85. Before

The policewoman inhaled a sausage roll before getting out of the car, her lanky partner extracting himself like a praying mantis exiting a pinhole, limbs first.

I opened the door before the knock. ‘Are you here about Jenna?' I asked, letting worry scribble itself all over my face.

‘Detective Bevan,' said the woman. She had straight dark hair and deep purple shadows beneath her eyes. She tilted her head at the man. ‘PC Croft.'

I let them in. ‘Tea or coffee?' I asked.

‘Coffee,' they both said.

It was just after midnight. I'd had a message from Neil at nine, which I'd previewed and left unread:

Still no JBB. Mum has called police.

So, they were only alerted around the time I'd got home.

‘She's still missing, then. Neil must be so worried – and Frances, of course,' I said, carrying through steaming mugs.

‘When did you last see Jenna?' asked Bevan.

I shook my head. ‘This morning. She was upset. Neil must've told you?'

Bevan waited, and I discovered that my usual ability to remain stone-cold had deserted me. I was being questioned by the police; I was expected to somehow not mention the tape.

I cleared my throat. ‘She was very upset. I think she might be being bullied. She's told me things aren't right at home.'

‘And you didn't see her after that?'

I shook my head. ‘Her best friend told me she'd gone home ill. I thought she probably just cut my class. I knew she didn't want to be in the rehearsal. I thought I'd let it slide. After the bell I marked in my classroom until about six.'

‘And then?'

I wondered how easy it would be for them to check. I didn't believe there were cameras on the roads between here and my dad's retirement village. And then I started sweating because I remembered there were cameras all over the retirement village, in my dad's house, and my bringing the girls in would have been recorded.

‘I went to the beach.'

‘One of your students is missing, and you went to the beach?' said Croft.

‘Which beach?' asked Bevan.

I took a sip of tea to give myself a moment. ‘Piskie,' I said. It's a beautiful little pebbled beach. Enough people would have been there for me to have melted into the crowd without it being strange that I didn't bump into an acquaintance. ‘Honestly, I'm sorry – I just assumed she'd turn up.'

‘You didn't check in with the head?' said Croft.

‘I thought he'd call.' I took out my phone and grimaced. ‘Oh, dear. It's on silent.' I put it away, but not before I noticed the missed calls and messages counting up in my notifications bar. I clenched my teeth.

Bevan sighed.

I wondered what they knew of my history with the Beaufort-Bradleys. Had they read my mother's file? Frances had obviously told them they needed to look at me as a suspect. Neil had suggested as much when we spoke on the phone earlier, and here they were.

And then I realised all I had to do was hide Trevethan House and my dad, and wait till morning. I set down my tea. ‘I'm sure you know already that my history with Jenna's family is complicated. That's why you're here.'

‘Why don't you tell us a bit about that?' said Bevan.

I took a deep breath. ‘Her uncle raped my mother. He put her in a coma and had her arrested for raping him. This led to her taking her own life. I think I came back to Port Emblyn to find some kind of closure, because I'm forty-six and I've spent my whole life not getting over it.'

The officers were immutable, stoney-faced at my rather admirable summation.

‘What was behind the decision to take a job at PES?' asked Bevan.

‘I know it seems odd, but I'm a teacher, and PES had an opening, and I, for one, don't think children should have to answer for their parents' mistakes.'

‘How would you describe your relationship with Jenna?'

I nodded. ‘Close. For a student and teacher. Which I realise seems strange. But from the moment I saw that girl, I knew she was struggling. I did what I thought was right.'

Suddenly I started to worry. What if Lydia was wrong about Jenna's cut? What if she was slowly bleeding to death and my going along with all of this was what would kill her?

‘Struggling how?'

I swallowed. ‘I've often seen her close to tears. I've discussed this with our safeguarding lead, who suggested I try to get her to open up, which involves meeting regularly.'

‘Do you know why she's unhappy?'

I tried to remember everything Jenna had told me… that wouldn't land me in trouble for not escalating it. ‘She hasn't given me anything concrete. She talks very… obliquely. Like I said, I think she might be being bullied, but I don't know who by. She hints that her family doesn't pay her much attention. I think there might be an inappropriate relationship developing, but I'm not sure. She has said there's an older boy, but the problem is, she might just be struggling over realising she's gay – her family is very conservative. I don't know if the "older boy" is just her friend, Rose Godfrey.'

Bevan asked me again about Piskie, what time I'd got home, then drained her coffee. ‘You'll have to come to the station to make a formal statement,' she said.

‘Now?' I looked at my phone. It was almost twelve forty-five.

‘These cases are all about the first twenty-four hours,' said Croft.

‘Okay.' But given this would all be over in the morning, did it matter if I looked a little suspicious? ‘I'm sorry,' I said. ‘I think, considering my history with that family, I should speak to a lawyer first.'

Croft sighed.

‘That is your right,' said Bevan. Her phone rang in her pocket and she picked up. ‘Okay. Thank you. I'll call back.' She slipped her phone away. ‘Miss Smith, when was the last time you saw Rose Godfrey?'

I frowned. ‘Running out of the auditorium at the end of school, heading for her bus. Has something happened to Rose?'

‘I'm not at liberty to discuss that.' They stood. ‘Miss Smith, please don't go anywhere, in your search for legal consultation. And take your phone off silent.'

I nodded and made a show of turning the volume up, keeping my face blank of the fear that ran through me as I saw five missed calls from an unknown number and a text saying:

We made a mistake.