27. Cooper

Cooper

I feel awful. My heart has crumbled. I promised myself I wouldn’t let this happen, and then I went ahead and totally let it happen.

I didn’t even see it coming. Everything was great. Beyond great. It was everything I could have ever wished for. But I feel nothing but melancholy when I get out of bed this morning.

I don’t grab my phone right away. I know I’ll be far too tempted to check it to see if Maverick called or messaged me. I’m a weak, weak man because it takes all my willpower not to and force myself to go into the bathroom.

After taking care of morning business and splashing water on my face, I grab my phone quickly and try to act like it’s no big deal, not looking at it as I head into the kitchen. David and George are there, of course, waiting for me.

Their faces are solemn as they watch me carefully. I walk past them and grab a cup of coffee, still trying not to look at my phone. I don’t need to look at my phone. I can wait a little longer.

I can do this.

“You two can stop watching me like I’m going to melt down. I’m fine,” I say, surprising myself with how even my voice sounds. I take my coffee to the couch and sip it quietly as David and George watch me from the kitchen.

I don’t like the silence. It’s making me even more anxious.

I look over at them, trying like hell not to snap. “What?” I finally ask with an obvious edge to my voice.

David walks into the living room, sitting next to me on the couch. “Are you okay?”

I hate how calm and sympathetic his voice sounds right now. I can’t take the pity. They know how badly I’m hurting. They know that another one of my relationships has totally failed. It’s what always happens.

I fall apart, and they pick me back up. We’ve been friends for a while, and I do the same for them. None of us are great at relationships, though I think David may have actually given up trying at this point. He has a different man in his bed every week and seems pretty content.

Maybe I could try that. Just not caring at all. One and done. Thanks so much for the orgasm, now get out.

I shake that thought away instantly, though, because there’s no way I could ever do that. Not that I judge David at all. It’s just not me.

I want a relationship. I want a long-term commitment and a family. I want to go out to dinner with my boyfriend, and eventually my husband, without having to hide how much we care about each other.

And no matter how much I wanted that with Maverick, last night showed me how unlikely that is.

And I just don’t know if I can handle it.

“I’m fine,” I say hastily as I put my coffee down on the side table and finally unlock my phone, instantly seeing a ton of messages from Mav. Missed calls and even a voicemail.

I ignore them all. My heart can’t take it.

I even see a text from Axel, checking on me, but I can’t look at that either. I just decide to check Twitter—or whatever the hell it’s called these days—and instantly see Maverick’s name trending.

My stomach plummets, and I gasp.

“What’s wrong?” George shuffles to the couch, sitting on the other side of David and leaning over.

I click on it and show them both a picture of Maverick—it’s from last night—the same electric blue tie he had on with his tux is in the picture. But he’s not alone. He looks pretty damn cozy with America’s It girl—Pheobe.

“No,” David says and then looks at me. “They are so not back together.”

I scan the caption, which seems to be implying they are and quickly read through the comments. Most saying her new relationship must be in trouble and she ran right back into Maverick’s arms.

I mean, who the hell wouldn’t?

“They look beautiful together,” I say, my chin wobbling.

“No,” David says again, taking my phone and locking the screen before placing it on the table. “He was here last night. I don’t know when that picture was taken, but he was here.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, trying to process it all.

“He came here, distraught and wanting to see you. He’s so damn sorry about what happened, Cooper. I told him to give you space, but his face was not the face of a man who just got back with his ex. It was a man who wanted you back and couldn’t see anyone else.”

I bite my bottom lip, trying like hell to be logical. He loved Pheobe once, but from our conversations, he was very much over their relationship. I don’t think he’d want to go back to her, but I just left him there without any explanation.

“What if I drove him back to her? I mean, I left without hearing him out.”

“No,” David says again in a matter-of-fact way that’s driving me crazy. “He wasn’t thinking about her last night at all. Trust me.”

I nod, feeling numb, because I know he’s right. Maverick isn’t back with Pheobe. But I don’t know if he’s really with me either.

It’s just horrible timing.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I say honestly, and David puts a hand on my shoulder, sighing softly. It’s clear he knows it too.

George knows it also, if his face is anything to go by. “I know. This really sucks.”

“It does,” I agree and wipe at my tears because my heart is aching worse than it ever has in my life. “Why can’t it ever just be easy?”

David hugs me to his side and kisses my temple. “I don’t know. I wish I did. You deserve a nice, easy love, Cooper. You really do.”

I don’t think anything will ever be easy with Maverick.