30. Now

I'm about to go downstairs, but first I rehang the spider. I hate it. But if my baby comes back and finds it down, what will I say?

Ifshe comes back? If?

I'm about to call her again when I get a message from Sylvie's mother:

Sorry. We haven't seen Jenna for yonks. Sylvie says she saw her arguing with Rose at lunch and she thinks Jenna might have left the school. Don't worry! You'll find her. We should catch up!

Another message appears but before I can even start to read it's deleted. I wonder what she said and took back, then remember the missing email about Georgia's appointment. I thank Sylvie's mother then I check my inbox again then my junk mail, just in case. And then…

I catch my breath. There it is, in deleted messages, an extra November update from PES.

I got it. Someone deleted it.

It was imperative for me – for my family – to know that Georgia Smith was being hired to teach at PES. Someone who knew that made sure I didn't see the email. Someone who didn't think to get rid of it from my trash.

But who? Georgia couldn't have. The same person who got me fired? Who sent me a picture of Dan with another woman? Who took my daughter?

I hurry downstairs and rush into the kitchen, where I'm vaguely aware of my father pronouncing me ‘Late! Late! Late!' and waving his dinner knife in the air like he's conducting an orchestra or cutting off my head.

Who could have accessed my emails? No one could guess my password. Although, you'd only need access to my phone. And my password for that is written inside the case, because Jenna got tired of having to reset it for me.

And then there's the other possibility: maybe I deleted it and don't remember.

I remember again glancing at the photo and shoving it in the bin and the weeks spent not thinking about it.

Ash and Ava slip in and I see immediately they haven't found Jenna.

‘And where have you been?' asks Father.

They look over at me, mouths opening.

‘They were looking for Jenna,' I say. ‘I can't find her. The school can't find her. I can't get hold of?—'

‘So, that's what you've been trying to get off your chest?' asks Father. ‘Need I remind you of the silliness you got up to at that age?' Father stares at me with raised eyebrows as the word ‘silliness' takes root in my gut. ‘Let's not make a fuss. It's very late and we haven't even said grace.'

Behind him, Mother starts piling food on plates. ‘I expect she just forgot to tell you where she was going,' she says.

‘Good thinking, Dot,' says Father. ‘Good brain work.'

I want to hug Mother, but it'll only make things worse. I try to keep the frown off my face and clear my throat, gathering courage. ‘Georgia Smith is teaching at PES. She's been teaching Jenna drama. And now Jenna's missing. I'm very worried. The head is very worried. I think I need to call the police.'

‘Yes, well, teenagers,' says Father. He pulls a silly face at Ash and Ava and they smirk.

I waited hours to speak to him before calling the police… for this?

Father picks his teeth. ‘I'm surprised you let them hire Georgia Smith though, Frances. I really am.'

‘The email about it was deleted from my inbox.' I say it calmly, hoping the bare fact will break through his bluster.

‘I see. Someone call Bond. Your emails have been hacked. It's a conspiracy.'

I blush and almost laugh at myself for being so silly – but I catch myself. This isn't silly.

Mother places my food in front of me as I stand up. I have to get out and call the police.

‘Oh,' says Mina, tapping at her phone. ‘Looks like I got the email about Georgia but I didn't even open it. They send so much spam.'

We will all have got the email. Me, Tristan, Mina, Lydia. Surely one of us read it?

Tristan wouldn't have. Maybe Lydia did. Maybe she knew this whole time.

‘My email was deleted. And…'

‘And?' says Father.

‘And,' I start with great purpose, but I can't say I'm suspicious about why I lost my job because I haven't told them I've lost my job, and I can't tell them about the photo because it's just another thing for Father to chalk up against Dan and I haven't even decided what I'm going to do about that yet, and the stomach problems were probably just a sickness, and everyone gets their cards stolen these days and…

Father smiles.

‘And someone keyed my car.'

‘The turtle?' It's what he calls my Mini. He sighs. ‘How much is that going to cost me?'

I clench my fists. But he bought me the car. He won't let me pay for anything to do with it. I mustn't be ungrateful.

‘Father, I have to call the police.'

Father rolls his eyes.

‘Is there… How should I handle everything, with Georgia?'

‘A conversation that might best wait until your brother is in residence?'

I nod and squeeze the back of the chair. ‘But I don't know when he'll be home – Theo said they might not make it to dinner. I can't wait.' I shake my head. ‘Ava, Ash, what's Miss Smith like?'

‘I'm not sure how your brother would feel about your discussing her with his children,' says Father.

I feel myself colouring again. ‘No, right, of course.' I look at my watch. Ten past eight. My stomach churns like I'm lying in the hull of a boat in a storm.

My daughter is gone. No one has seen her since lunch. Never in her whole life have I not known where she is. I press my hand to my mouth to stop myself from being sick.

Father snorts.

‘I'm calling the police.'

But Father pins me with his stare. ‘Frances, the police are not a subtle agency. Do we need them traipsing through our home right now when your daughter is going to turn up in a couple of hours?'

By ‘right now' he means during my brother's campaign. He's trying to move into a more prominent position in government. The timing isn't good.

‘The girl just wants attention. My advice would be not to give it to her.'

Of course that's his advice. Her whole life he's done his best to ignore her.

That's true, isn't it?

Because she was born out of wedlock. Because my daughter is a bastard and he's never met her father.

My chair barks against the flagstones as I let go and walk out the door. Then I shout as I slam into something in the dark hallway.