Chapter 20

Liza sank onto the nearest chair and clutched her stomach, willing the rolling nausea to subside.

She didn't know what was worse: feeling as if she was about to hurl or the breath-snatching ache in her chest.

This was why she never let any guy get too close.

This was why she never should've let Wade into her life.

And into her heart.

Despite every effort to push him away and keep their relationship strictly business, he'd bustled his way in with charm and panache and flair. And she'd let him.

She knew why too. Because for the first time in forever she'd felt cherished. Spoiled. As if someone was looking out for her rather than the other way around.

She didn't mind being Cindy's carer but for a brief interlude in her life Wade had swept her off her feet and taught her what it felt like being on the other side.

‘Double mocha or double-choc-fudge brownies?' Shar bustled into the room, pretending not to look at her while casting concerned glances out of the corner of her eye as she tidied up a stack of magazines.

‘Both,' Liza said, knowing she'd be unable to stomach either but needing a few more minutes alone to reassemble her wits.

‘Okay. Back in a sec.'

Breathing a sigh of relief, Liza eased the grip on her stomach and stretched. Rolled her shoulders. Tipped her neck from side to side. It did little for the tension making her muscles twang but at least she wouldn't get a spasm on top of everything else.

Wade had ousted her lies. Worse, he thought she was ashamed of Cindy, when nothing could be further from the truth. And the fact he hadn't let her explain, had stood there and hurled accusations at her, hurt.

Maybe she should've trusted him with the truth. But her motives had been pure. She'd done it all for Cindy. Would do it again if it meant protecting her sister.

Now he knew the truth, where did that leave them?

‘Here you go.' Shar dumped a plate of brownies and a steaming mocha in front of her. ‘Looks like you could do with a good dose of chocolate.'

‘You heard?' Liza picked at the corner of a brownie, and shoved a few crumbs around the plate with her fingertip.

‘Enough.' Shar winced. ‘It didn't sound good.'

‘Is Cindy okay?'

Shar nodded. ‘Yeah, she's on the computer listening to a podcast by that social media influencer she raves about, so had her headphones on.'

‘Guess I should be grateful for small mercies,' Liza said, the severity of her confrontation with Wade hitting home at the thought of Cindy overhearing what he'd accused her of.

Star stared at her, a frown grooving her brow. ‘You didn't tell him about Cindy.'

It was a statement, not a question, and Liza didn't know where to begin to rationalise her behaviour.

‘He seems like a nice guy.' Shar sipped at her mocha. ‘Good looking too.'

‘Wade's…' What? Incredibly sexy? Persistent? Thoughtful? She settled for the truth. ‘Special.'

‘Then why all the secrecy?'

‘Because I wanted to protect Cindy.'

‘From?'

‘Prying. Interference.'

‘Ridicule?' Shar prompted and Liza nodded, biting her bottom lip.

‘You'll probably hate me for saying this, but are you sure it's Cindy you were protecting and not you?'

Liza's head snapped up, shocked by Shar's accusation. ‘What do you mean?'

Shar screwed up her nose before continuing. ‘You've lived your life in the spotlight. Interviews on TV. Mingling with A-listers. Your life scrutinised online. Best parties. Best of everything.'

Shar paused, and glanced away. ‘Maybe you didn't want people knowing you had a disabled sister because you thought it would taint how you appear to others in some way?'

‘That's bull.' Liza stood so quickly her knee knocked the underside of the table and she swore.

‘Then why are you so defensive?'

She glared at Shar. ‘Because what you've just suggested is hateful and makes me look like a narcissistic bitch.'

Shar shook her head. ‘No. It makes you human.'

Shar's accusation made Liza pause. Had that partially been her motivation? Was Wade right? Was she ashamed to reveal to the world she had a disabled sister?

Never in a million years would she have thought that, but if the two people in the world she was closest to—discounting Cindy—had jumped to the same conclusion, had she done it on some subconscious level?

She collapsed back onto the chair and tried to articulate her jumbled feelings. ‘Because of what I've faced in the spotlight, I didn't want Cindy exposed to any of that.'

Shar pointed at the ARC lying on the floor. ‘So what if you'd mentioned her in the book? Doesn't mean the media would've been beating down your door to interview her.'

‘They might have.' Liza rested her feet on the chair and wrapped her arms around her shins. ‘You've fielded enough calls to know how persistent they can be. It could've turned into a circus.'

‘Or they could've respected your privacy and hers.'

Liza blew a raspberry. ‘I hate it when you're logical.'

Shar winked. ‘All part of the service.'

Now that Liza had come this far, she should tell Shar all of it.

‘I did it for the money.'

‘The biography?'

Liza nodded. ‘That day I went to Qu Publishing to tell them to stop harassing us, I had a phone call from my financial adviser's office.'

She took a deep breath, blew it out. ‘My investment has gone. He scammed the lot.'

Shar blanched. ‘Hell, that's diabolical.'

‘To put it mildly.' Liza hugged her knees tighter. ‘I was still in the office when I took the call, after basically telling Wade to stick his offer to publish my biography. But after I got the news, I was reeling. Wade found me in a crumpled heap and was a good sport, so in the end, I had to accept his offer. The advance and royalties from the biography were the only way out.'

‘Drastic times call for drastic measures.' Shar picked up the ARC from the floor and laid it on the table. ‘If you didn't mention Cindy in the book, did you stretch the truth in general?'

‘A little.' Liza wavered a hand side to side. ‘I mostly stuck to the truth with the WAG side of things. Played up all that glamorous nonsense people lap up. It's what he asked for.'

‘What about your folks?'

‘I told the truth. Within reason.'

Even now, ten years after her mum had walked out on them, and almost two decades since her dad had bolted too, Liza cushioned the hurt by justifying their appalling behaviour. They didn't deserve it but the last thing she needed was for Cindy to realise the truth one day.

That their parents had left because of her.

Cindy had been too young to know their father, had swallowed the story their mum had told—they'd grown apart and divorced—when in reality he'd been a coward, unable to cope with a disabled daughter and had taken the easy way out by abandoning them all.

As for their mum, Cindy wasn't a fool and had been stoic when she'd left. Louisa had emotionally withdrawn for years and Cindy had been philosophical, almost happy, when Liza became her sole carer.

Finding Shar at the time had been a godsend too and Liza knew she wouldn't have made it this far without the full-time carer and confidante.

‘As long as you didn't tell blatant lies, I don't see what the problem is.' Shar picked up the ARC and flipped through it. ‘What did he mean about losing everything?'

‘Apparently the advance came out of his pocket.'

But from what she'd learned, Wade was loaded. He had his own publishing company in London. Then again, she knew better than anyone that appearances could be deceptive. If his company was anything like Qu Publishing and the rest of the industry, maybe he'd taken a hit with the digital boom and was losing millions with falling print runs?

But her biography was already at the printers, ready to ship to the many bookstores that had pre-ordered by the thousands, and those pre-orders were like gold.

So what if she'd omitted Cindy from her story? What the readers didn't know wouldn't hurt them. He'd overreacted, probably smarting more from her omission than any real financial pressure.

Shar laid the ARC on the table and nudged it toward her. ‘Maybe you should talk to him?'

‘Are you kidding?' Liza shook her head. ‘You didn't see how mad he was.'

‘Give him time to cool off, then talk to him.' Shar took a huge bite of brownie, chewed it, before continuing. ‘Besides, isn't he your boss? You'll have to talk some time.'

Hell. Somewhere between the shock of having him turn up at her house and the kerfuffle of fending off his wild accusations, she'd forgotten she'd have to face him at work and see the devastation and disgust in Wade's eyes all over again.

Shar dusted off her hands. ‘Go easy on him. I think he likes you.'

That's where the problem lay.

Liza liked him too.

Too much to be good for her.

After helping bathe and dress Cindy, Liza settled into the nightly routine of rubbing moisturiser into Cindy's dry skin.

She loved this special bonding time, when they relaxed and chatted about their respective days. Liza had missed it on the evenings when she'd been on WAG duty. It spoke volumes about her previous lifestyle that she would've rather been home with her sis than partying with a bunch of fake socialites.

‘That feels good.' Cindy closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the chair as Liza spread the moisturiser evenly over her forearm with firm strokes.

‘Your skin's looking great,' Liza said, always on the lookout for pressure sores or skin breakdown, common side effects with CP.

‘Thanks to you.' Cindy sighed as Liza increased the pressure slightly. ‘Wade seems nice.'

‘Hmm.' Liza deliberately kept her strokes rhythmic, not wanting to alert Cindy to her sudden spike in blood pressure.

She didn't want to think about Wade now, didn't want to remember the disappointment and censure in his eyes as he'd stalked out two hours ago.

His accusations cut deep. He'd assumed she was ashamed of Cindy…well, screw him. He wouldn't have a clue what it was like for her, trying to keep Cindy calm and avoiding stress that could potentially increase her spasticity.

Liza had seen it happen, any time Cindy was anxious, upset, agitated, or excited. The medical team had advised her to avoid such situations, and that was the main reason Liza hadn't included Cindy in the book.

She couldn't run the risk of people invading Cindy's privacy, pestering for interviews and potentially increasing the likelihood of those disastrous contractures.

The changes in Cindy's soft tissues terrified Liza. The shortening of muscles, tendons, and ligaments could lead to muscle stiffness, atrophy, and fibrosis, where the muscles become smaller and thinner. And if those muscles permanently shortened and pulled on the nearby bones, the resultant deformities could be a significant problem.

Her sister worked so hard at her exercises but Liza constantly worried about contractures, where the spasticity in Cindy's arm and leg might reach a point where the muscles required surgical release.

Cindy co-operated most days but they'd had their battles over the years, when no amount of cajoling or bribery could get Cindy to follow her exercise regimen.

Liza hated playing taskmaster but she did it. Anything to avoid seeing Cindy in more pain than she already was. Cindy coped with the chronic pain from the abnormal postures of her joints admirably but it broke Liza's heart every time her sister winced or cried out during her routine.

Liza stayed positive and tried to encourage as much as she could, because the possibility of a hip subluxation or scoliosis from the contractures was all too real and she wanted to avoid further medical intervention for Cindy at all costs.

So including her in the biography and having Cindy agitated or overexcited, leading to contractures? No way, Liza couldn't do it. She'd never intentionally hurt her sister or put her in harm's way and that was how she'd viewed revealing Cindy's identity to the world.

As for Shar's insinuation that maybe Liza hadn't wanted to be tainted by Cindy's disability in some way, that was off base. Liza would've loved to raise awareness for cerebral palsy, the association, and the carers, and her tell-all would've been the perfect vehicle.

But Cindy came first always and she couldn't run the risk of her spasticity worsening.

‘He said he was your boyfriend.' Cindy's eyes snapped open and pinned Liza with an astute glare she had no hope of evading.

‘Guys get confused sometimes.' Liza reached for Cindy's other arm and started the massage process all over again. ‘If you smile in their direction they think you're crushing on them.'

Cindy laughed, a sound Liza never tired of. ‘Maybe that's the problem? You've been smiling too much at Wade?'

‘Could be.'

Though Liza knew smiling would be the last thing happening when they met next. Shar was right. She had to talk to him, had to calm this volatile situation before she lost her job.

And maybe lost the guy, though she had a sinking feeling that had already happened.