7. Taylor

CHAPTER 7

TAYLOR

"What's that look for?" Taylor asked, still floating on that last compliment Damon gave him. That he was special. It was easier to believe something like that when it came from people who weren't related to him. But then Damon got a weird look on his face. Did he regret saying it?

"I'm sorry. I—" Damon took a drink. "I'm trying not to think of Nash, because I'm out with you and you deserve my undivided attention. But I was thinking how lucky I am to have him. He let me have it the other night after I acted like a jerk."

Taylor dragged a fingertip down the outside of his glass, playing connect the dots with the drops of condensation. "It's okay to think about him, you know. I know you two are a thing. It's not like your brain comes with a switch and you can turn your thoughts off. He's important to you, so of course you think about him. And you're with him, so we'll probably end up talking about him sometimes." And maybe if this thing between them went further than an apology date, or whatever this was, they'd have to sit down as a unit and discuss rules and boundaries.

Damon agreed that it was okay to think about his boyfriend, at least a little, when he was on a date, and before Taylor could think too much about the way that was odd, but also not…the food arrived.

"This looks sinful." Taylor picked up his fork and immediately speared into the macaroni and cheese. The dish was piping hot, and there was a layer of cheese on top with some crunchy breadcrumbs. The cheese was gooey and stringy and perfect, and Taylor blew on the bite before sliding the fork into his mouth.

"Holy fuck," Taylor said around a mouthful of food. "That's heavenly." He'd eaten a ton of macaroni and cheese in his lifetime. It was one of his favorite foods. Had Damon known that? The sauce was creamy and rich without being too heavy. And the crunchy breadcrumb topping put it over the top. Taylor could marry this food.

While he was obsessing about the macaroni and cheese, Damon had cut his burger in half. "Try the burger next."

Taylor put his fork down and took half the burger. He had to admit, as far as first dates went, this was a good one. Usually Taylor felt awkward. Between not knowing what to say or how to act, he'd had better luck with hookups than dates. Hookups were simple. Far more straightforward than a date. Hell, you didn't even have to like your hookup. They only had to be suitably hot and passably tolerable until the deed was done.

Taylor tried not to think too much about how easy it was to be with Damon, just the two of them. Or the way he watched Taylor with twinkle-eyed interest and his wide, contagious smile.

The moan that slipped from Taylor's mouth was embarrassing as hell, but worth it to see the expression on Damon's face. He'd dreamed of having Damon look at him like that. It made Taylor feel powerful when men looked at him that way, like he was the only thing in the world worth wanting. Taylor's head spun with the realization that this was happening. This was a date, and he was on it with Damon.

"This is amazing," Taylor said.

Damon snatched a fry off the plate and popped it in his mouth. "I knew you'd like the food."

"I meant being out with you. On a date." Taylor knew he was blushing, but he didn't care. "Is it weird that it's not weird?" he asked before he took another bite of the burger. He'd definitely be going back for more of that macaroni and cheese, but the burger was addictive.

"I don't think so. I mean, we know each other already. I hang out with your family all the time. I think that it could be weird, but I'm glad it's not."

Taylor took a drink of his virgin mojito. He didn't want their whole date to be about Nash, but there were things he was curious about. Like how they ended up together and whether they'd shared anyone between them before. Taylor wanted to know all the rules of their dynamic.

"You can ask things, you know."

Taylor pretended to scowl. "Don't do that. It's creepy."

"Then don't wear your thoughts on your face like that." Damon stole the macaroni away from Taylor and took a bite.

"How is Nash seriously okay with his boyfriend being on a date with some other guy?" Taylor asked.

Damon arched an eyebrow at Taylor. "Probably the same way that you're okay with being on a date with a guy who has a boyfriend. You were told ahead of time and given the opportunity to make an informed decision."

Taylor gaped at Damon before conceding, "That makes sense."

"And for the sake of transparency, I hope it's okay if I tell Nash about our date."

"Of course. I don't want there to be secrets between us." Except for the little one that Taylor would keep to himself. His crush on Nash didn't need to be talked about.

"Neither do I."

"How did you and Nash end up together anyway?"

"Proximity, at first," Damon answered easily. A fond smile tugged at his lips as he recalled the story. "We'd carpool to fire night and then not see each other until the next fire night. Or sometimes I'd run into him at the diner. A bit before Jonah and Spencer started seeing each other, we just… I don't know." Damon's eyebrows knit together. "We kind of started hooking up. It was one of those things where you reach for someone and you tell yourself it's because they were convenient, but it was because they're safe."

Damon exhaled and took a drink. "Sorry. Wow, that was a bit much, I think."

"Nash is safe." Taylor wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but the next thing out of his mouth was definitely a question. "Why are you two sneaking around?"

Damon laughed. "It started because we weren't sure what we were doing. And why risk invoking the wrath of the Bennett brothers if we didn't have to. If things went sideways, we didn't want anyone to feel like they had to choose sides. And then I think we kept it up because it's fun to feel like you have this secret that no one knows." Damon stopped, but Taylor could tell from the way he furrowed his brow that he wasn't done.

"Plus," Damon continued. "With us being open to the idea of a poly relationship, I think it made it easier to entertain the possibility of seeing other people if there was less to explain to everyone else."

Taylor could not imagine Nash and Damon casually discussing men they might like to bring into their relationship like they were talking about the weather or what they had for dinner. Instead, he said, "I thought maybe it had to do with your family."

Taylor didn't have all the details, but he knew Damon wasn't close to his family.

Damon shrugged. "I stopped letting them be a factor in my life a few years ago."

"What happened?" Taylor asked, greedy to know more about Damon.

"Grandpa was this old-school Hollywood heartthrob. No, you haven't seen anything he's in. He did a few movies before he met my Gran and she convinced him Hollywood was full of sinners. They did the long-distance thing for a while, but then Gran got pregnant. Grandpa married her and left his movie career behind. Grandpa died not long after my dad was born. So then it was just my gran and my dad. Gran married a pastor of a little church. Dad worships the ground his mom walks on, but she and I don't see eye to eye."

"Because you're bisexual?"

Damon snorted. "Bisexual she can take, as long as I only date women. And the fact that I'm an atheist is just one more thing for her to natter at Dad about. And you know the saying—shit trickles downhill. I made a decision a few years ago to have less to do with my family. We're basically no contact. They are who they are, and I am who I am. They're not willing to change and neither am I."

"Good. Because I happen to like you exactly as you are."

Damon ducked his head. "Thanks. Eat your macaroni." He shoved the dish back to Taylor.

It felt intimate in a fun kind of way to share food the way they were. It wasn't anything Taylor had done before and it helped make the night feel even more special.

"So, are you going to join Milo on stage sometime?" Damon asked as Taylor was taking a drink and he almost choked.

"No. Tempting, but I'll pass. The limelight is not for me. I will forever be in his debt for all he's shown me, and I will gladly cheer from the sidelines, but I don't see myself getting on stage anytime soon. Or ever."

"Your new look suits you. I'm sorry if I didn't say so sooner. I was trying to not let everyone see how hot I thought you were, and I think I was a bit of a bastard actually."

Taylor waved his comment off. "I get it. Trust me. If there's anything I understand, it's not wanting people to take one look at you and guess your secrets." Taylor leaned over the table. "In case you're wondering, that means you're forgiven."

Damon's smile was dazzling. Taylor had always thought so, but rarely had he been the sole focus of it. It made his head spin with giddy joy.

Taylor let the conversation drift to more fun things. Lighter topics like fire night playlists and where Taylor's plant obsession had come from.

Damon insisted on paying the bill, and they walked to the roller rink. Taylor was close beside Damon, and he thought of how it might feel if Damon took his hand. But the walk was short and Damon wasn't a mind reader, apparently.

The roller rink wasn't as loud as Taylor expected it to be, but it was definitely a time warp back to the 90s. The carpet had a weird confetti pattern to it and everything was fake wood and chrome. Even the music was retro. That part Taylor didn't mind so much. As Taylor was growing up, his dad had an eclectic taste in music that he passed on to all of his kids. Everything from current hits to classic rock, and even some golden oldies tossed in for extra flavor.

Damon rented them each a pair of roller skates and they sat side-by-side while they stuffed their feet in the skates and tied them up.

"This place is kind of great," Taylor told him.

"It's all fun and games until someone breaks a wrist."

Taylor put his hand to his chest and pretended to be worried. "Don't jinx us, Damon. I, for one, plan to be the very best amateur roller skater there ever was."

Taylor got to his feet and wobbled unsteadily when one of his feet rolled forward without permission. Thankfully, he didn't fall over, but the night was young.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Taylor laughed as he wobbled again.

Now Damon was on his feet and this time Taylor didn't have to hope Damon would take his hand or wonder what it would be like. Damon reached out and laced his fingers together with Taylor's.

His hand was wide and strong, and a little sweaty. But so was Taylor's. Damon led him out to the wooden oval where other people were making slow, lazy laps going counterclockwise. There were a few people who were showing off their moves, but mostly everyone seemed to be relaxed.

Taylor stopped at the edge of the wood oval. "And you've never done this before?"

Damon shook his head. "Nope."

"But you're not half as wobbly as I am." Taylor still felt unsteady on his feet, but Damon looked completely comfortable.

"Come on. It can't be hard." Damon let go of Taylor's hand and stepped onto the skating surface. "See?" he said, sounding all proud of himself. But when he turned to face Taylor, he went down on his ass like a sack of potatoes.

Taylor stood and laughed as Damon collected himself up off the floor. "I suppose I asked karma for that one." He straightened up and held his hand out to Taylor. "Do you trust me?"

"With this? Not even a little. But what the hell." Taylor took Damon's hand and tentatively stepped onto the surface.

Roller skating was a lesson in humility, Taylor found out. There were little kids who were better than he and Damon were. But he doubted anyone there had more fun than the two of them as they laughed and picked each other up off the floor. Eventually they got the hang of it, and even though they weren't moving fast by any stretch of the imagination, they at least were able to stay on their feet.

And Damon held Taylor's hand the whole time.

It shouldn't mean as much as it did. It was probably the most chaste thing you could experience on a date. But Taylor had been on few dates that approached what he would call successful and no one had wanted to hold his hand. Hookups were more interested in getting their hands on other parts of his anatomy.

Would he ever admit that Damon was the first person who'd wanted to hold his hand in public? No, probably not. Not only did it make him feel pathetic, like some dumb kid who still put too much importance on silly things like romance, but it was also something he'd secretly wanted. Someone willing to be in public with him and hold his hand. And it was special, even if it made him feel foolish.

Even if Damon didn't stay interested in him, he'd always have the memory of what it felt like to be wanted. In public. Where people could see.

They stayed for another hour, making slow circles and managing not to fall too often anymore before Damon suggested they leave. As they exited, Damon took Taylor's hand again and they walked to Damon's car.

"I hope you're not too cold for ice cream," Damon said, turning up the heat in his car.

"I'm never too cold for ice cream." Taylor bit his lip to keep himself from saying the cheesy line about how Damon could warm him up. So far, their date had been sweet, and although there was definitely an undercurrent of sexual tension, Taylor didn't want to rush Damon into anything.

Damon took them through a drive-thru for ice cream and then parked in the lot under one of the lights. The whole evening had been perfect, so why was he slightly disappointed? Damon had held his hand and shared his food. And it had all been so romantic that Taylor should've been pleased down to his bones about how things were going. Damon had been a perfect gentleman.

And that was the problem. Taylor liked that Damon was sweet and funny and kind. But he'd never been able to get that kiss out of his head. The passion that existed between him and Nash came through in the way they'd embraced each other, like there wasn't such a thing as close enough.

Damon had kissed Nash like he was going to die without it.

And he'd held Taylor's hand.

Damon walked Taylor to his door because, apparently, Taylor was getting the full Damon-the-gentleman treatment. Taylor dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He turned to bid Damon a goodnight and tell him he had a good time. He'd drop a line about how they should do it again.

When he turned, Damon stepped into his space. Taylor went still, like a deer in headlights, as Damon reached for him. His heart was frantic, but the rest of him was calm, as if fearful moving too fast would break the spell and make Damon change his mind.

But he didn't.

He stepped in, his free hand coming to rest on Taylor's waist, and tugged him even closer. Then Damon's mouth descended on his. Taylor grabbed onto Damon to steady himself because his knees were suddenly devoid of any strength.

Damon tasted like mint chocolate chip ice cream, and Taylor swooned when his tongue eased its way into Taylor's mouth. It made him hold tighter, suddenly mad with desire. Need pulsed in him and he was hard as steel, but before Taylor could do something like wind a leg around Damon and pull him closer for a nice, quick dry hump at his door, Damon pulled away.

"I want to take you out again," Damon said to him, frustratingly putting more distance between them.

"I want that too." He wanted more than that. He wanted to invite Damon inside, for starters, but he had a feeling that he'd only be met with a soft sort of not yet -type rejection. Taylor could live with waiting. For a while.