Chapter 21

The night of Friendsgiving felt like I was living in some dream world, where everything I did seemed to affect Chase in the same way that he's been affecting me for all these years. It felt good to see him squirm a little, to know—even if it was brief—that in some way he was tempted by me. But I'm still not convinced he'll ever go back on his "never kissing again" rule. It'll probably take a lot more than longing stares and hand brushes for him to cave.

I watched his body language that night, I studied how he moved around me, how he spoke and the way he tried to shield himself from ever looking my way. He seemed flustered when we made contact and downright mad at himself when he let his compliment about my dress slip.

I don't want to force anything with Chase, but I'm finding it so hard to understand the more I think about it. I wish I could read his mind, so I can see why he still wants this shield up with me. I've been doing everything I can to earn his trust when it comes to CeCe, and with that I've also been trying to help him realize he doesn't have to be so uptight all the time. He doesn't have to plan everything out to the tee. And he doesn't have to do everything alone. I know letting go of some control is hard for him, but I'm just hoping to help him realize that things can go a little off course sometimes and it will still be okay.

I admire Chase's dedication to the life he's built. The structure he's curated in their life and the safety and security he surrounds CeCe with. He's a better man than most, stepping up in the ways he has. But he has to let himself have some fun once in a while, he has to remember he's still important and appreciated for more than being a great football player and more than being a great parent, but just for being who he is as a man.

And maybe I'm the best person to help him see that.

This morning, I found myself at the entrance of Chase's apartment building, even though I'm not needed for CeCe today. He offered me his second gym key card the other day and while I think he probably regretted it shortly after, he insisted I take it while mine is currently being renovated.

It's a hell of a lot bigger than mine—although, that shouldn't surprise me. His apartment building is much more upscale. The giant floor to ceiling windows are tinted so people outside can't just awkwardly stare in as I do squats or lunges and the walls are a softer grayish-white, making it feel a lot more serene in here than in mine where they're black and makes it feel like a dungeon.

As I'm walking around just to familiarize myself, every corner of this gym looks like it was so well thought out, down to the feminine products available to take in the women's bathroom.

I spend an hour rotating between some of the weights and cardio machines, taking my time as I have the entire place to myself.

The sauna is tempting as I walk by it on the way out. It's a small room behind a wooden door and I swear just standing outside of it you can feel how hot it is in there. When I open the door, the wave of heat hits me in the face and it takes me a second to adjust to how the air in here feels. There's a small bench that runs along the wall across from the door and then an even smaller one near the side, slightly hidden from the window in the door.

Taking a seat in the smaller area, I instantly feel the sweat start to double from what it was just from the workout. I can see the appeal though for these things. It's quiet here—calm and relaxing. The intensity of this heat feels great on my skin, too.

Leaning my head back against the wall, I let my eyes close and my body relax. I'm still not over the kiss with Chase and every time my mind settles, the memory of his lips on mine push through and invade my thoughts. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Sitting here alone, I let my thoughts get carried away. I let the memory of Chase's body against me work its way through my mind. I imagine how things might have progressed if we kept going. If his morals didn't pop out at the most inopportune time. I can feel the ache between my legs and I press my body down against the wooden bench as I arch myself forward.

There's a sound near the door causing my eyes to shoot open and I'm met with the man of the hour himself. Chase strides in quietly, adjusting the string on his shorts. I stare at his bare chest as he pulls his headphones from his ears.

"Oh, I can come back if you want some privacy." He returns the look, staring at my chest that's covered in sweat.

My eyes linger on his body for a moment before we meet each other at eye level and I smile as if I wasn't just picturing him on his knees for me. "You can stay."

He reaches for a knob on the wall, lowering the temperature before he takes a seat on the other side of the bench. I shouldn't be paying so much attention to every move he makes, but I've noticed it's not just me paying attention to him anymore. His eyes are on me just as much as mine are on him. A new development I'm beginning to love.

"Is Abby still with CeCe?" I ask.

He nods, running his hand over his shorts. "Yeah, she took her to the Rec Center for some arts and crafts event."

After this week, Chase's mom will be in town for a while and she'll be helping with CeCe a lot too.

"Oh, okay. This is my first time here, just so you know. It's not like I'm making it a habit coming to your apartment building all the time."

"I gave you the key card and expected you'd use it. No need to justify it."

I nod.

The way he looks right now is downright criminal. Beads of sweat are forming on every part of his body and I have this insatiable urge to just touch him.

"This thing is definitely not built for a crowd." I stretch my legs out in front of me, glancing around at the walls around us.

"No." His tongue coats his lips. "It isn't." His stomach flexes as he sits himself up more, pulling at the waistband of his shorts and all I want to do is run my tongue over his skin. His thigh tattoo peeks out—again only giving me a small glimpse of it as I stare at him. I can feel his eyes on me, too.

The warmth continues to build as we sit in silence for what feels like forever, but it's also a nice change of pace. Most of the time I feel like I need to fill silence with conversation, but right now sitting here and hearing each other simply breathe feels like enough as our eyes keep finding one another's from across the sauna.

The golden flecks in his eyes are consuming and my fingers long to skim against his chiseled jawline. "You're staring, Kincaid." The low rasp of his voice gets my heart pumping faster.

I can feel heat building in every crevice of my body as I settle myself against the bench. "So are you." My words are a whisper.

Like a challenge neither of us want to back down from, we hold our eye contact until he slowly stands and walks closer to me. He's a tall man, thick and built, and as I'm seated here, he's towering over me, trapping me in his bubble and I never want to leave. His knee knocks into mine, spreading my legs apart as he gets close enough to touch and my skin wants to burst into flames.

"You have to stop," he warns, leaning down and tilting my chin up at him with his thumb and index finger.

"You first."

His hand releases my chin and he leans even closer, taking his palm and cupping the side of my neck into his grip. It feels possessive, yet I've never felt safer or more willing than I feel right now.

It's hard to think straight with his hands on me and even harder when I glance at his shorts and see that he's just as turned on as I am right now.

He slides his hand from my neck to my shoulder and skims my collarbone, lighting my body up with goosebumps as he does. I feel the pressure from his fingers as he rubs them over my skin and my chest pumps up and down as a whimper leaves my lips—begging him to keep his hands on me, to keep touching me. But he pulls away.

"You can keep touching me, Chase."

He takes a fallen piece of my hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear.

"No, I can't," he whispers. "If I keep touching you, I'll never be able to stop. I already can't fucking stop thinking about you."

His knee remains between my legs and I spread my knees further apart as I lean against the wooden bench. My head tilts back and my eyes want to close, but I keep them trained on him.

"What are you thinking about?" My fingers gently pull the drawstring on his shorts.

"Right now?" He skims his thumb over my bottom lip and then circles to the top.

Taking two fingers, he glides them down my chest. It's barely a graze as he feathers his way down to my stomach, stopping at the waistband of my leggings.

He smirks and leans his head back slightly before words roll off his tongue. "Peeling these flimsy leggings from your body. Spreading you out on this bench and tasting every inch of you while I watch those pouty lips of yours moan my name." His fingers slowly work their way back up in the same motion as before. "Feeling you coat my tongue and then burying my cock so far inside you that we both never recover." His hand stops just below my neck, and his fingers skim my collarbone as my breath stutters. " That's what I've been thinking about."

He stills in front of me, his gaze rotating from my eyes to my lips and my mouth goes completely dry. My hands shake and my clit throbs at his words.

To say I'm in shock wouldn't be enough. The man standing in front of me right now isn't the same one I've known all my life. He's not the same one I've known even the last few weeks. Because this Chase is hungry . He's tormented. He's downright distressed, caught between giving in to a want or trying to abide by what he thinks is right versus wrong.

He can see the surprise on my face when my bottom lip hangs slightly open. The faint sound of voices outside the sauna causes him to slowly back away and move toward the door.

"I've never seen you at a loss for words, Kincaid." The corner of his lip curves up into the sexiest smirk as he walks out, leaving me in a state of disbelief.

My mind whirls at the words he said to me. Chase said those words to me . I give myself a solid ten minutes to feel my legs again before I decide to get up and leave. I've never had a man's words alone be enough to render me completely still, speechless and quite frankly ready to explode.

Walking over to my car, I've never begged for a downpour more than I am right now. My body could use some cooling off and a bout of rain would do the trick.

Just as I get into my car, a text comes through in the group chat from Abby.

Abby

While I'm waiting for CeCe to finish her painting, let me get your opinions! How does this dress look for the charity dinner?

A picture of Abby in a dark green dress pops up and I have to shift my focus from Chase's filthy mouth to the absolute smokeshow that is my best friend. I know she's still out with CeCe, so she must've taken this a different day. Because the background looks nothing like the Rec Center and every bit like her newly renovated, gigantic walk-in closet.

I'm sorry, I've passed away from how good you look in that dress

Mia

Ford will lose his mind

Abby

Okay… so maybe it's too much for this event then? I don't want to be overdressed

You're the hostess, wear what you want. Plus, it's not possible to be overdressed! It looks so good on you, wear it and let your husband suffer all night

Abby

LOL. You know I suffer seeing him in a suit too

Yeah, but not as much as this dress is going to have him on his knees for you

Mia

It is a formal event, I don't think you'll be overdressed. I still have no clue what I'm wearing. Maybe something pink? My life is full of the color blue and I'm about to add a third, so wearing some pink for me sounds nice

I found this brown dress at the new little boutique on Main months ago. Maybe I'll wear that

It's been sitting in my closet since the day I bought it. On the rack I wasn't sure about the color, but when I tried it on—it took my own breath away. The slit goes up my thigh and it hangs off my shoulders so comfortably. I feel like it flatters me and my body in a way that makes me feel like I could walk a runway.

"You're late," Chase clips when he opens the door this morning. As if he wasn't just talking about fucking me into oblivion two days ago.

"Am I, though? What is time? Is it not just this illusion, a small reflection of change?" I joke while we both stand in the foyer.

His hair styled just right with a small piece curling toward the front. He swallows as we stand there looking at one another and I can feel the tension building by the second. I can feel the air thicken and the sounds from the living room drowning out. The walls feel like they could close in at any minute and just push us closer together.

Without another word, he reaches over my shoulder and closes the door. It quietly shuts behind me and he steps slowly to his left and out of my way, gesturing for me to walk in.

The television is on with one of CeCe's shows playing while she's completely enthralled by her coloring book in front of her. The dishwasher is going and I can hear a pot of coffee brewing as I walk further into the house. All of these sounds register, but I'm focused on the one causing the pounding in my ears and the throbbing in my chest.

"Be good today," Chase calls to CeCe from where he stands at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping away on his phone.

"Don't you want to wait for that?" I ask when I see Chase begin to walk toward the door with a coffee thermos in hand while the pot is still brewing.

His tongue runs between his lips, almost as if it were an attempt to delay his response.

"I, uh…" His throat clears and he slides his free hand in the pocket of his jeans. Black washed denim and a black t-shirt with boots has to be some kind of weakness for me because I'm melting in all the right places.

"That pot is for you. Thanks for your help," The words rush out, and I can't do anything but stare at him before he quickly turns and walks out the door.

The flip between naughty Daddy Chase and put together Dad Chase is something he has quickly mastered.