Chapter 2 - Xavier

Xavier

“ T hat is nasty .”

I turned to see Cade pointing at my bruised hand. “What the hell happened?”

The changing room was mostly empty after today’s training session. A couple of the guys heard Cade’s exclamation and looked over. I shot them both warning glances.

“It’s nothing,” I finally said.

“Whose face was on the other end?” Cade asked in a low voice.

“Nobody’s.” Just that worthless shit’s stomach.

Cade’s skeptical expression irked me. We’ve known one another since we were twelve. He could tell when I was being less than truthful.

“Whatever you say, mate.”

Before I could respond, my fucking step-brother approached us.

“Xavier.”

“Adam.” I have to admit, he looked anxious about something. “What do you want?”

“We need to talk.”

I forced a laugh. “Unless it’s about Saturday’s match, we don’t.”

His eyes narrowed when he folded his arms. “We do. Meet me in the car park when you’re done here. And don’t make me come back in to find you.”

He left in a huff. Rolling my eyes, I tossed my training kit in with the rest of the dirty clothes and went to the recovery room for an ice pack. Cade followed close behind.

“Want me to come out with you in case things with Adam go, uh, not well?” he asked.

“Nah. I can’t imagine this will last longer than ten seconds.” I winced a bit when the ice touched my skin. I could feel Cade staring at it and looked up. “What?”

“Maybe you should talk to Victoria. It might help you,” he paused, gauged my reaction and continued, “calm down a bit. You’ve been on edge since leaving her in New York.”

My mind flashed to the night Victoria and I read through her twin’s final journal entry. Victoria had been nearly inconsolable. I did my best to comfort her all the while imagining dozens of ways to make Jordan suffer.

The other night at the club was nothing. A mere warm-up for the main event.

“Xavier,” Cade prompted. “Will you talk to her?”

Desire twisted around my heart. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, feel her skin on mine. Hear her laugh. See her smile.

“Not yet.” I failed to avoid his steady gaze.

“Don’t fuck this up.” Cade looked solemn. “She’s the best thing that’s happened to you.”

“I know,” I admitted. “You still going to Bennet’s?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a bit.”

I shook off the unease and sense of dread that’s been eating away at me since Sunday. My impulsiveness ruled my life these days. Going after Jordan like that would probably end up biting me in the ass somehow.

Whatever.

Knocking him out felt bloody amazing.

Adam was waiting for me when I sauntered through the car park. If he looked agitated before, he was downright panicky now.

I won’t lie. It made me uncomfortable.

Not that I’d let it show.

“What’s this about?” I asked, stopping in front of him.

“Remember Philip?”

I stifled a smile. “The Duke of Edinburgh?”

Adam glared at me. “No, you asshole. Philip Edgewood from the Royal City under-eighteens. The one who busted his knee and couldn’t play football anymore.”

I shrugged. “Sort of. Why?”

“We’ve stayed in touch over the years. Still go out for a pint now and then. He told me he works for Jordan. Tech lead for all his security operations. Been there for a couple years.”

My blood turned to ice. Jordan’s family had as much, if not more, money and resources as Bennet’s. His entitled ass decided to form a private security company fifteen years ago. It had more shady operations than legitimate ones. And since his sick and twisted mind got off on threatening and intimidating people, he made it a point not to be picky when choosing his targets.

I had to play this off like I didn’t give a shit. “So? Why are you telling me?”

“You’re not stirring up trouble with him again are you? You know what happened last time.”

“Nope,” I lied, keeping my expression as neutral as possible.

“Right.” Adam shook his head. “I saw Philip last night. He said Jordan is livid and has it out for you.”

For the first time in ages, I glimpsed a side to Adam I haven’t seen since we were kids. The time when we actually looked out for one another, like brothers are supposed to.

I kept my gaze steady, waiting for him to continue.

“That’s all.” He shrugged. “Thought you should know.”

I sunk my hands into my pockets, keeping a curious stare fixed on him. The last time Adam and I were even remotely civil to one another was the day he mistook Victoria for Charlotte. I still couldn’t believe he’d dated her twin when we were teenagers.

“Thanks for the tip,” I finally said, stepping to the side.

I was almost at my car when I heard him call after me. “Did she say anything else about me? In her diary?”

An unexpected jolt of anxiety shot through me. Adam and I only spoke about Charlotte and her diary that one time. I made it a point not to indulge in any further conversations about her with him.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to face him and answered with a curt, “No.”

I watched him drive off, wondering how I was going to control the gathering storm I’d set off the other night. Finding out Jordan already contacted Victoria complicated everything. All I wanted to do was go back to New York, bring her somewhere secluded, and…and what?

Quit football?

Abandon everything I’ve worked so hard for?

You’re nothing .

I shook myself out of this dangerous spiral.

Cade’s voice echoed when he yelled out, “Maddox. Ready to go?”

“It’s a little early, no?”

“Whatever.” Cade waved his hand dismissively. “He won’t mind.”

I nodded, getting into my car.

The drive to Bennet’s was pleasant enough. Cade often drove like he was trying out for the next Formula One race. I lost him pretty quick on the motorway. Fine by me. I wasn’t in a rush to get there. Part of me considered calling to let him know I wasn’t coming.

But then Bennet would moan and complain and tell me if he could take time out of his busy schedule, so could I.

Bennet’s father dropped more responsibility on him for this season. Next year, Royal City Athletic would be fully under his control.

Not bad for the posh-looking teen who’d taken Cade and I under his wing when we were sixteen.

The day he’d come up to us on the pitch would forever be seared into my memory.

We’d just lost a match. Rare, since I’ve excelled at my position forever. But he extended an invitation for both of us to join the development league for the club. I signed on as their goalkeeper, Cade as their striker. Two years later, we had contracts.

Life-changing isn’t a proper way to describe the opportunity. I’d felt it in my bones. It licked, sparked, and pinched my lust for being noticed, being seen, being watched.

All those eyes fixated on me. Waiting to see what I’d do next.

You’re nothing .

I squeezed the steering wheel and turned down the long private road.

Logan Estate was massive. Not Buckingham Palace massive but close enough. The size and scope didn’t intimidate me one bit. Quite the opposite. It comforted me. Let me know this was exactly where I belonged. Meant for something bigger, something bolder.

Cade leaned against his car when I pulled up. Without warning, a powerful sense of deja vu razored its way into my reality.

Footsteps.

My body twisted from a violent shove. I managed to regain my footing but…

Pain. Blunt and crushing against my jaw. I staggered and fell to my knees.

“That him?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

Silence.

The jangling of keys.

More pain. Bright and searing, above my left eye. A fist grabbed me by the hair, banging my head so hard against the car I saw stars. Something warm and sticky ran down my face.

Another sharp pull on my hair.

“If you try something like that again,” the unfamiliar voice threatened, “I’ll take your fucking eye out.”

My head snapped back and hit the car again.

More footsteps. Two car doors slammed shut and an engine roared.

Rapid knocking on the window jolted me from the memory. I turned sharply to see Cade.

“We going in or what, mate?”

I nodded, getting out in a daze. I didn’t let that particular memory consume me very often, if at all.

Gravel crunched beneath our feet as we walked to the door. A couple other cars were parked closer to the house. One belonged to Bennet’s assistant. I didn’t recognize the other.

Muffled voices wafted through the hall as we approached the library. One of the French doors was closed, which seemed odd. Bennet always kept these doors open.

Cade walked in first. I nearly crashed into him when he stopped short.

“Cade. Xavier. I wasn’t expecting to see you for another hour,” Bennet drawled from his usual spot at the fireplace. “I’m surprised you’re early for something.”

I was about to make a flippant remark when I noticed someone sitting on the couch. I could only see the back of their head but it looked—

“This is a lovely surprise, isn’t it?” Jordan stood and turned to face us.

Another vivid, unpleasant memory from that fucking night came into sharp focus.

“The bleeding finally stopped.”

“He should get stitches.”

“Do you really want to take him to hospital and deal with all the questions? I’ve already called my private physician. He’ll be here any minute.”

I opened my eyes, half expecting to see whatever medical drama was playing on the telly. But that’s not where the voices came from. I blinked, getting a clearer picture of my surroundings.

Fireplace. Soft couch. Dark wood paneled walls. The smell of leather, smoke, and alcohol.

I blinked again, struggling to sit up. Pain lanced through my head, almost knocking me back down.

“Careful.” Cade looked worried and angry. “You took a nasty hit to the head, mate.”

“What the fuck happened?”

Nothing seemed to make much sense at the moment. All I remembered was being at a party and running out to get something from my car.

I reached up and touched above my left eye. It was hastily bandaged but holy shit the pain. I stared at the blood staining my fingertips when I pulled my hand back.

“You got jumped in my own fucking driveway.” Bennet crouched down so he was eye level with me. “Do you know who it was?”

“No idea,” I mumbled.

Bennet’s stare overflowed with anger. “My security team is going through the video. I’ll find out. And there will be hell to pay.”

I leaned back into the couch and must have closed my eyes because the next thing I knew a doctor hovered over me.

“We need to stitch this up.”

Fighting this wave of unconsciousness was tougher than I thought. When I opened my eyes again the doctor was gone and Cade was sitting in one of the big leather chairs with his elbows propped on his knees. I touched above my eye. Still bandaged but not hurting as much.

“You’ll probably have a scar.” Bennet’s voice came from the same spot by the fireplace where he’d been standing when tonight’s party started.

“Doctor said the cut was pretty deep,” he continued. “Maybe keys. Possibly a knife.”

My hands clenched into fists. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Vitriol and hate strangled each word as they came out of my mouth.

Cade’s reassuring hand on my shoulder did nothing to slow the rage burning inside me. Neither did Bennet’s warning glance.

“That’s no way to greet an old friend, Maddox.” The sound of Jordan’s voice sliced through me. “Especially since our last date ended abruptly.”

All I wanted to do was pound my fists into his face until those onyx pools that passed for his eyes closed from all the swelling. Permanently.

My hand twitched.

“Gallagher. Good seeing you, too. How long’s it been?”

For his part, Cade remained silent, leveling an icy glare in Jordan’s direction.

“I wish the two of you had called first,” Bennet said smoothly.

“Nonsense,” Jordan scoffed. “It’s just like old times, right? A little chat. Some drink. Maybe a few ladies. Is your girlfriend visiting, Xavier?”

Blind rage consumed me. I covered the distance from the door to the couch within seconds and had Jordan in a chokehold. Cade tried to pull me off him but fuck that. I wasn’t releasing this piece of shit’s neck.

Fury spread from my chest to my limbs, ripping through me. I squeezed his neck tighter.

Bennet gripped my arm with inhuman force and yanked me back so hard I thought he dislocated my shoulder. His strength stunned me. I almost took a swing at him but the look in his eyes stopped me dead in my tracks.

“That’s twice, Maddox. You should really work on your anger issues.” Jordan rubbed his neck and aimed a dark stare at Bennet. “We’ll pick this up another time, yeah? You have your hands full.”

Both Cade and Bennet restrained me while Jordan left the room.

Every breath I took drove a phantom spear through my lungs, making it impossible to retain enough oxygen. Maybe it was for the best.

Maybe I should just let it all rip me apart.

Maybe…

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

You’re nothing.

All the muscles in my body tensed. The pressure building inside my chest exploded. A sharp yell ripped through the room.

It took a few seconds to realize it came from me.

“Let him go, Cade. I got it.” Bennet kept an iron grip around my arm.

Blood pounded in my ears. “Sorry,” I muttered.

“Sit” was all he said in return. I scrubbed my hands on my face and ran them through my hair before sitting on the couch. Heavy tension filled every corner of the library.

The cut was pretty deep. You’ll probably have a scar. You got jumped in my own fucking driveway. That’s no way to greet an old friend.

“Drink.” Bennet held out a glass of scotch.

I extended a shaky hand and took it. The amber liquid coated my throat in smoky relief. Without saying a word, Bennet refilled my glass. The alcohol helped but it wasn’t what I wanted.

What I really wanted was Victoria. If I could only pull her close, bury myself inside her, and lose myself in her warmth, her laugh, her embrace…I’d feel whole again.

Instead, I leaned my head back and listened to the silence.

“Why was he here?” Cade asked the question playing on the tip of my tongue. “And why didn’t you tell us?”

“He was here because I invited him. And again, you weren’t supposed to be here for another hour.” Bennet’s cold reply signaled there would be no further discussion.

“Whatever, mate.” Cade sat next to me. “You feeling better?”

“I’ll be fine,” I lied, trying and failing to extinguish the persistent embers of wrath still coursing through me.

Bennet sat on the other side of me. The three of us must look ridiculous. Cade with his sour pout. Bennet with an exterior so icy it could freeze the sun. And me, a ball of rage and anxiety wound up tight enough to burst.

“You think I don’t know what you did the other night?” Bennet scolded. “You think I don’t have contacts at that club? What the fuck, Xavier?”

I lifted one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “I thought our chat was rather productive.”

“You assaulted him for no reason.”

“No reason?” I sat up straight. “Have you forgotten the hurt and guilt consuming Victoria? That prick—”

“It’s over,” he interrupted, standing up. “Almost twenty years have passed. It’s not your place to—”

“Not my place?” I stood as well. Both hands balled into fists. I’d be more than happy to let one land on his face. I steadied myself, ready to swing at him.

But as angry as I was, I didn’t move when Bennet clasped a reassuring hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

“I know this is hard for you. I know your instinct is always attack first and ask questions later. You don’t want this trouble. Not over something that happened so long ago.”

He’s partly right. Getting jumped that night wasn’t enough to set me off. At least not to this extent. But after learning what he did to Victoria’s sister and the tragic aftermath and how she’s lived with all that guilt for so long?

All the muscles in my body tensed again.

“Xavier, don’t make the same mistakes. This isn’t— You’ve worked too hard to get yourself right. Don’t let Jordan get under your skin. He’s not fucking worth it.”

I felt Cade’s presence when he rose to his feet. “Not really sure what you two are going on about. Does this have to do with Adam and the thing that happened at the Legends stadium?”

Bennet and I shared a knowing glance.

“That’s part of it,” I responded. “It’s not my story to tell, Cade.”

The star striker glanced from me to Bennet and back to me. “Is Victoria okay?”

Just hearing her name nearly shredded me. I swallowed hard, looking at my friend.

“I can check on her if you’d like,” he offered. “Nothing dodgy or anything. Just a text here and there. Maybe—”

“Probably not a good idea, Cade,” Bennet interrupted. “Let us handle this.”

Cade shrugged and nodded. Bennet turned his attention back to me.

“Stay away from McKennie. I mean it. You’re making things worse than they need to be. Leave him alone.”

I clenched my jaw. Bennet could be a prick at times but he’s right. I am complicating the situation. Reckon I still haven’t learned my lesson from the last time.

Will I ever?

Cade and Bennet talked around me. I heard them, but I didn’t. A million thoughts swarmed my brain. None of them made any sense.

That’s not quite true.

Only one made sense.

If I continue along this path, I’m going to destroy everything I’ve achieved and lose the one person I can’t live without.