Chapter 57

Lorelai

I saw it. I saw it the instant the news of what I was saying hit home. The instant he finally grasped what I was trying to tell him. He'd married me in a drunken state and stayed married to me because of his peers. However, the overarching drive to all of it had hinged on my ability to conceive and give him an heir. That's what our relationship was actually built on—my getting pregnant.

And I couldn't do that.

Sirena might have failed to kill me. She might have failed to use me to coerce Ellax into swaying the Council, the Coalition, into voting the way she wanted; I wasn't entirely sure about that. But what she hadn't failed to do was enact her own sneaky bit of revenge. Revenge against me for being one of the humans she hated so badly, and who had taken her place as Ellax's wife. Now, I might be his wife, but not for long.

I couldn't get pregnant.

It hurt to cry. It hurt to think. It hurt to look Ellax in the face. In a few short days, I'd come to realize I was head over heels and hopelessly in love with him. I wanted to be his wife for the rest of my life. The clause we'd built into our pact where he'd allow me to leave when I wanted was unnecessary. I'd never want to leave.

All of that hurt. Every single bit of it. No amount of Asterion pain medication could remove the ache.

And yet, none of it hurt like the expression in his golden eyes when I told him the truth.

"You m-might as well start working on an exit plan for me once I'm out of h-here," I whispered. Even though the pain meds had started to kick in, making talking a little easier, I was mindful of the fact that we were merely behind a curtain and infirmary workers were nearby. "It's okay. I can g-go somewhere else. You can have the wife you deserve, who c-can give you the heir you need. I understand. I p-promise that I do. I get it. Just please…"

Why wasn't he saying anything? Why wasn't his face turning cold? Why wasn't he releasing my hand? Was he trying to make this difficult? Couldn't he see how I was suffering? If he had any shred of compassion or decency, any remnant of the love he'd claimed to bear for me as his mate, he would stop me and gently tell me, Okay, it's over. I get it. I'll handle it from here.

Instead, he simply remained quiet and let me keep talking. Blathering. Crying. I was a mess, and knew it. I wanted this horrible moment, this torture that defied even the torture of Sirena's beating, or the torture of dragging my mangled body across the footbridge, defying both the pain and my fear of heights, to end. I wanted it to end .

"Please don't f-forget about me," I begged. "That one n-night with you, and these past few days, you made me f-feel things I never dreamed were possible. I promise, I'll hang on—onto the memories forever."

Still nothing. His eyes were unblinking.

I allowed myself to relish the feel of his skin against mine before weakly tugging my hand away.

"I release you f-from our pact," I said. "Get me off this planet. Make it look like I died—that shouldn't be hard to do. Find someone else to m-marry. Have your heir. And I tr-truly hope you live happily ever after."

There.

I turned my face away, squeezing my eyes shut so I wouldn't have to watch him leave. Curling my fists into the thin hospital blanket, I tried to cling to the memory of his hand clasping mine.

There.

I'd done the right thing, hadn't I? I'd given my all to save the humans on Earth. I'd given my all to make sure my boys wouldn't wake up to a horrific message of their mother being murdered. At least I'd accomplished that goal. Now, I'd set the person I loved free. I could go onto the next phase in life, forever sad and mourning a love I'd barely tasted but which would affect me forever. At least I'd done the right thing, and could live with myself.

"Lorelai…"

"Just go," I said, shaking my head against the pillow, hoping he didn't see the tear that leaked from the corner of my eye and dripped down my cheek. "I'll be okay."

I wouldn't. However, I didn't want him staying with me out of some false sense of pity.

"Lorelai, is this medication speaking or is this you speaking?"

My pity party was interrupted by the, well, less than sympathetic question. His tone was almost accusatory. As if I'd done something wrong. Or, if not wrong, then foolish.

Blinking away the tears, I swiveled my head on the pillow to study his face.

"This is m-me talking," I replied, utterly confused. "Didn't you hear everything I said? I p-poured my heart to you. What more do you want?"

"I want this foolishness to end. I want you to heal enough to walk out of this place, ride out in a wheelchair, or even allow me to carry you out in my arms. That is what I want. I want you to come home to my house. Or, if you'd rather we move to different house, one that would be yours alone, rather than my former wife's, we can do that too. What I want is for you to realize you are my wife. You are more than my wife—you are my mate. If you are able to heal and give me an heir—that is a blessing from the stars. If not, you are still my wife. You are still my mate. If I die with no heir to which I may pass my wealth and position, that is the will of the stars, just as they willed you to be my mate.

"I cannot answer for why things have unfolded as they have," he concluded gently. Leveraging himself upright, he bent over me, suspended over me lying helpless in the bed, spellbound by his words. "But this I know. I failed one wife. I will not fail another. I failed one son. I will do all in my power to restore my relationship with Caide, so I do not fail him a second time. I will do all in my power to assist your sons in life, so I do not fail them, either. Because of you, Lorelai. You are my mate. The stars have willed it. The universe has willed it."

He stopped. Before I could make some foolish remark about not wanting him to stay with me due to some grand destiny over which he had no control, he dropped his head, inhaling a shuddering breath. I froze. Was he okay? Had he been injured? Was he hurt? What was wrong? I'd never seen this indomitable alien Overlord like this. He was trembling with emotion.

And when he raised his head, looking me in the face, I was shocked to see tears swimming in his golden eyes.

"You are my everything , Lorelai Pendorgrin," he finished. "You saved your people. Sirena's plan failed. You saved me—from myself. I love you, whether there is a child born of our union or not. I love you whether the stars around us crash and burn into ashes. I love you whether Asterion's suns fizzle into darkness. I love you, should the universe itself implode and we are nothing but dust. I will still love you."

As if to make absolutely certain I understood what he was saying, he gently clasped my chin between his thumb and forefinger, leaned down, and pressed a sweet, featherlight kiss to my lips.

"I love you ."

That was it. Nothing more needed to be said. Except one final thing.

"I love you too," I whispered through the tears, forcing the words past a throat swelled shut with emotion.

"Then it is settled," he answered firmly. "You will heal. You will come home with me. I will erase the memory of our pact from Fertis' hard drive. And we will spend the rest of our lives, however long or however short, simply loving one other."

"Sounds good to me," I whispered.

And that was that.