30. Chapter 30

I never thought I would say I was happy to be in a bland, dull, quiet study room at the campus library. After a very emotionally heavy weekend, which included the surprise reunion with my brother and Brynn announcing she was moving, I was exhausted by Monday morning. We all knew it wouldn't be long before Brynn moved, but no one expected it to be in a month.

As happy as I am for everyone, it feels weird that our little family is starting to break apart. It was inevitable, with our group consisting of people my age and a year older, but you don't realize how fast time goes until you're staring the end in the face. Brynn graduates this winter, then we'll lose a good chunk of our group next spring. Cody and Chloe, JP and Grant, and Gregg and Macy will be calling their time at CTU over.

At least I'll still have Harris.

And Bret. How has it been only three months since she came strolling back into my life? Three months of turning my world upside down with her perfect, high-pitched throaty laugh. Her green eyes remind me of my hometown lake and are now left unguarded. The confidence she has to crack jokes and bust our balls as if she's been a part of our CTU family for years.

Everything about Bret being here feels normal, as if this was her destiny to begin with. The more I'm with her, the more I crave her. Her energy, her spark, her heart. With the season almost over, it won't be long until I can claim her and shower her with my love out in the open.

I didn't realize how much I was floating through the motions of class, football, and partying until she arrived. Bret Campbell might have come here needing an escape, a place to feel safe, but in doing so, she's given me a purpose outside of the mundane. Day by day, I'm starting to find myself through her—the real Crew Riggsby with a passion outside of football and the family farm.

"Earth to Crew." Lauren's elbow nudges mine from where she sits next to me. The motion startles me, causing me to jump in my seat as my attention is returned to the present.

"Shit," I say, shaking my head. "I didn't mean to zone out."

"It's fine," Eric grumbles from his spot at the whiteboard. The guy has black and blue circles under his eyes. He mumbled something about extra conditioning to drop weight for his weight class on the wrestling team.

Leaning back in my chair, I scan the colorful notes on the board. "Where were we?"

Lauren sighs as she skims over her notes. "We are trying to decide the overall game design and concept."

"I think we need to focus on the core mechanics and features," Eric adds. "We should map out the player's journey from the very beginning to mastering the technique using precision agricultural techniques."

Flipping through the pages of my notebook, I read back critical points from the lecture when we first discussed the video game concept. "I agree. I think the very beginning should start with basics like seed selection, planting, and watering. Will the player focus on cover crops or only on natural watering processes? "

"Oh, I like that." Lauren scribbles something in her notebook while Eric jots the ideas down on the board. "Then, as the game progresses, we could introduce concepts like soil analysis and the benefits of drone usage."

Snapping my fingers, I point my finger at her as I lean forward in my chair. "Exactly. Drones are all the rage, and there could be substantial benefits of using drones with farming."

As the conversation continues, a thrill runs through me. This is why I chose to go to college and get a degree rather than staying at home and just taking over the family business. I wanted to learn, expand my knowledge, and continue to grow the agricultural industry.

"Let's assign tasks," Lauren pipes up. "We have two weeks to finalize everything, and as much as this is a group project, we all have our strengths."

Eric and I nod as I stand from my seat to take a picture of the whiteboard for my reference.

"I think it's safe to say you should run with the education aspect, Crew."

"Yeah, I agree," comes from Lauren. "This was your idea to start with, and you seem to have the most knowledge of what should be included. Could you reach out and find some success stories?"

I nod, mentally going through the list of topics to explore. "I know someone who has had their farm mapped, I can try to contact them."

Lauren looks over at Eric, and a sheepish expression highlights her face. "Eric, if it's all right with you, I'd like to focus on the marketing. Video game design isn't something I'm super confident in—but I can try if I need to."

Eric shakes his head as Lauren's worry eases. "I'm what you call a video game connoisseur."

"Great, looks like we've got all the areas covered." I clap my hands together as I gather my notebooks. "I'll be here Wednesday night at six for mandatory study tables if you guys want to meet up."

"Sounds good," Eric and Lauren both say.

As we gather our things, Eric erases the whiteboard before the three of us leave the private room. Excitement swirls around us as we exchange conversations on our way out of the library and go our separate ways.

I'm halfway to the union when a large, black arm is thrown around my shoulders. "Wassup, Riggs?"

"Not much, Big Man."

JP groans, and I chuckle. "Wicked woman. She better not let that stupid nickname stick."

"I've already changed your name in my contacts."

"You heading in for food?"

I nod as we step around people. Girls pass by with flirtatious smiles.

"How come I haven't seen you hooking up with anyone this semester?"

"Maybe I'm keeping it away from the apartment."

"You think Campbell has a problem with it? She's never seemed bothered when I bring girls back."

"I don't think she cares. She told us from the beginning she wouldn't cramp our bachelor life or however she worded that."

Glancing out of the corner of my eye, I take in my friend. From the outside, he seems to be the same Jeremiah with his clean fade, beaming smile, and dressed to kill. But on the inside, turmoil is raging in JP's mind. "Everything been okay with you?"

"Shit, Riggs, hit me with the Dr. Phil question." He sighs, staring out in front of us .

His eyes reflect a variety of emotions. And just when I think he will ignore me, he lets out a deep sigh.

"Things are rough at home. My mom is trying, but my siblings are getting older, and the expenses are piling up. I can't sit here, with a full ride at my dream school, and not help them chase theirs. Jessa is a junior and was asked to attend a camp this summer. It's expensive as hell, but she has a chance to receive a scholarship to go to Juilliard. The school for performing arts. I can't let her miss out on that opportunity."

He pauses our conversation as people pass by. Claps on our shoulders and congratulatory remarks are made as they walk by.

Hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulders, JP continues. "Then there are the twins. Jalen and Jacoby are in the eighth grade. Their class is going to Washington DC, this spring, so there are extra costs associated with that. My little sister, Juniper, is growing like a weed, and her body style is different from Jessa's, so her hand-me-downs don't fit. It's just a fucking lot. It's hard to be here when they need support in Houston."

"Fuck, man," I sigh. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Hell no. I appreciate it, man, but we aren't a charity case." Anger rolls off his shoulders at the implication that we help him.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Besides, we're a family here, and family has each other's backs. No matter what. Don't carry the world's weight on your shoulders when there are people here who will bend over backward to help you."

With a terse nod, the conversation is dropped. JP flings open the doors to the union as I follow him to the cafeteria.

Voices echo off the walls as we near the cafeteria. Everyone is inside during their lunch breaks. The smell of chili wafts in the air, and a hunger I didn't know I had rumbles in my stomach. The smell of simmering spices invades my senses as I'm transported home. A crockpot full of Mom's home-cooked chili simmers while the flavors mingle together. Fresh cornbread bakes in the oven as we sit on the couch with football playing in the background. Sundays were for chili and football, and we gathered around as a family.

Walking through the crowded cafeteria, I head straight to the soup station and ladle a steaming scoop of chili into a bowl. I chuckle at realizing it's Texas-style chili, which means no beans. In Ohio, our chili is half beans with a mixture of black, kidney, pinto, and ranch-style pinto beans. With a chunk of cornbread, I head to the cashier to check out.

Glancing over my shoulder, I find that JP has found a group of ladies to chat with. Since he's occupied, I enter the seating area and scan the room for someone to sit with. My eyes land on the Campbell siblings, Grant and Bret, who are sitting across from each other in what seems to be a heated discussion. As I reconsider sitting with them, Bret's emerald eyes land on mine. I hold her gaze and read the rescue flag she's waving. The decision is made, and I steel my shoulders to join them.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Yes," Grant grits out while Bret says, "No."

"S'up guys," Cody greets as he slides up behind me.

He and I take the open seats at their table as relief flashes over Bret's face.

The universe is out to punish me today. Not only did I sleep through my alarm, but I managed to shut my finger in the bathroom door, spill my hot coffee all over the kitchen, and barely make it to class in time. Everything about this day has been wrong. And to make matters worse, as I scanned the cafeteria for something greasy to eat—thanks, period—I stumbled into my grump of a brother.

No, I literally stumbled into him. As I was turning around from grabbing a Coke, I ran right into him. His nostrils flared as frustration covered his face.

"Sorry," he grumbles.

"What's got your panties in a knot?" I ask, closing the door to the refrigerator and carrying my tray to the cashier.

Tina, the usual cashier, isn't here today, which is a bummer because I could use one of her famous cookies, which she reserves for her favorites. And since Grant is one of her favorite people, I've become one, too.

"It's been a shit week." The sound of Grant's voice startles me as I walk through the seating area in search of a table. I forgot he was following me.

Dropping my tray on an empty four-seater, I plop in the chair. "It's only Monday."

"Yeah, and I'm over it." He pulls out the chair across from me as I take in his grilled chicken sandwich and a huge salad.

Lifting my burger to my mouth, a small smile touches my lips as Crew pops into my head. The juicy, thick burger loaded with tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, and extra pickles reminds me of our conversation in San Antonio about what it would be like if we could eat one food for the rest of our lives. Chewing a mouthful, I use my napkin to wipe up the dripping ketchup.

"Want to talk about it?" I say around a mouthful.

Grant scoffs. "Oh, now you want to talk? Addy, I've been trying to get you to talk for weeks."

"If you're going to be a dick, there are other tables. "

Setting his sandwich on his plate, he rubs his hands up and down his face. His shoulders sag as he hangs his head forward. There's no denying my brother is a grump. He's always been broody and easily frustrated, but this Grant is entirely different. Deciding to drop the bratty little sister act, I reach out and grab his forearm.

"Grant." His name is a whisper on my lips. "What's going on?"

Eyes that match mine stare back at me. With a long exhale, he purges his frustrations. "Dad has been grooming me all season for a position he will have an opening for on his team next season. The job is mine as long as I want it. And I do, Addy, I want the job, but there's so much pressure. Not to mention senior year classes and other shit I'm dealing with."

"Does the other shit have to deal with a certain brunette with a killer smile?"

His eyes snap to mine as he glares at me. Looks like I hit the nail on the head. "Jesus, please tell me Savannah hasn't been running her mouth at girls' night to my sister."

"No, she hasn't said anything. I was just making an assumption, which you just confirmed."

"Am I that transparent?" I shrug, taking another large bite of my burger as I clutch my stomach.

Cramps knot and twist deep in my lower belly. All I want to do is go home, curl up in a ball with a heating pad, and eat a bag of chips. Most people crave chocolate when they're on their period, but I want all of the chips I can eat. Specifically, salt and vinegar and barbecue chips, mixed in a giant bowl so every bite is a surprise.

Grant skeptically stares at me. "What's your deal?"

"Period." He gags as I roll my eyes. "Anyway, we are discussing your problems today, not mine. "

"Sav and I have been off and on for three years. Neither one of us wants to make things official. She's not here to get her M-R-S degree since she plans to move home to Kentucky, or so she says."

"And what's the position Dad has you training for?"

He uncaps his Coke and takes a long drink. The two of us have an unhealthy obsession with the dark soda. "He wants me to start next year under the wide receiver coach."

My mouth drops open. "Holy shit, that's huge."

"It's the dream, you know. So in all my free time"—he rolls his eyes—"I've been basically doing the role of a quality control assistant without the actual title. It's been Dad's way of testing me. After our games, I have until Tuesday to produce a report with player performance analysis with individual player stats, detailed player evaluations, and game performance analysis where I break down each game-by-game and third down and red zone efficiency."

"That's a lot ," I muse, shoving a fry in my mouth.

"That's not even everything. He wants reports on opponents with a detailed analysis of their defensive backs and defensive schemes. So basically, on top of practices, fighting with Sav, my own reports, and assignments for class, I'm unofficially interning for Dad."

"Sounds like you might have to put this thing with Savannah on the back burner, especially if it's more stress on top of everything."

Grant leans back in his chair as his eyes flit around the room. "It's hard when she's all I can fucking think about."

I understand where you are coming from, Grant, more than you know. The heart wants what the heart wants, no matter how complicated the situation may be. At the end of the day, it's up to the mind to figure out how to make it happen.

Of course, I don't tell him that. That truth would open a whole other line of conversation, and I'm not ready for that can of worms .

"Enough about me and my bullshit. Everything going well with you? I mean, I'd love it if you'd tell me why you're here, but considering you've evaded that conversation, I'm gonna drop it. Just know I'm here if you ever need to talk."

Resting my elbow on the table, I lean forward and stare at my brother. Dark circles live under his eyes, and his hair is messy and mussed as if he's run his hands through it all day. Growing up, Grant has always been my best friend, confidant, and protector, but everything changed last year when I pushed him away when a rage of desperation told me to scream at him to get his own life and stop acting like a helicopter parent.

The look on his face was as if I'd reached inside his chest and ripped out his heart. If I would have slapped him across the face, I think it would have hurt less. Of course, I've apologized, and he's said he forgives me, but we aren't the same. Now, here I am, sitting across from him, lying to his face about my life at Central Texas University.

I'm the worst little sister. And once again, I pray to the heavens that he'll forgive me again when everything comes crashing down around me.

"Thank you for respecting that, and I'm still sorry about everything." Moisture wells in my eyes as I stare up at the ceiling, blinking away the tears.

"Don't, Addy. It's in the past." He grabs my hand and squeezes. A soft but stoic look passes over his face.

Clearing my throat, I offer him a small smile. "Yes, the past is in the past, and I have to say that I love it here. Everything about CTU feels like home. I'm truly happy here."

"You definitely fit in, that's for sure."

Taking a long drink of my Coke, I lean back and scan the room. Standing at the edge of the seating area is a man I'm desperate to run to—a man I want to throw my arms around and claim right here in the dining hall. I want to stand up on my chair and shout that Crew Ryan Riggsby has stolen my heart. A heart I thought was hardened. Dark-chocolate eyes land on mine. I feel my pulse tick as a smile plays on his lips. Briefly, his eyes flash to the back of Grant's head, and I watch Crew steel his shoulders and start making his way toward us.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Yes," Grant grits out while I say, "No."

"S'up guys," Cody greets as he slides up behind Crew. The guys sit at the table and the bubble between Grant and I is broken.

Idle conversation fills the table as the guys talk sports. Something about their fantasy football league and their predictions for who will win the Super Bowl this year. I zone out as I scan the faces in the dining hall. I watch as couples openly hold hands. As groups of guys give each other claps on the back as they greet each other. A table of girls throws their heads back in laughter. I enjoy the chance to observe and people-watch. For once, I did not feel like I needed to scan the room for familiar eyes that made up my nightmare.

Shouts and chairs scraping against the tile interrupt my people-watching. Attention forms around a table a few sections away from us. JP stands chest to chest with a man who is built bigger than him. A sobbing girl stands between them. You can feel the tension radiating from the men as JP tries to convince the guy he didn't know the girl was taken.

Oh, the drama.

In seconds, Grant, Crew, and Cody are on their feet and moving to the commotion. All I can do is stand by and watch as the guys try to sort out the issue before exchanging punches.

As calm as things seem to be for me, it looks like we should focus on our other roommate.