Chapter 21 - Victoria

Victoria

I f Paris was a dream, London was my perfect reality.

Granted, I’d spent less than twenty-four hours in Paris, so essentially it felt like a dream. Xavier and I flew into London early this morning. Not together though. He traveled back with his team; I joined Hannah on her private jet.

Xavier and I met up at his townhouse to regroup before spending the afternoon in the city. My body remained delightfully sore from last night. I could only imagine what he had planned for today.

“Here,” I said, handing him the print. “Your present.”

The most adorable smile brightened his face and accentuated his dimple. “This is what made you think of me?”

“It was either this or a pillow with a dog wearing a beret.”

An eyebrow arched but the smile remained. “Good call. Next time we’re in Paris, I’ll take you to the Louvre and explain in detail about how it started as a fortress and then became a palace.”

“Sounds enchanting.”

“Yeah? I can tell you all about who designed the Colonnade and why it’s celebrated as a masterpiece of French architecture.”

“Have I mentioned how sexy you are when you geek out about this stuff?”

“I’m not geeking out.”

“You are one hundred percent geeking out.” I kissed him. “I’ve told you before, it’s not a bad trait to have. Embrace it.”

“Maybe.” An unreadable expression briefly washed over his features. “We should get going. Unless you want to spend all day in here.”

“Tempting. But you promised there’d be shopping.”

“You’d rather shop than have access to this—” he gestured at his body “—all day?”

“Having access to that—” I mimicked his hand motions “—isn’t limited to this townhouse.”

“No?”

“Remind me which one of us propositioned the other with public sex the first night we met?”

He smirked. “Regretting your decision to blow me off?”

“I didn’t blow you off. I was suffocating under the weight of your ego.”

“Wow.” His tone dipped into the darker one I loved. “I’m going to save that remark for a rainy day.”

“Good thing it rains in England every five minutes.”

We decided to go to Leicester Square and Covent Garden. I only had today with him before heading back to Manhattan. My flight was scheduled for seven this evening and I planned to make the most of every second.

“Would you like to go see some of the work I’ve done on your cottage?” he asked while we strolled through the outdoor market. Several people stopped and whispered when they spotted us. It didn’t faze Xavier one bit. Me either, to an extent.

Escorting professional athletes to press conferences or events was part of my job. However, it was much different holding hands with one of them on a crowded street. Especially if said athlete was a global soccer star and had millions of fans. I noticed more than a few onlookers pause to snap photos of us.

“I would but I don’t want to waste all day in a car driving back and forth. Next time?”

“Next time.” He draped an arm over my shoulders. “I haven’t done any work upstairs. Would you prefer if I stay away from your sister’s room for now?”

Wisps of guilt and remorse squeezed my chest. Being in Charlotte’s room for the first time in nearly twenty years had such an effect on me. It was more than finding her diary or feeling her spirit in every corner.

It felt like I’d lost her all over again, even though everything in her room remained frozen in time.

“I would, yes,” I responded quietly. “I’d like to take my time packing her belongings and…yeah, just stay downstairs for now.”

He kissed the top of my head.

“How’s everything going with the foundation?”

“Good. I think I figured out what the name should be.”

We stopped walking to browse items on a vendor’s table.

“Are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” I teased. “But I will give you a hint. It sort of ties into the meaning behind my tattoo.”

Xavier’s expression softened. “Still rising from the ashes?”

A lump formed in my throat. “Always.”

Two teenage girls ran over and breathlessly asked Xavier for a picture. They giggled and blushed when he agreed.

“We’d like one with you as well,” one of them said to me. “If you don’t mind.”

I smiled, taking the phone from her while they flanked Xavier. “I don’t mind.”

They were cute. Excited and shy about meeting their favorite soccer player.

Charm came so naturally to Xavier. The genuine smile. The eye contact. The friendly banter. He had an innate way of making people feel at ease, all while luxuriating in their attention.

When it was my turn, I passed the phone off to him and posed with the young girls. They thanked us over and over, looking at the photos and chatting with starstruck grins.

We continued our stroll, bypassing the numerous clothing shops and jewelry stores. I did take a detour into one shop to get a bottle of my favorite perfume.

“Is this what you use?” Xavier asked, spraying it onto a sample card.

“Every day.”

His dimple appeared when he waved the card in front of his face. “I’m putting these all over my bedroom so it’ll always smell like you.”

“That almost sounds not creepy.”

I heard him laughing when he walked outside to wait for me while I made my purchase.

“Where to next?” I rummaged through my bag as I approached him on the sidewalk. “Hungry? More shopping? Back to your place for a quickie?”

I found my lip gloss and reapplied some, observing the people around us. My sister would’ve loved this. All the stories we dreamed up while we people-watched as kids flooded my memory.

“That guy just had his heart broken,” Charlotte said, motioning toward the man across from us.

“How can you tell?”

“Easy.” She leaned closer to me. “Look at how he’s staring into nothing.”

“So? I stare into nothing all the time. My heart is in one piece.” Honestly, my sister comes up with the weirdest stuff sometimes.

“Tori, you’re not paying attention as usual,” she scolded. “He’s holding a box. I bet it’s the engagement ring she turned down. Or something sentimental he gave her that she doesn’t want.”

I shot her a skeptical look. “You can tell all this from over here?”

“You’re insufferable. That’s my story for him. What’s yours?”

I scrutinized the guy. Average looking. Medium height. Could use some help in the style department. “I bet he’s a serial killer and he stuffed some of his victim’s underwear in that box as a souvenir.”

Charlotte looked at me, horrified. I couldn’t hold back my laughter and broke character. “I’m kidding , Charlie. He looks like a high school science teacher about to meet a blind date. He’ll bore her with anecdotes about plant cells versus animal cells. But she’ll have sex with him because he’s not ugly.”

“I don’t know how we’re related,” she muttered.

I shook my head and smiled. Poor Charlotte. I don’t know how she put up with me.

“Xavier?” I glanced at him, surprised he hadn’t responded to my quickie suggestion and found him staring into nothing. Well, not quite nothing. I followed his gaze to where a young boy stood with his father.

There wasn’t anything unusual about it. They were talking and laughing. But then I noticed another little boy, standing quietly a couple feet behind them. The dad turned and asked him something. The little boy shrugged and nodded.

His eyes met Xavier’s, who stared back with empathy.

That’s my story for him. What’s yours?

Sadness poured into my heart, dulling some of today’s enjoyment. “Xavier? Are you okay?” I gently put my hand on his arm.

“I’m fine, love.” He didn’t sound fine.

“Let’s go find a café and relax for a bit.”

We walked until I spotted a small restaurant tucked away on a side street. Only a couple of tables were occupied in the outdoor dining area. Xavier and I were seated in the corner, away from everyone else.

After the server set our drinks on the table, I spoke.

“When Charlotte and I were younger, we’d make up random stories about people if we were out shopping or having lunch or whatever.” I kept my tone light. “People watching was one of our favorite things to do.”

Xavier rubbed his fingers on his lips, studying me.

I sipped my water and asked with as much sensitivity as I could, “What affected you so much seeing those boys with their dad?”

Even though he’s naturally guarded when it comes to talking about his family, Xavier’s been allowing himself to show more vulnerability around me. We’re both navigating a delicate dance around events that affected us deeply in our youth. It hasn’t been easy, but so far, it’s been worth it.

Although, I wasn’t sure if he’d entertain this question.

Much to my surprise, he did.

“Believe it or not, there was a time when Adam and I actually got along. I wouldn’t describe us as close , like you were with Charlotte, but…”

I waited, not wanting to push him or ask anything.

“I got it in my head that my father had an easier time showing affection or attention to Adam because he wasn’t directly responsible for my mother’s death.”

A deep, painful ache expanded in my chest.

“I know this look, Tori,” he said quietly. “It’s not about blame or guilt. I’ve seen enough therapists in my life, trust me. Disliking Adam was my coping mechanism. I channeled all the unresolved pain and directed it at him. Adam and I fought constantly. My dad didn’t know what to do or how to deal with me, so we stopped communicating. We’re both stubborn, so once that happened our relationship was pretty much done. After I was accepted into Royal City’s development league, I threw myself into football and left everything else behind.”

I blinked back tears. Xavier gave me a hard smile.

“Not what you expected?” His acerbic laugh scorched my lungs. “At sixteen, I alienated the only parent I had left, and he didn’t give a shit. Pride and arrogance. The best of the Maddox family traits and I inherited both of them from my father.”

I reached for his hand and held it. Tension lined every muscle in his face. Haunted sadness ghosted through his eyes before dissipating. So much of what he’d told me resonated with my own shattered past. My relationship with my mother remained fractured beyond repair.

“You once told me everyone responds to grief differently.” I spoke low and gentle. “I am so sorry you carry this with you.”

In situations like this, any words or platitudes felt hollow. I didn’t know what else to say. All I wanted to do was ease this for him in some way. But how can one broken person possibly offer anything to heal another?

“I’ve never told anyone that before. About what happened with my dad. I...” Xavier’s expression blanked as he stood up. “Let’s go. I’m sure you don’t want to listen to me tell sad stories all afternoon.”

The ache returned to my chest. I did want to hear his stories. I wanted to know everything. Our time together was too short.

We paid and left the café. As we approached the main street, Xavier paused. “Tori.”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

I caught his eye in time to notice another mysterious veil dissolve. Only this one wasn’t covering any hidden dark desires. This one revealed a deep affection I haven’t seen before.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be.” I laced my fingers through his and squeezed.

His gaze held mine for one brief, burning moment before he looked away, jaw flexing.

“I’m changing your flight. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”