Chapter 4

Last night was the longest night I've had with CeCe since she was a baby. I can't help but feel a little ridiculous taking her into the emergency room for an ear infection, but I was out of options and running on no sleep.

By the time we finally got back home and she got settled into bed, it felt useless for me to try and sleep so I stayed up watching a documentary on the animal channel about sea lions. I fully expected for it to put me to sleep, but it managed to keep my attention and I now know a ton of facts about them I'm sure I'll never need.

My sister's knock on the front door stirs me out of my thoughts as I stand against the kitchen island holding a room temperature cup of coffee.

"You look like hell… did you sleep at all?" Her steps slow with each one she takes toward me.

"Barely. I brought CeCe to the ER. She has a double ear infection so I was up all night just making sure she was okay."

"Oh no, really?" Abby reaches into the cabinet pulling out a coffee mug for herself. It's the green one with a sloth on it that I found at the dollar store. CeCe thought it was funny, so I had to buy it.

"Summer was actually there."

"Well, yeah. She works at the hospital, you knew that."

"Yeah, I just didn't expect to see her there so late." My fingers pinch the bridge of my nose as I recall our conversations last night. "She's a real piece of work," I say. "But she was helpful and I—well, CeCe, I think appreciated her help, so I'm glad she was there."

"Imagine that," Abby remarks and sets her cup down on the island.

I had half a mind to call my coach and explain the situation to him and why I needed to stay home with CeCe today. I know he'd understand if I need to stay home. Despite his all business attitude lately, he constantly preaches that our family and our kids should always be our number one priority. But I know I need this meeting and I know—and trust—that CeCe is in good hands with my sister.

"She's still asleep. With any luck, she'll rest a little longer, but then she needs antibiotics when she wakes up." I slide the bottle to the middle of the kitchen island so she sees it and doesn't forget. Although, my sister's never forgotten anything when it comes to CeCe.

Abby nods and begins to make another pot of coffee so I head down the hall to take a quick shower before I leave. Steam fills the bathroom as I let the hot water run for a few minutes before I get in. Hopefully this will pop some life into me before I have to get going, but I'm not counting on it. A couple of years ago, I got pretty good at running on a few hours of sleep, but CeCe quickly became a great sleeper after she turned one, so my body has become accustomed to the seven hour stretches.

Abby's stirring pancake batter in a bowl when I get back into the kitchen and I grab my keys from the dish on the counter, sliding them in the pocket of my jeans.

"So the antibiotics," I say. "It says the amount on the bottle and there's a syringe in the cabinet you can use to make it easier. And—you know what? I'll just write it down."

I reach into the drawer, grabbing my planner and flipping to today's date, writing down the information I just said aloud.

"Got it," Abby says in a sing-song voice while she waits for the stove top to heat up.

"Thanks, Ab. I'll see you later."

"We need to get it the fuck together. I'm tired of losing, man. Three in a row is unheard of around here," Liam says while we stand outside the conference room. Liam's a competitor through and through. He might joke around off the field, but when it comes to the game, he's as serious as they come. It explains why he's been a league MVP and a Super Bowl MVP in past seasons. And unlike me, he loves the public and the media side of things. Truthfully, though, I have no business even being in the public eye. What does someone want with a thirty-two-year-old single dad who watches documentaries in his spare time?

The doors open to the conference room and we all walk in silently. Like kids who know they're about to get reamed out. The room feels like an igloo when I take a seat, causing a chill to run up my spine; although, that could just be from the eerie feeling I have for this meeting. The lights are already dimmed and I see the projector sitting front and center with nearly every single coach and assistant coach in attendance today.

"Take a seat, turn your phones off or put them on silent. Nobody say a fucking word until I'm ready to let you talk, understood?"

A hefty sigh leaves my chest as I glance his way. Coach is about to lay into us today.

I can count on one hand the amount of times over the years I've seen him look this heated. I can't blame him, but fuck, I'm just not in the mood for it today. Running on no sleep and then being forced to sit in a dark room for a meeting is a risky combination when all I want to do is close my eyes.

Hour three ticks by and I think I've heard one guy cough the entire time. Everyone's too on edge to make a damn sound. Coach Aarons has been playing footage and stopping practically every play to tell us how the high school team down the block would be better suited to play than us right now. Offense, defense, special teams… we weren't impressive on any side of the ball on Sunday and he's making sure we know it.

Almost another hour drags by before we're finally shuffling out of the conference room and I can feel my brain processing everything we just went over. The words "do your job" ring in my ears over and over again as I enter the weight room and see Ford and Nate in the back corner.

The weight room is full this afternoon. Practically every teammate is in here, probably trying to prove to themselves or the coaches that they deserve to be here.

This whole place got a facelift during the offseason and somehow it still smells new, despite the fact that fifty guys sweat in here almost daily. The walls are painted bright red with words like respect and commitment written on them. Our Knights flags hang from rafters above and there's always some kind of music being played from the speakers. The floor is lined with different workout equipment and machines. Free weights line the west wall and there are a few stationary bikes closer to the entrance. The large garage doors are open today, letting a small breeze in. It feels good, even though I'm sure this is just the calm before the storm.

‘Stay healthy' is the phrase I wrote over and over in my notebook today during the meeting. I know that coach is relying on me as a veteran and captain to set the tone for how things continue around here this season. It adds pressure—but it's something I'm trying my best to exemplify for the younger guys.

"I'm heading out," I say to Nate as we're finishing up on stationary bikes. "CeCe's been sick and Abby's been there all day, so I want to get home." Nate and I shake hands and I make my way out into the warm breeze just as it begins to drizzle.

The house is quiet when I walk in. Not even the television is on for any kind of background noise, but I know they're here. When I walk around the corner from the foyer and have a sight line to the living room, I can see two adult figures on the couch and then one small ponytail sticking out from one of the blankets. There are pillows all over the floor, an empty bag of popcorn on the end table next to the remote control and a half empty bottle of water. When I get closer, I see Abby's arm outstretched over CeCe, tucking her in close with the pink and white blanket draped over them. On the other end of the couch is a blonde bun nestled in the corner of the couch with a small rose tattoo behind her ear. I know that tattoo. But what is Summer doing here?

Just before I'm about to walk away to shower, Summer's eyes squint open.

"I felt you staring at me," she quips quietly. A tiny smirk peeking at the corners of her lips. I've become almost immune to Summer's comments; they've been coming at me for years.

"I wasn't staring at you. I was pondering… wondering what the hell you're doing on my couch," I whisper, nudging her foot under the blanket.

A breath leaves her lips as she wiggles herself out of the blanket, careful not to wake up CeCe or Abby.

"I stopped by to check on CeCe, but then she asked me to stay and watch a movie. It had princesses and talking animals, not sure what it was called. I fell asleep almost immediately." Summer yawns, and I follow her as she walks into the kitchen as if she lives here and I'm the guest. Her black leggings have a piece of pink string—likely from the blanket, hanging off of her hip with the small of her back slightly exposed as her tank top rides up when she walks.

"Want some coffee?" she asks.

"It's five in the afternoon. If I have a coffee now, I'll be up all night and I'm not in the stage of my life anymore where I can do that two nights in a row. I'm just going to grab some water." My eyes lock with hers for the first time since we've been talking and a sting of regret kicks in.

I should've been kinder to her last night. I shouldn't have been so short tempered and overall just a dick. I'd blame it on my lack of sleep or the fact that I was worried about CeCe, but it's more than that. I've always been like this with Summer. She has this way of always getting under my skin, even when she's being helpful. I can't fucking help it. And I can't pinpoint the reason why I get like this around her.

I've known Summer practically my entire life. She's been my little sister's best friend since the moment they met, subsequently making her a constant in my life. She's loyal, almost to a fault, and one of the few people I know my sister trusts with her life. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about Summer, because I do. I've always looked out for her, the same as I've done for Abby. But Summer is also impulsive, a little reckless sometimes even. She's challenging and there's always been something that irritates me. I know she enjoys watching me squirm. It's like I can see the devil on one of her shoulders just egging her on.

"As you wish," Summer replies, handing me a water bottle.