13. Claire

CHAPTER 13

CLAIRE

W e were having breakfast on the terrace when Verity skipped over, dressed for the beach in a bright coral caftan. Ken came behind her, her constant shadow, and nodded hello to Conrad. He nodded back.

"We've booked a boat tour," said Verity. "One of those glass-bottomed boats. You can see all the fish, the coral, whatever. Sea turtles, they've got. You guys want to join us?"

I thought of begging off to get back to work, but truth was, I'd worked well into last night. Everything at Timeless was under control. I could afford one more day of fun in the sun. One more day with Verity was more of a risk — but it came with the shot at a juicy reward. Verity signing with Timeless would be a dream come true.

"I'd love that," I said. "Conrad?"

He glanced up from his phone, which I hadn't seen him pull out. "I'm sorry, what?"

"A glass-bottomed boat tour. What do you say?"

Conrad frowned at his phone. Fired off one last text. Then he stowed it in his pocket. "Sure. That sounds fun. Joe took one of those tours out in Hawaii, and—" He cut himself off, shook his head, and smiled strangely. "And they saw a sunfish so big, they thought it was a shipwreck."

Verity laughed. "Yeah, I heard those things get pretty big. Anyway, we're running upstairs to grab our sunscreen. We'll meet you back here in ten."

I shot Conrad a black look as they hustled away. "What did you almost say?"

He made a wide-eyed face. "What do you mean?"

"You almost said something else, instead of the sunfish thing."

Conrad finished his coffee, then glanced around. "It was pretty gruesome, actually. This diver went missing. No one saw him for days, then?—"

"Oh, no. Don't tell me."

"They're all gathered round the window on this glass-bottomed boat, Joe and his kids, two other families. They're spotting fish, turtles, when suddenly?—"

" No. "

"He bobbed right up and banged on the window, this grinning death's head, this?—"

"Okay, shut up!" I smacked Conrad's arm a little too hard. "Tell that story to Verity, or anything like it, and you'll be the one feeding the fish."

"Sorry," he said, and rubbed where I'd smacked him. I studied him more closely and saw he looked tired.

"How late were you up last night?"

"I'm not sure. It was light when I got into bed." He yawned, cracked his neck, and slapped his cheeks lightly.

"If you're too tired for this, to keep up our game?—"

Verity came bouncing back to us, waving her beach bag. "I had it the whole time. My sunscreen, I mean. Got halfway across the lobby, and Ken made me check. Can you imagine, if we'd tossed our whole room?"

"I'm fine," whispered Conrad, soft in my ear.

Through clenched teeth, I hissed back, "You'd better be." But I found his hand and squeezed it under the table. Conrad had never failed me. I trusted him, still.

I grabbed us both some more coffee on our way to the docks, a latte for me, a triple espresso for Conrad. He took it gratefully and downed a huge gulp. I noticed Verity noticing, but she just smiled.

"We're not morning people either. But the sea air should help."

Soon, we were gliding away from the shore, watching the lush resort dwindle behind us. I'd forgotten to ask how long this tour was, or where it went, or if Conrad got seasick. But he didn't seem sick, watching the beach fall away. He seemed more distracted, his brow furrowed in thought. Like part of him was off somewhere else. I was about to ask where when Verity piped up.

"The water's so clear. Claire, come and see."

I turned away from the railing and peered through the window. Sure enough, I could see all the way to the bottom, the ripples the sun made on the soft ocean sand. Little fish darted this way and that, in and out of the rocks and the wavering kelp.

"What kinds are they? Ken, where's our guidebook?"

I looked up at Conrad and saw he was back on his phone, his lips pressed together as he tapped on his screen. It buzzed in his hand and he slipped on his headset, and next thing I knew he was taking a call. He shuffled away from us, but we could still hear them, and Ken closed his guidebook and put it away.

"Sorry," I said, smiling through my annoyance. "It must be an emergency, or he wouldn't?—"

"You're kidding," said Conrad, too harsh, too loud. I laughed at nothing to cover him, and immediately felt stupid.

Verity smiled. "It's okay. I'm sure we've all been there."

I was sure we had, but I'd turned my phone off. I'd made sure I wouldn't be there while I was here.

"Oh, turtles," said Ken, pointing down at the window. "Check out that big one. I think he sees us."

I peered down at the turtle, and I thought Ken was right. The turtle was swimming with its head to one side, its hooded eye turned up to our window. Its flippers worked lazily, keeping pace with our boat. Verity giggled.

"Maybe he's out on an us-spotting tour. He'll go home to his kids later and say ‘I saw them. Two pretty, bright ones and two all in beige.'"

"Khaki," said Ken. "And my shirt's dusty rose."

Conrad said nothing, absorbed in his phone call. By the time he was finished, the turtle was gone.

"Sorry," he said. "Joe's just— Hold on." His phone was buzzing again, and again, he picked up. I felt my cheeks warm and knew I was flushing. Hadn't I told him he could stay back? Why had he come, even, with his phone turned on? Making me apologize for his distraction?

"It's a crisis," I said again. "His office, he?—"

"You don't have to explain." Verity pulled me back to the window. "That's the thing with success: you have to maintain it. And sometimes, that means being a little bit rude. If you have any calls to make, you should know we won't mind."

"I made mine last night," I said, a little bit snippy. Then I heard myself, and I wilted, embarrassed. "Sorry. I think?—"

"All done," said Conrad. He came over to join us, slipping his phone in his pocket. "I told Joe I'm on the water, about to lose my signal. Anything else, it can wait for tonight."

My heart welled with gratitude, then fresh chagrin. I'd let my pique show, or as Sunny would put it, my butthurt. Conrad had done nothing but take a few calls. It would be my outburst Verity remembered. If anyone had blown this, it was me. I was up to my neck in self-recrimination when I felt Conrad's hand on my shoulder.

"I have an idea," he said, with a smile. "There's this great seafood place near the resort. Why don't we go after this, then go exploring? My treat, of course."

Ken brightened at that. "I'd love some seafood."

"Me too," said Verity. "I think I know where you mean, and there's a market just past there. All kinds of handicrafts, great souvenirs. I'd love to pick up some gifts for my nieces."

I leaned my head on Conrad's arm to show I was grateful. "That sounds amazing. I am kind of starving."

"Yeah, it's the sea air. It makes you hungry." Verity rubbed at her own empty belly. Maybe, after everything, we were back on track.

Lunch was delicious, a real seafood banquet, each dish they brought out to us more delicious than the last. Whether thanks to the sea air, the food, or the coffee, Conrad was wide awake and flexing his charm, entertaining Ken and Verity with tales of his travels. Work had taken him everywhere, all round the world, and he had a funny anecdote or a poignant one from every port. Some of his stories were new to me too, and I found myself rapt in them and the way he told them, rich with nostalgia and vivid detail. Like he was living them again through their telling. Did he miss those early days, out chasing partners? Was his new, sparkling life not all that he'd dreamed?

"So we told them, don't try it. It's farther than it looks. But they got in their kayak, and what could we do? These two engineers, skinny as weeds, went rowing out into the Firth of Clyde. They lost their paddle a hundred yards out, and these two Scottish lifeguards had to go save them."

Verity was laughing. "What, they swam out?"

"Yes! They were swimming, and these guys in a kayak — they couldn't even make it as far as two swimmers. The rest of us were acting like we didn't know them, packing our things up to get back to Glasgow." Conrad sighed. "That was so long ago now. Such a good trip."

I glanced at him, and there was that look again, dreamy, sentimental. A sad little smile. Then it was gone, and he laughed along with us. When the bill came, he paid it, and we headed off to the market, Verity chattering about her nieces back home. She found a booth where she could get their names carved onto shells and strung onto sparkling silver bracelets. While she did that, Conrad and I went exploring.

"I want to remember this," I said, examining a rack of silk scarves. "But these are for tourists. See? Made in Taiwan. I want to take something real back, not just some tat."

"Something real, eh?" Conrad seemed thoughtful. "I used to take menus home everywhere I went. Not on purpose at first, but then I'd ask to take them. You'll never catch me talking about this dish I had in Kyoto, only I can't remember what it was called. I still have the menu, so I can tell you exactly, and sometimes what's in it, and if it has gluten."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised. I hadn't pictured Conrad taking souvenirs at all, or caring much for his travels beyond growing his business.

"It has to be something everyday, I think, to be real. Something common like a menu, or something you'd use." He took down a beaded bag from a tottering rack. "This, for example."

"I wouldn't use that."

He put the bag back and strolled to the next booth, and browsed through its wares with intense concentration. After a while, he picked out a keychain, a cute little pewter one with a sunfish fob. He held it up so the sun caught its enameled scales.

"You'd use this, wouldn't you? You use your keys every day."

"I guess I do."

"Then, good. We'll take it." He paid for the keychain and handed it over, and I slid my keys off my old chain and onto the new one. I had to admit, it was just what I'd wanted, something I'd see and touch every day. Something I'd keep close to me. Close to my heart. I clutched it and frowned, my chest going tight. Conrad touched my elbow.

"Hey. You okay?"

I dropped the keychain in my purse and nodded. "Yeah, fine."

"You kind of zoned out there. You want to sit down?"

"Let's see how Verity's doing with those bracelets." I smiled brightly at Conrad and took his arm, but cuddling so close to him just made my heart ache. It wasn't his keychain I wanted to bring home. It was him, this, us — the one thing I couldn't.

I gripped Conrad's arm and put the thought from my mind. What I needed to do was live in the present. Savor what we could have while we could have it. One day, and soon, we'd have to fly home, but we still had today and we might have tomorrow. We had the sun on our backs and the bustling market, and at least for right now, we had each other.

We explored the rest of the market, then the welcoming streets, and around sunset, we made our way to the beach. The sun was declining in an orange-pink blaze, setting the beach and the ocean on fire. We stood in the sand and Conrad's hand found mine, and we leaned our heads together to watch the sunset. We watched till the last of the blaze had drowned in the ocean and a scatter of stars pricked through the sky.

I held Conrad's hand, and I didn't want it to end, not this sunset, this moment, not our time together.