51. Now

I'm still staring at the door my brother shut behind him when my phone rings. ‘Have you found her?' Lydia sounds out of breath.

I'm still seeing my brother's smile, as kind as always, right before he left.

But I snap out of it. Lydia has finally called me back. I need to ask her about Jenna and Rose and what the hell has been going on between them.

‘Frances?' she says.

‘No. Why haven't you answered my?—'

‘I had to stay late at work and?—'

‘Did you know your daughter was bullying my daughter?'

‘Rose, bullying Jenna?'

‘Yes.'

She's quiet for a moment.

‘Frances, when will you open your eyes?'

Now I'm quiet.

‘Rose is Jenna's best friend. It's your beloved niece and nephew who've been bullying poor Jenna, and the rest of their cronies, which as far as I can tell is the whole of Port Emblyn. For God's sake. But look?—'

‘You knew?' My heart is thudding and thudding. Did everyone know?

‘You didn't?'

I remember this morning, Ava calling, ‘Jen! Jen! Jennaaaaa!' and screw up my face. ‘Tristan thinks Jenna's at Glastonbury – she didn't say?—'

‘Glastonbury? I hardly think?—'

‘Lydia, I feel like Tristan is… I don't know. He would never… But he… There's something I have to tell you.'

‘You feel like he's what?'

‘Look, listen, when we were kids, when I asked you to, you know, exaggerate?—'

‘Lie. You told me to lie.'

‘That afternoon, you remember why we were all there, late at school?'

She's silent. I find myself standing again in Jenna's room. I study the shining eyes of the spider. When did I even walk up here?

‘Lydia?'

‘Do you think I'd forget?'

‘Well, the sessions were taped, weren't they? And Tristan's tape?—'

‘Tristan's? You said Miss Smith had told him not to start recording. That was a particularly crucial point you made, Frances, in your persuasion of me and Mina.'

I clamp my eyes shut. ‘I know. I thought I was doing the right thing.'

She laughs.

‘Why are you so angry with me? For God's sake my daughter is missing.'

‘Why do you think I'm so angry with you?'

I ignore her question. ‘I was meant to destroy the tape. Tristan said that what was on it could be… easily misconstrued – that it looked bad when it wasn't.' As I say it I know how flimsy it sounds.

‘And you believed him?'

‘Of course.' Because I'm me. Because even if I hadn't believed, I wanted to, so I did.

‘Do you still believe him?'

‘The thing is, I didn't destroy it. And I think Jenna found it and maybe Rose took it from her and?—'

‘What was on it?'

‘I don't know.'

‘You're telling me you never watched the tape?'

‘No, I?—'

‘Frankly, Frances, I'm not surprised.'

‘But I think Tristan knows, or suspects, that Jenna found the tape. That Rose has it. And, whatever's on it, he doesn't want it coming out – he… I think he's maybe trying to slow down the investigation?'

‘He's what?'

‘I don't know. I just got the feeling he was going to try and get in the way of the police. Stop the investigation.'

Lydia takes in a breath. ‘Luckily, he's not God.'

‘But he knows people in the police. He mentioned the commissioner.'

She laughs. ‘And what are you going to do, Frances?'

I can't believe the cold, hard tone in my old friend's voice. We may not have been close for years but some things bind us together forever. Don't they? ‘I don't know.'

‘You "don't know"? Well, are you going to tell the police about the tape? About what he did?'

‘I don't know what he did. I already told them Miss Smith attacked him before?—'

She laughs again. ‘This has gone on long enough, don't you think?'

‘What do you mean?'

‘I mean it's time someone told the police the truth.'

‘You're going to tell them?' Something inside me tenses and relaxes over and over.

‘I just might.'

‘But what if… What if he can just… put the whole investigation – the search for Jenna – on pause?'

‘He would do that,' she says.

I stare at the red marks on my hand from grasping the thistle, the dot on my index finger from the upholstery pin, the pushed-back quick.

‘I doubt even Tristan could stop an investigation this big.'

‘It's not big. They still think she might be at Glastonbury.'

‘Well, it's about to be big.'

‘We haven't even made a press statement. The detective said that kind of thing had to be timed carefully, and even if we do…' I don't say, Tristanknows the press, because do I really think he'd suppress the story of his own niece's disappearance?

‘Two pretty teenaged girls from affluent families go missing on the same day? That sounds like national, front-page coverage to me.'

‘Two?'

‘Why do you think I called you, Frances?'

I stare into my lap, at the dark dot of dried blood. ‘Because Rose is missing too.'