Chapter Thirty-One

Tamsin

Tamsin stood in front of the loch, taking in the beautiful view. She'd been here for four days, and her ankle was much improved. Eli had said it wasn't broken but sprained. She wouldn't be running anywhere, but she got around without too much pain, though she'd learned long ago how to function, with or without pain. Her entire being bubbled with something unfamiliar, happiness and hope. Others might think it was the blue sky or the shimmering water, but that wasn't the part she believed was the best.

It was the bairns.

Derric and Dyna were in the water with their three bairns, the wee ones kicking and squealing with delight, splashing water and jumping about as if they'd never been wet before.

"Tamsin, come in! The water is actually quite warm. Warmer than our loch in the Highlands," Dyna shouted to her.

"It looks enticing. I'm considering joining you." She was. Seriously. If there was anything she wished to learn, it was how to swim. After nearly dying twice in deep water, it was paramount that she learn how to swim.

"Would you like me to join you? I'd be happy to show you some easy maneuvers in the water." The voice came from behind her.

Tamsin jumped, whirling around, surprised to see Thane approaching from the area where they'd left their horses. She gave him a swift hug because she was glad to see him. He'd saved her twice, and she hadn't adequately expressed her appreciation for the second time.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and inhaled his scent of pine and horse, so much different from Raghnall. Tall and hard in most places, his chest felt like the side of a wall. His belly was also flat and solid.

Unlike Raghnall's moving midsection.

Thane's hands were soft and kind, and his hair was always clean, something else very different from her husband. She stepped back and blushed. "Forgive me for my forwardness. I wasn't thinking."

Thane brushed a stray hair from her face and said, "That makes the hug even better."

"Why are you here?" she asked, hoping Mora and Brian were well. "Is something wrong?"

"Nay, naught specific. We've heard tales of Garvie attacking different places, and we still have not discovered who the second group was who attacked us, but we've heard gossip about both situations. I decided I'd feel better if the three young ones were here."

"Three?" she asked, tipping her head.

"Mora, Lia, and Magni."

She had a vague memory of two other bairns coming along on their last trip, but she didn't recall actually meeting them. "I look forward to making their acquaintance. Where are they from? And do they live with you or are they visiting?"

"Magni found my boat on Ulva and decided to attempt to get away from there. He and his sister were to be sold, but he escaped from the mean old woman's place, as he called her, and found me. They'll stay with us for as long as they'd like."

"So he might know where Alana is held?"

"He claims to know. We shall use his knowledge when the time comes."

Tamsin sighed, knowing she wasn't in a position to make any demands. She would learn how to swim, practice her archery, then ask her new friends how they would suggest getting Alana back. "You also mentioned you were attacked by an unknown group? When did this happen?"

"When we returned to our land, a small group came upon us in the forest, looking for a specific lass. We have yet to determine who they were or whom they sought. I thought to ask Maitland if he has any new information about that. He seems to be the one who ferrets out tales of the isle. More than we ever hear."

"My lord, I hope I have not caused any trouble to fall upon your clan. It was certainly not my intent." She would feel horrible if Raghnall attacked Thane's clan. Had her husband attacked other clans? Not to her knowledge, but then again, she knew little of his activities outside their home.

"Not my lord, but Thane…" He brushed the back of his hand across her cheek, his touch so gentle she nearly grabbed his hand to hold it there.

She blushed and said, "Thane. I'm sorry if my husband is bothering you."

"It is not your fault. It is your husband's. He does not wish to get along with any neighbors, but instead prefers to make demands. I am not worried about Garvie." Thane glanced past her shoulder and smiled.

"They are enjoying themselves." Tamsin's heart swelled watching the loving interaction within the family, wondering how it would feel to have a husband who truly loved their bairn, and one who was kind. Derric and Dyna were wonderful parents. Tamsin often envisioned Alana playing with their wee ones.

Dyna hollered over the din of the bairns' happiness. "Come join us, both of you. How do you fare, Thane?"

"I'm well. I saw your horses here, so I thought to check on your activities."

"The water is lovely. Talk Tamsin into joining us. Though I'll warn you to keep your distance, Tamsin. Derric has naught on."

Fortunately, Derric was in deep water, so he gave no hint to being in the nude. Dyna turned back to her group, so Thane took Tamsin's elbow and said, "I'm guessing you were hoping to learn how to swim. I'd be happy to help in any way I can."

Tamsin looked into his eyes, the kindness even visible there, something she truly loved about Thane. "I was hoping to learn a bit, but they are busy with their bairns."

"Do you trust me? I could try to teach you to float on your back. That would be a great start. When in trouble, floating on your back will keep your head above water, and after that, the next skill to learn would be kicking your feet to move you to your target."

Tamsin kneaded her hands in front of her, wiggling her thumbs. She'd worn a short tunic and leggings to swim in, something Eli had suggested and shared with her so she wouldn't worry about her clothing. It was time for her to be bold and stop hiding from the world as she'd learned to do in Ulva.

"I'd welcome your assistance, Thane. Of course, I trust you. You have saved me twice, though I am unsure if I thanked you for the last time? If not, I will thank you now."

He held out his hand. "You are welcome. Come and feel the water. Your clothing is fine, but we should both remove our boots and hose."

She giggled and held on to him while she did as he suggested, her toes wiggling in the grass as he waited for her to finish before removing his own. The long grass was cool and refreshing on her feet. Someone had cut a path across the area closest to the water to make it easier to swim or fish.

Thane removed his tunic and said, "I'm glad I wore trews."

Then she peered up at him and said, "I'm ready. Please hold on to me."

"I promise never to let you go," he said, an odd feeling coursing through him when he spoke the words.

Thane took her hand in his and led her to the edge of the loch, the sun peeking out through scattered clouds as they approached, the warmth making the impending dip even more appealing. "I'm nervous," she whispered.

"I'm not surprised after all you've been through. You must always be careful about the area you enter, making sure it is as shallow as you need or deep enough for a jump. Every loch is different."

"And what about this one?"

"Derric and Dyna chose well. This section of the edge is quite shallow, perfect for wee ones to swim in so they can touch the bottom. It is mostly flat too. Many areas can have a quick drop-off, so always test it out to be certain."

They reached the edge, and something brought her hairs upright, the quick twinge traveling through her, a shiver coming unbidden. She shook it off along with the images of her husband moving her out of a boat. Her body whirled away from Thane, but she turned back to him, fighting the images in her mind.

"I'm here," he whispered. "I'll not desert you."

Her eyes misted because his words were true. "Many thanks."

"It will be cool at first, but I think we will warm to it." They stopped as soon as the water touched her toes and he said, "Go ahead. Take a step in."

She stuck one foot in and squealed, but then put the other foot in, wiggling her toes again. "It feels refreshing, Thane. Join me?"

He did, but then he surprised her, taking four large steps in before letting her hand go. "You'll be fine. I'll be right back."

Tamsin watched Thane duck into the water, going up to his shoulders before turning back to face her as he treaded across the bank to see how deep the water was, if she were to guess.

"This is perfect. Walk forward to me and once you are wet, I'll help you float."

Tamsin froze, her gaze locked on his chest, the dark hairs moving about in the water. Thane was a handsome man with a finely chiseled body. The span of his shoulders was double her husband's. Thane's thick muscles were bigger than she'd ever seen. His hair grazed the water at his shoulders, dipping and curling with the water's movement. He was as handsome as any she'd met, the slight scruff of his beard from traveling something she found attractive.

Dyna broke her focus because she called out, "Best of luck, Tamsin. You'll love it once you learn to swim. Take that power from Garvie so he'll not try it again." She loped up the bank, one bairn in each hand. "Turn your back so Derric can get out. We've been in long enough, though they'd stay in all day if we'd allow it."

Tamsin turned toward Thane and waved to the group as they left. "Tell me what to do next, Thane." She had to concentrate, listen to his instructions, and ignore his chest. That was her only choice at present. She was still married, though she would officially end their marriage if she could do it. For this moment, she'd allow herself to dream that Thane belonged to her, that they were married and had a daughter together named Alana. How sweet her life would be if it were true.

"Walk out to me and I'll take your hand, then I'm going to help you lean back until your feet come off the ground."

They locked gazes again, and he whispered, "Don't worry. I'll hold you."

Her voice came out in the same whisper. "As you always have." Tears threatened to drench her cheeks, but she held them inside, taking her time with each step until she reached him. This lesson was too important to ignore.

"Have fun!" Dyna called, letting her know that Derric was out and dressed. Tamsin's hand was intertwined with Thane's, but she broke away to turn and lean into his arms.

"Now trust me and tip your head so your hair goes all the way into the water, then kick your feet up enough for me to catch you."

She tried twice but failed.

Thane said, "Let's take a break from this. Just enjoy the water with me. Bounce in it, walk, swing your arms, whatever you wish to do."

"All right. I am more comfortable in it now, and it is much warmer to me." She spun around and nearly fell, but Thane caught her. She giggled as her feet found the bottom of the loch again, but she had a sudden urge to ask him a personal question. "Thane, are you married?"

He appeared surprised by her question, but he replied quickly. "Nay. I'm not married. I have no plans to marry."

"Why not?" She could respect that in a person, but she had to wonder why a man would say so. They seemed to get the most advantages from the relationship. A child, someone to clean their clothes, cook, take care of the home while the man hunted and provided for his family. It was the way of the world, apparently, so she thought every man would wish to be married. Didn't every man wish for a son or two?

Thane sighed and stared up at the clouds before he looked at her again. "I don't mind sharing with you, Tamsin. Mostly because I've not found anyone I would be interested in marrying. My brother and sister urge me to marry, but I'm not interested yet."

She tipped her head and asked, "Truly not interested at all?"

"There's something you don't know about me. My mother was not a kind woman. She raised Brian, Mora, and me with a rough hand. When Mora was but seven winters old, our mother dropped us off on the beach, threw a bag of clothes at us, and never returned."

Tamsin gasped. She couldn't imagine treating children so horrifically. "And you were but a few years older then."

"Four years. Brian is two years younger than me and Mora four. We had to find a cave to live in and foraged for our food. It was a most difficult life, but it was better than living with our mother. Her cruelty was too much. While we did go hungry on some days, we were never mistreated again, so we accepted it. We met a few others, and with them, found the castle that had been destroyed by fire and rebuilt what we could. It took us a long time, but I'm proud of what we've accomplished."

"But how does that affect your desire to marry?"

"Because I don't ever wish to watch a woman mistreat my bairns. If that is the way most marriages exist, then I don't want any part of it. I'll stay single. I cannot tolerate watching bairns mistreated."

Tamsin had never been more profoundly affected by anyone's words. She wished to hold Thane, hug him tight, and tell him all would be well if he married. She had to believe that things would be different. But would they?

Had it been different for her mother? Her past had not given her any better images of married life than his. "I'm sorry you've had such a terrible past. And it is even more difficult because of your siblings. My past is not much better. My mother died when I was young. My father promised me to Raghnall and I've never seen him or my sister again. But don't you feel differently now that you've been at Clan Grantham? When I watch Dyna and Derric with their bairns, it makes me hope for a better life. Is it not possible?"

Thane sighed. "I understand exactly what you are saying, and I will admit that observing everything and everyone at Clan Grantham gives me hope. I'm not sure if we are hoping for the same things, but hope is a blessing."

She nodded, wondering what he hoped for, but she didn't know him well enough to pursue that type of personal question. "I think Mora was verra happy here. It was good for her. She is a sweet lass, and you have done a fine job raising your siblings."

"Many thanks, and you are correct that being around other lasses was wonderful for her, but I've told you enough about my life. Come. Are you willing to try my suggestions again? Once you learn to swim, I promise that you will love it."

She smiled and arranged herself the way he'd guided her before. It took her three tries before she was able to do what he asked, but it finally happened.

"Tip your head back and look at the sky, not at me. The farther your head is back, the better you will do."

She did as he suggested, and to her surprise, he let go of her legs and she stayed up, filled with the exhilaration of floating on her own. She wished to squeal, her excitement nearly overtaking her, but then she lost it, and her head fell underwater.

"Hold your breath. I have you." Thane caught her, helping her to stand upright.

Her head broke through the water, and she burst into giggles. "I did it! May I try again? Please?"

The lesson continued, and the more time she spent with the man, the more she began to understand a concept that was totally new to her.

It was something that filled her heart with an odd joy, that made her want to be closer to him, that made her giggle like a wee lassie. Something totally different from anything she'd ever experienced, and she liked it.

She was falling in love with Thane MacQuarie.