Chapter Eleven

Tamsin

Tamsin awakened the next day, surprised to see that the sun was coming up and she was not in her own bed, but one she didn't recognize. Forcing herself to a sitting position, she rubbed her forehead, trying to recall the memory of last eve.

It finally came to her, the aches from various spots on her body reminding her of what had happened.

Raghnall had left her on a boulder to die, and a kind man had rescued her. He'd brought her here and then apparently left. She had memories of a young lass tending her, unlike the ancient healer they had on the Isle of Ulva. The woman was so old no one knew her true age.

The door opened and the lass she had met yesterday peeked her head inside, so Tamsin did her best to make herself presentable. She had to find out where she was and make her way back to her daughter.

"You are awake?" the healer asked.

Tamsin replied by nodding, waiting for her to enter. "Who are you?"

"My name is Elisant Ramsay. I am newly married to my husband, Alaric Grant. My clan was gifted this castle by King Robert, since it was unoccupied. We're going to establish a new clan here, Clan Grantham."

Tamsin shrugged because she was uncertain how to reply. She was clueless about King Robert, besides his name, and was oblivious to the Grants and Ramsays. It wasn't pertinent, so she didn't think on it much. "Where am I exactly? I must admit I'm confused."

"This is the Isle of Mull. You said your husband is on Ulva. True?"

"Aye. I've lived on Ulva ever since I married. I've never been on Mull before. How far away is Ulva?"

Eli came over and sat on a stool across from Tamsin. "I am new to the isles, so I'm not sure. But we'll help you in any way you wish. If you would prefer to stay here, you may do that too. But first you must heal. Since I removed your gown and put on the night rail, I saw all the bruises on your body, lass."

Tamsin pulled the neckline out so she could peek down at her chest and her belly. Eli was right. Even her legs were bruised. No wonder she was sore. She lifted her head and said, "Many thanks to you."

"How do you feel this morn, Tamsin?"

"I'm still sore. Hungry at the moment. May I eat something?"

"We have porridge. No honey yet. I'll get you some, along with goat's milk. In order to heal, you need to eat to get your strength back."

"I would like the porridge, if it is not too much trouble, please. And I will stay for a day or two, if that suits you. Then I must go home." Tamsin had to return to her dear daughter. First, she had to determine exactly where Alana was. She could be with Raghnall's mother, but that woman had little patience for a toddler. Where else would Raghnall send her? That was what she needed to uncover.

Eli got up from the stool and said, "We have the hearth going. Would you prefer to eat in our great hall where it is warm? We do have warm furs for your lap. I am the only one in the hall at present. I can assist you into the larger chair. There are small tables to set next to you."

"That sounds nice." Tamsin stood, pausing to gather her strength when she had to. The reality of what had happened hadn't really sunk in yet. The most important question she needed answered was about her husband's intentions. Why had Raghnall left her on that rock, knowing she couldn't swim?

She forced her mind to other thoughts, afraid to accept what was likely the truth of her situation. Her husband had wanted her dead and attempted to kill her.

Eli helped her out to the hall, and they made their way slowly to the chair near the hearth. The porridge smelled lovely, and Tamsin's belly reacted with a loud growl. "I am hungry. Forgive me."

"Naught to forgive. You needed your rest. Sit and eat. I'll keep you company for a wee bit."

The heat from the fireplace warmed her from head to toe and made her smile. "This is such a nice hall." Much nicer than any chamber in Raghnall's home. Much larger, much cleaner, much warmer.

"It is," Eli replied, assisting her to the chair and handing her a fur for her lap. "Once we receive all our supplies, I hope to have a nice rug for this area and some new tapestries for the walls. We've sent for cushions for the chairs. Once we dry some lavender, I hope the aroma will be pleasing too."

Eli settled Tamsin's food on the side table and then retrieved the goat's milk. Once Tamsin had taken a few bites of the porridge, Eli's questions began. Tamsin would answer what she could, but she needed to know who the man was who brought her here. She at least owed him her gratitude for swimming to her aid.

Eli said, "The man who brought you here said your husband left you on the boulder to die. Do you believe that to be true?"

Tamsin wasn't quite ready to answer that question, so she avoided it. "Who was that man? I must offer him my thanks. Is he outside?" Surprised to see how her hands shook, she continued to eat because she had one goal in mind: finding Alana.

"His name is Thane MacQuarie, chieftain of Clan MacQuarie. He lives on the western side of the isle, which is how he was able to see your husband's ship from the cliff near his home. He watched as your husband deposited you on the rock, striking you first."

Unable to look the healer in the eye, Tamsin took a bite of her porridge, then asked, "May I see him, please?"

"Thane returned to his clan. He told us everything he knew about you and your circumstances, but he is chieftain. He has obligations to tend to."

"What did he say?"

"That your husband intended to kill you." Eli was quite blunt, though her words did not surprise Tamsin.

There was no reason to keep the truth from her. "He did intend so. He failed because of Thane. He swam to me and kept me above water until a boat picked us up. Raghnall knew I couldn't swim, so he thought when the tide came in, I would die on the rocks."

"Was he angry with you for some reason? I know we discussed this last night, but I wish to hear your answers again. I fear you may have been delirious last eve. I wish to make sure I understand exactly what happened."

Tamsin had little memory of last eve other than knowing she survived because of a kind man. A handsome man, if she were asked. She didn't mind answering the gentle woman's questions. "Aye. I burned his dinner. The last straw, he called it. Dragged me down to the water and tossed me into the boat."

Eli chewed on her lip, so Tamsin took the opportunity to eat more porridge, amazed at how delicious the simple dish tasted. Somehow, she knew Eli was considering how to phrase her next inquiry.

After a few moments, Eli walked over to the hearth and leaned against the end of it, crossing her arms. "And I have another question for you. Were you carrying a bairn? Because you were bleeding when you came in."

Tamsin nodded, tears blurring her vision. "Aye. Raghnall was angry that I did not give him a son with our first bairn, so his fist went to my belly twice. I lost the bairn I was carrying. In fact, I didn't even know I was carrying yet. Then in the boat, he said it was my fault I didn't carry the babe until the end. Said his mother pronounced it a weak boy. So, his decision was that since I couldn't give him a strong son, I didn't deserve to live." She couldn't stop the tears this time, and she covered her face with her hands.

Eli moved over and hugged Tamsin. "Your husband is a nasty brute who doesn't deserve you. And his mother is a witchin' bitch. First of all, I doubt she could tell if it was a boy at that time. If he were my son, I'd cut off his bollocks."

Tamsin couldn't believe her ears, pushing back from Eli to stare at her. "What did you say?"

"I said he doesn't deserve you."

"Nay, after that." Had she talked about her husband's manhood?

"His mother is a bitch. But I'd cut off his bollocks. Or hit him there with an arrow. I've done it before, and it is oddly satisfying when the bastard deserved it."

"Your husband?"

Eli's eyes widened. "My husband? Nay, I adore my husband. He would never raise a hand to me or speak to me like that. You lost the bairn because Raghnall punched you in your belly. It is his fault the bairn died, not yours."

Tamsin heard so many odd concepts that she swiped at her tears to stare at her hostess. Did she speak truly? She again covered her face, shaking her head at all this information. But the most shocking part wasn't about her husband's manhood. She dropped her hands and asked, "You love your husband?"

"I do. I chose him. Did you not choose your husband?"

She shook her head, the odd words caught in her throat. When had she ever had a say in anything? "Nay. My father gave a large payment for me. He chose Raghnall. I never met him until our wedding day. You chose your husband? Your sire allowed you to have a say in your marriage?"

"Oh, lass. You have lived a terrible life. We live differently. Perhaps you should stay with us, not go back. Men respect women in our clan and treat them so. Beating is not allowed."

Tamsin had to admit that she had an odd pain in her head, and the thoughts spinning about were things she wished to save and contemplate. So odd compared to the life she knew, she had to give thoughtful consideration to everything Eli had just told her. Respect? Love? "I think I need to lie down. Many thanks for the porridge and the goat's milk, but I am overtired. Do you mind helping me back?" She couldn't listen to anything more Eli said.

Everything she'd heard upset her too much—so contrary to life as she knew it.

Could she live in such a way? It was too late to change some things about her existence. Her husband was Raghnall. His mother hated her. She'd lost her second bairn. Her husband had tried to kill her. And then there was the one good part that gave meaning to her soul—her daughter.

Now she just had to figure out how to change her life. But dear Alana was a part of her, and she needed her nearby. She'd have it no other way.

What the hell was she to do?