Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

FRANKIE

"When do Aaron and Jacob come back to school?"

"Too soon," Archie grumbled.

Tomás pushed the gym door open, then held it for us. "They had a three-day suspension, so they'll be back in school Friday."

I slid my sunglasses off the top of my head onto my face. "I don't want to fight them. I'm just not afraid to. There's a difference. Everyone else sees this, right? I'm not a hothead."

Archie made a face.

I gasped dramatically and pressed my hand to my chest. "I'm not!"

He chuckled and shrugged one shoulder. "You're not. But you're like a bomb that's fully ready to explode at all times. All someone has to do is push the button and boom ."

"Yeah, I know." I grabbed Archie's arm and yanked him toward me just before he tripped over a student who'd stopped to tie their shoes. "My therapist back home was working on that. I probably need to find a new one here. I just . . . I'm just . . . It's like . . ."

"Like you have some vendetta against the world but no targets to use that aggression on?"

"Yes. That." I chuckled nervously. "But I'm not a jerk to my friends?—"

"No," Archie and Tomás said at the same time.

"Honestly, I think it was your magic." Tomás gave me a soft smile, the one he used when he wasn't trying to flirt with me. "You said your magic had been lost since you were four? I bet all that magic trapped inside of you with no outlet festered like a wound."

I stopped so fast Archie crashed into my back. He cursed and leapt back only to collide with the person behind him.It was just limbs flying in every direction and a lot of cursing. I grabbed his arm and yanked him back to his feet. The girl he'd crashed into was already on her feet and running away from us with a glare.

"Sorry, Archie,"I said with a grimace and tried to fix his denim jacket.

"I'm good, I'm good." He held his hands up and nodded. "I'm just lightweight and fly easily. Please continue, Tomás."

"I was just thinking maybe that's why she feels angry all the time. Repressed magic."

"Do you think that's it? Really?"

Archie snatched his backpack off the ground. "That makes a lot of sense."

Tomás nodded. "I had the same problem when I was a kid. A witch therapist actually pointed it out."

"You're good now though. What did you do to fix it?"

Tomás reached into the pocket of his black jeans and pulled out a bright royal blue crystal with swirls of lighter blue and gold. "Take this."

The stone was about the size of my palm. It was a fat little oval that wasn't even as thick as my pinky finger. It had a slightly curved indention on one side that helped it fit snug to the curve of my palm. Instinctively, I wrapped my fingers around it and squeezed.

"That's a lapis lazuli palm stone. This stone has quite a history with lots of different meanings, but among those are harmony, clarity, spiritual growth, inner power . . . stuff like that. It's often used as an aura tool to unlock your intuition and purify your energy." He tapped on my fingers wrapped around it. "It's said if you hold this stone in the palm of your hand, it'll bring about deep inner knowledge, clarity of the mind, and relief from chaos."

"This helped you not react so . . . explosively?"

He chuckled. "Well, I was never quite like you, but yes, it helped me."

"If it's too much, you can tone it down by holding amethyst with it."

We both looked to Archie.

He shrugged. "I know stuff too."

"I need to get me one of these?—"

"You can have that one."

"No, it's yours. It was in your pocket?—"

"So I'd have it to give away." Tomás cheeks flushed pink. "Esther's mom told me a stone like this must be passed on from one witch to another, to help my fellow arcana in a time of need. She said I'd know when . . . and here you are. Needing it. So, it's for you, for now, then you can pass it along."

I smiled up at him as we made a shortcut across the grass. "Thank you. Really. This is so sweet. I never knew crystals had so much meaning."

"So your ring is a coincidence then?"

I held my right hand up to look at my crystal ring. Elizabeth wore a matching one. We both wore them on our middle fingers because the stone was so huge we thought it needed the balance. "My bestie and I bought matching ones years ago. We always wear them. I don't even know the name of this stone?—"

"Clear quartz." Tomás frowned. "I'll be honest, crystals aren't really my thing. I only knew the other one because I was told. Archie?"

"Clear quartz is kind of like a powerhouse stone. It's for all chakras. It's like the mega stone, definitely the most versatile healing stone." He was inspecting my ring with sharp concentration. "It's also an amplifier so you can put it with another stone to give it a power boost. A lot of people will use it for cleansing, like for their tarot decks and stuff."

I shook my head. "Do you have a book on this shit?"

"Yeah, we can get—" his words cut off as his toe caught the edge of the sidewalk from the grass. In slow motion, he flew straight into me at just the right angle that I toppled over and crashed into Tomás before all three of us tumbled to the sidewalk. "We can get you a few books."

We laughed and lay there on the cement in defeat.

"Archie, my man, we've got to work on your coordination before you hurt yourself," Tomás said between laughs. "Or us ."

"Crystals or some shit." I pursed my lips and nodded. "Maybe we oughta ask Esther."

Archie was the first to get back to his feet. He ran his hands through his dark-red hair to brush strands of grass out. "I don't know. Keeps me tough."

"TOMáS!"

We all jumped and spun around until we spotted Seamus hobbling toward us carrying Rootbeer in his arms. The golden retriever was panting and looking a little distressed, which meant Seamus was super distraught. His blue eyes were wide and panicked.

"Seamus? What's wrong?" Tomás hurried over to them. "What happened to her?"

He sighed. "She's a little overheated. She's just a baby?—"

"She's almost two years old?—"

" She's just a baby, Tomás . "

"Right. Right, she's a baby." Tomás rubbed her ears. "Where's her bag with her fan and stuff?"

"I forgot it. I was running late for my test, and I just forgot it." Seamus's eyes glistened like he was going to cry. "I don't have a car?—"

"Come on, I'll drive you home so you can both cool off." We were close enough to the parking lot that Tomás was able to unlock his car and have the beep beep be audible.

"Oh, Archie, can you tell Ava for me?" Seamus yelled back to us.

"I'll find Ava. No worries." Archie gave him a salute. "Frankie, I'll catch up with you at the picnic tables, ‘kay?"

"Yeah, of course. Go get Ava." I sighed and headed into the cafeteria alone. All of my anxiousness came rushing back tenfold. But the lapis lazuli crystal felt nice in my palm, so I squeezed it tight and focused on the cold air-conditioning hitting me and not the weird looks from students. "Where are you, Esther? "

When I didn't see her or anyone in our group, I shot her a quick text. ‘ I'm getting in the cafeteria food line, want anything?'

By the time I actually got into the line, Esther had responded. ‘ Grab me some chicken nuggets plz? Meet you in the line.'

I nodded and shoved my phone back in my pocket as my thoughts drifted to what they guys had taught me about repressed magic. I needed to learn more about this and see if that was actually my problem. Naturally, a human therapist wouldn't have any knowledge of it, so it would've gone undiagnosed.

"Cool Stones shirt."

I looked up and found a dude in a white polo shirt leaning against the wall in front of me. It took me a second to remember I'd put on my old Rolling Stones graphic T-shirt this morning, the one with the logo in neon colors. "Oh. Thanks."

"Name three songs."

I exhaled through my nose and squeezed my palm stone. Don't react. Don't explode on him. Not worth it. "Pardon me?"

"I said . . ." he grinned and pointed to my t-shirt, ". . . name three songs by them."

Just give him a chance to realize he's being a dick. Don't react. "Name three songs by the Rolling Stones?"

"Yeah."

He wasn't getting it. I crossed my arms over my chest and power gripped my palm stone. "Why do you do that?"

He frowned. "What?"

"I said . . . why do that?" I gestured to my shirt. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the other students in line looking at us. The palm stone was still gripped tight in my hand but didn't seem to be doing much good yet. "Do you get some sick satisfaction out of belittling people in public and embarrassing them? Does it fill a void in your little heart? Get you off a little?"

He glanced around at the other students and laughed nervously. "No, of course not."

I nodded. Keep your voice calm and low. You can correct his behavior without snapping. "Then allow me to repeat myself. Why do you do that?"

"Why do chicks wear shirts for bands they don't know?"

That bomb just went off. Some subconscious part of my brain was watching this moment from the outside and knew that I wasn't that easily offended yet I couldn't keep it in anymore. This was the bomb Archie meant. "Would it make you feel good if I can't name them? Would you feel better making me look stupid? Because you look like an asshole. In fact, you look like an asshole either way. If I can name three songs, then I've put you in your place and beat you at your own game. Now you look stupid. If I can't name them, then you celebrate your victory and look like an asshole. So, I really don't see what's in it for you to ask such a thing."

He just stared at me with his jaw hanging open.

"I mean, what if I'm one of those people who can sing every lyric but can't ever remember the title of songs? What if I'm new to the band and like their work and wanted to support them by wearing their shirt but I haven't learned their song titles? What if the shirt was a gift from someone I care about and I didn't want to offend them by returning it? What if it was my boyfriend's shirt and I wanted to wear it because it smelled like him? What if I spilled orange juice all over my shirt and a friend loaned this to me? What if I'm poor and the only clothes I can afford are from a thrift shop and this was all they had that fit me?"

"Okay, okay, look?—"

"No, let's keep going. After all, you're the one who started this. You called me out when I was just standing here quietly. So, what about those contexts for me wearing this? Or, how about this, what if I saw it on the rack at Forever 21 and just thought it was fucking pretty so I bought it?" I arched one eyebrow. "Because that's allowed too."

"I know that."

"Do you?" I cocked my head to the side. "Then why did you ask? We've circled back to that question."

"People just wear shit they don't know all the time and it's weird!"

"People . . . or women?" I crossed my arms. "Because there are four guys in my line of sight right now all wearing different band shirts, and you did not ask a single one of them to name three songs. In fact, you just previously said chicks not people. Did you think I missed that?"

His jaw dropped. Around us, other students snickered and laughed.

"Listen, I don't entirely disagree. People wearing merch for things they don't know is a little odd to me. Like when my aunt wears Star Wars shirts despite refusing to watch any of the movies. I may tease her about it at home, in private, but I'd never belittle her by commenting on it in public. Just like I haven't asked those four guys to name songs from their band shirts. Or how I haven't asked you to give me three quotes from any character from The Office that isn't Michael, Dwight, or Jim—ya know, since you're wearing that Dunder Mifflin shirt." I shrugged one shoulder. "See how easy it is to not be a dick?"

"I wasn't trying to be a dick?—"

"Are you sure?" I narrowed my eyes on him. "By the way, it's my dead father's shirt. His older brother bought it for him at the concert he took him to as a teenager. My uncle gave it to me."

The kid looked green and sick to his stomach.

"So, like I said, do you feel better now?"

"I didn't know that," he said softly.

"No, you didn't. How could you? That's the whole fucking point. And for the record, no I don't feel better calling you out right now. It feels shitty. But over my dead body am I going to let you belittle me over a fucking band shirt. Be more creative."

"I'm sorry."

"But ya know what? Just for you: Satisfaction. Start me Up. Jumping Jack flash. Paint it Black. Sympathy for the Devil. Honkey Tonk women. Or my personal favorite, Beast of Burden. Just to name a few." I smiled big. "There, feel better?"

"Franks?" Esther hissed my name a second before she grabbed my elbow and dragged me away. "C'mon, let's go."

I let her drag me away, but as we walked back outside, I realized we hadn't gotten food. "Wait, food?—"

"Ava told us to the lunches she'd already gotten." Esther grimaced. "She took off home after Archie told her."

"I hope she's okay?—"

"Me too. Ava said she'd update us when she got to them. Seamus . . . well, he panics a little with his fur baby."

That made me smile. "I do, too. So is Archie out here?"

"Nah, Peabo, and Atley dragged him away for something. I don't know." She hooked her arm around my elbow. "So, are you okay?"

I scowled. "Why do you ask?"

"You were just telling a teenager off for asking about your shirt."

I rolled my eyes. "I loathe when men do that, quiz me on what I'm wearing. It's disgusting."

"You're gripping that palm stone like it's an oxygen tank?—"

"Oh." I uncurled my fingers to show it to her. "Tomás gave it to me. He and Archie think it might help me. They think my repressed magic might be what makes me so angry at the world and one blink away from exploding on some pathetic teenager in a lunch line being a dick about my band shirt."

She didn't laugh or scoff, she just nodded. "They may have a point. So, it's definitely worth looking into. Repressed magic is dangerous. We can ask my mom what she thinks. For now hang on to Tomás's palm stone. It's an old powerful one that's been passed down for generations from South America."

"I don't feel bad for calling that guy out. Or the creep at the gas station. Or Aaron and Jacob. But it'd be nice to feel a little more in control of my emotions." Then I really looked at my new friend and found slight bags under her gray eyes that were a little bloodshot and dark. "Esther, are you okay? You weren't in gym class today."

"I had a migraine so I went to the nurse to lie down. She's one of us, so she gets it." She let out a deep breath. "But I didn't really sleep last night, I had like three weird dreams about you."

"I had a weird dream about me too." But then her words really sank in, and I remembered what she'd told me the night before. "Wait, what did you see? What's your intuition trying to tell you?"

"I'm not sure. That's also weird. Normally I can put words to what I'm feeling, but with you I can't."

I looked up and spotted Birdie, Madge, and Jo sitting at the main table in the middle. And then I noticed a smaller version of Birdie at the edge of the table. Across from her was an even younger girl with bright silver eyes and dirty blonde hair worn in a side braid.

Birdie followed my gaze, then smiled. "Frankie, this is my little sister, Lesleigh."

The girl looked up from whatever she was doodling in a notebook and grinned. "Hi. This is my friend Aspen Tarbell."

Aspen's face lacked the same happiness as Lesleigh's. Sure, those silver eyes were bright and sparkling, but that had everything to do with the sunlight and not the emotion pouring out of her. She managed a small, toothless smile. "Nice to meet you."

I waved at them. "Nice to meet you too. Thanks for joining us for lunch. I like meeting people in small groups."

Aspen's smile widened ever so slightly. "Yeah, I don't like big groups either if I'm expected to talk. If I'm not, then big groups are cool so I can hide in them."

I opened my mouth, then shut it. "Well . . . shit, kid. That's true."

We all laughed, which seemed to make Aspen's aura a little lighter if only for a second.

"So, Esther, what's wrong?" Birdie leaned across the table and dangled her talisman charm. "Spill or I'll use this against you."

Esther rolled her eyes. "Nothing. I was just telling Frankie I had some weird dreams about her last night."

"How weird?" Jo asked with her pretty but thick accent. Her platinum blonde hair was rocking an 80's style wave today. " Est-ce que quelque chose de grave va lui arriver? "

Madge scowled so hard it wrinkled that space between her eyebrows. "Yeah, what Jo said. Is something bad gonna happen for her? Like that kind of weird dream?—"

"No, no, no, no, no." Esther waved her hands in front of her, then reached for a chicken nugget. "More like . . . more like . . . usually, I pick up on things about arcana, ya know?"

"It's true, you read us all so well." Madge used a napkin to wipe off her purple lipstick before picking up her burger off the plate. "But you can't see Pink?"

Esther looked at me with gray eyes that looked like a thunderstorm before a hurricane. "No. It's . . . it's like there's too much to see that I can't see anything specific. Her aura is insane?—"

"Is it the repressed magic?" I held up the palm stone.

When the other girls frowned, I filled them in on what the boys told me. They frowned even harder.

" Te sens-tu tout le temps en colère?"

" Um . . . Madge?"

Madge flinched, then realized what I needed and covered her mouth with her hand. "She asked if you feel angry all the time."

"Oh. I mean, yes and no? Like, I'm good and fine and happy, but the slightest little thing and I'm pissed off." I pointed to my shirt. "Just now some random kid was being an ass and demanded I name three Rolling Stones songs as if I needed to prove I was allowed to wear the shirt. I could've just ignored him or rolled my eyes, or named three songs and let it go. But no, I had to confront him on his shit."

"I don't see the problem with this." Madge licked her lips and waved her burger toward the building. "Prick deserved it."

"Yeah, but it's not in the details here." I frowned and tried to find my words. "It's like . . . I look forward to when people give me a reason to tell them off. I shouldn't want a reason to be a bitch."

They all nodded, their gazes distant like they were thinking.

Jo blew a big hot-pink bubble with her gum, then popped it. She pointed her coffin-shaped nail at me. "Pendant combien de temps a-t-elle été réprimée?"

"Good question, love." Madge leaned forward like she was looking for something. "You look normal and feel normal . . . How long was it repressed?"

"Since I was four, evidently."

"So twelve years?—"

"Fourteen, actually." When they all frowned, I smirked. "I'm eighteen. My aunt and uncle held me back after my parents died so I started kindergarten two years late."

" Merde. "

I snorted-laughed. " Merde indeed, Jo."

Madge used her burger to point at me. "Fourteen years is a long time. I bet it's the reason for your unease and need for an outlet. Your magic has been screaming to get out."

Birdie tapped on the table in front of her. "Esther? What are you thinking? You've been really quiet. I know you don't like to play the family card, but fact is fact, you're different than us. So, think out loud, that way we can help."

That made me smile. These girls knew that Esther's family was special, and while they made lighthearted jokes about it, when it came down to serious stuff, they respected it. They knew the magic in Esther's bloodline made her magic more potent than theirs, and they relied on it in moments of stress. Their hearts were in the right place. It just made me worry more about Esther.

"I'd like to read Frankie's tarot cards," she answered without looking at me. Finally, she turned her gaze to me. "I wanna see what we can find. At least start with those before I dive deeper. Repressed magic can be tricky to unload."

I shoved three fries in my mouth, then rubbed my hands together. "Okay, do I have to do anything for that, and can we do it now?"

"Nope, and yes, we can." She reached into her backpack and pulled out a purple velvet bag with a silk drawstring. "So have you ever had a tarot card reading?"

"Never. I know nothing."

"Right. So, tarot cards are sort of like a vessel that taps into the magical essence of our world and serves as a tool for us to use to try and get guidance and deeper understanding of what's going on in our lives."

I blinked. "That was eloquent as fuck."

She snort-laughed, then hung her hand and giggled. "I needed that laugh. Thank you."

"So how does it work ?"

"I think about what I need to know while I shuffle the cards and then I lay them out and interpret the meanings based on the images."

I leaned forward to look as she pulled a huge duck of cards out of that velvet bag. They were taller than normal playing cards and looked a bit wider too. The edges of them were like a neon-hot-pink not too far off from my hair color. The cards themselves were painted in shades of pink, purple, and blue like clouds in a sunset. As she held the deck up, I saw the back of them had something that was metallic gold that shimmered as she moved, and they reflected the sunlight. I watched closely as she split the deck into three piles and then shuffled them back together.

"I don't do spreads like most people do." Esther shuffled the deck quicker than I'd ever seen someone shuffle. "You'll see."

"Those cards are gorgeous."

"Thank you." She beamed up at me as she shuffled. "Okay, let's get started. Frankie, while I shuffle, I just need you to breathe and try to give me your energy, throw it into the cards, ‘kay?"

Throw my energy into the cards. Right. Whatever that means. No big deal.

Focus, Frankie.

I took a deep breath, then let it out. The movement of the cards between her hands was almost hypnotic. I focused my eyes on them and imagined my energy flowing out of me like waves rolling onto the beach.

" Goddess, show me what I need to see for Frankie," Esther whispered as she continued to shuffle.

After a few seconds, she sat the deck down on the picnic table and flipped the top card. She cringed. Birdie, Madge, and Jo shuddered.

"What?" I leaned forward and picked up the card lying face up.

The card was a pale pink with metallic gold markings that looked kind of like shooting stars emerging from a pillar. Oh wait, are those supposed to be like fireballs? At the bottom of the card it said, ‘ XVI THE TOWER'. I frowned. I remembered them telling me The Coven was represented by the major arcana, but I wasn't sure if this was one of them.

I cleared my throat and sat the card back down. "What does this mean? The Tower? Is that one of The Coven's Cards?"

"When doing tarot readings like this, pulling a major arcana does not symbolize Coven-members," Birdie said softly, her eyes locked on the card like it was a snake about to bite. "The cards all have their own meanings."

"Okay, what does this one mean?"

Esther exhaled and tapped her fingers on it. "The tower?—"

" Merde, " Jo whispered.

"Why shit? Esther?"

"The tower is the most dreaded card in a reading." Esther grimaced. "It represents swift change, like disaster and upheaval. It's like your life is imploding or is about to. It's abrupt change in the most aggressive ways."

"Pull a clarifier." Madge shuddered and sat her burger down in disgust. "Or several."

Esther flipped another card, then scowled. She flipped a third card and shook her head.

"What are those?"

"Death, Justice, and Judgement."

Jo spit her bubblegum out on a napkin. " Non? C'est vrai? Ce n'est pas possible. As-tu mélangé les cartes? "

"I shuffled," Esther hissed.

My pulse quickened. "Okay, do those cards mean how they sound?"

"Death means change, not actual death, but change in the way of evolution. Not as violent as the tower." Esther pointed to the other two. "Those sound about right. Let me reshuffle. I wanna do something different."

Before I could say another word, she scooped all the cards back up and began shuffling. " Goddess, send to me the Hermit so I may see within her soul. "

She sat the deck down but held her palm on top. Gold and navy-blue glitter sparkled beneath her fingers for a split second. I jumped, but the others did not. When she moved her hand, we all groaned.

The tower card stared up at us.

Esther squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head sadly. "Your soul is changing, Frankie. This is why I cannot read you the way I normally can."

" Tire plus. Maintenant. " Jo waved her hand, then she hissed and flipped the next card. " Oh, ce n'est pas mal."

"Bad? No. The Ace of Pentacles signifies having the means to manifest your goals. Madge? "

Madge had flipped another card. "King of Swords."

"A calm, powerful ruler led by intellectual power." Esther tapped her nails on the table. "So, again, it says your soul is changing, but . . . maybe you're the one intentionally trying to change? Let's see if we can get some advice for you on that."

She collected the cards again and reshuffled at an impressive speed. " Goddess, send to me the World for advice on these changes. " Gold and navy-blue glitter sparkled beneath her fingers again.

I wasn't surprised to find The World Card sitting face-up on the table. She was somehow asking for the card she wanted to see on top. It was magic, that I knew, but it was incredible. I was captivated, even while my stomach sank with every flip of a card. The first card she flipped read The World , which I was expecting, but when the next card was yet again The Tower, my breath left me in a rush. That card was haunting me.

"Really? The advice for the Tower is the Tower? C'mon." Esther aggressively flipped another card. "Four and Five of Pentacles? No. Nope. You're not taking this seriously."

I flinched. "Me?"

"The cards." Esther groaned and scooped them back up. "Seven of Wands!? Okay, now you're just being sassy."

I looked to the girls. "Is it normal for her to talk to her cards like this?"

"Yes," they said in unison.

"Okay, you know what? I'm not going to shuffle see if we can get some deeper insight. We're gonna take matters into our own hands." Esther flipped the deck over and spread the cards out in a straight line, then began looking through them. "When I'm nervous about a situation, I like to find the Fool for guidance. Ah, ok there she is . . . and our guidance is . . . Four of Cups."

"Introspection and withdrawal?" Birdie scratched her head. "That doesn't clarify anything. Why is this not helping? This always helps-"

"High Priestess, what is holding her back?" She began diving through the cards again. "Three of Cups? How does celebration and friendship hold her back? You want her to be alone? Fine then, what does she need to move past this— what? "

" The World? " Birdie scrubbed her face with her hands. "Do we need to purify your cards?"

Esther cursed. "I don't know. I'm not . . . I'm still blocked. I can't see. Let's try something different?—"

"Stop." I threw my hand on top of the cards. "I may be new here, but I know all this tense energy ain't helping anything. The cards tell me change is afoot. Cool. That's enough for me right now. We can try this whole thing again in a few days, ‘kay?"

" Oh, merci mon Dieu ."

Madge jumped and looked to her soulmate. "Thank God what?"

Jo held her phone up to show us the screen. "Rootbeer is okay. Just hot."

We all sighed and nodded.

I grabbed a chicken nugget off the plate in front of me. "Well, at least we've got that happy news."