Chapter 11 - Xavier

Xavier

“ S end it back. It’s undercooked.”

The distain in Killian’s tone made me laugh. I glanced at Victoria, who stared at her best friend.

“It’s perfectly fine,” she admonished. “Some of us like our steak a little juicy.”

“Some of us don’t want to see a horror movie on a plate. Could there be any more blood?”

“Since when did you become the beef police?”

“Since I stopped eating it.”

“Children,” Max chimed in.

Killian mimicked him silently while Victoria tried to enjoy her dinner.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the three of them in action together. Not much has changed. I was a little surprised when Victoria mentioned they wanted to have dinner with us, meaning her and I together.

This is the first time I’ve socialized with them since arriving in New York. I’ve been here for almost a month now and could take a hint.

I assumed they still weren’t huge fans of me. Maybe that’s changed.

“What time’s the big photo shoot tomorrow?” Killian asked me in a chilly, forced tone.

Guess not .

A satisfied smile pulled at his mouth when I lifted an eyebrow in surprise.

“She tells me everything. You should know this by now.”

Victoria glared at him. “I do not.”

“Right.” He rolled his eyes and turned his attention to me. “Anyway. I hope it goes…ah- MAZE -ing.”

Max choked on his drink. Victoria clenched a fist. Killian stabbed into his salad looking quite satisfied with himself.

I see what he did there. The maze. He knows.

And I get it.

He’s the closest thing she has to family. I hurt her.

He’s the protector. I’m the asshole.

But I could also play this game. And I can do it much, much better.

I cupped my hand behind Victoria’s head and pulled her close. “It’ll be more than amazing,” I murmured, brushing my mouth along the column of her neck. Her pulse fluttered under my lips. “Especially since you’ll be there with me.” I kissed her before she could say anything. Not a chaste kiss either. A full-on fucking kiss. Deep and passionate. The kind that leads to dirty deeds in public places.

Victoria went limp when I pulled back. Her dazed expression intensified when I bit down on her lip.

“Tou-fucking-ché,” Killian muttered.

Max dabbed his forehead with a napkin. “So, uh, when does your soccer season start, Xavier?”

“Mandatory training begins week after next. Then I have a couple of international matches. One in France, one at home.”

“Paris?” Killian perked up.

“Yes.”

My phone vibrated while the lads talked around me about shopping and cafés and French pastries.

Bennet: We have a problem

I tensed. This shit again. It’s been a couple weeks since the party at the Caldwell Estate. The whole Jordan situation quieted down once he left Manhattan. Still not sure why he’d come here.

That’s the problem. The not knowing. At least when I punched him and knocked him out I knew he retaliated by confronting Victoria.

Now?

I clenched my jaw. Maybe Bennet was right. Victoria needed someone to watch over her while I was away. I can’t leave her exposed to whatever Jordan might have up his sleeve.

I started typing a reply.

“Are you going to Paris for the game, Victoria?” Maxim asked.

“I’m planning to. We have a preseason game that week so I’ll fly out after that. It’ll probably be a quick trip.”

Me: Something that needs attention now or can it wait?

Bennet: Sooner rather than later

Me: Is he here?

Bennet: No. Alex has some information

Me: Will it hurt her?

Bennet: Can you talk?

“Xavier.”

I looked up, unsure of who said my name. All three of them watched me.

“Texting your hot friends?” Killian sounded bored.

“Yeah,” I muttered, sending another reply while fighting back my instinct to find McKennie and rip him apart.

Me: Not now. At dinner with Tori

Apprehension, anger, and the inability to control this situation burned through my blood. The warmth of Victoria’s hand covered my thigh, soothing some of the unease. How she manages to relax me with a single touch is unreal.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

No . “Just an annoying situation.”

“Stealing my lines, Maddox?” Her adorable little grin hit me right in the gut.

I will never get enough of her smiles. I’d seen Victoria naked, and in fancy dresses, using that mouth to do wondrous, filthy things to my body, but she was never more beautiful than when she was just being herself. Witty, charming, stripped of all her self doubts, and smiling.

I swear she gets more beautiful every day.

Fucking hell. I’m that guy now, aren’t I? Completely under her spell.

For what it’s worth, it’s my favorite place to be.

I’ll never let him hurt her.

Blushing a little, she squeezed my thigh. I took her hand in mine and held it in my lap. Killian’s slightly arctic demeanor thawed.

“So I guess everything’s been going well since we smuggled you into the fundraiser.” His unwavering stare burned through me.

“Watch yourself, Killian,” Victoria said quietly.

Max shifted in his chair. “We don’t need to bring up—”

“It’s okay,” I interrupted. “Let him say what he has to say.”

Whatever he needed to get off his chest couldn’t be as rough as all the criticism and taunting I’ve been subjected to throughout my career. Some of it came from commentaries or sports writers who had nothing better to talk about. Most of it was just fans being fans, hiding behind their computer screens or mobile phones.

When I put on England’s jersey, I was revered as a national hero. When I stood in goal for Royal City against another club, I was the villain.

Both roles fit me well enough.

My chest squeezed. This was different. I didn’t want to be the villain now.

Strained silence clouded the table. Max grew more fidgety with every passing second. Victoria sat still next to me, the picture of poised elegance. Except for her eyes. They flared with warning.

“Fine.” Killian cleared his throat. “Listen, it’s no secret I haven’t been your biggest fan lately. You did what you did. It was shitty and nothing can change it. But this one—” he waved a hand in Victoria’s direction “—doesn’t let just anyone in.”

“We’re back to calling me this one ?” She tapped her nails on the table.

“Are you going to let me finish?”

“Are you going to be an adult?”

“Christ,” he muttered. “Look, I’m not mad at you Xavier. We’re all adults.” He shot a petulant look at Victoria. “We all do stupid shit and mess up, even when the intention behind it comes from a good place.” His tone softened for the first time tonight. “I’ve never seen Tori in love before. She…it’s…it’s hard to want to rip your fucking heart out when she looks at you the way she does.”

“And how does she look at me?” I asked, turning to meet her big, green eyes. A small tremor rolled through her. Small enough so only I could see.

“The same way you look at her,” Killian replied. “Like you never want to look away.”

A few hours later, I surrendered to the truth behind Killian’s words.

I never wanted to look away from Victoria.

Why would I? This fiery redhead with curves for miles, a smart mouth, and the most beautiful heart known to man was the only person who could bring me to my knees.

And I was perfectly happy to let her.

“I borrowed one of your shirts to wear as pajamas,” she called out from the bedroom. “Hope you don’t mind.”

I hadn’t even seen her in it yet and my cock jumped with interest. All things being equal, there wasn’t much about Victoria that didn’t interest my cock. Even after I’d spent the better part of the last hour fucking her.

“Fine by me,” I answered, walking toward the kitchen. I grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator, turned, and immediately dropped them.

“That was smooth,” she laughed. “Forget how to use your hands?”

Hands. What hands?

Intense lust paralyzed me. Victoria Chase was wearing my jersey. Not one that’s sold in a store or online. My jersey. The one I wore during our final match. It’s much too big on her but fuck me did she look sexy. My eyes flicked over every inch of her.

Hair pulled back.

No bra.

Nipples erect, poking the material.

No shorts or yoga pants.

Socks.

I exhaled a ragged breath and ordered, “Turn around.”

Toying with the hem of the shirt, she turned slowly. “Like it?” She glanced at me over her shoulder. “The green is a little bright for my taste but—”

“I love it.” Her body. My name. “You’re only allowed to wear this from now on. Get rid of the rest of your clothes.”

“Oh ha, ha. You’re full of jokes.” She waltzed up to me, bent down, and picked up the water bottles. Her eyes traced over my body. “But if that’s the case, you’re only allowed to walk around shirtless in these sweatpants. What’s fair is fair.”

“I’ll consider it.”

“By the way, next time you fly to see me right after a game, please wash your uniform. This,” she pointed at my jersey, “was rancid. I had to wash it twice.”

“Kit.”

“What?”

“It’s called a kit.”

“Seriously? One of these days we’re going to get through a soccer-related conversation without you correcting me.”

“You know you like it when I do. And it’s football.”

She pressed a bottle into my bare chest. The cold felt good on my heated skin. “Uniform. Kit. Tie. Level. Soccer. Football. Nobody cares.”

“Want me to bend you over that couch and prove you wrong?” I warned.

“Maybe.” A sexy, teasing smile curved her full lips. It drugged me almost as much as the sight of her in my clothes. The primal, territorial part of me loved all the different ways I could stake my claim on her. Nobody else would ever see her this way.

“We should do something couple-y.” She curled up on the couch.

“Haven’t we been doing couple-y things since I’ve been here?”

“Things that don’t involve brain-melting sex.” Her lighthearted tone filled the room. “Let’s watch a movie.”

I laughed, sitting next to her. “Okay, city princess. What should we watch?”

“Nothing lame.”

“That doesn’t really narrow it down.”

“Fine. No remakes. Those are the worst.”

“Horror?”

“Maybe.”

“Science fiction?”

Victoria rolled her eyes, grabbed the remote, and pulled up the menu. “Look at me.”

I happily obliged because looking at her was all I really wanted to do anyway.

“Tell me when to stop scrolling. But you can’t look at the screen. No cheating.”

No problem. I could study the delicate lines of her profile all night. Soft, wavy hair pulled up in a loose bun. Long lashes framing gorgeous eyes. Lips made for hours of kissing.

More than a few seconds passed before I told her to stop.

“Finally,” she giggled. “Oooh good choice.”

I glanced at the television.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“ The Lion King. ” Victoria’s cheerful reaction did nothing to stop my muscles from locking up with tension. “A classic.”

She lowered the lights, grabbed a blanket, and cozied up next to me.

I remained quiet while the sweeping opening scene played, sneaking glances at Victoria. She had the most captivating smile on her face and her eyes widened with joy. This was probably a childhood favorite for her.

“Charlotte and I used to watch this all the time,” she said, confirming my thoughts. “We sang Hakuna Matata so much it drove my mother crazy.”

Once Scar lost his lunch, she turned to face me, still smiling. “Don’t tell me you’ve never seen it.”

A better man wouldn’t have tried to come up with fake answers. But it’s her and the truth fell out of me before I could stop it. “My dad and I would watch it together on my birthday.”

Victoria’s expression softened. “Oh. We can watch something else.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine. Besides, I like seeing how happy it makes you.”

“When is your birthday anyway?”

“October.”

She stared at me with an expectant look in her eyes. When I didn’t say anything further, she shook her head in frustration.

“The whole month? Or do you pick a random day each year?”

“Keep sassing me and your ass will be red before Simba reaches the water hole.”

“Promises.”

“So much trouble.” I paused. “The twenty-fifth.”

“Was that so hard?”

We fell into a comfortable silence as the movie played on. Victoria snuggled into my side and rested her head on my chest. I felt her tense up during the traumatic wildebeest scene. It always bugged me as well when I was younger. Good thing my fa—

No fucking way. I shook myself right out of that shit. I’m not going to let these bloody animated lions get the best of me.

“I wrote a thesis on Hamlet and The Lion King when I was in college,” Victoria said out of nowhere.

A surprised laugh fell out of me. “Why?”

“It’s fascinating. The movie is inspired by Hamlet and the themes are transcendent. Greed, power, revenge. And, at least in the movie, redemption.” She lifted her head to look at me. “Obviously, there are differences. Hamlet didn’t have a Timon or a Pumbaa to help him find happiness, so he spiraled into his own dark thoughts. And Simba thought he was doing the right thing when he followed Scar’s order to run away because he believed he killed his own dad.”

“Like I killed my mum,” I said absently.

Victoria sat up straight. Concern seeped from her.

What the fuck did I just say?

No. No. NO.

FUCK .

“Xavier, you—”

“Drop it.”

“I’m not going to drop it.” She shut off the movie and fully faced me. “You didn’t kill your mother. You were a baby. Nobody blames you.”

“I never said anyone blamed me.”

A deep ache pierced my heart from the gentle touch of her hand on my chest. Talking about my family wasn’t a preferred topic. For some reason though, it didn’t feel quite as daunting with Victoria.

I covered her hand with mine.

“I don’t want you to think I haven’t dealt with any of it. I have. I worked with a family therapist at a very young age. When I was old enough to understand some of the medical explanations, it helped ease the guilt I felt.”

“It must have been really hard for you,” she said quietly, placing her hands in her lap.

A shadow of sadness passed through her eyes. I knew she was thinking about her sister.

“It was. Fortunately my dad met Rebecca and she managed to make things a bit better.”

Victoria picked at the blanket. I didn’t plan on being open with her about any of this right now. Someday, yes. But not now.

“Do you see them often? Your dad and step-mother?”

“Occasionally.” Rarely . “I had dinner with them a few days before coming here.”

“You did?” Her warm smile thawed the chill crawling through my veins. “How was it?”

I shrugged. “The usual.”

“I’m sorry.” She climbed onto my lap and straddled me. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and ask too many questions.”

I’d never spoken this much about my childhood or family with anyone. Not even Bennet or Cade, and they knew some of the worst shit about me. Telling Victoria was…well, it was…comforting. Simple. Normal.

I wish you trusted me more .

Maybe this is also what she meant when she’d said that. Trusting her with all of it. All of me.

“I’ve told you before, love. You can always ask me anything.”

Victoria appeared thoughtful. “I am curious about one thing.”

“Tell me.”

“What did your mom look like?”

Growing up, I had several old photos of my mother framed in my bedroom. Some showed her pregnant and joyful. Others were from her university days.

“Pretty. Brunette. When I was younger, my dad told me I had her eyes and her charming personality.”

“Ohhh,” Victoria laughed. “That’s where it comes from.”

A full grin bloomed on my lips. “Yeah.”

She kept smiling at me. A beautiful, gentle, adoring smile. Emotion surged to the thing in my chest, nearly causing me to reveal my darkest mistakes. Not the ones related to disliking my step-brother or feeling inadequate in my father’s eyes.

The dangerous ones. The ones where people got hurt because of my reckless decisions and impulsive behavior.

I wanted to fall apart in front of her. Piece by jagged piece, until she put me back together.

Beautiful but broken.

I pulled her closer. Not because I intended to shag her again. Although the feel of her pussy nestled against my cock put up a good argument. I just needed to have her close. Breathe her in.

She calmed me simply by existing.

“Thank you for telling me.” The tenderness in her voice reached down and grabbed hold of my heart.

“There’s nobody else I’d rather tell.”

“Am I going to be the first you tell all your secrets to?”

“Do you want to be my first?” I dragged my hands along her thighs, picking up on the sensual note in her voice.

She ran her fingers through my hair. “First.” She kissed my nose. “Last.” Her lips pressed against my forehead. “Only.” The softness of her mouth on my scar sent violent shivers through me.

I desperately wanted to hold onto this moment. Hold onto this happiness.

I had to.

My past keeps threatening to break free.

Dark thoughts. Spiral. Revenge. Redemption .