38

MAEVE

THE children hated me. I tried to keep that from Ivy; she had to believe I was capable of at least babysitting, but they hated me.

It was just another thing that made me feel...useless. Undeserving. It reminded me of all the terrible things I already knew about myself.

I was not good with domestic life. The last two-hundred years proved that. I was a soldier. Leading teams, dealing with prisoners, entering the field...those were all tasks I could manage.

But when it came to three children—Ivy’s sisters —I was no better than a newly Changed vampire.

With the youngest two in bed, I was left with Eloise, who sat quietly on one of the sofas in the family room with large, over the ear headphones on. Despite being warned to listen to Adrian and me while Ivy was at the academy, she had no such inclination. But I couldn’t blame her. I was just another person who had come in and altered her life entirely. And the poor girl was struggling.

Thea appeared beside me, dish rag in hand, and nodded to Eloise. “Nothing?”

Sighing, I shook my head. “No.”

Thea watched me, and I was reminded of the fact that she, too, was struggling. We still had little to no answers about her species, though she also didn’t seem to trust us with that. She was determined to wait for Ivy to return so they could work it out together. I felt a small tug of jealousy at the thought, but as I glanced at Thea, I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like she was a threat to our mate bond.

Internally, I scolded myself. “She respects you,” I muttered. “Perhaps she’ll go to bed if you tell her to.”

Thea raised a brow. “Nope. You were left in charge by Ivy, not me.”

“What?” I was surprised at that answer. “But she—”

Thea shook her head and flipped the rag over her shoulder. “You cannot let them think they’re in charge,” she said, voice hush. “ You are the adult here, no t Eloise.”

“I don’t want to push her,” I said. “I know she and the other children like me less than they do Elias. But I don’t want to hurt them.”

Her eyes softened, and she cocked her head. “They like you. Trust me. At least, Ginny definitely does.” She turned her gaze to Eloise, who was busy with the new device Queen Greer had gotten her. “You and Eloise are kind of alike, you know. You both suck at opening up.”

I gritted my teeth. After the day we’d had in lockdown, my inability to leave for meetings because of promises to Ivy, and the stress of not being by my mate during an attack, I was not at my best. And Thea’s statement was true. I was working to be more open with Ivy, but that didn’t mean I was open with everyone else.

Beside me, Thea sighed. “Look. You’re not the most open. The difference between you and the guys is, you’re more…stoic. Adrian makes them pancakes. Rowan tells them dumb jokes. Elias, weirdly enough, is just gooey around them. The children get something out of them. What can you offer them?” I glanced at Thea from the corner of my eye, but she turned on her heel. “Give it some thought. I’m going to finish washing up. In the meantime, get Eloise into bed. I’m not dealing with her cranky ass in the morning.”

I closed my eyes as I listened to the sound of Thea’s footsteps fade until she entered the kitchen, leaving me with Eloise.

Like she was a wounded animal, I approached slowly. Eloise didn’t look up until I sat on the edge of the coffee table across from her.

“Eloise.” I rested my elbows on my knees and inched closer as her eyes narrowed. “Headphones off. Please.”

She sighed irritably through her nose, but she paused whatever she’d been watching and let them fall around her neck. Her eyes found mine, uninterested, but she set the tablet down on her lap.

I pressed my lips into a firm line. “I will be completely honest with you,” I said, feeling my heart twist in my chest as the words tumbled from my lips, “I am not like the others. Like Elias or Adrian or Rowan. They find it easy being around you, but I struggle. I’m not good with children.”

Eloise’s eyes narrowed. “And?”

“Just because I’m not good with children, does not mean you get to disrespect me, Eloise. When I was your age, I was not a child anymore. I was a woman. You have been through so much, that I would never disrespect you by being condescending.”

She turned her gaze down to her hands for a moment. “Sorry.”

Shaking my head, I reached for one of her hands. “Don’t be sorry. Just realise I am here to help. I am here to protect you while Ivy cannot.” I squeezed her fingers, and when she squeezed back, I sighed in relief. “You are owed your emotions, Eloise. You have been through more than most could ever dream of. I’ve felt the pain of losing my family; my mother died when I was young, and I, too, was abandoned by my father.”

I tried not to think much of that man. The coward. The filth that had left me to my Sire.

My jaw clenched, and I shoved those memories aside. “I want you to know that I have patience for you, Eloise. So, please have some for me.”

She glanced up, and our eyes met. Her irises were like the bluest ocean, unnerving. Every day, it seemed more and more of her siren heritage was coming through. Soon, she would likely shift, and it would mean having her spend more time with Sir Leith to control her instincts.

After a long moment, Eloise sighed again. “I don’t like sleeping here when Ivy isn’t here,” she muttered. “It makes me a huge wuss. I can sleep without her, but since she’s not here…” She trailed off, shrugging.

“Would you like me to sit with you until you fall asleep?” I asked carefully.

Eloise twisted her lips, before nodding. “Please.”

I offered the girl a smile as I rose, and she placed the device and headphones down on the coffee table. I helped her through her nightly routine quietly, and didn’t move until her breathing evened out, and sleep claimed her.

By the time she’d fallen unconscious, Thea was on her second glass of wine in the kitchen, with a book in front of her. She didn’t bother looking up as I entered, but she hummed under her breath. “And you have mastered the toughest child. Congratulations.”

I snorted. “You simply could have said ‘treat her like an adult’,” I replied.

“And where’s the fun in that?” She finally looked up and grinned. “Anyway, she doesn’t really want to be treated like an adult. She wants to make her own choices while being a kid. Same as Ivy did when we were that age.”

My stomach clenched at the mention of my mate. There was still so much I didn’t know about her time growing up, just as she knew little of my life. The only difference was her wounds were still fresh. Mine had mostly healed. And that had taken two hundred years.

“Good night, Thea.”

Sipping her wine, she offered me a smile. “Night, Maeve.”

As I moved, I caught the slight change in her eyes. One moment, they were blue-green. Sometimes, more one colour than the other, which had never been odd. But for just a moment, the colour changed to gold.

I blinked, and it was gone. Thea returned to her book, and I started for my office, feeling all sorts of uncertain about her—more her species than anything.

The change made me think she was a shifter. But what type, I wasn’t sure.

Shaking my head, I entered the office and moved to my desk. The set-up wasn’t ideal; I only had a few of my personal items, since I hadn’t been back at the Phoenix Compound to pack my belongings. I was wary of giving up my office there. For the best part of a hundred and fifty years, I’d lived there almost full time.

I didn’t have an apartment like Rowan, or a room I returned to like Adrian. Elias had a small place in the shifter district, from memory, though he had sent someone to pack everything he owned and put it into storage.

I dropped onto my desk chair and switched on the desktop computer. As it read my magical signature, a message appeared from someone I’d hoped to not hear from for a long time.

My stomach bottomed out as I clicked on it. Blood rushed in my ears. It was yet another thing I hid from Ivy, something that might change her entire perspective of me.

I stared at the message for a long time before closing my eyes.

FOGHILL: Isadora Valhaven is dying, and Augustus may awake if I don’t find her next of kin. I thought you should know.

I hadn’t expected to hear from the vampire, especially not now, but over the last hundred and fifty years, he’d sent warnings like this. Only, the next witch destined to inherit him was usually there, ready to take over. Not this time it seemed.

I never responded. If Augustus woke, then I would deal with it. But so long as a Valhaven witch had him, my brother would sleep.

While Ivy protected her sisters and did everything within her power to keep them safe, I had a witch holding my own brother asleep. His state wasn’t just because of me—he’d been our Sire’s favourite pet, and he’d done damage just as I had. But where I’d chosen to join Queen Greer and surrender myself, he had chosen death. And all I’d done was stand back as they put him to sleep.

I opened my eyes and glanced at the message again.

Are you okay? Ivy asked, her soft voice sending a wave of calm through me. You don’t...feel okay.

I am now , I replied honestly. It was hard, not having her close. Gone only two days, and I already felt the itch, that need to be near her. Despite feeding only days ago, my hunger grew, and I wanted nothing more than her. Are you?

I tested the bond, and from her end, I felt tension, exhaustion. Her schedule was on my desk, so I glanced over the classes she had today.

A HISTORY OF WITCHES AND THE RISE OF MAGES

SPECIALTIES OF MAGIC

MAGICAL DEFENCE AND OFFENCE

STRATEGIES OF POWER

FOUNDATIONS OF THE COUNCIL

COMMUNICATION BETWEEN REALMS

Even I had to admit, they were heavy classes. Her schedule was packed with different political and history-based lessons, ones she’d need for her rule. The semester was full of ones I was sure she’d enjoy, others that would drain her, but they were the foundations of her rule.

Ivy was quiet a moment, but she was there. I really hate the defence class, she admitted. My mentor is a dick .

I stiffened. Who?

She laughed tiredly, resistant to my question. No one you need to worry about. I can deal with it. That’s kind of my job here, right? Learning how to deal with these people?

I suppose so, I replied. But I didn’t like that she wouldn’t tell me. I knew enough about the educators at the academy to understand why they worked the students so hard, but when it was my own mate...It was hard to calm the raging beast inside of me, the one that wanted to go there and tear her mentor apart.

Tell me more about your day , I said, almost pleading with her. The need to hear her voice, to know she was okay otherwise, overwhelmed me. Unlike the others, I wasn’t prepared for it—for the emotions tied to having a mate.

My brain is mush, she said, and I honestly don’t know how I feel about the day being split like it is. It’s going to be hard to get used to, especially because it means less time with you guys, but Headmistress Sylvia will be happy with all the work I’m forced to do. And I heard about the attack.

I never had the opportunity to attend an academy like Oberon. I’d gotten a great education at the Phoenix Compound; there were fantastic tutors there for those of us who had little knowledge about the world, so I hadn’t been left totally blind when it came to entering Avalon. But I had also once dreamed of more.

I shook my head of those thoughts, and instead listened as Ivy described her other classes. She told me how she found the History of Witches class the most interesting and was excited to know more about that particular side of history. Her second class of the day had been a bore, but mostly because she felt as though she couldn’t relate, since she wasn’t a witch. But she was at least glad Adrian would be her specialties mentor going forward, so she wouldn’t be alone there.

She glossed over her defence class, but I made note to ask Elias if he knew more about what’d happened. If she wouldn’t tell me, I feared she wouldn’t tell him, either. But she did mention how the gym was more like a battle arena, and I couldn’t help but smile at her description. Her other classes, however, were especially hard, because she knew she’d need them the most.

It’s all so...confusing, she said after a beat of silence. But I was never good at those kinds of classes in college, either.

We’ll help you through it , a mhuirnín . That’s why you have a council.

Her response was a groan, one that made my smile broaden. How Queen Greer managed is beyond me.

She had help, I pointed out.

Right. I could almost imagine her rolling her eyes, but her next question caught me off guard. Tell me something, Maeve. Anything. About you. Please.

My body went rigid as I tried to find the courage to do something—anything. She was giving me a chance to open up, and yet I was shutting down. That was my usual response to anyone trying to get...closer. I never succeeded in relationships before Ivy because I never wanted to be vulnerable.

But she’s your mate , I reminded myself. My Goddess given mate, my other half. The piece that completed me. The thing I’d been yearning for since I was Changed into this beast. She was the only thing that mattered anymore.

My eyes fluttered shut, and I sat back in my chair. I have a brother, I admitted.

Each second that passed had my heart pounding. It was something I’d told no one.

What’s he like? Ivy asked after a moment, her voice soft, reassuring, in my head. She sent a wave of calm ing energy down the bond, and it soothed the tension building within me.

He isn’t my brother by blood , I clarified. Unless you count the blood that Changed us. He and I share a Sire, and that made us siblings, I suppose. He and I may not have seen eye to eye often, but...but I still cared for him.

Where is he?

That was a question I was afraid to answer. But I did. A spell put him to sleep. At the request of Queen Greer. He was...dangerous. He took after our Sire, and that made him deadly to not just Avalon, but to humans. So, he was put to rest in the human world, in the basement of a house guarded by a powerful bloodline of witches. And that is where he will stay.

Her sadness flooded the bond. I’m so sorry, Maeve.

I shrugged, despite her not being here, not being able to see it. He committed terrible crimes. This was the only way for him to pay for that.

The more I spoke, the lighter I felt. Augustus had always been a dark, terrible secret. My Sire was a stain on my past, but my brother...he was the reason why I couldn’t risk losing Ivy.

Through the bond, I never felt any judgement from her. Never any disgust, or anger. Perhaps on my behalf, but never any directed at me.

I’m sorry that happened. Her voice turned quiet, and as I prodded the bond, I could tell she was nearly asleep.

Good night, a mhuirnín, I said.

Her bond went silent, and I forced myself to pull away from her. The tether between us went dark, and for the first time in years, a weight lifted off my chest.