1. Taylor

CHAPTER 1

TAYLOR

Nash and Damon's secret love affair was actually the worst-kept secret on the face of the earth. Taylor was pretty sure the only person who was actually clueless about it was Jonah. Taylor didn't know when it started or how serious it was, but he did know what it looked like when Damon kissed Nash. He'd never get the image out of his head of Damon glancing around to make sure the coast was clear—it wasn't—and then his hands on Nash, pulling him in. He knew what it looked like when the kiss ended and Nash gazed at Damon like he was the only thing on the planet worth looking at.

From where Taylor sat, it appeared pretty serious. Serious enough that for the past few months, as far as Taylor was aware, they stole every moment together that they could. Why they didn't tell anyone about it was the only thing he couldn't figure out.

Well, whatever reason it was, it was theirs. As was their secret. Taylor had never let anyone know about the kiss he'd seen. He kept that little nugget of information to himself. And if it broke his heart to see everyone else so easily find love when Taylor couldn't, that was okay too.

He was still young, after all, was what most people would say. And it was true. He was only twenty-two. A lot of people his age weren't thinking about forever. But some people his age were on the other side of the college experience, heading into the real world for the first time, a place Taylor had always inhabited.

Taylor didn't even remember his mom. His brothers had helped their dad raise him and it was a good life. Most people might not get why Taylor still liked living in the basement of his childhood home or why he wanted to work at the diner. And that was okay. They didn't have to understand him.

But it would be nice if someone did. If he had that special person whom he could curl up with and simply exist. More than hot dates and nights of drinking and random sex, all of which Taylor had done. He wanted the quiet parts of loving someone.

It was a pipe dream.

No one wanted a plant-obsessed guy in makeup and earrings who still worked with his dad, who still lived with his dad—sort of. The house had a basement suite and when they were kids their dad had rented it out, usually to harmless old ladies. The quiet, grandmotherly types. Then Jonah went to college, and Colby ended up managing a gym and moving across town, and Taylor had taken over the basement suite.

Sure, Taylor could probably move out, but he'd be crazy to. The rent he paid was a fraction of what he'd have to pay elsewhere. And he lived close to work. Besides, other people might want to be far away from their family, and for good reason in some cases, but Taylor had never felt that way about his. It had been a weird kind of hell when Jonah went off to college. Even though Jonah was the quiet one, it was quieter without him around. Nothing had been the same.

Even fire nights had been quieter. But they were back to normal now. Normal, but better, because Jonah brought Spencer and Colby brought Milo, and Nash and Damon were usually always there.

Taylor glanced at the clock and if he did a happy little shimmy because it was almost time for everyone to show up, no one but his plants would know, and although they were nice to have around, they weren't exactly big conversationalists. They were increasing in number again and soon Taylor was going to have to offload one or two somewhere.

He'd already plant-bombed Jonah's classroom and Colby's apartment. The diner and the upstairs had been almost too easy, Taylor thought as he checked on his plants before slipping into his room to get ready.

It wasn't like he had anyone to get ready for, but he still liked the ritual of changing into the perfect outfit. The weather was turning colder, so tonight his outfit was a pair of skinny jeans and a shirt that was just on the obscene side of tight and low cut, with an oversized sweater that was soft as a cloud and could only be described as baby pink.

Dangly earrings had become his favorite indulgence lately, when not at work, and he put in a pair of silver ones. They were simple enough, a thin chain attached to the post of the earring with a pearl at the other end. He added a touch of lip gloss and a bit of mascara because he liked how he looked with it before going upstairs.

He was usually the only one who used the connecting door between the upper floor and the basement, and he popped out into the kitchen where his dad was.

"Hey, kid. You look nice."

"Thanks. Do you need any help?" Taylor took a seat at the counter. His dad always had been quick to compliment his kids, but when Taylor had started dressing differently, his dad had noticeably turned it up a notch. Now, even when Taylor wasn't wearing makeup or anything, when he looked like he'd looked on any other day, his dad made a point to tell him that he looked nice. It was sweet.

"I think I have everything under control. It's supposed to be chilly later, so maybe you could take the blankets out of the laundry closet."

Fire nights happened all year. Rain or shine or snow or sleet. They were like the postal service, only stopping for natural disasters. Well, rain tended to put a damper on fire nights, but they tried to plan around the weather the best they could. And on the nights when they couldn't be outside, they brought the party into the living room.

There was an electric fireplace in the room now, set up below the television. It was one of those cheap ones you get at Walmart that plug into an outlet. They'd all sit around in the living room on couches and the floor, Dad would sit by the fire and play guitar, and it was almost as good as a proper fire night.

In some ways, it was cozier. More intimate because everyone was forced into a smaller space. Taylor silently prayed for rain as he checked on the blanket supply.

"Everything is good to go," he told his dad when he returned to the kitchen. "What's on the menu tonight?"

"Food."

Taylor rolled his eyes. "So hilarious. You're such a dad sometimes."

"Thanks, kid."

"That wasn't a compliment," Taylor teased.

"We're having barbeque chicken, corn, and potatoes."

"S'mores?"

"Always."

"You're the best. Are you sure you don't need help?"

"You can get the fire going and preheat the barbeque. I've got the rest handled."

"Got it." Taylor stuffed his feet into his Chucks and went out the back door into the yard. Fall had arrived and the grass had finally stopped growing so fast, but even so, it could use a mow, and the edges of the yard along the fence were unkempt. They weren't going to win any awards for their yard, that was for sure, but Taylor loved it all the same. It felt like home.

The playhouse had long since been abandoned, but it still sat at the back of the property like a relic of their childhood. There was a deck where the barbeque sat. A small propane fire pit sat in the middle of some patio furniture, but the real fun happened out at the circle of bricks.

The ground around the pit was firmly packed dirt. The grass hadn't stood a chance of staying alive there. There were various chairs and benches, more than enough seating for everyone.

Taylor retrieved wood from the shed using a wheelbarrow to keep his sweater from getting ruined. By the time he had the fire going and the barbeque heating, the back door opened and Damon stepped out.

He smiled at Taylor and made a beeline for him, dropping into a chair by the fire. He kept his jacket on, and Taylor already missed summer. Summer meant months of shirtless Damon, and that was a sight Taylor never tired of.

"Hey, Damon. You're early." Taylor poked at the fire, coaxing the flames higher. Not that he needed to, but it gave him something to do besides stare at Jonah's best friend. He'd covet the few minutes they'd have together before someone more interesting came along to keep Damon's attention.

"I'm not early, everyone else is late," Damon joked. "Pink looks nice on you."

Taylor hated that he could tell he blushed. "Thanks."

He dared to glance up at Damon, but his attention had already shifted away back to the house. Back to where Taylor could see Nash through the window talking to Taylor's dad in the kitchen.

Those two never ran out of things to talk about. Nash and Damon were family in all the ways that mattered, and both Nash and his dad liked the same sports team. They were probably talking about the game that Taylor knew was on last night.

Though Taylor would never admit it, he wished Damon or Nash, or someone like them, would look at him that way. All moony-eyed and secretly wanting. He wouldn't even mind sneaking around if he had to.

"How's things at the diner?" Damon asked. He leaned back in the chair and stretched his long, lean legs out toward the fire. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave Taylor his full attention. But now that Taylor had it, he didn't know what to say.

He shrugged. "It's good. It's nice having someone else around who knows how to run the kitchen." Taylor opened his mouth to tell Damon about something funny that had happened in the diner, but the back door opened and Nash came strolling through with Taylor's dad. They were carrying the dishes of food over to the grill.

Damon jumped up and went over to see if he could help. Or to get away from Taylor. Though he had complimented Taylor's sweater and made small talk, Damon seemed to like everyone else more than he liked him.

He was all smiles for Spencer and Jonah. The three of them were super close, even after Jonah and Spencer ended up in a relationship. Damon was happy to launch into a conversation with Taylor's dad and be friends with both his older brothers, but Taylor was all but invisible to him. Like an afterthought. A person to chitchat with until more interesting people showed up.

Like Milo and Colby, who came through the side gate, not bothering to go into the house. Colby went straight to Nash, who was doing his best not to stand too close to Damon or to look at him too much. If Taylor hadn't seen them kiss, he'd still be none the wiser about the two of them.

Milo came over to Taylor, barely sparing a glance or a word for anyone else. He slid an arm around Taylor and pulled him into a hug.

"What's up, sugarplum? Why the long face?"

Taylor liked Milo, and he knew that he'd keep Taylor's confidence if he was asked to. But Taylor didn't want to stand in his back yard and have a pity party because his crushes were hooking up and one of them didn't even seem to like him as a friend. It was worse than being friend-zoned. It was like standing in line for dodgeball and not even being picked last.

It was like not being picked at all.