Chapter 13 - Xavier

Xavier

M y final ten days in Manhattan flew by so fast it gave me whiplash.

One minute, I was lounging in bed with Victoria, convincing her she didn’t need to be on time for work. The next, packing a suitcase for my flight home to London.

The silver lining? We’re finally having our weekend getaway.

“This is beautiful,” she commented, stretching her arms over her head. “How did you manage to reserve it so close to the holiday?”

“Charm,” I replied, admiring her supple curves and the fiery tattoo inked alongside her ribcage. We’d been outside lounging by the pool all evening. “And a sizable amount of money.”

The description online referred to this place as a cottage tucked away among spruce and cedar trees when in reality it was a large, two-story home with a sprawling backyard, pool, and outdoor hot tub. Much too big for just the two of us but I liked how secluded it was.

As promised, all mobile phones were turned off and stuffed in a drawer.

I watched Victoria walk slowly to the edge of the pool. This fucking bikini she wore would live in my head rent free forever. There’s no way in hell she’s wearing it to the cookout. Birthday or not, nobody but me will ever see her in it.

“Impressive, Maddox.”

“ This is what finally impressed you?” I approached her from behind. “Thought it would never happen.”

Her light, melodic laugh filled the night air.

“I’m always impressed by you.” Victoria turned and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Try not to let it inflate your fragile ego.”

“Too late.”

She pressed a kiss to my chest before resting her head on it. I sifted my fingers through her damp, wavy hair, trying like hell to freeze time. Or at least memorize how soft she felt against me, the way her heart stuttered any time I caressed her, and the quiet moans of contentment that vibrated through her just from being close to me.

Leaving her while knowing there was still an unresolved threat looming wracked my body with unease.

Before we’d left to come here, Bennet texted me nonstop about convincing Victoria to let Marcus keep an eye on her. Something had gone down at the stadium last week, but he didn’t elaborate. Victoria didn’t mention anything out of the ordinary. Hopefully the disturbance was either contained or Bennet overreacted.

Regardless, knowing I’d be far away from her didn’t sit well with me at all.

“Why are you so tense?”

“I’m not.”

She stared up at me. “The weird thing about standing like this with you is I’m able to actually feel all your muscles bunch up. Sit on the lounger.”

“Are you bossing me around?”

“Yes.” She stood back and crossed her arms. “Sit.”

I obliged out of curiosity more than anything. Victoria climbed on the lounger and knelt behind me.

“I’m giving you a massage so you can relax.” She smoothed her palms over my neck and shoulders. Her touch immediately shot bolts of electricity through me, tightening my muscles further. “The other kind of relax, Xavier.”

A quiet laugh rumbled in my chest. “Of course, city princess.”

I purged all thoughts of Jordan and my lingering unease to focus on the firm, sure hands applying pressure to my shoulder blades. Her movements were controlled and methodical, shifting closer to my spine, moving out, down, and repeating.

By the time she reached my lower back, all the tension I didn’t know I’d been holding melted away.

The air around us hummed with awareness when she scratched her nails up my neck and into my hair. Our breathing synced in soft, even breaths. I felt her breasts press into my back when she leaned into me and gently massaged my scalp.

This felt fucking good.

“Is it helping?” Victoria’s warm breath tickled the back of my neck.

“Yes, love. Thank you.”

“Anything for you.”

Why did she sound melancholy?

When I felt her body pull away, I turned and saw her looking up at the sky. I tilted my head back. Can’t say I’ve ever seen this many stars. Makes sense though. We’re miles away from any big cities, so there’s no light pollution. It’s just us and the universe.

“Think they’re fireflies or giant balls of burning gas?” I joked, catching her gaze.

A tiny smile touched her mouth before she looked up again.

At first I thought her eyes glistened from taking in all this beauty. But then I saw a single tear slide down her cheek. It nearly broke me.

“Thinking about your sister?”

Victoria nodded. Another tear left a damp trail. Her lip trembled slightly.

“I’m sorry. This weekend is supposed to be for us. Not me getting all emotional.”

I cupped her face in my hand. “Don’t ever apologize for this, Tori.” More tears slipped down her cheek.

“It’s been twenty years.” Her voice cracked. “Twenty years since she was alive and we celebrated our birthday together. Do you know what that means?”

I did know but I stayed quiet, rubbing her tears away with my thumb.

“I’ve lived more years of my life without her, than when she was with me.”

There were very few things in this world I couldn’t withstand. Seeing Victoria cry was one of them. All I wanted to do was make this better for her.

I pulled her into a tight hug, holding her as close as I could. Somehow, I knew this was the first time she’d ever broken down this way in front of someone other than her best friend. The weight of this moment didn’t escape me.

“It’s not fair, Xavier,” she choked back a sob. “Charlotte should be here. She should be thriving and happy and— I should have done more. I shouldn’t have taken her that night. I shouldn’t have left her alone. It’s my fault.”

I gripped her with such force I thought I might break her. “That’s your mother talking, love. You were just a young girl yourself. What happened was completely out of your control.”

Something caught fire in my chest. Something fiercely protective.

I’m going to fucking kill him .

There is no way in hell Jordan will get away with hurting her. I don’t care about the consequences. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe and happy. Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes.

Victoria gently removed herself from my embrace, tilted her head back, and shouted, “ FUCK ,” into the darkness. She covered her face and took several deep breaths.

Her pretty mouth twisted into a frown when she looked at me.

“I’m sorry. I don’t ever break down like this in front of people not named Killian.”

“I figured.”

“I don’t know what got into me. I was really enjoying giving you that massage. I’m sorry.”

“No apology is necessary.” I rubbed another tear away. “I’m glad you trusted me enough to break down like that.”

She winced. “Sorry I said the thing about wishing you trusted me more.”

“New rule.” I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her so we both laid back on the lounger. “No more apologizing for things you shouldn’t be apologizing for.”

“Fair enough.” She curled up closer to me, gently stroking my chest. Her fingers traced the tattoos I have near my collarbone. “ Cicatrix . This means scar , right?”

“You do know more than just vulgar slang in Latin,” I teased.

“Don’t get cute.” She propped herself up on an elbow. “What do the angel wings underneath it signify?”

I held her inquisitive stare. “What do you think it signifies?”

Empathy filled her eyes. “A tribute to your mother. That’s why you have it close to your heart.”

I nodded. “They were my first tattoos.”

A wistful smile tugged at her mouth. “It’s weird how similar our lives are in regards to loss. I just…it never entered the realm of possibility when I first saw you.”

“I remember.” I swept my thumb over her lips. “You couldn’t stop undressing me with your eyes.”

“Let’s not ruin the memory with wild interpretations of what actually happened.”

“Wild interpretations?” I laughed. “I fully admit I undressed you in my mind at least a dozen times on the side of that road. And again at Black Rose. Don’t pretend you didn’t do the same.”

Victoria regained her confident, fiery composure, although a hint of vulnerability reflected in her eyes. “I plead the fifth.”

“You can’t plead the fifth when I know the truth.”

Her soft laugh warmed me from the inside out.

“I’ve started some initial work on setting up the foundation in Charlotte’s memory,” she said after a few minutes. “Tracey’s been a big help so far. Noah, too.” I tensed slightly at the mention of Noah’s name. Victoria noticed and placed her hand on my chest. “Would you be interested in throwing your celebrity status and support behind it when the time comes?”

“I’ll throw whatever status and support you need right now. Just tell me what I can do to help.”

My God, this smile. Good thing I was reclining on the lounger. It would have brought me to my knees.

“Consider yourself fully recruited.” Playfulness sparked in the emerald depths of her eyes. “I was right about the product being more than just a pretty face.”

We settled into a comfortable silence, staring at the sky for another hour. The more she relaxed next to me, the more I never wanted this night to end. I curled an arm around her. This was quickly becoming my favorite moment with Victoria.

“Xavier?”

“Yes, love.”

“Do you ever think about fixing your relationship with your dad?”

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “I guess I don’t know where to start.”

“I can definitely relate to that,” she muttered.

“Your mum?”

She nodded. “My dad brought it up when we had dinner together. I wouldn’t even know what to say to her. You saw what happened when she called that day. All of our conversations turn into shouting matches.”

“At least there’s some type of emotion,” I said flatly.

“I bet your dad shows more emotion than you realize.”

Aside from the fleeting wistful glances, I couldn’t think of any.

Except for …

“He seemed really proud of me when I signed with the Royal City development league.” The words fell out of me too easily. “I thought that would be the thing to make me stand out in his eyes. Not my interest in architecture. It would be football. The thing we bonded over when I was six and he’d take me to the pitch. I thought maybe he’d look at me the way he did before Rebecca and Adam showed up. Maybe he’d stop looking at me with that fucking anguish when he thinks I can’t see it.”

I spoke so low I wasn’t sure I’d actually said all of this out loud.

“I’m sorry, Xavier.” Victoria’s soothing voice filled some of the cracks I’d allowed to open. “I’m sure you do stand out in his eyes, even if he doesn’t know how to show it.”

My head fell back into the cushion. “No more talk about families tonight, okay love?”

“Okay.” Her soft body pressed into mine. “Thank you for sharing this with me. It means a lot.”

Neither one of us said anything further for a while. I liked being able to open up to her. I also liked that she didn’t push when I’d reached my limit.

“Have you ever fallen asleep under the stars with someone?” she asked.

“No.”

“Really? Not even to impress your legions of girlfriends?”

“Legions? I wouldn’t go that far.” I glanced down at Victoria. She looked peaceful. Eyes closed, long lashes fanning over her cheeks. “Have you?”

“No.” She yawned, draping an arm across my stomach. “Never liked anyone enough to try all the romantic stuff.”

Whatever the fuck my heart just did nearly killed me. Victoria’s fingers brushed over my skin, settling me from…I don’t even know what that was.

Another long stretch of relaxed silence fell around us.

Victoria’s chest rose and fell with steady breaths. I watched her sleep for a bit, unable to tear my eyes away. She looked so content. Like she’d finally found the place she belonged.

My eyelids became heavy as I stroked her hair. I never really pegged myself as a romantic type of guy but falling asleep under the stars with Victoria might convince me otherwise.