Chapter 21

This had been the strangest week of her life, so it shouldn't have been too startling to walk around Infinity like she was a card-carrying member. Months ago, this had been practically an impenetrable fortress for the Shieldsmen to attack.

And now, she was sauntering down its dark-carpeted halls, listening to the vampires gathering downstairs. She even had her own little bedroom in the basement, austere but clean. Beneath the smell of cleaning products and fresh paint lingered the smells of smoke and blood, though she couldn't be entirely sure it was real, rather than her own guilt.

One of the women had brought her a duffel bag full of clothing and toiletries, which was a blessing after realizing that everything she owned was in Tante Mina's house, which was certainly barred to her now.

She'd taken her time showering and dressing in a black ensemble—her benefactor had a monochrome selection—but hadn't been ready to step into the main hall just yet.

While Julian had been recovering, she'd taken a brief excursion outside and down the street to pick up groceries. The vampire diet didn't work for her, and she needed proper food. But on her first trip back from the nearby grocery store, she'd frozen at the front doors to the club.

In her mind's eye, she still saw the bloodstains,still saw the still forms of the guards she'd targeted, one having never even drawn a weapon, the other with a gun lying useless at their side.

That was her assignment. Jonas Wynn called the shots, and Mina made sure she was the one in the high perch. Only an evil person would serve someone like Eduardo Alazan, Mina had told her later.

But she'd pulled the trigger, had known exactly what she was doing. She knew that one twitch of her finger had put the end on a person's life, and she'd been okay with it back then.Maybe they were human, but they were monsters by association.

But now…

Walking these halls, she couldn't stop thinking about those two. Even the exuberant pleasure of being withJulian could only push it back temporarily. Now that she was more and more enmeshed with the Auberon, she found herself looking back on everything, all of her actions and beliefs built on lies.

What if the Auberon weren't what Mina said? What if they were a family who cared about each other and cared about humanity, at least in the abstract, enough to try to protect them from monsters like Carrigan Shea? What if their security had just been decent people who thought they were doing a good job to collect a paycheck? And she killed them in cold blood.

What the hell did that make Scarlett?

Her phone rattled across the countertop, and she grabbed it to find a message from Olivia Pierce, who sent out commands to the Shroud. She'd been added to the group chat, so it seemed.

Olivia

meet in the main hall now

The phone was a replacement, and if there was any indication that her life was new, it was the brand-new phone that held no familiar numbers, only those of the vampire court that had taken her in. The glowing display reminded her that there were only two days until her birthday.

Well, the guilt might not be an issue much longer if history repeated itself. Despite being told there was a good chance she'd die within a week, it was hard to get too upset. The whole thing felt so absurd that it was hard to take it seriously.And even when she did, there was this sense of hopelessness; if the woman who had raised her was a powerful witch who'd managed to tie her soul to reality through multiple deaths and rebirths, what chance did she have of fighting back?

Her heart thumped as she descended the stairs. A familiar scent drifted to her, and the tension in her chest eased when she looked up to see Julian standing near the bar, his green eyes fixed on her. One of his hands lifted slightly in invitation, and she hurried to meet him.

It was impossible not to smile, especially with the memory of him falling to his knees and devouring her with that wicked mouth, making good on the promise of her dreams. But even that pleasure soured; did she deserve such kindness from him?

She had met most of the other vampires by now, mentally checking them off as they gathered around a long table set up in the middle of the room. Golden lights twinkled in the rafters, casting a pleasant glow over the dim room.

Despite the guilt tangling its cold, slimy arms around her gut, no one seemed to be glaring daggers at her. Julian's gaze cut to an empty chair next to him, and she sat down across from Paris, who was his right hand. She recognized Safira, Dominic, and Misha. And at the far end of the table was Shoshanna York, the pretty human witch who'd given Kova hope, who hadn't thrown fire in Scarlett's face even when she broke into her damned house.

She was startled to see a vampire woman who looked nearly identical to Olivia Pierce walk over to the table and start placing glasses in front of each of the vampires, tray balanced with practiced ease, like a cocktail waitress. "Thank you," Julian said politely. The woman returned with sparkling water for Scarlett and the other non-vampires, then took a seat next to Olivia.

"Update me," Julian said brusquely. "Roll call, city, then the witch."

Paris nodded. "The Nightwatch is accounted for. We had some injuries in the raid, but nothing that need concern you."

"Did you find Rhys?" Julian asked.

"We talked to Kova," Scarlett said. "Given that he was locked in a cell, he couldn't be sure, but he hadn't seen anyone matching the description. And he hadn't seen Jordan at all. Neither did I."

"I tried," Misha said. "I found a sample of his blood in the clinic and produced a bloodstone, but I kept hitting a wall. Similar to what happened when I was looking for Lilah."

"But you had a connection?" Julian asked. "Does that mean he's alive?"

"I really don't know," Misha said. He winced. "I've never tried finding a dead man. It's possible that he's alive, and it's possible that I found his blood."

Paris turned to Julian. "I don't suppose you can find him with that handy little Covenant."

"It doesn't work that way, as far as I know," Julian said. "I wish it did."

Olivia cleared her throat. "Your little tussle at the Hilton downtown ended up on the news. Right now the stories are muddled; all that's clear is that someone jumped off a balcony and survived, and then there was a brawl in the lobby. There are a couple of posts on social media with people claiming they saw someone jump up ten floors, but it doesn't seem to be getting any traction. Thankfully it happened so fast that no one got video of you guys. There were a few recordings of Jonas being taken into the ambulance, and one of Julian hauling ass out the door, but nothing else."

"Can you get it taken down?" Julian asked.

"I'm reporting them all, but trying to scrub something from the Internet is like trying to contain water in a pair of pantyhose," she said wryly. She smiled and continued. "Regardless, there's nothing that screams supernatural creatures of the night on the video. And despite the shitshow of the last week, we had a clean night last night. But there were some electrical issues with the streetlights outside the building, so there were city trucks parked outside all day, setting off the security system. We're working on it."

"Any news on the other vampire that attacked Misha?" Julian asked.

Paris shook his head. "I'm assuming he tucked tail."

Julian glanced at Scarlett. "Do you know anything about them? A dark-haired woman, a man with a buzz cut?"

Her heart kicked against her ribs. "They're Lux's little puppets. Paige and Adrian."

"Lux?" Julian asked. "She's Armina's apprentice, correct? The blonde one who was working with Shea?"

"That's right," Scarlett said. "She's working out new ways to control vampires. It's different somehow from what she did to Kova. She's got these stakes. I told Misha about it."

"Are they different from us?" Paris asked. "In the sense of being vampires, I mean. Obviously, they're assholes."

"They're strong," Misha muttered.

"I don't really know," Scarlett said. "But they follow orders to the letter. Kova sometimes resisted orders, but he always seemed like himself. The first time I saw Paige, I freaked out and jumped her. Once Lux told her to stand down, she didn't even try to defend herself, even though I put a stake through her throat. It's like once they get an order, they'll follow it without hesitating."

"Then she must have told them to take you out," Paris said, glancing down the table at Misha.

The other man nodded."Or not to touch Julian.'

"She's also marking the hunters, I think. They're stronger, but also dead set on their orders," Scarlett said, rubbing her wrist absently. She was still disturbed by the memory of Marlee Montgomery mindlessly attacking her, saying again and again, You have to stay. The mistress wants you to stay. They had never been more than acquaintances, but she knew Marlee was smart, well-spoken, and independent.

"Did she try to mark you?" Julian asked her, frowning.

Scarlett shook her head. "No, but I was only there a short time before you all showed up."

At that, he spared a faint smile that warmed her heart. "How is Jonas recovering?" Julian asked.

"Having a rough time," Paris said. "But if you hadn't slowed his fall, they'd still be scrubbing his brain off the expensive tile, so I'd count him lucky. Kristina's staying at St. Anthony's for extra protection just in case." He glanced at his phone. "So far, no obvious sign of Armina or her apprentices. Shoshanna?"

The witch nodded and gestured across the table to Misha Volkov. "Misha and I have been doing our best to survey, but it's not exactly a science. We both have limited range, and I can't put a perimeter around the whole city."

"But you have to assume she's going to retaliate," Scarlett said. Her mouth went dry when the others all turned to look at her. "Whether it's against you or me, she's certainly coming."

"Yeah," Paris said. His blue eyes met hers, and he wore a frown that she didn't entirely understand. He didn't look angry; was he sad? It was an odd look. He glanced down the table to Shoshanna. "What about the curse?"

Her brow furrowed. "We can talk privately about it if you prefer."

"It's fine," Scarlett said. She cleared her throat. "If you don't mind me interrupting…thank you for helping me. I can't pretend to understand this whole situation, but…thank you."

"I told you that you're part of our family," Paris said. "Like it or not."

She laughed weakly. "Right."

"I still can barely get close to you," Shoshanna said, shaking her head. "I have some ideas, but I also suspect that given what they've told me about…the past…I suspect that something will happen on your birthday. Right now, it seems that your curse is actively protecting you."

"It's making sure she lives long enough to play Armina's game," Paris said.

Cold dread prickled down her spine. "I'd rather not play," she said weakly.

"We have an idea," Shoshanna said. "But it'll take a little more time to prepare."

"And what about Kova?" Scarlett asked. "Are you going to help him?"

"He wants us to prioritize you," Misha said.

She shook her head. "Help him. He's been bound to her for a long time. And if you break her spell, then he can probably tell you anything you want to know about her."

"Seriously?" Paris asked.

"Seriously. If you're telling me that she's killed me…or past versions of me, or whatever this is, after my birthday, then there's time for me," she said. "And you're saying you need more time to prepare anyway." She looked at Julian, who looked as if he'd just heard the worst news of his life.

"Scarlett, we need to focus on you. Kova will understand," Julian said.

"How much longer do you need before you can crack her open?" Paris asked.

Misha cleared his throat. "I'm going to create a bloodstone using a particularly potent…" He trailed off with a sheepish smile. "I need to draw Scarlett's blood, distill it, and then probably another full day of work. We can give it a try in two more days."

"Then you have plenty of time to help Kova. How long do you need?" she asked.

The two witches exchanged a look, and then Shoshanna said, "We can try tonight if we get home soon."

"Then do it. But I want to be there," Scarlett said.

Olivia raised her hand, reminding Scarlett of her classmates in school. "What about Carrigan Shea? If he's in the city, we need to have everyone on alert."

"I assume he got away with Armina," Paris said with a grumble. "I was trying to pry one of those black-eyed drones off of Safira and didn't see him."

"Oh," Julian said, a smile cracking his somber expression. "I was unconscious, so I guess you didn't hear. He's dead."

"You're sure?" Paris asked.

"Quite certain. I left his head in the opposite corner of the room from his torso," Julian said, punctuating it with a sip of his drink. His green eyes flitted to Scarlett, and he spared a little smile.

At that, Paris grinned and raised his glass. "Best news I've heard all day." Then his smile faltered. "And what are we to do about the witch? Given what's happened to all of us, killing her is dangerous. And our dhampir friend here takes issue."

Her heart thumped. "I don't know what to do."

"I'm not sure it should be your choice," Safira said, clearing her throat. "Your familial relationship doesn't trump all the destruction she's caused. No offense, but we've been dealing with the fallout for nearly two hundred years."

Anger flared in her chest. "The fallout of what you did to her."

Julian stared at her. "We should discuss this privately."

"No. I understand your side of it, but I understand hers, too. She lied to me about everything else, but your story and hers are the same when it comes to her husband. You tortured and killed him, right?" Scarlett said.

Julian's gaze was fixed on hers. To his credit, he didn't look away. "Yes, we did."

"Was it your choice? Or were you ordered?"

"Eduardo gave the orders to fight," Safira said.

Julian shook his head. "Let's be honest. I called the shots on the ground. I gave the order to get information from him, no matter what it took. And in the end,I killed him," Julian said. He didn't plead or whine that he was only doing what he had to do. She wished she had the same courage, honestly.

"And at what point do you say that our penance is done?" Paris asked.

She glanced at him. "How many people would you kill if you lost him?" she asked, pointing to Misha.

His face paled, but he didn't shrink away. He raised a glass and said, "I am in no position to moralize. But what would you have us do? Let her keep hurting others? Let her kill you again?"

"I don't know," Scarlett said. "I'm just saying that you cannot delude yourself into thinking she's some monster who tortures poor little vampires because she has nothing better to do."

"That's enough," Dominic said. "I suffered for centuries for what I did, and I'm willing to call it just. But the things that Armina Voss has done are far worse. Do you know why Nikko was cursed? He killed a witch who was helping breed more dhampir. The Shieldsmen who claim to protect humanity did not extend that protection to poor teenage girls who happened to be of childbearing age."

"Dominic—" Julian said.

Her heart raced as his words sank in. Could Mina have been involved with something so monstrous?

Worse, he wasn't done. Dominic's eyes went furious red as he rose and pointed to Olivia. "She nearly died. Was that justified? What about what she did to Kova's lover, Lucia? God, what about you? She wants you dead because it will hurt him. You will suffer and die for no other reason than to give her the momentary satisfaction of knowing that Julian Alcott suffered for another day."

A high-pitched whine set the hair on her neck on end, and cold air surged through the room. She felt that same strange crawling sensation she'd felt when Shea attacked her. With a series of muffled pops, the lights overhead exploded one by one.

"That's enough,"Julian snapped, surging to his feet.

"Scarlett, calm down," Misha said. The temperature plunged, and the last of the lights exploded, plunging them into deep darkness.

"I'm not doing anything!" she snapped. "I don't know what this is." Holding her hands up defensively, she drew a deep breath to calm herself.

"It's the magic," Shoshanna said. "Dominic is a threat."

"I'm not?—"

"Dom," Paris said sharply. A bright white light illuminated his face as he set out his phone with the flashlight facing upward. Several more joined, casting an eerie glow over the dark room. Broken glass glittered on the floor.

The stern vampire had sunk back into his seat, but his eyes were brilliant, ruby red as he stared at Scarlett and said, "I'm sorry you're facing the loss of someone you cared for, but enough is enough. Armina Voss will keep hurting innocent people until someone finally stops her. You don't have to be the one to do it, but I will not stay my hand. I've seen what she does, and I've seen what she will do to you. I can live with your anger, Brigitte." He cleared his throat. "…Scarlett."

She felt like she'd been sucker punched. The others stared at her, and she didn't know where to look, what to say, how to explain herself. And the strangest part of it was that she felt like she had to answer for Mina. Even knowing that all of it was a lie, she couldn't entirely shove the woman out of that warm space in her heart.

Shoshanna cleared her throat. "I don't mean to make it weird, but are we going to keep yelling at each other about our feelings that certainly can't be resolved in one evening, or can we do something productive?"

Paris let out a nervous laugh. "Let us table the issue of that witch. If you're ready to break Kova's spell, then move ahead with it."

Thirty minutes later,she was staring out the window as Julian drove them down the busy interstate, headed for the beautiful home in Midnight Springs. Her heart thrummed as she tried to come up with words. Finally, she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Don't be," he said. "All of this is…it's so messy. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if things would be different if we'd just killed Tobias outright. If we'd let him go to warn his superiors. If we'd just given up our home in Switzerland and run away. Maybe it would all be different."

"And the Shieldsmen could have done the same," she mused. "Let you have the city."

"But they believed what they did was right, as did we. We truly wanted to be left in peace, but I understand why they couldn't accept that," he said. "I am not a fool."

She sighed. "I wish I could talk to her and make her see reason. But she's still so angry about it. I think…" She fiddled with her nails. "I think it's one thing to be a decent person in pain. Even a decent person who does something terrible to prevent something worse. But…I don't think that's who she is. Maybe she used to be a good person, but she hurt Kova because it amused her. And if she wanted to punish you, killing Brigitte was enough. The balance was struck then."

He nodded without speaking.

Tears pricked her eyes. "I have to tell you something. I wanted to wait, but it's been eating me alive," she said.

A warm hand slid over her arm and took her hand. She glanced over to see him flash her a faint smile before fixing his gaze on the road again. "You can tell me anything."

"When we attacked Infinity, I…I killed two people. I didn't come inside because Mina wanted me to be the sniper, although now that I think about it, I wonder if she didn't want me to run into any of you," she rambled. "And I thought I was doing the right thing and?—"

She sucked in a deep breath, remembering how he'd spoken so clearly, unwavering as he admitted to what he'd done to Tobias.

"I believed that they were the enemy. And I killed them. At the time, I thought the Auberon were bad, and therefore anyone protecting them was equally bad. Now I can't help thinking that they were people, too. I took them from their families, and?—"

A sob ripped out of her, and before she realized it, she was weeping. Julian cursed, and she was vaguely aware as he pulled off the interstate and zipped into a gas station, its harsh lights glowing through the windows. Strong arms folded around her, pulling her in tight.

He didn't speak or try to talk away her pain. Words crawled out of her, as if they'd been secretly conspiring for the moment she let the dam break. "I'm so fucking stupid. I thought I was doing the right thing, and she told me how good I was, how much I was making a difference. And I didn't ask questions, just did whatever I was told and I enjoyed it," she wept. "I liked hunting vampires. And when I watched those two drop, I didn't feel bad about it. I didn't enjoy it, but I thought it was a good shot and a job well done, and?—"

"Scarlett," he murmured, stroking her long hair. "Do you want me to be honest with you or say sweet things to make you feel better?"

She sniffled. "Both?"

He held her tight for a while longer, the silence hanging thick around them. "Did you believe deep down that the Auberon were evil? That we were hurting innocent humans for our entertainment?"

"Yes," she murmured.

"Then I can't fault you for what you did. If you believed that taking us down was the way to stop evil from spreading, then you did the right thing, at least under your current code," he said.

"But they were people," she said.

"Yes, they were. They were alive and now they're not. They were buried and mourned, and the people who cared about them will miss them forever," he said. "And I'm not saying this to make you feel better just because I love you, but I truly believe Armina holds the blame for their deaths. You were the instrument, and she used you because you were the right tool for the job. She honed you into exactly what she wanted."

She let out another noisy cry against his shoulder, and he held her tight. She'd barely ever questioned her life until this damned vampire showed up, and now her doubts were ripping her apart, laying her heart open to be shredded by the world.

"I am not proud of what I did to her husband, but I would do it again. I believed that I did what was necessary to stop further bloodshed. Life is complicated, Scarlett. Sometimes there is no right or wrong, only differing shades of difficult," he said.

"So you don't feel bad about it?" she asked, pulling away to look up at him through her teary eyes.

He let out a bitter laugh, though his expression was somber. "God, of course I do. Most of the vampire hunters we fought back then were… They were religious zealots. Some of them were sadists and used the ‘good of humanity' reasoning to justify bloody killings. Not just vampires, but people they thought were helping us. And Dominic wasn't exaggerating about breeding dhampir, either," he said, shaking his head. "We're not sure, but we think Jonas Wynn was born around that time. He doesn't talk about it, but he says he didn't know his family. There's a good chance he was born to some poor village girl whose family gave her up for a sack of coin and a turned head."

"That's horrible," Scarlett said.

"It is. But some of them were true believers. If someone thought that we were sacrificing innocent virgins and draining babies on a nightly basis, I'd wonder more at their morality if they didn't hunt us down," he said. "I listen to my conscience, and sometimes, it will be unhappy no matter what I do. When I held Tobias Pfahler's life in my hands, I knew that there was no good answer. And I wasn't entirely noble, either. I cared about people, but I cared about my own survival and I cared about my family. I chose them over him. You chose to protect humans at the expense of our security guards. I can't fault you for it."

He glanced over at her, his eyes glistening. "I wish I could fix it."

She shook her head. "I appreciate the honesty. I just never had a doubt that what I was doing was right. Now I don't trust myself at all," she said.

"I do," he said. "You protected me. You vouched for Kova, and even now, you stood up for Armina. I can't lie to make you feel better, but you're a good woman, Scarlett. There is no doubt in my mind."

"Thanks," she murmured. He leaned over to kiss her cheek, and she instinctively turned to kiss his lips instead. He kissed her soft and sweet, then brushed his thumb over her lower lip.

"We'll get through this. I see you, and nothing you've done scares me off," he said.

She let out a weak laugh, then pulled down the visor mirror and winced. "God, I look terrible."

"A little," he said.

With a genuine laugh, she shook her head and scrubbed at her smeared mascara. "Any chance you have a makeup wipe and some concealer?"

"Compared to all the other messes we've got to deal with, that's an easy one to solve," he said.

Unfazed, Julian drove them to Midnight Springs and stopped at an all-night pharmacy, then handed over his wallet so she could pick up supplies. After buying some toiletries, she thanked him profusely and touched up her face.

Fifteen minutes later, they walkedup to the front door of the beautiful house in Midnight Springs. His hand slid into hers and gave her a warm squeeze.

The last time she'd visited, she'd kicked the door in, but it had already been replaced. Alistair opened the front door for them, and she was startled to see a black cat tucked under his arm, big yellow eyes looking up at Scarlett. "Come in," he said. The cat let out a low growl, ears laid back against his skull. "Shush, you. They're our guests."

The cat hissed, and Scarlett realized with dismay he was hissing at her.

Just as before, the house was cozy and welcoming. The scent of cinnamon and vanilla perfumed the air, while warm lighting turned the open living room into an inviting space.

"Are you sure it's safe to do this here?" Julian asked.

"Shoshanna likes to work in her own space," Alistair replied. A smile flickered across his face when he said her name, his eyes briefly flicking up as if he saw her there. The cat let out a little mrow, but Alistair said, "You have to go to your castle when your mum is doing magic. Yes, that's the rule, you spoiled little beast." Then he shook his head and said, "Excuse me."

He hurried down the hall, still telling the cat how spoiled it was.

"His castle?" Scarlett whispered.

Julian suppressed a smile. "Alistair likes the cat much more than he lets on. He plays the piano for him when Shoshanna's away."

"I can hear you!" Alistair called from down the hall. The broad-shouldered man returned, gave her a wary look, then headed to a liquor cabinet to take out a decanter filled with whiskey. He poured two glasses, then gestured to her. "Do you want a drink?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you." The two men clinked their glasses, and she cleared her throat. "Alistair, I want to apologize for breaking into your home. I know you and Shoshanna must not trust me."

Alistair's eyes lifted to Julian, and he took a sip of his drink before setting it down. He regarded her calmly. "I'll be honest with you. I don't particularly trust you, but I…I don't know that I would do differently in your situation. Life is complex. And if we all survive this, we'll hopefully all live long enough to hash it out and get over ourselves."

An engine rumbled outside, and Alistair went to the door to let in their final arrivals. Misha Volkov walked in first, a loaded backpack slung over one shoulder. Kova was behind him, with Sasha Morozov close behind.

"Kova," she murmured, heading toward him.

"Be careful?—"

She went to embrace Kova, but he held up his hands to keep her away. Hurt sliced through her, but he shook his head. "Wait until the bindings are broken. I don't want to risk hurting you," he said.

Instead, she folded her arms and followed them upstairs and into the fragrant, brightly lit workshop on the second floor. Shoshanna York sat on a cushion on the floor, carefully sketching lines with a piece of white chalk. Before entering, Kova glanced back at her."Thank you for caring enough to help me. I owe you."

Scarlett shook her head. "You don't owe me. I just hope it works."

Shoshanna looked up and smiled. "Come in. We're almost ready."