chapter 17

I was mad at him, and it wasn't his fault. This world wasn't supposed to bleed in. I'd forgotten where I was in the time space continuum. Happens every time. Curiosity finally bit me in the ass. Still, I'd asked him to dinner and ended up hurting my own feelings.

It was easy to forget when we spent time together. When he spoke, it was effortless to gloss over who he was and the things he'd done and still does.

Erique was well spoken. Tender. Attentive. It was impossible not to feel things. He surprised you when you'd least expect it.

The times he was unintentionally playful, and how absolutely, embarrassingly it affected me, were worse.

Well shit.

I had a crush on Erique. A bonafide crush.

Stupidly, I even thought when he brushed his hand over mine, the gifts, the time, he might have had one too.

When will I fucking learn.

We needed a break. He was clouding my judgment. Making me feel and forget, which I couldn't have happening.

It was good he said no to dinner. Knocked me right back into reality. Which was—I didn't belong here.

How do you avoid someone who's everywhere?

I groaned at the memory trying not to bring attention to myself during the morning meeting.

"Did you hear me?" Christine asked. Breaking the spiraling rabbit hole of thoughts.

I frantically glanced around, like a kid who fell asleep in class.

"Oh, sorry. No. What did you say?" I asked.

"Carlotta's coming back."

I winced; Erique was going to love this.

M. Fournier had gathered the cast and crew to make an announcement. Christine was kind enough to offer to translate for me during these rare meetings. It was really helpful, even though I didn't care. Nor did anyone else for that matter.

It was mostly just him sweeping everything under the rug and reminding everyone the show was only a week away and that everything was going to be fine.

Wow. I'd been here for almost three months. My attempts to get home had waned. My stomach flipped and mind fuzzied. It'd been a while since I felt like vomiting.

Yeah. We needed a break.

"Does that mean you're not debuting then?" I asked her.

Christine shook her head. "Unless she has another accident, no."

I felt terrible for my friend. Despite Erique's help, she'd worked so hard and was more than worthy to open the show at the very least.

"You lose money on bad talent. Carlotta is basically walking horse shit in a pretty dress," I said. "Eventually, they'll see that she's not worth it and finally just drop her all together."

"They're stupid," Christine's friend Chloe whispered.

The three of us shared a little giggle.

The managers were either scared or they were actually stupid as Chloe said. Either way, something was going to happen. Erique wasn't going to take this lying down. And to be honest, I hoped he didn't.

"I don't get how she's even allowed here. Didn't she spit on you last rehearsal you worked together?" I asked Chloe.

Christine translated for me; Chloe nodded.

"She knows everyone," Christine said. "That's why she always gets what she wants."

I guess if she's fucking everyone, or did and knew their dirty little secrets, that held a lot of weight.

Erique's "pranks" made more sense now. There would be room for growth within the theater. Have an amazing cast. If she quit, they'd have no reason to hunt him. There could be no backlash against the theater either.

Christine stared at me with knitted brows. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. Just… Yeah. Thank you."

"Are you sure? You look… troubled."

"No. I'm fine. Just a little frustrated with life."

"You do work a lot. You can come stay with my grandmother and I for a few days? We can go shopping!" she said, very excited with the last option.

The thought of staying away from the theater wasn't a pleasant one. It gave me a lot of anxiety, actually. But staying was giving me that too.

I didn't want to be away, but a short time would be nice. I'd also been here longer than I thought I'd be. "Shopping may be good. I do need a few things."

I zoned out the rest of the meeting, thinking on Erique, even though I didn't want too, and how I was going to deal with it.

Then there was the touch I couldn't stop reliving. My cheeks burned at the recollection. How igniting it was. Gentle. How much I hated when I pulled away, but I would have just sat there to touch him longer.

"Understudies are rehearsing first. I'll see you later?" Christine said.

She hugged me and both her and Chloe ran off.

I made my way towards the very back of the stage.

Last week I was offered temporary duties repairing a few props and set pieces. Someone had misplaced or damaged them and the usual prop guy was temporarily working in another theater.

I was a little mad Erique did that. However, it's nice not to be cleaning dusty rooms or statues for the time being. If I was lucky, I wouldn't have to go back to cleaning.

The stone wall set was fabricated in sections. Having a separate piece made it easier to wheel around for repair.

Yesterday I'd tacked on the corner stone that had broken off. It was badly scratched up and a few sections had pulled from the wood.

Though Erique swore the damage wasn't him, I had my suspicions.

Erique.

What was I going to do about that?

Worse yet, I hated that during dinner all I thought of was him. And how I wished he was there.

The bristles from the paintbrush ran over the uneven textures of the plastered rock. It was nice to get to be a bit creative. Even if it was just a rock.

The more I thought about it, the more I was glad Erique didn't come out with me.

It'd probably make things worse. More real. And I don't think I could handle it. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

Ugh. Fuck him and this place.

Without fail, a strange change in the atmosphere alerted my senses. I didn't need to say a word to know that he was suddenly with me.

I always knew when he was near. At least when he wanted me to know.

Go away.

"How was your evening?" His voice caressed my ears. Calming as always. My stupid body betrayed me as if it longed for his sound. Because it did.

I need to go.

"Fine." I did my best to cover the desire in my voice, instead replacing it with indifference.

"Are you ready for your lessons?" he asked.

"Yeah." Though I'll stay my distance and be quiet.

I dipped the brush into the paint bucket and slapped it onto the plaster again.

"We will be meeting in another lesson room," he said. "Our usual is currently unavailable."

"Okay…" I said.

"Would you like to do something with me?"

The way he asked it made my brows furrow.

"Together?" I asked, suspicious.

Without hesitation, he answered, "Yes."

"Erique…"

"Carlotta has returned."

"I'm aware."

"Do you not think Mademoiselle Espanga deserves a welcome home gift?" His tone was too playful. It worried me.

"Damn it," I sighed under my breath. "What are you planning?"

A panel in the wall a few feet away slid open.

"Come with me, mon c?ur ."

My skin rippled over my body at his call. I wish I could say the rising in my pulse was from fear.

No one seemed to notice the panel opening. Or me, for that matter. I chewed my lip while my core turned and danced at the thought of what was on the other side.

Surprisingly, not a negative thought in sight. Suspicious.

The opening was narrow, maybe a bit too narrow for these hips. It did make me wonder about Erique's size. If he was running around in the walls, slipping in and out of these panels, he had to be a smaller person?

"It's safe. Nothing will happen while I am around. Ever," he said.

Why did I want to believe him?

Against my better judgment, as always, I slipped into the dark, which opened up to a much wider space. Not much bigger though.

Bits of light peeked through cracks in the wall. Mostly on the stage side where the wall was unfinished. Not enough to illuminate my surroundings, but enough to see a few inches in front of me.

"Turn around," he said. "Then walk until I tell you otherwise."

"It's a bit dark."

"I will be your eyes. Trust me."

My heart quickened. Obviously, I did trust him, but the dark and the unknown were still terrifying. "I swear to God, Erique, I will kill you if I get hurt in here. If a spider bites me…"

"You don't believe in God, my angel," he cooed.

"I'll make an exception."

"I will keep the spiders at bay."

My heart beat only in my ears while my body went into panic mode. I didn't have to stretch my arms out far to touch the walls.

I hated the dark. I knew there were no demons or actual monsters that could get me, it didn't stop my mind from trying to form faces within it though. A lifetime of horror movies coming to fruition.

"I upset you," he said as we walked on.

We were going to talk about this now? I was not in a great place to talk about what happened last night. Mostly physically. I'd be happy to forget the whole thing actually.

"No, you didn't. Not the way you may think anyway," I answered.

"But I did upset you."

"It's my own thing. Don't worry about it."

Hands that weren't mine slid around the sides of my waist gently, stopping me in my tracks.

Afraid to move, I left my hands on the walls as his body pressed to mine. I had to remind myself how to breathe.

In. Out. In. Out.

How cliché.

"Please know I never wish to displease you." His breath caressed my ear and rolled down my neck, like a light breeze on a summer day. Goosebumps avalanched over my flesh. "I would love nothing more than to join you in all things your heart desires to experience."

My eyes watered at the overwhelming sensations within the small space. "Erique," my voice fluttered. The grip on my waist tightened as I said his name.

It sent me spiraling. My head dizzied as I focused on the pressure of his body.

"Melody…" he said with a slight hum.

My will wanted me to lean into him. Touch him. Let him fuck me right then. Lord knows I needed a good railing.

I fought through my animal brain and found the words to keep us going. "Erique, I understand the boundaries of our friendship. And I respect it."

He fell silent as I pulled away and continued moving without direction, hoping I didn't turn around and say, "just kidding. Come here stalker boy".

"Left," he said.

Finding a corner with my fingers, I turned down another corridor. Erique close behind. If I stopped, he'd walk right into me. The temptation was strong to feel him again.

"If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" he asked. "Home is not an option."

"I don't know."

"Would you prefer silence?"

I sighed and thought for a moment. Where would I go? He already knew that I'd love to travel, but what about something not so grand? A quick fix.

"The carnival," I said.

"Why would you want to go to such a place?"

"I don't know. I just love the food. The games and rides. I know everything's rigged and the rides can kill you, but there's something about it only happening once in a while that gives it some sort of magic. Especially at night, when the lights are up, it's like a whole other experience."

"I wish I could have seen it as you do," he said.

A stab into my heart forced a flinch. When he'd mentioned his time in the show during our talks, it was obvious he glossed over some things. Saying that he enjoyed performing, mask free and making people uncomfortable. But that was also the darkest time in his life.

Something happened that not even the Phantom was comfortable talking about.

I could be so dense sometimes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"No, I love hearing the world through your eyes," he said. "We're almost there."

Through one of the cracks, I saw we were near the dressing rooms. What could he possibly have in mind?

"What would you do?" I asked, pulling back from the wall.

"I would take you to a carnival."

I blinked away the tears that had welled in my eyes again. It's too bad I couldn't blink away the urge to punch him in the face for whatever that was. This man was going to gut me if he didn't shut up.

"Right."

It's a terrible game we're playing. One where both of us would get hurt in the end.

"We have arrived," he said. "There's a latch and notch in front of you. Twist and pull the latch. Then push the notch."

"Is that how all these panels are set up?"

"Now you know."

I thought I'd done it correctly, but when the panel didn't budge, I heard a chuckle from behind.

"You're here too, you could just do it," I said.

"You need to know this. Do it again."

Lucky try number two. The panel popped open and swung to the side.

"Step out, but do not leave," he said.

"You're coming with me, right?"

"Trust me, mon c?ur ."

Sighing, I did as told and stepped inside, immediately getting smacked in the face by some hanging fabric.

It was a freaking closet.

Light peeked around the edges of the curtain where the door would be. I pulled it open just enough to see Carlotta's dressing room and the door to the dressing room next to it.

We were in one of the hallway closets.

Admittedly, this was kind of exciting. As long as it was just a prank, and he wasn't about to hang someone in front of me.

"Ok, now what?"

When he didn't answer, and the air felt different, I realized I was alone.

"Erique?"

I rushed to the wall where I had just stepped through. It was closed. I felt around, trying to find anything that would open it back up. Someone forgot to tell me how to get back in.

"Erique, you fucking asshole!" I growled, mauling the wall.

Irritated and a little freaked out, I turned back to the curtain that separated me from the hallway. From anyone seeing me.

Just as I was about to step out from behind it, a very distinct voice faded in.

Carlotta was nearby.

Coming into sight from around the corner, the managers, her hand maid, and Lorenzo were with the entitled diva.

Of course, they weren't speaking English, so I assumed they were kissing her ass by the looks of it.

M. Fournier rushed to the door to the dressing room and fiddled with the keyhole, trying to unlock it.

Carlotta huffed, stomping her foot, like he was inconveniencing her.

"Ah ha!" she said, when he finally got the door open. M. Fournier bowed and gestured into the room.

The second her foot hit the other side of the threshold, she let out a blood curdling scream. Horse shit and hay had fallen from the ceiling just inside the door.

Carlotta stood there crying and shouting. Tears streaming down her shit covered face. Lorenzo was helpless, lightly trying to dust it from her shoulders.

Erique's thunderous laughter echoed throughout the area. As always, unable to be pinpointed.

My jaw dropped and my hand raced to my mouth to keep the surprise and laughter at bay.

I must have moved the curtain or something, Carlotta pointed out towards me, yelling.

"Run." his voice commanded.

Wide eyed, I threw the curtain open and ran away from the scene.

" Stop! Come back! " someone called out from behind me. Like hell I was going to stop and find out who!

"Left." Erique's devilish voice sounded again, so full of life.

I rounded the corner, nearly colliding into a solid black mass of fabric.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along.

The rush of everything blinded me as we ran. Stars formed at the loss of breath and lightheadedness. The fabric of his cloak wrapped around my arm and billowed as we went on.

I was losing my wind while voices still called out behind us.

We stopped abruptly. Erique swung a closet door open and yanked me inside with him closing it behind us.

My back pressed against the wall and my chest heaved chaotically, trying to catch my breath.

Voices grew nearer as my anxiety level went through the roof.

Then, a finger pressed on the underside of my chin lifting it upwards. A gloveless thumb ran over my bottom lip. Shivers, lightning bolts and everything else zapped through me at once.

"Shh. Dear," he whispered. Warm breath skimming across my lips.

I covered my mouth, trying to muffle the sounds of dying. It was the catacombs all over again. Only this time I'd be fired and lose my way home for certain. I think that was almost worse.

Curious, I bent over and peeped through the keyhole in the door. M. Fournier and Lorenzo, who was still covered in shit, had stopped just outside, a few feet away. Hunched over, trying to catch his breath, M. Fournier, white as a sheet, waved Lorenzo onward.

I backed away quickly, squeezing Erique's hand, pulling him with me.

My back hit the wall that I hoped to shrink into. Why wasn't he popping open a panel or something?

"Do you think she liked our gift?" he chuckled softly against my temple.

I should hate him for this. For putting me in this position. It was hilarious though, even if we did get caught.

"I think she wore it well," I said breathlessly.

I glanced around him at the light coming in through the keyhole, focusing on the voices that were still outside.

" Je serai là. Continue ," M. Fournier's voice muddled through.

A cool, gentle hand pressed against my cheek, guiding my focus away from the happenings outside.

My eyes closed against their will at his touch as prickles of heat cascaded through my being.

Was my heart still hammering against my ribs from the run or was it something else now?

Through foggy eyes, I tried to adjust to the darkness. Maybe see a glimpse of the man I'd been talking to for months now. Even just his eyes would do, to confirm the memory from that day on the catwalk. One emerald green. The other stone-gray.

The heat that filled me shifted. The ache between my thighs returned with a savage want at his proximity, and sudden realization that our fingers were interlocked.

What was happening? Was this on purpose? How could he know we'd end up here? Wait, he was the one that didn't want to be close… What if he kissed me? What if I kissed him?

No. That's just the adrenaline talking.

This was so dangerous.

Be closer.

"Are you alright?" His voice was soft and low against my cheek. The brush of skin was surprising.

"Yes," I barely got out.

With him here, in this closet, I would stay forever. Lost in this moment.

Because only heartache waited for us when we left it.

"I am going to lure them away, so that you may go back," he said.

I panicked and grabbed at him absentmindedly. "No." He stepped closer, pressing his body harder against mine, cementing me to the wall. "Not yet… They're still nearby. I can hear them."

I lied.

The heat from his cheek found mine again. "That's the point, mon c?ur ," he whispered. His uneven breathing rolled over my skin.

Amongst the haze of bliss, my focus drifted to the pressure against my stomach. His own pulsing arousal pressed into me.

This was becoming a problem. The lightheadedness nearly had me on the verge of fainting. It was too much, and I never wanted it to stop.

"Oh, right… yeah," I said. But my grip on his jacket and hand wouldn't loosen. If I could pull him closer, I would.

I inhaled deeply to calm my breathing and control my mind before I did actually pass out.

A familiar scent tickled my senses and pulled an almost forgotten memory.

No. It can't be. The scent of a campfire in the rain.

I stilled. It couldn't be him. That would mean… He knew me. More so, was this some sick twisted trick? Disgusting act of "fate"?

So many thoughts hit me at once. Things I couldn't make sense of even if I thought outside reality. Which I was never really certain this was.

The hand that comforted my face ran along my jaw and under my chin softly, and lifted my head slightly.

The prolonged anticipation was torture.

Kiss me. Please. Or we'll miss out. We won't get this chance again. Please.

My heart skipped. Or had it stopped alto get her? I couldn't tell.

"After you hear me, wait a few minutes. It will be safe to leave." His whisper entered my mouth and flowed through my veins.

If I pulled him into a kiss, would he forgive me? My blood surged from head to toe at the thought.

I nodded helplessly. Again, not going after something I wanted because of whatever bullshit reason.

Be brave.

His hand left the comfort of my face, leaving behind reality.

"Erique…" I said, fragile and shaking. "Don't go… please…" I squeezed his hand harder, trying to keep him in place.

"I will find you later. We have lessons, mon c?ur ." There was a gentle softness to his voice. Almost hopeful in its tone.

"You don't understand," I said, on the verge of bursting into tears.

He kissed my hand. "Shh."

Frozen in place, my arm stretched as far as it would go with him. He slipped into a panel next to us. Our fingers unlocked and slid against the other as he furthered away into the dark within the walls.

Come back.

A slight curl in the tips of those fingers halted his departure for a few moments longer. Until he was gone.

The Phantom of the opera had found his way in, and I needed to expel him.

No matter how much it hurt.