Chapter Twenty

Tamsin

When he finished, Raghnall headed to the door and stopped while Tamsin set her gown to rights. This was her husband. It was the act every married couple performed, yet every incident left her ashamed and even a bit disgusted.

"I'll say this about you, wife. Even after a bairn, you still have sweet curves. Because of that, I'll allow you to see our daughter on this day for the midday meal. I will have Extilda bring Alana to you at supper time. Until that time, you are to remain in this chamber. And a fair warning to you—you will not repeat to anyone what transpired between the time I left you in the sea and now. If you do, your visits with our daughter will end forever. Understood?"

"Aye, my lord."

Raghnall was no lord, but he insisted on being called as such.

She climbed off the oversized bed and went to the basin of water to clean herself. Relations always made her feel unclean, even dirty, but that was mostly because her husband did not believe in washing more than once a fortnight.

When she finished, Tamsin moved over to one of the two chairs in front of the hearth, then sat down and picked up the garment she'd started for her dear daughter. Tears misted her gaze as she looked at the bodice she'd created. How she adored the lass. Alana's hair was a shade brighter red than her own, and both eyes were green, unlike Tamsin's differently colored eyes.

She let out a light squeal of excitement when the door burst open, and her sweet lass ran across the chamber and jumped into her arms with a giggle. "Mama!" At less than two years, her speaking mostly consisted of one or two-word expressions, but they were clear and loud.

Extilda followed her inside the chamber, setting a tray of food on the small table next to her. "Many thanks to you, Extilda."

The woman gave her a look of pity, something she wasn't used to. Extilda wasn't known for her kindness, and she rarely spoke, so what happened next totally surprised Tamsin.

"Your supper, my lady. And I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. You do not deserve such horrific treatment."

Tamsin patted her maid's hand but said nothing, Raghnall's words fresh in her mind.

Extilda turned around and took her leave, saying nothing more. Tamsin froze, watchful as the woman left. What exactly had been said about her? Raghnall seemed to believe that no one knew anything about her experience.

But servants loved to gossip. Either way, she let the thoughts fade so she could give her full attention to her daughter.

"Alana, Mama missed you so much," she declared, fighting the tears. Her daughter was more adorable than ever. She had the greenest eyes, and her hair had soft waves that often had a mind of their own.

"Miss you," Alana said, cupping both her mother's cheeks in her hands, a movement that nearly made her cry, but she forced a broad smile instead.

"You are even lovelier than the last time I saw you, my sweet girl."

"Berries, pweez?" Her lashes had grown even longer in her absence.

"Aye, have some berries. And some bread too."

Her daughter's eyes danced with pleasure, the sparkle of happiness there, something she'd fought to bear witness to every day of her daughter's life.

Sometimes it was a battle.

"Where have you been, Alana?" While she feared her husband might be eavesdropping, she had to find out the truth of what had happened to her little girl. Raghnall hadn't forbidden her from asking Alana any questions.

"Gramama's." She took a bite of a berry and the juice squirted out of her mouth and down her chin, bringing an infectious giggle to the surface as she watched her mother.

Tamsin's heart ached with the love inside her for this child, but also ached for the child she'd lost. Had the bairn been a wee laddie or a lassie? She had loved the time she'd been able to nurse Alana, holding her close, inhaling her scent. She'd spent hours just running her fingers across the babe's soft skin. The fact that she carried a child inside her and not known it saddened her more than she cared to admit.

But so much saddened her that the pain had been engulfed by other events. Fighting for her life and watching all that transpired at Clan Grantham had nearly made her forget she lost the bairn. The wondrous part of her life had been sneaking out to peek at Thane MacQuarie's acts designed to protect her from Raghnall. His efforts had warmed her heart more than she would have ever guessed.

Raghnall was as mad as the banshee in the dark forest at night at Thane and she liked it. She couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to be married to someone like Thane. Alas, that was not to be her station in life. She wiped her daughter's chin with the linen square on the tray.

Alana's nose wrinkled and she leaned toward her mother. "No yike Gramama."

"You must treat her kindly, love," Tamsin said, her mind rushing to find another explanation to convince Alana to be nice. Angering Dagga would not be in the child's best interest.

The woman was so evil, she would indeed take that anger out on a wee bairn.

"Did she hurt you, sweeting?"

"Mean," she said with a mouthful of bread.

"Chew your food first, lass." Every move Alana made put a smile on Tamsin's face. She took the time to say a quick prayer for her, using the sign of the cross on her to keep the evil forces at bay.

If only she could find out where Alana's grandmother was.

Extilda had been kind enough that her next move might be to ask her.

She'd risk anything for Alana. Anything.

The door banged open and there, filling the doorway, stood Raghnall, the fury on his face worse than she'd ever seen it.

Alana let out a wee squeal, then smiled at her father. Tamsin pulled her daughter in close to protect her.

He could beat Tamsin as much as he wanted, but not Alana.