CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Jessie sat upright in bed.

Her abdomen was screaming in pain as cramps worse than she'd ever felt made it hard to breathe. She looked over in bed, but even in the darkness, she saw that Ryan wasn't there. Where was he?

She glanced toward her nightstand, but her phone wasn't there. Had she left it downstairs? She swung her legs over, gasping at the agony in her stomach. Then, with great effort, she pulled herself upright and began to walk.

She moved deliberately, focusing on each step to make sure she didn't lose her balance. She passed through the living room, looking there and in the kitchen, but still saw no sign of her phone. She needed help.

She made it to the front door and yanked it open. Warm air hit her in the face. She was just stepping onto the porch when another cramp slammed her whole body and she collapsed to the ground. She heard footsteps coming up the porch steps and glanced up.

To her surprise and horror, she saw Kyle Voss, her ex-husband, the man who had tried to kill her, staring down at her. He had a malevolent sneer on his face.

"I'm having a miscarriage," she managed to croak in between spasms of pain.

"I know," he said calmly. "You deserve it. You're not worthy of being a mother."

Then, his sneer was replaced by a joltingly loud cackle. She closed her eyes tightly, unable to deal with both the pain and the pleasure he was taking in it.

"Jessie."

The voice came in a whisper, but it felt like it was coming through a loudspeaker.

"Jessie!"

In that moment she realized the word wasn't coming from Kyle but from Ryan. Her eyes snapped open again.

She was lying in her bed. Ryan was beside her, sitting upright, looking down at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She took a second to get her bearings. She wasn"t having a miscarriage. Kyle wasn"t here. In fact, he was dead and buried. It wasn"t the middle of the night but 6:18 in the morning. She was safe in her home with a husband who loved her.

"Yeah," she said. "I guess I was having a bad dream."

"That was obvious," he said gently. "What about?"

Her first instinct was to keep it to herself, to brush it off as nothing. But Dr. Lemmon had talked to her about sharing her concerns with Ryan, and there didn"t seem to be a more appropriate time than now. She sat up, propping the pillow behind her against the headboard.

"I was having a miscarriage. I couldn't find you anywhere. I tried to get outside to find help but fell down on the porch. Then Kyle showed up and told me I deserved what was happening."

Ryan stared at her open-mouthed, then leaned over and pulled her into an embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I wish I could offer some easy fix that would make the pain of what happened to you just go away."

Jessie rested her head on his shoulder, comforted by his words but not sure he totally got it. She was reluctant to say what was on her mind but again figured there might not be another, better time.

"Thank you," she said quietly, not looking up at him. "I'm hoping that you can see why this whole ‘having kids' thing is so challenging for me. Until I can work out how to deal with what happened to me, I can't realistically consider what the future might hold. I know it's not fair to ask you to be patient, especially when there's no guarantee that I'll eventually see things the way you do, but I feel like I have to look out for my mental and physical health first and foremost."

"It's not about ‘fair,'" he told her. "It's about you doing what you need to do. I can't pretend I don't have strong feelings on the matter. But right now, they're secondary to what you need. I get that, even if I sometimes forget."

Jessie leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She could see the disappointment in his eyes and wished she could make it go away. But she knew there was no way to do that and still be true to herself. At least not right now.

"Is that why you woke me up?" she asked, "because you could tell I was having a nightmare?"

"Actually, no," he said, suddenly sitting upright. "We both got a text from Parker a few minutes ago. You didn"t hear it. I know you"re exhausted from yesterday, but I realized I didn"t have a choice but to wake you up."

Jessie glanced over at her phone and saw that there was indeed a message on her phone.

"What is it?" she asked.

"There's another victim," he said. "She was just found."

Jessie shot upright as well.

"Same M.O.?" she asked.

He nodded. "And in the Hollywood Hills," he added.

She swung her legs out of bed and pushed herself upright.

"Give me five minutes to get ready. We can get the details on the way."