Chapter 16

‘There's a book launch I want to suss out tonight,' Wade said, barely glancing up from his paperwork. ‘We're going.'

Liza bristled. She didn't take kindly to orders, least of all from the man she could happily throttle given half a chance.

He'd been bugging her all week, using subtle charm and sexy smiles to undermine her. She'd weathered it all, had focused on work in the hope he'd forget this ridiculous challenge of trying to woo her.

He hadn't, until today. Today, he'd been brusque and abrupt to the point of rudeness and no one seemed to know why. She should've been happy. Instead, a small part of her missed his roguish charisma.

‘We may have other plans,' she said, in a manufactured sickly sweet voice.

He glanced up, the frown between his brows not detracting from his perfection. ‘A rival company is releasing a soap-opera starlet's biography. It pays to scope out the competition, get a few ideas for what works at these shindigs and what doesn't.'

Liza hated the hint of deflation she felt that his command had been pure business and not a burning desire to spend some time in her presence outside work.

Crazy and contradictory, considering that's the last thing she wanted and she had gone to great pains to avoid any out-of-work contact since that kiss on her doorstep.

But a small part of her, the part that reluctantly dredged up memories of their scintillating night together, yearned for a repeat.

Needless to say that part of her didn't get acknowledged these days.

‘Surely you've been to heaps of book launches? What's so special about this one?'

With an exasperated sigh, he flung his pen on top of the towering stack of paperwork threatening to topple.

‘I've heard they're trying an innovative giveaway. Something along the lines of buy the book, get a download of another free.' He pushed aside the paperwork with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. ‘I want to see how well it's received by readers who prefer to hold a tree book.'

‘Tree book?'

His mouth relaxed into a semi-smile. ‘Paper comes from trees. Paperbacks? Tree books.'

‘Cute,' she said, a broad term that could be applied to his terminology or the man himself when he lost the ‘shouldering the weight of the company on my shoulders' look.

He'd been grumpy all day but she'd weathered it, assuming he had profit margins to juggle or worry about. Having him crack a half-smile was a big improvement.

‘My dad used to call them that,' he said, interlinking his fingers and stretching overhead. It did little to ease the obvious tension in his rigid shoulders.

‘He built an incredible company,' she said, surprised by his rare information sharing.

While Wade seemed content to interrogate her, his personal life was definitely off-limits. The snippets she'd learned about the enigmatic CEO had come from colleagues, co-workers who'd given her the lowdown on Qu Publishing. A company founded sixty years ago by Wade's grandfather, a company that had produced many bestsellers under Wade's dad, but a company that had floundered when Wade's step-mother had entered the picture and Wade had left to start his own company in London.

While no one would directly disparage Babs Urquart, Liza saw enough glowering expressions and heard enough half-finished sentences to know Babs wasn't well liked.

Apparently they blamed her for Qu's downfall. And so did their boss.

‘You started out here too?'

His lips compressed, as if he didn't want to talk about it. ‘Yeah. I left after a few years, started my own company in London.'

‘Bet your dad was proud.'

‘Yeah, though we lost touch over the last few years.' Pain flickered in his eyes and she wished she hadn't probed. ‘We caught up infrequently in person. Snatched phone calls here and there.'

He shook his head, the deep frown slashing his brow indicative of a deeper problem. It looked as if she wasn't the only one with parental issues. ‘I resent that distance between us now. He had a heart condition and didn't tell me until it was too late.'

Appalled, Liza resisted the urge to hug him. ‘Why?'

Wade shrugged. It did little to alleviate the obvious tension making his neck muscles pop. ‘I guess he didn't trust me to be there for him, considering I'd deliberately distanced myself from him.'

Liza didn't know what to say. She despised trite platitudes, the kind that Cindy copped from ignorant, condescending people. And it was pretty obvious Wade had major guilt over his relationship with his dad, so nothing she could say would make it any better.

But she knew what it was like to be let down by a parent, knew the confusing jumbled feelings of pain and regret and anger.

‘Kids and parents grow apart. Maybe it wasn't so much a lack of trust in you that he didn't mention his heart condition and more a case of not wanting to worry you because he cared?'

Wade's startled expression spoke volumes. He'd never considered that might've been his dad's rationale.

‘So you're a glass-half-full girl?'

‘Actually, I'm a realist rather than an optimist.' She had to be, because it was easier to accept the reality of her life than wish for things that would never eventuate. ‘And whatever or whoever caused the rift between you, it's not worth a lifetime of guilt.'

His steady gaze, filled with hope, didn't leave hers. ‘I should've been there for him and I wasn't.'

A mantra taken from her mum's handbook to life, too.

‘He loved you, right?'

Wade nodded.

‘Then I think you have your answer right there.' She tapped her chest. ‘If it was my heart and I had people I cared about, I'd rather make the most of whatever time we had together, even if it was only phone calls, than field a bunch of useless questions like "How are you feeling?" or "Is there anything I can do?"'

She lowered her hand and continued. ‘I wouldn't care about how often I saw the person or waste time worrying over trivial stuff like the length of time since we spoke. I'd remember the good times and want to live every minute as if it were my last.'

‘Dad did travel a lot the last two years…' He straightened, his frown clearing. ‘Thanks.'

Uncomfortable with his praise and wishing she hadn't blabbed so much, she shrugged. ‘For what? Being a philosophising pragmatist?'

‘For helping me consider another point of view.' Wade gestured at the office. ‘Dad did a great job building this company and we were close. Until he got distracted.'

His frown returned momentarily and she knew it would take more than a few encouraging words from her to get him to change his mindset and let go of the guilt.

Deliberately brusque and businesslike, he shuffled papers on his desk. ‘I'm here to ensure the company regains a foothold in the publishing market.'

‘I thought that's why I'm here.'

She'd hoped to make him laugh. Instead, he fixed her with a speculative stare.

‘How do you do it?'

‘Do what?'

‘Live your life under a spotlight. Fake it for all those people.'

Increasingly uncomfortable, she shrugged. ‘Who said I was faking?'

He ran a hand over his face. ‘Something my annoying stepmother said, about WAGs leading fabricated lives.'

A shiver of foreboding sent a chill through Liza. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did Babs Urquart know something? Or was she making a sweeping generalisation?

Hell, if her fabricated life ever became known they were sunk and Wade would look at her with derision and scorn, not the continued interest that made her squirm with longing.

‘Guess we all put on a front when we need to,' she said, thankful her voice didn't quiver. ‘Nothing wrong with it if no one gets hurt.'

He didn't reply and his stare intensified.

‘Is that what you're doing with me?' He placed his palms on the desk and leaned forward, shrinking the space between them. ‘Putting on a front?'

Smart guy.

‘Why would I do that?'

Hopefully, he'd buy her feigned innocence.

‘Because you're running scared. I want to date you, and I'm pretty damn sure you want to date me, but we continue to do the avoidance dance.' He beckoned her closer with a crooked finger. ‘What I want to know is why.'

The longer he stared at her, his dark eyes intent and mesmerising, the harder it was to remember the question let alone formulate an articulate answer.

‘Already told you. We work together. It's too complicated.'

She tried to control her choppy breathing, as if her lungs squeezed tight and wouldn't let the air out fast enough. Her excuse for the breathlessness constricting her chest and she was sticking to it.

‘Technically, we don't work together. I'm here in the interim. You blackmailed me into giving you a job.' He waved a hand between them. ‘You and me? We don't exactly fit the mould of corporate colleagues who shouldn't fraternise.'

He wore the smile of a smug victor. ‘Got any other excuses?'

Yeah, Liza had plenty, but she'd never divulge the real reason she couldn't date Wade. Not in a million years.

‘For now, don't we have a book launch to attend?' She stood, putting some much-needed distance between them. ‘How's that for an excuse?'

‘Damn flimsy, if you ask me,' he said, his gaze sweeping over her in admiration.

‘I didn't.' She swept up her portfolio and tucked it under her arm. ‘Email me the book-launch details and I'll meet you there.'

His frown returned. ‘It's two blocks away. Makes sense for us to go together.'

When she took too long to respond, he added, ‘I'll walk you back to your car afterwards. You know, in case you think I'll bundle you into my car and try to take advantage of you.'

She couldn't help but laugh. ‘Okay.'

Wade shook his head. ‘You're an exasperating woman, but if your marketing skills are half as good as your biography, Qu Publishing is going to love you.'

Her heart gave a funny little quirk at the L word tripping so easily from his lips. As long as his publishing company was the only thing that loved her. Because as much as Liza secretly yearned for Wade, she didn't have room in her life for love.

Not now.

Not ever.