25

IVY

REMNANTS of the dream plagued my waking thoughts, a constant swarm of memories that refused to go away. The pain was there, too, a hollowness in my chest where Ry should have been, his bond still quiet and dark. Despite everything, I wanted to reach out, to make sure he was at least okay. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. But if I’d learned anything since meeting the team; after Adrian nearly dying and the rush of power that had risen within me to keep him alive—if something had happened to Ry, then I would know —that any power would protect him if I could not.

I rubbed my sternum as Thea exited the suite, humming under her breath. She wore a flowing pink dress—so entirely not her usual style, yet I had to admit, it looked comfortable. One of the many things I was thankful for. Plenty of comfy clothes now gracing our walk-in closets.

Two steaming mugs of coffee landed on the glass table between the lounge chairs lining the balcony. The smell of vanilla from her cup assaulted my senses, more syrup than actual coffee.

“Your Majesty,” she quipped, curtseyeing before dropping onto the chair beside me.

The balcony outside my bedroom overlooked the waterfall and lake below. There was nothing stopping us from falling except a magical barrier that I refused to trust. Ginny and Maisie were banned, which meant we had total privacy away from little ears.

I rolled my eyes, taking the coffee and cupping it between my cold hands. I breathed in the caramel syrup that was swirled atop mine and smiled. “You should practice those. It was pretty pathetic,” I replied.

Thea snorted, but she stretched out beside me, a groan leaving her lips. “When you get that fancy crown, I’ll go to lessons.” I kept my eyes glued on the waterfall despite knowing she watched me. Even though it was so close, it seemed to make no noise. I chalked it up to magic, like everything nowadays.

After a long moment, she sighed, and finally looked away. “You want to talk about it?” she asked carefully, like she thought I might break.

It was possible. I was capable of it. Being torn in a thousand different directions certainly didn’t help my fragility.

But I hated feeling so pathetic .

I shrugged, bringing the mug to my lips. “I’m not sure.”

“You can talk to me about it.” I turned to her, and she offered me a half-smile. “Perks of having a best friend. And I won’t lie—I kind of miss you.”

A lump formed in my throat as I met her smile with one of my own. “I miss you, too.”

“You should. I’m the best.” The smile turned cocky as she settled back to take in the waterfall. “It’s so fucking pretty out here. Honestly, I know you’ll be getting some fancy ass wing of the palace, but I could stay here.”

I chuckled lightly as I returned to staring out over the huge mountain. The water sparkled under the sun, while a light dusting of clouds obscured the top of the cliff. Even from our perch, I could make out a few people enjoying the lake below. It might have been winter back home, but here it felt like spring.

Warmth settled across my skin, the chill in my bones finally moving out.“It really is magical,” I admitted. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.”

“Me neither.” Thea hummed again under her breath, reaching for her own mug.“I wonder who the creatures are living in the little houses. It’s pretty cool, the way they line the cliff.”

I nodded in agreement and sipped my coffee. It wasn’t what she really wanted to talk about, but I appreciated her attempt in trying to keep my thoughts preoccupied. But I did miss her, in a way that made my chest ache. Now that we were in Avalon, how much time would we really have together? Yesterday, just spending the day in bed with her and the children, I’d felt more like...me. Like the old Ivy. But I had to get used to splitting my time, now. I should have known after everything that happened at the safe house, this was going to happen. But it didn’t make it any easier.

It was just another reminder that the things that made me feel whole and me weren ’t always going to be here.

“I don’t feel him like I used to, ” I said, finally voicing the fear I’d been dwelling on since the meeting with Queen Greer. “And my magic feels...different now. Like the nightmare did something to it. Like even it is scared.”

“Have you told anyone else?” Thea asked quietly.

I brought the mug back to my lips, relishing in the warmth it offered. “No.”

She grunted, and I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. “The supes should know,” she murmured. “They’re your mates. I mean, I’m your best friend, so always tell me first. But you should probably tell them about this.”

I closed my eyes, breathing a sigh, knowing she was right. “I’m scared. It’s like every step forward, we take five steps back. This whole— him situation just reminds me of that. ”

Thea snorted, and I heard her mug hit the glass table. “Stop focusing on the steps back. This is just another clue. He’s got to be here, right? Somewhere close. You know he’s at least alive.”

“I hope so,” I replied. The whisper of pain from the bond made me wince and lower the mug to my lap. “I don’t know. Honestly, I’m just...tired. And torn.”

“You want him, but you also don’t want him,” she guessed, and I nodded. “That sounds...difficult.”

She wasn’t wrong. It was like a war inside my heart. To accept him would mean accepting his betrayal, but on the other hand, I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive without him. But what lengths would I have to go to in order to accept what he’s done? How much hurt could I really forgive?

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?” Thea asked, her stare a heavy weight again, burning into the side of my skull.

My heart clenched, guilt rushing through me. “I don’t know,” I whispered, glancing at her. Her blue-green eyes softened, but she pursed her lips. “I wanted to. But I was embarrassed. Hurt. Broken. I had the glamour affecting me. But I still would have told you. I just didn’t know how.”

“I never would have judged you. And neither will the others.” When I met her stare, she raised a brow and sighed. “You’re holding back from them again, Ives. Whether you’re protecting yourself, or that mystery mate of yours. Doesn’t matter. They’ll do anything for you, and they won’t judge you for how you feel about him.”

I blew out a shaky breath and sat back to stare at the waterfall again. She was right and I knew it. As much as I feared the truth, feared what might happen if I let them into this side of me, I knew they wouldn’t judge me. It meant trusting them with a part of me that I’d held back for eight years. A secret that had been completely mine. A past I hadn’t wanted to relive because doing so would mean heartache all over again.

But if I wanted to find him, to fix what his departure broke, then I would need to trust my mates.

Which was definitely easier said than done.

~

I was reaching the point of no return. A moment that ultimately decided everything.

My first real lesson on how to be a proper Daughter of Nyx.

I’m going to be sick , I thought, pressing a hand to my churning belly.

Maeve took my hand and squeezed my fingers lightly. “All will be okay.”

I nodded, but anxiety continued to swirl in my gut, twisting around my insides until it became hard to breathe. “It’s just a lesson,” I muttered, more for myself than her. “An introduction into all things Daughter of Nyx.”

“Yes,” Maeve agreed, entwining our fingers as the doors to the elevator opened, and we were dropped off in the same hall from the night before. “You don’t have to attend. Queen Greer said if you are still affected by the nightmare, the lesson can be postponed.”

Glancing at Maeve, I sighed. “I’ll be fine.”

My vampire mate pursed her lips, but she didn’t say anything more as she guided me towards the meeting room from yesterday. Much like before, it was warm and elegant, but rather than a simple coffee station at the end of the table, a small buffet of food and drink had been set up against the far wall. A short female stood beside it, wearing a dark, tailored suit similar to the ones we saw our first day here.

Queen Greer was already waiting, this time without Lazarus and Amais. Instead, she had Sir Theon with her; the male bowed his head in acknowledgement, while her other mate glanced up and stared at us curiously. He was one of the few I hadn’t been introduced to, and though I vaguely recognised him from our first day, I couldn’t tell what kind of creature he was.

That is Sir Otto, Maeve explained, leading me to one of the chairs across from Greer. Mind mage. And one of Queen Greer’s oldest mates.

Thank Nyx for Maeve.

“Ivy, you are looking much better,” the Queen offered, smiling as I sat across from her. “Are you hungry?”

Anxiety twisted my insides; the last thing I needed was to puke in front of Adrian’s family. I rested my hands in my lap. “No, I’ll be okay for now, thank you.”

Greer nodded, while Maeve caressed the bond. Tell me what you need, and I will retrieve it, a mhuirnín .

Reaching between us, I took her hand. I’ll be okay. Maeve’s lips thinned, but she nodded, and we turned back to Greer.

“I’m looking forward to understanding more about this...role,” I said, tensing as all eyes turned on me. “More about all of this.”

The Queen cocked her head. “I know it is difficult. You and I come from different worlds. The middle ages were a time of great strife in our world. The rise and fall of Empires. Humans were making great discoveries and starting terrible wars. It was the end and the beginning of the modern world. But you come from a time with different expectations. I accepted the calling of Nyx because I wished to escape before war descended on my people, and I could be claimed by the enemy as a prize. But your past makes this so different.”

A tightness built in my throat as she spoke. It was hard to comprehend that she had come from my world, that once, she’d been in my place. She seemed so in tune with her role as Queen, and it was hard to imagine that I could ever reach that same level.

“But you will find your footing,” she continued, gaze softening. “I will be here until you are crowned.”

“And after that?” I asked.

“I will return to Nyx.” Atop the table, Theon took her hand, and her eyes softened. “It will be difficult, but every Queen before you has walked this path. We have been mentored, but we must all find our own way forward, so that we can rule the way Nyx intended.”

A lump formed in my throat, but I nodded. “How long? Until I’m crowned, then? I’d like to learn from you for as long as possible.”

Queen Greer chuckled. “We will take it slow. This is why your time at Oberon is so imperative. There, you will learn skills that I am no longer strong enough to teach you. They will educate you on the politics of our world. But these lessons will be just us. The Daughters of Nyx. There will be time spent teaching you how to be Queen. But in order to rule effectively, you must understand how powerful you truly are.”

It didn’t sit right, knowing there wasn’t a time frame, but I refrained from asking her again. Not with the sadness entering the expressions of Theon and Otto.

I sighed, sitting straighter. “Where do we start, then?”

Queen Greer smiled, and between us appeared a similar illusion to the one Captain Vale had conjured on the ship. “We start with our history.” She moved her hand over the table and the image shifted to reveal a familiar set of people. “Queen Pandora, the first Daughter of Nyx.”

“The Captain of the ferry told me her story.” Despite the strange wrongness of my magic, it still stirred at the mention of its first wielder, awakening from its slumber in curiosity. “She had three mates.”

The Queen nodded. “She is the reason for which we have bonds. But she was not the first to have a mate. Creatures of Nyx had mates before Pandora. However, before Pandora rose to power, the bonds were different. Instinctual. Now, they are magical. Nyx blessed Pandora with a type of love that needed to be shared amongst all Her creatures. And as such, all came to receive the same blessing.”

As she spoke, the image shifted again to reveal a map of a different world. My magic twinged inside me, almost like it was sad seeing it. “The role of Queen is still similar, and yet different times call for different rulers. Pandora was the first as she stood between the destruction of the Old World and the human world. Her rule was to establish a new order for Nyx’s creatures and unite them with the Fae and the Demons.” I looked up from the map and met Queen Greer’s eye. “We are the balance between worlds. The balance of power. The reason we exist is to keep the realms as they are.”

“Which is why it is so difficult, knowing there is someone actively trying to change that,” Sir Otto said. He had a deep voice, and like Theon, an accent. “Anyone with knowledge of our history would know that destroying the Daughter of Nyx would ensure death upon us all.”