseball players in the world. Wasn’t he your…?”

“Teammate, yeah. And one of my best friends.”

My stomach knotted up, knowing where this was going. Mickey Ray was one of the best Major League Baseball players of our time. He was one of the happiest-seeming individuals out there, too. I remembered when the news came out of his passing. It was shocking to hear that he took his own life. Nothing about Mickey Ray seemed to point to him being the type of person who would’ve taken his own life. Then again, what type of person took their own life? It was all types, all people, all levels of success.

Still, it stunned me.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t follow Nathan’s career. He was one of my favorite players even though I hated him. I could never hate his talent. Studying how he and Mickey played was like studying the greats. It was clear that when those two were on the field together, they jived extremely well. Though I didn’t know they were best friends. I’d only known what I saw on the television screen and during press conferences.

“I’m so sorry, Nathan,” I expressed, placing a hand on his shaky leg.

He smiled, but it wasn’t his normal, happy grin. It dripped in sadness.

“The night he passed away, he asked me to hang out with him. It was after a big win, and some of the guys were going out to celebrate. Mickey normally joined us, but he was in a weird mood. I figured it was because he didn’t perform his best during the game. Sure, we won, but Mickey was hard on himself. He’d always go deep into his head when he had a bad game. But to me, on the other hand, a win was a win. And his worst game was my best. I wanted to celebrate.” He grimaced and brushed his thumb against his nose. “I told him not to be a buzzkill and to come out with us. He asked me to stay in with him. And I didn’t…”

“Nathan, what happened wasn’t your fault.”

“Wasn’t it, though? Looking back on it, he was reaching out to me. He was asking me to be there for him, and I couldn’t get my head out of my own ass for the life of me. I was so egotistical that I couldn’t see past myself to realize my best friend, my best fucking friend, was suffering. He had suffered for a long time, too. And I didn’t see it. I should’ve seen it.”

“But still, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I hear you, Coach, I do. But I can’t believe that. Because he asked me to stick around that night. He pretty much begged me not to be alone. And that’s what he was—alone. They found him alone in his hotel room. That still haunts me. So the idea that you’ve been having dark thoughts…Avery…I’m sorry. But I can’t leave you alone.”

My tired, broken heart slowly began to beat for him. Maybe that was the exact second when my long-lived hatred for Nathaniel Pierce began to fade away. I had to admit, it was easier to hate him when he wasn’t around. Yet when he was around, Nathan was the easiest person in the world to like. Especially in his older age.

“We’ll figure out my living situation so I’m not alone,” I swore to him. “I can’t stay with Yara because they have a baby on the way, and I don’t want to put them out. And Willow’s bus house is a little too small. And living with my dad…” I shivered at the thought. “Even though I love him, I can’t live with my dad. He has one too many women who like sleepovers.”

“So you’ll stay with me.”

“Maybe,” I said. “Let’s just make it through this weekend. How about that?”

He smiled—his real smile. The smile that almost made me smile, too. He held a hand out toward me. “Promise you’ll really consider it?”

I shook his hand. “Promise.”

He placed his hands on his thick upper thighs and pushed himself up to a standing position. “Okay. Let me finish your breakfast. Then we can figure out what to do for the day.”

“Are you going to helicopter-parent me this whole weekend?” I quipped.

“I am going to helicopter-parent you this whole damn weekend,” he replied with a nod.

Oddly enough, I didn’t hate the idea of him looking after me.