10. Taylor

CHAPTER 10

TAYLOR

For their second date, Taylor convinced Damon that an afternoon picnic would be a good idea. Taylor had secretly been hoping for a little making out…or maybe a lot. A lot of kissing would be better. That's all he'd been able to think about ever since Damon kissed him goodnight.

The weather wasn't overly cooperative, though. A cold front had blown in, and a bitter wind threatened to ruin their good time. Damon, however, didn't seem worried about it. He drove them out of town to a nearby lake that was deserted in the current weather conditions.

Taylor looked at his weather app and frowned. "It wasn't supposed to be this cold. We're going to freeze our asses off."

"Don't worry." Damon unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car as Taylor watched him from his warm spot in the passenger seat. Damon went around to the trunk and popped it open, then came around the passenger side. His arms were full of not just blankets, but camping chairs too. Damon set the chairs up side-by-side, facing the water. He looked over his shoulder at Taylor and waved him over.

Taylor got out of the car, carefully carrying the picnic basket he'd packed and joined Damon at the shore. "This is amazing."

"I figured the weather might suck. Here, let me take this and you can get comfy." Damon took the basket from Taylor and let him get tucked into his chair. The blanket Damon had brought was a thick, homemade quilt. It was made of denim and had to weigh half as much as Taylor did. Embroidered daisies decorated it, giving the heavy material a delicate look.

"Oh, my God, this blanket is magnificent."

"My aunt made it for me when I was a kid."

Taylor ran his hands over the top, looking at the stitching and the fabric. "It's still in great shape."

"Most of the time it's too warm and weighty."

"It's perfect." Taylor wanted to live under that blanket forever. The weight of it made it feel like a hug. Like one of those full body, can't move, can't breathe kind of hugs.

Damon got situated under a blanket of his own and popped the basket open. "What did you make?" He pulled out a container. "What's this?"

"Macaroni and cheese wrapped in phyllo dough and baked in the oven. Crispy on the outside, gooey in the middle."

"That sounds fabulous." Damon wasted no time getting into the container. He passed one of the macaroni and cheese pastries to Taylor and took one for himself. Taylor watched as Damon took a huge bite, consuming almost half of his pastry at once.

"Holy crap, this is the best thing I've eaten all week. Maybe ever."

"How was work this week?" Taylor asked. He knew Damon worked in a pharmacy, but that was it.

"Insane, actually. Sometimes certain medications are in short supply, so we didn't get our shipment. Sometimes we can make do with generic brands but not always. Most people are understanding."

"But there's always that one customer, right?" Taylor could empathize with that. Most of the time the people who came into the diner were awesome, but every so often they got someone who was determined to have a bad time.

Taylor shivered when a gust of wind slammed into them. "I hope you plan on warming me up."

"Of course." Damon smiled, but only sort of. It was the kind of smile someone gave you when they were trying to appease you. Surely Damon wasn't still nervous, was he?

Taylor decided to let it go and enjoy their date. It wasn't every day that he found someone who wanted to do nice things for him. Like bring thick, warm, clearly sentimental blankets to the lake to keep him warm because he was an idiot and had wanted a picnic date.

"Thank for this, by the way," Taylor said. "I know we could've eaten in the car. Or anywhere warm, but this is nice." He didn't want to tell Damon that this was on his romance bucket list. Most people had bucket lists of things they wanted to do and they were filled with grand adventures. Travel and adrenaline junkie activities. Skydiving would never appeal to Taylor.

"I've never gone on a date like this before." Damon's admission surprised Taylor at first. But then he remembered that this was Damon. Life of the party. Everyone's best friend. "Usually people want to go drinking and dancing. Parties and clubs and concerts. It's hard to connect to people who don't want to spend their time the way you want to spend yours. Who have different values and shit, you know."

"I know exactly how you feel. Everyone I knew in high school went off to college and university and they were all on my ass about going with them. How can you survive without college parties, right?" Taylor rolled his eyes. He dug into the basket and pulled out more food. "They thought I was like deprived or something because I didn't want to go to university and spend my weekends getting bombed with them. But I've never been deprived of anything, and that's what they don't see. They don't see how good I have it here and how much I like my life."

"You do have a pretty kickass family," Damon said softy.

Taylor looked out at the lake. It wasn't a calm day and the wind was making the water choppy. But there was something breathtaking about watching the subtle power of nature. How easily it could move water with nothing but a bit of wind. The changes it could make, cycling through the seasons again and again, undeterred by the passage of time.

"I don't remember her, you know." Taylor almost never talked about his mom. When he was a kid, it had been hard for him. It was like missing a tooth and poking the space where it should've been. And then sometimes he was okay and didn't notice, and then he'd feel awful when he did notice.

"You look like her a bit," Damon said.

Taylor whipped his head up, tearing his gaze away from the water to look at Damon.

"Jonah has shown me pictures."

"There's not many." Taylor looked back out at the lake. Warmth curled through him when Damon reached out and took his hand and Taylor gave it a squeeze, like a silent thank you. "It's not exactly good date conversation. Sorry."

"It's not awful, either. Did I ever tell you that my grandfather had a short career in Hollywood?"

"You did, but you never told me what he was in or what he did after. Is he in anything we can watch?"

Damon laughed softly. "He was a hit for a few years, but then he left. Just stepped out of the spotlight one day and never looked back."

"Did he ever say why? To his family, I mean."

"I think he would've liked you for standing up for what you wanted, despite your peers telling you that you were missing out on."

For the first time in his life, Taylor felt like someone understood him. The distance between them made it awkward to go in for the kiss, but Taylor did anyway. To keep himself from falling all over the picnic, he had to keep his eyes open and that's why he was able to see the shock and panic in Damon's face a moment before Taylor received the most wooden kiss ever.

He sat back in his chair and stared at Damon, who at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself.

"Are you into me at all, Damon? Or is this some sort of elaborate prank?"

"No! I am. I really, really am." Damon squeezed Taylor's hand and despite the fumbled kiss, Taylor squeezed his back.

"Then what's the deal? You kissed me goodnight on our last date. And I'm not a virgin or anything, so you don't need to protect my virtue. I can assure you that ship sailed a long, long time ago."

"It's just…weird, okay?"

Taylor yanked his hand out of Damon's. "You have about ten seconds to explain that."

Damon's eyes went round like saucers and he flinched like he had to physically stop himself from flinging his body at Taylor's feet.

"I've never been in a polyamorous relationship before. I always dated one person at a time. But now I'm seeing Nash and you. And I'm okay with it, but it's like this ball of anxiety about it comes out of nowhere sometimes because I want this to work so badly."

Taylor narrowed his gaze. "Are you like this with Nash? Or just me?"

Damon looked at his feet. "I'm like this with him too."

Taylor stood up and carefully folded the blanket. Damon looked upset, almost to the point of tears, as he packed up their picnic.

"I'll take you home. I'm sorry, Taylor."

"Like hell you will," Taylor said.

Damon's head snapped up and he looked at Taylor with concern, and hope, and sadness, and a bunch of other things Taylor couldn't name. Clearly Damon had tangled himself up in knots about this, and he was trying to untangle it all by himself.

"You're going to call Nash and ask where he is, and then the three of us are going to talk about this like adults."

Damon gave Taylor a tentative smile. "Thanks."

"Well, call Nash."

"I don't have to. He has a pretty set schedule. He'll be at home working."

Once they were in the car and on the road, Taylor pulled out his phone and sent Nash a text warning him of their impending arrival. He didn't say anything else to him in spite of his subsequent flurry of questions. He might have if he had answers for them, but the only thing he knew was that Damon needed to get over this if he was serious about giving Taylor a real shot.

And if not, Taylor would call a cab, go home, and lick his wounds—and for the sake of Damon's friendship with Jonah, he'd pretend that nothing had ever happened between them. It wasn't far off the truth anyway.

They arrived at Nash's as silent as strangers. Instead of buzzing in, Damon used a set of keys and Taylor's eyebrows shot up so fast they hit his hairline. Damon had keys to Nash's building. Which meant things between them were obvious more than a casual hookup that never stopped.

Nash's door swung open before they could knock, and Taylor tried to see what he was thinking, or feeling, but his expression was carefully neutral.

Damon sat down heavily in a recliner and buried his face in his hands.

Nash leaned against the counter as Taylor stood in the middle of the floor, looking around at Nash's apartment for the first time. It was tidy and stylish. A blanket like one of those Damon had brought on the picnic was unfolded on the couch. Clearly it got a lot of use. It was also obviously Damon's.

"Aren't you two supposed to be on a date?" Nash finally asked.

"We were, but Damon got all ‘this is weird.' And it's only weird in his head. I asked if he was like this with you, and here we are." Taylor dropped down on the sofa and tugged the blanket into his lap.

Nash sat down on the other end of the couch. "Damon, look at me."

Damon did as he was told and to be honest, if Nash used that tone of voice with Taylor, he'd probably jump to obey too.

"Taylor and I deserve actual relationships with you. We deserve to spend time with you and not have our relationship be about reassuring you that we're both okay with the arrangement."

"It's not like we have secrets from each other, Damon," Taylor added softly, wanting to soothe some of the sting Damon surely felt from Nash's no-nonsense approach.

"Hell, we got off together talking about Taylor and that kiss you shared. If that didn't prove that I was on board with this, then I don't know what to say."

Taylor stared at Nash, jaw dropping. "You—you what? Back up. Rewind. Say again?" His heart might have been beating still, but he couldn't tell because all his blood supply had rushed south and gathered in his dick. He was suddenly glad for the blanket he'd pulled over his lap.

Nash looked at Taylor, equal parts amused and embarrassed. "He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me?" Taylor wanted to be suaver, smoother and, honestly, hotter and more collected. But he was an idiot who'd lost all ability to speak. "Wait… You two talked about me while you had sex?"

Taylor and Nash locked eyes for a moment. A long moment. It grew into almost awkward proportions, like they both had so much to say but didn't want to say it, or maybe didn't know where to start.

It was Damon who broke the silence. "Holy shit. You're into each other."

Taylor's heart ran rabbit-scared fast and his head swam from the sudden flood of happiness because…what if Damon was right? What if Nash was into him as much as he was into Nash? It had been both men who were the subject of Taylor's most secret dreams. The kind that he didn't dare tell to anyone. The kind that made him feel like an interloper all of a sudden.

And what if he was wrong, and Taylor was simply something to spice up Nash's sex life with Damon? A little bit of extra to keep things interesting between them.

"Admit it," Damon challenged Nash.

They both glanced at Damon, his words snapping them out of their stupor. Damon didn't appear unhappy. It was quite the opposite, in fact. A surreal sort of joy radiated out from him. He looked like the cat that ate the canary.

Taylor dragged his gaze over to Nash. He felt like he was in a car crash in slow motion, flipping over and over, and he'd either come to a safe stop and be unharmed…or he'd die.

Just when Taylor thought Nash was going to deny Damon's accusation, he nodded.

"Holy shit." Taylor exhaled, his nerves equal parts soothed and rumpled from so many things happening at once. He understood now how Damon felt in a way he hadn't before. Like nothing this good could be real. "Someone pinch me."