Chapter 14

MAC

I was working out in the Blades gym when Brady arrived. We started doing reps together before getting on to the treadmills to finish things off. Bastard was in better shape than I was, and I actually found it quite motivating. That was part of the reason I always scheduled my workouts with him.

"So how's Elodie?" Brady asked.

His tone told me that he wanted to pry for more information. "She's good."

"Don't give me that look, dude. I have eyeballs."

"What's your point?"

Brady shrugged. "Just that she's the first girl I've seen at our games. You never bring women around."

Brady wasn't aware of my predilections, and I wasn't about to confess all to him either. He wouldn't understand . Besides, Brady had a big mouth. He'd tell everyone on the team before you could say boo.

"How's her friend?" Brady then asked. "Hannah?"

He tried to sound innocent, which just made me chuckle. "Seriously, dude? That's what you wanted to know about?" I shook my head. "You're fucking annoying."

"When it comes to beautiful women? Yeah, I am." Brady narrowed his eyes. "And you're dating her best friend. So Elodie must've said something."

"Why would she? I've only met Hannah that one time."

Brady grunted. "I tried to get her number that night, but she wouldn't do it. Said she didn't trust athletes not to break her heart." He grinned. "Imagine that?"

I laughed. "A swing and a miss for Brady Carmichael? Now, that's shocking as hell. Has any woman turned you down before?"

"No." Brady was glowering now. "It's not a fucking joke, man. It's driving me nuts. I can't stop thinking about her."

"She's probably just playing hard to get. Women like to do that sometimes."

"Maybe." Brady increased the treadmill speed, probably so he didn't have to keep talking about how Hannah had somehow evaded his legendary charms.

As long as I'd known Brady, he'd always been a playboy. Whereas I'd preferred to keep my arrangements private, Brady tended to flaunt them. I'd lost count of how many times he'd come to a party with a new beautiful woman on his arm. And more than one lady had tried to storm into the locker room over the years to yell at him for not calling her back after he'd slept with her.

"I've never seen you like this about a woman," I remarked after we'd gone to the locker room to clean up.

"I can't get her out of my damn head." Brady toweled his wet hair dry. "It's fucking annoying. Is it just because she told me no?"

"Maybe. Or maybe you might actually like her."

"Huh. Maybe. But seeing as though I don't know her all that well, I have a feeling it might be the former."

"I mean, have you ever thought about settling down someday?" I asked.

To my surprise, Brady didn't crack a joke. Instead, he seemed to think it over for a moment. "Yeah, eventually. But I've just never found the right woman." He stared off, seeming deep in thought.

"Something you not telling me?"

"There was someone once who I could've seen myself marrying someday. But she was sort of off-limits." He stopped short of divulging anything further.

"And?"

"And...I'd rather not get into it right now." He shook his head. "Doesn't matter anyway. It's in the past."

Hmm .

"Well, if you're looking to meet someone of value, you might start dating women who know that the Earth is round, for starters."

Brady guffawed. "Yelena was a special one, that was for sure. But damn, she was smoking hot, wasn't she? Legs for days, amazing tits—"

"But dumb as a fence post," I replied wryly.

"Fine, fine. Yeah, she wasn't too smart. And she wasn't exactly interested in settling down either." Brady stretched out his legs, looking thoughtful still. "I guess it'd be nice to find a woman who wants to be with me , not with a hockey player. Like if she had no idea who I was. Maybe I need to go looking for a woman in Siberia. Somebody who doesn't have the Internet."

That made me think of the club. It wasn't Siberia, but because no one wanted their identities outed, it was a place where I could pretend I was just like everyone else and that nothing about my hockey player status was special.

"You could date someone who doesn't have the Internet, or you could just date someone who isn't shallow," I pointed out.

Brady's gaze focused on me now. "And what about you? You aren't exactly getting married anytime soon either."

I shook my head. Marriage had never been in the cards for me. Hell, a regular, monogamous relationship had never been either.

You could sign a contract for a sexual relationship that had clauses for when to end things. You could control what you both could do and what you both couldn't do.

No messy feelings were involved. Just sex and business. But actual romantic relationships? Those were the opposite of staying in control. You just had to trust that the other person wouldn't fuck you up completely. As soon as the heart got involved, well, that was dangerous territory.

"I'm fine with what I'm doing now," I said.

Brady didn't look convinced, but our conversation was cut short when another player came into the locker room. Brady then tried to get me to ask Elodie for Hannah's number, but I told him to go to hell. He was going to have to figure that one out on his own.I was no damn matchmaker.

When I arrived home later that afternoon, I was surprised to see my mom calling me. Since that didn't happen very often, a feeling of dread hit me right in the stomach.

When I picked up, her words stopped me in my tracks.

"Mac, hi."

"Hey, Mom. What's going on?"

She sighed loudly. "I'm calling to give you some news."

I froze. Did something happen to my father? "What news?"

"Well, there's no easy way to say this, so I suppose I'll just say it. Caroline Bradford has pancreatic cancer. She's dying, Mac."

Caroline Bradford. The woman who'd changed the course of my life, for better or for worse. The woman who'd taught me everything I knew. The first woman I'd ever loved. The reason I'd probably never go down the love path again. There were too many memories to count. And too many memories I'd wanted to bury when it came to her.

Caro . I sat in my living room, staring at the glass of whiskey I'd poured hours ago, unable to sleep. Caro is dying .

My mom had explained that Caroline was in the hospital and had been given only a few months to live. It's stage 4. I'm sorry, Mac .

Then I'd heard Dad in the background, and the call had ended. It upset me that he might've actually derived some pleasure from this. He wouldn't have wanted Mom to talk to me about Caroline. To be honest, I was still in shock she'd even called me to let me know in the first place. The last time my parents had spoken Caroline's name, we'd had our worst fight ever. That was the day I ended up leaving home.

I almost resented Mom for telling me about Caroline. But that wasn't fair. She was just trying to be . . . I didn't even know. Helpful? Understanding? Compassionate?

I finished off my whiskey and considered going upstairs to bed. But I wasn't tired. Despite the alcohol in my veins, I was awake.

Too awake.

Would Elodie pick up if I called? I stared at my phone screen as if it would tell me the answer.

But if I called her right now, I'd have to tell her why. Did I expect her to understand what'd happened between me and Caroline Bradford?

The mere thought made me shudder. She'd start to read into it and draw the wrong conclusions. Or maybe they'd be the right conclusions. All I knew was that I'd had enough to deal with when my parents found out. Although Elodie had been nothing but understanding since we'd met, I didn't want to give her a reason to run either.

I needed a distraction.

The Scarlet Rope was as busy as ever when I arrived. When the cab driver dropped me off a block away, he'd given me a confused look. There wasn't anything open nearby, given that it was already two o'clock in the morning.

"You sure this is the right place?" he'd asked me.

I smiled wryly. "I'm sure. Thanks for the ride."

The club, with its sights, sounds, and smells, brought a wave of blessed relief to my senses. I nodded at a few women I recognized. Delilah sat at the bar like she often did with a group of men surrounding her like a queen with her subjects. She raised an eyebrow as I passed by, which I took as an invitation.

"I haven't seen you here on a Wednesday night in years," she remarked. "Or I guess it's Thursday morning, isn't it?"

"I've lost track," I admitted.

One guy close to Delilah's elbow looked irritated when I sat near her. Delilah gave him a look that said, Don't push your luck.

"And by yourself?" Delilah leaned forward toward me. "Where's the pretty girl you've been hanging around with?"

"I'm alone tonight."

"Hmm. I talked to her, you know. Definitely not the usual type of woman who comes around here. She was like a deer in headlights. It was cute but odd." Delilah's gaze sliced through me. "You don't usually go for the sweet, innocent ones."

"Since when do you know what type of woman I go for?"

"Darling, I've been working this club since before you showed up with your pretty face and tight ass. I know everything that goes on around here."

"Even more than Serena does?" I asked wryly.

Delilah snorted. "I'd say so. I can tell you that guy over there in the gold mask? He begged me to peg him the first time we had a session. And that guy in the orange shirt? He loves when I play his stepmother."

I held up a hand. "Christ, I get it. You know everything. The CIA should probably hire you."

"Who's to say they haven't?" Her grin was wicked. "But enough about me. What's up with you?"

I almost considered telling Delilah everything, but she wasn't exactly my therapist. And she had no reason to keep any information I divulged to herself.

"Do you have any recommendations of scenes to watch tonight?" I asked instead.

"Hmm, well, Ariadne and Tessa are doing an orgy tonight. I think it's up to ten people. I swear it probably started five hours ago."

When I was about to go find said orgy, Delilah stopped me. "That girl. Roxy, right? Be careful with her."

I waited for her to explain herself, raising a single eyebrow.

"She's clearly not one for this world. Whatever you've gotten her to agree to . . ." Delilah shrugged. "She just seems like the type who catches feelings easily. And you and I both know you're the type of guy who women always end up falling for."

"Baby, are you saying you're in love with me?" I joked.

Delilah rolled her eyes. "I'm not your baby, sweetheart. And besides, you're not my type. I don't do Doms, remember?"

I leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Too bad. Because I'd pay big money to watch your ass get whipped good."

She waved me away, clearly done with me. As I meandered, trying to find some entertainment to watch, Delilah's words stuck in my brain no matter how hard I tried to shake them loose.

Had I made a mistake in getting into an arrangement with Elodie? I hadn't pushed her. She'd signed the contract of her own free will. Besides, she was an intelligent woman. She knew what she was doing . . . right?

The thought of hurting Elodie was like a blow to the chest. How had she already managed to wheedle her way into my life like this?If I weren't careful, I'd be the one catching feelings. Which was preposterous—I never got emotionally involved.

Not since Caroline, that is. Caroline. My chest ached. I'd come here to forget, and here I was thinking about her. I shook my head as I went in desperate search of anything that would take my mind off her.

I found the right room and sat near the front, taking in the scene: Ariadne and Tessa were making out while three men serviced them. One guy was lying on the floor eating Ariadne out, another fucking her in the ass from behind, while the third guy was fingering Tessa and rubbing her engorged clit. The five other people were fucking around them, the sounds of flesh against flesh intense and arousing.

But even as my body got more aroused watching the scene, my mind kept going to other places. Enjoying the club without Elodie felt wrong in a strange way. We hadn't signed any agreement that we'd be monogamous. For all I knew, Elodie was dating other guys besides me.

That thought alone made me want to punch the wall. Was that possible? Would Elodie date multiple guys at once?

Calm your tits , I told myself. Hadn't she broken up with her boyfriend before she'd ever considered sleeping with me?Remembering that brought me relief. That's right. It wouldn't make sense for her to be taking up with anyone new besides me if she'd just broken up with her boyfriend. Or at least I had to tell myself that.

I drank a few more whiskeys, needing the buzz of the alcohol to tame my racing thoughts. But by the time the club closed, I was ready to return home and sleep.

Unfortunately for me, my dreams were filled with both Caroline and Elodie—thankfully none of them together. That would have definitely fucked me up even worse. By the time I woke up around noon, I was still exhausted and vaguely hungover.

I texted Elodie. Dinner tonight?

When she replied within seconds, I smiled for the first time in twenty-four hours.