Chapter 11

CHAPTER11

The sun set before they’d made it even halfway to Naran. The clouds hung heavy and humid in the sky, with a wet wind sending a warning of incoming rain.

Athan wasn’t upset about that at all. Anything to delay their journey.

Elric was glowing now. The rust was still there, but small bits of it had flaked off. He’d accepted Athan’s heat, and it was flowing through him, driving away dirt and darkness.

It wasn’t enough yet. But it was a start. This is what it should have looked like the first time they’d fucked.

But if just one fuck had helped Elric, Athan wouldn’t have gone on this journey with him. Athan found himself aching at that thought. He shivered, remembering Elric’s fingers in his feathers.

“I don’t think I can keep going,” Elric said suddenly, stopping in his tracks. His gaze was fixed on the road winding out ahead of them. “Is there an inn, or…”

Athan shrugged. There probably was, somewhere along this major road. But he didn’t particularly want to see other people right then. He wanted to wrap himself around Elric and pull him tighter.

“I’ll start a fire for us,” Athan said instead, motioning to the side of the road. “If we go a bit deeper into the woods, I doubt anybody will notice us.”

Elric let out a soft sigh. “My feet need a break more than my back needs a bed, I suppose,” he said. He stayed beside Athan, not delving into the woods. He rubbed at the back of his neck and glanced behind them, his expression troubled. “Do you think there are any more… bounty hunters behind us?”

Assassins, Elric meant, and Athan knew it.

“I don’t sense anyone right now.” Athan dropped an ember onto the ground and let it seek out magic, but there was nothing suspicious nearby. Not that it had helped much earlier.

Where had those men even found the kind of magic that could evade Athan? It hadn’t tasted of darkness, so he didn’t think it was Callan’s doing.

It was worrying to think that there were mages out there who were so powerful, but Athan pushed those thoughts down. He had other things to worry about now.

He took Elric’s hand and took him into the forest, letting his flame light the way for them. They ended up at the foot of a giant willow tree, with roots that spread out like a wall. The branches and leaves hung heavily, creating a secluded spot for just the two of them.

“I’ll get firewood,” Elric said.

Before he could pull away from Athan, Athan gripped the back of his neck. Elric gave him a confused expression, eyes widening when Athan leaned down to kiss him. But he didn’t protest. Instead, he leaned in, helping to close the distance between the two of them. He kissed back, and his own hand went blindly to Athan’s back as he pressed in close.

For a moment, it was only the two of them, the entire world centered on them with everything else cast to the side.

Then Athan felt something wet and cold on his cheek. He pulled away, frowning, only to look up to see more raindrops starting to fall. Elric groaned, pulling the remnants of his robes around himself.

“Rain,” Elric said with a resigned sigh. “Of course it’s raining. We can try to keep walking…” But the doubt in his voice made it clear just what he thought of continuing to walk.

“The tree will provide some cover. And the fire will warm you.” Athan smiled, although he wasn’t a fan of rain. “Let’s find that firewood before everything is soaking wet.”

They worked quickly, gathering branches and twigs as well as rocks to contain the flame. Their fingers bumped while they worked, and they kept smiling at each other.

Elric’s smile really was beautiful. It wasn’t fair that the pulse of darkness was still there, lingering under his breast.

Athan would save him. From assassins, and demons, and… and everything else that hurt Elric and was leading him down these dark paths.

Once the fire was lit, the two of them sat back against the tree. A few drops of rain found their way through the tree’s leaves and landed on them.

Elric pulled his boots off and set them next to the fire, sighing loudly. “I am not meant for this much walking.”

“Neither am I,” Athan said, grinning. When Elric gave him a confused look, Athan continued, “I’m meant for flying.”

Elric studied him for a moment, expression strangely solemn. Did Elric know that Athan had thought about simply flying away before, about leaving Elric to this journey alone? He wouldn’t, though. No matter what, there was still something left in the prince that was worth saving.

He’d been sure of it before, and he was even more certain of it now that he looked into Elric’s eyes.

Athan reached out to touch Elric’s cheek and drew him in for another kiss.

When they released each other, Elric asked, “What’s it like to be able to fly? To just… go where you wish to go, to cover great distances with each flap of your wings?”

“What’s it like to breathe?” Athan kissed Elric’s jaw. “I don’t know how to describe it. It’s simply a part of me, the way the flame is. I soar and I burn.”

Elric shivered and pressed in a little more, into the heat Athan exuded. He was silent for a long moment, as though considering, before he rested his head against Athan’s shoulder. “I don’t think we’re going to get much sleep,” he said, changing the subject.

“You need to eat, anyway.” Athan pulled his pack closer and rummaged around in it in search of his stash of nuts and dried berries.

His hands brushed against something else first. He pulled it out, a little surprised. He couldn’t remember having put this into his pack.

The set of playing cards they’d used to play Kithagan Sweep.

Elric looked at the cards, a scowl forming on his lips. “What are you doing with those?” he asked, his voice souring.

“I don’t know,” Athan admitted. “But they’re a good memory for you. An important one.” He set the cards aside and found the small bag he’d been looking for. He handed it over to Elric.

“It’s one of the few things I have left of my father,” Elric said, taking the bag even though his eyes didn’t leave the cards as he started to munch on the snacks Athan had given him. “Even…” His eyes went distant for a moment, like he was seeing something entirely different, and he said quietly, “There was a statue in Alzaria. It was as beautiful as everything else in the capital. My mother… She paid a lot to have it commissioned. It’s gone now though.” Elric hesitated, like he was going to say something else, but he said instead, “The cards are going to get wet.”

“Let’s play,” Athan suggested. He wiped off one of the water droplets, watching it steam away. “It’s not that wet, and it’s too early to sleep.”

Elric’s nose wrinkled. “You can’t play Kithagan Sweep with just two people. You’ll always know what cards the other player has.”

“So we’ll play without allowing discarded cards to be picked up.” Athan began shuffling the deck. “Or we can play another game, if you prefer.”

“Are you going to cheat this time?” Elric asked, quirking a brow at him. “I know you threw the game so Callan wouldn’t win. You don’t have to let me win.”

“No. I helped you win, so you could get back the memory.” Athan dealt the cards and shifted so he was sitting a little further away from Elric. His hand was terrible, and Athan wondered if there was any way to win with such a bad start. It might be better to simply discard them all and hope for a better draw.

Sometimes there was no way to work with what you had.

Athan kept the cards and looked up at Elric. “You shouldn’t discard memories the way you discard a hand.”

“I don’t,” Elric said. “It’s not…” He stared at his hand, rearranging the cards instead of speaking for a moment. “I have nothing, Athan. Nothing. A few memories, here and there? That’s small compared to the help Callan gives me.” But even Elric didn’t look convinced as he brooded over his cards. He finally selected one and discarded it, drawing another.

“Would you give up the memories of today?” Athan asked. He gave up two cards and replaced them. The new cards paired well with the ones he still had, and what had been a terrible hand was looking promising now. “It’s nothing. Just one fuck. Maybe you won’t remember the fear of almost being burned alive.”

Elric froze. “He wouldn’t take it,” he said quietly. “Not something like that. I…” He shook his head, again trading out cards. “Even if he did, my heart would remember.”

It seemed like he believed that, but Athan knew better. That was simply something Callan would say.

A drop of rain landed on Athan’s shoulder and steamed away. “But how much of yourself can you lose before you aren’t yourself? Memories are all we are. If you didn’t remember your mother—”

“I don’t need to remember my mother,” Elric bit out harshly. “I’m better off without memories of her, or my brother. I want the memories of my father, nothing more. Everything else is superfluous. Will you show your hand or fold?” he asked, lifting his cards.

Athan looked at him sadly. “If those memories are so superfluous, why did Callan leave them?” Then he shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t want to ruin the day.” He revealed his cards, not caring if he won or lost.

Elric ended up winning, but he didn’t look satisfied with it. He took the cards and shuffled them, letting them linger in his hands for a moment as he looked through the deck. “I don’t know. I don’t know why Callan does anything.” He lifted his gaze, meeting Athan’s eyes. “I don’t know why you do anything you do either. It’s not just the sex.”

Athan waited for Elric to start shuffling again. “Would you believe that I like you, Elric? You can’t see what I see. The holes, the dirt, the rust. But I see something else, too. I believe in you, Elric.”

A bitter smile twisted Elric’s lips. “Believe in what, Athan? I’m full of holes. I’m rusting. I’m giving memories away, even though it never seems to make things better. I’m not like you, golden and shining, someone everybody cares about simply by existing.”

“Nobody cares about me, Elric,” Athan answered. He dropped a few cards into the discard pile and drew more. “They care about what I represent. The hope for something better, the power I could give. They ask me to revive a loved one, or to power their spells. They want me to slay their enemies.” Athan winked at Elric, although he didn’t feel so cheerful anymore.

If Elric got his wish, how soon would Elric leave him?

Elric looked taken aback, and he lowered his cards. “The innkeeper wasn’t like that. She liked you.” The bitterness in his smile turned a bit wry. “She liked all of you.” He was watching Athan intently, though, something unfamiliar in his expression as his brows furrowed. “Many people we meet seem to just enjoy speaking to you.” He paused, then added quietly, “I enjoy speaking with you. I know I need more from you, but this would be unbearable if I didn’t enjoy your company.”

“Lisa liked me, for a day. She wouldn’t like me for more than that. I’m an interesting anecdote she’ll share, a fun story that will elevate her status among her friends.” Athan held up his hand to stop Elric’s protests. “Not that she’s a bad person. She isn’t. But she also doesn’t… she doesn’t need somebody like me in her life.”

Elric stared at Athan like he’d never seen him before. “No one needs other people in their lives. They’re all transient. They come and go, some destined to be allies while others are to be enemies. Even supposed friends… They’re fickle.”

But Elric needed Athan. Elric would lose himself entirely if he stuck with Callan.

Athan looked at his cards. “We didn’t make a wager.”

“I’ve nothing to wager,” Elric said. “Not with you. I’m not giving you anything I wouldn’t—” He broke off, shaking his head.

“If you lose, you have to kiss me,” Athan said, smiling. “And if I lose, I have to kiss you.”

“That doesn’t seem like something to have to wager on. If you want a kiss, all you have to do is… well, kiss me,” Elric said. He looked baffled, and it was an adorable expression on his face.

“The card shark.” Athan waited until Elric nodded, remembering the other story. “We played cards like this, too. Only we wagered clothes. Every loss meant losing an article of clothing, until one of us was completely naked. And after that, we wagered kisses and actions.”

Athan laughed, remembering that evening. It had been fun, even though he’d known the card shark would leave him in the middle of the night. “He tried to win being on top. I made sure he lost that round, for the sake of his own cock.”

Elric shuddered at that. “Not that I condone cheating,” he said, arching a brow, “but perhaps you made the right decision. If he wished to keep his cock, of course.”

“So what will you wager?” Athan asked, smiling at him. “If you don’t want kisses.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want kisses,” Elric said. “I simply said that you don’t need to wager for them.” He leaned in, kissing Athan gently on the lips. “What would you like, that you don’t think I would offer you?”

“Elric.” Athan kissed him back briefly. “I don’t want anything you wouldn’t offer. I just want us both to enjoy ourselves.”

“Then let’s enjoy ourselves. It’s too wet and cramped for much, but…” Elric looked awkward, shuffling the cards he had in his hands. “Come here. Kiss me. Hold me?” The last few words were very nearly a whisper.

Athan smiled and set his cards aside. “Gladly.” He moved to sit against the tree again, drawing Elric into his embrace. He allowed his wings to manifest a little, to dry Elric and warm him against the evening chill.

“Whatever you need. I’ll give it to you,” Athan promised.

Elric picked up the cards and put them away in Athan’s satchel before settling in with him. “You’re lucky I’m too tired and achy to tease your wings,” he said, kissing Athan again. “Blasted rain. Let’s hope it stops by morning.”

Athan looked up, searching out the sky from between the branches and leaves. He hoped it kept raining. He hoped it would be just the two of them forever, without dragons or shades or kingdoms to conquer.