Chapter 36

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

EVEREST

I bent over the sink and splashed cold water on my face.

Again.

It wasn't working. I still wanted to bury my face in the toilet bowl and vomit everything inside of me. My hands trembled. My stomach was in knots. My pulse was racing so damn fast I couldn't determine one beat from the next.

I couldn't seem to catch a break. It was Murphy's Law. Everything that could go wrong would go wrong. At least when it came to all things Francelina. Fate was calling my bluff, forcing my hand. But I had to hold on a little longer. It was too soon. I'd waited this long, surely I could wait a little longer to make my exit at the right time.

Sweyn sent me to find her.

She wanted revenge.

But that hadn't meant I had to interact with her. I was damn good at lurking in the darkness of shadows where no one could see me. Sweyn wasn't checking up on me. She trusted me blindly and unconditionally. I should have kept my distance and just watched Francelina until Sweyn made her move. I'd been there for days watching without her knowing. I'd even seen Tennessee there disguised as that little stumbling Archie. It was a brilliant move to have him there. She was safe with him. I could have kept my distance, but then that demon attack happened.

I hadn't been able to resist the urge to see her with my own eyes up close. The look on her face when she'd seen me . . . I wasn't strong enough to ignore it. Not when she left Avolire the way she had. Not when I knew the moment her memories returned she would hate me. So, I succumbed to my weakness, to my desires for her. I let myself have those stolen moments that would make her hate me even more later. By now she was back with The Coven, her memories returned and all the happenings of Avolire fresh in her mind.

Last night in that tower had broken something inside of me. I didn't know if I would be able to keep my emotions in check much longer. I didn't know how long I could play this game. A thousand years down the drain . . . because of one tender stolen night.

I groaned as my stomach rolled.

Movement behind me caught my eye. Not many could sneak up on me, but she was rather gifted at it. I looked up and met her stare through the mirror. There were things I needed to say to her, to tell her . . . to ask her. Yet I feared if I opened my mouth, the bile sitting high in my throat would unleash.

"I warned you," she all but growled.

I exhaled through my nose and nodded.

"I told you to stay away. I told you not to let her see you. I begged you to let me go in your place."

"No ," was all I managed to get out, but it was barely more than a whisper. I couldn't ask that of you.

She tucked her black hair behind her diamond-studded ears, then crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the bathroom doorframe. When she was furious like this, the red rims in her eyes nearly drowned out the hazel-gold color of her irises. She glared at me through the mirror, looking fierce in her pristine, tailored white pantsuit.

"No? No. Right. Perfect." She shook her head and pursed her red-painted lips. "You're going to get all of us an eternity of torture in her realm because you won't let me help you."

I snarled and clenched my teeth.

"Go ahead. Snarl. Might I remind you I'm the only one who is not afraid of you." She stepped closer and put her hands on her hips. "Might I remind you why I don't fear you?"

" Saber, " I growled. "Stop."

"Stop? Stop ?" She threw her hands up and began pacing the bathroom of the cabin we were in. "When are you going to let me help you? Can't you see what this is doing to you?"

I hung my head and gripped the sink harder as my stomach rolled again.

"You have to stay away from her," she snapped, bringing my eyes back up to hers through the mirror. "Being near her is killing you."

All I could do was stare. She wasn't wrong, and we both knew it.

"You've waited too long to not survive this." She shook her head. "I warned you not to let yourself go too numb, and now look at you."

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't. Don't do that." She pointed to my reflection. "We need you alive."

"Saber . . ."

" I need you alive, dammit." She stomped her foot as her emotions began to unravel. Her cheeks flushed. "We're so close to being free. Don't do that to me."

My heart sank and my chest grew tight. "I'm trying?—"

" Try harder. " She grabbed my arm and spun me around to face her for real. "I don't want to survive this war without you, do you understand me? Forget Sam, forget Francelina. I'm the one who has been here this whole time. Me. Right here with you every step of the way. I don't care what you feel for them, for her."

I cringed.

" I love you, " she whispered just loud enough for me to hear. She shook her head and her hair came loose. " You made me a promise a long time ago. Don't make me lose you now that we're at the finish line. "

" You won't, " I whispered back and tucked her hair back behind her ear. "I've got this under control."

"Do you? Really? Because I wasn't aware the Unseelie attacking The Coven was part of the plan yet."

I groaned.

"And then you attacked the sentinels? You've lost your mind. You risked everything with that stupid move . . . for her." She licked her lips and shook her head again, this time looking away from me. "You're breaking your promises and that scares me. If you love me as much as you say you do, then you'll stop risking us to protect her."

I opened my mouth to argue when my vision turned red. Saber dove out of the bathroom and out of sight. I spun back to the mirror as my vision pulsed in shades of red. Mother was livid. I took a deep breath and forced myself to stand upright. I had to play the part Mother needed to see. Once I felt in control, I flicked my wrist and sent my black magic into the mirror.

" Offspring," she growled, and it echoed off the bathroom walls. Her face appeared in the mirror, blocking out my reflection. Her red eyes blazed with rage.

"Mother."

" Where are you? We have things to do ? —"

"Like breaking yet another one of our strategies on a whim?" I arched one eyebrow at her and forced my voice to sound calm. "The Unseelie were not part of our plan at this stage."

"I want them dead."

I gripped the edge of the sink, leaned in closer, and growled. "And how did that go, Mother?"

She snarled and flicked her white hair over her shoulder. "I want Haven Proctor's head?—"

"Everest, what's taking so long?" Saber stepped into the doorway of the bathroom wearing the tiniest red lingerie I'd ever seen. She knew Lilith was speaking to me through the mirror, though she couldn't see her. But Saber knew how to play the game better than even I did. She gripped the doorframe and struck a seductive pose, then batted her eyelashes at me. "Come to bed. Now."

Then she licked the tip of her fang and sashayed into the bedroom where she was just visible enough to watch her lay herself out like a dish I was about to devour.

" Offspring, " Mother growled. "We have battle strategies to form this night. You do not have time to play with your toys. Get back to Avolire to your bride so we can proceed."

I glanced over my shoulder and eyed Saber in that bed, then turned my attention back to my mother and snarled. "Unlike you, Mother, I know how to stick to a plan. And tonight, as you can see, I have plans of my own."