Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

ALEXANDER

T he leeches and toads in the pond didn’t bother me nearly as much as the true leech I had encountered on the street that morning.

I tugged off my boots, tossing them into the pile with my jacket, waistcoat, and cravat. I rolled up my shirtsleeves and dove into the pond on the west lawn of Birch House. The cold water awoke my senses, causing chills to burst over my skin.

I came up for air, stroking my arms through the water as I floated on my back. The sky was gold and orange as the sun slowly disappeared behind the treeline. The cold water soothed the bruise on my cheek, so I dipped my head under again. I broke the surface, shaking the excess water from my hair.

I had spent the afternoon in my room thinking about my conversation with Miles. My anger had been spreading like a fire inside me. He didn’t even have the decency to break his connection with Anne properly. He planned to disappear and leave her waiting as he had already done so many times before. He had no honor, no sense of obligation, and no dignity. He had never been true to his word, and he wouldn’t start now. I couldn’t believe he had written such a straightforward letter to Anne. It made sense why she had been holding out hope for so long. She viewed the letter as a proposal. He viewed it as disposable.

The worst part was that until Anne knew that Miles was back in London, and that he had changed his mind, she would be loyal to him.

My course of action was unclear, and I couldn’t seem to make a decision. Miles had made it obvious to me that he was no longer interested in marrying her. If Anne knew that I had told him about her financial situation, she would be angry with me. If I spoke ill of his character and motives, she would blame me for trying to turn her against him. I wanted to believe that I had gained her trust, but perhaps I hadn’t. Miles was years ahead of me.

I had been avoiding Anne all day because I knew she would ask again about my bruises. I hadn’t yet decided how I would explain what had happened. At dinner, everyone had been curious, but I had managed to deflect their questions. When the ladies withdrew to the drawing room, I had left my port at the table with the other men to come outside alone. With Lady Tottenham ill in her room and unable to dictate my actions, I had escaped the party for the evening. There was nothing on the schedule, so I expected the other guests would dissolve from the drawing room early as well.

It was clear that we were all growing weary of one another’s company.

The only person I cared to see was Anne, but I couldn’t risk her asking too many questions that I didn’t know if I should answer.

I wiped the water off my face, pushing it back into my hairline. Crickets chirped loudly in the tall grass around the pond. Apparently Lady Tottenham’s groundskeeper hadn’t caught them all. The noise only added to my disagreeable mood.

I blinked the droplets from my eyelids, my vision adjusting to the fading light. The warmth and beauty of the sunset stretched out over the entire lawn and all the gardens surrounding it. The other guests were likely still gathered in the drawing room. The men would be lazily reading poetry in an attempt to entertain themselves. Octavia was surely playing her third piece on the pianoforte by now, not giving her sister the opportunity to display her talents. Anne must have been sitting on her usual place on the settee, looking beautiful, observing every conversation, but being too sweet and witty to take part in any of them, though being humble enough not to realize that.

I held my breath and closed my eyes, sinking under the water again. Darkness enveloped me as I swam to the opposite side of the pond. Everyone would think I had gone mad if they saw me out here. I no longer cared. I should have come to this pond weeks ago. It was refreshing and peaceful. Besides the crickets.

“What on earth are you doing?”

I blinked the water from my eyes at the sight of Anne traipsing through the grass in her champagne evening gown. She stopped at the water’s edge. She held her skirts up with delicate fingers, dark brows drawn together.

As shocked as I was to see her, my spirits instantly lifted at her horrified expression. She was far too endearing not to tease.

“Swimming.” I sank down until just my neck and head floated above the water. “Would you like to join me?”

She exhaled with disbelief. “No, thank you.”

I laughed, floating on my back. “Are you certain? The water is quite refreshing.”

“I have never been more certain of anything.”

I glanced up to see her appalled expression. “Well, if you’re simply going to watch me swim, would you do me a service and eat a few of those crickets? They are far too loud.”

A laugh burst out of her. “Alexander. Come out of that water at once. There are toads and fish in there.”

“Are you telling me there aren’t toads in there?” I pointed toward the house.

Her smile broadened, and she turned her face away in an effort to hide it. She shook her head at me. “If you are referring to Mr. Lymington?—”

“You’re the one who pointed out the similarity.”

Her laugh was delightful, and I would have bottled the sound if I could. She leaned forward. “You’re atrocious.”

In the glow of sunset, she looked nothing short of a goddess. I stared up at her, momentarily caught off-guard. My heart was in my throat at the thought of losing her. It was likely in my eyes too, and for a moment I was struck with the fear that she could read my thoughts. I had never known the vulnerability of loving someone who didn’t love me in return. The pain was a thousand times worse when I remembered that it was my brother she loved instead.

“How did you know where to find me?” I asked.

“Mr. Hatcher mentioned that you wanted to take a walk outside.” Her brows drew together again. “A walk sounded much better than sitting in that drawing room all evening.”

“I will tell you what’s even better than a walk.”

She raised her brows. “Hmm…a swim?”

I chuckled. “I know I won’t convince you. You are quite stubborn at times.”

She scoffed. “Refusing to jump into a pond full of toads fully clothed in my evening gown does not make me stubborn. It makes me sensible.”

I stood up in the shallow water, trudging toward her.

A wave of satisfaction passed through me as I watched her gaze lower to my chest and shoulders. My shirt was soaked through, leaving little to the imagination. The first time we had met, she had seen me without a shirt, so she shouldn’t have been as scandalized as she appeared. “Are you calling me insensible?” I asked.

She averted her eyes after several seconds, staring down at the water. She brushed hastily at a curl on her forehead. “Yes, I am.”

My confidence grew as I stepped out of the water, joining her on the grass. “I suppose it would have been more sensible not to wear my clothes.”

The setting sun reflected off her irises, bringing out the dark green hues. “Need I call you atrocious a second time?”

I sensed her nervousness as I took a step closer. “Only if you mean it.”

She smelled of roses. Her skin glowed. “You are wicked for not telling me what happened to you this morning. Why did you return looking like you had lost a fight?” Her eyes flickered to my cheekbone.

“I certainly didn’t lose.”

She frowned, planting her hands on her hips. “So you did fight someone.”

I bent over to pick up my jacket, shaking the loose blades of grass from it. “Would you believe me if I told you it was the rabbit pugilist? He has a powerful lead hook.”

Her frown didn’t falter. “Please be serious for one moment.”

I stood up with a solemn expression.

Anne was shivering. She wrapped her arms around herself. “I have been worried about you. You disappeared all morning and I thought you were never coming back, you refused to tell me why you were injured, and then proceeded to hide away in your room all afternoon. I thought something horrible had happened.” She caught her breath. “All I want to know is who did this to you.”

I draped my jacket around her back and shoulders, holding tight to the lapels on both sides. Her eyes searched my face, taking a stab at my resolve. I couldn’t stop myself from telling her the truth.

“Miles.” I pressed my lips together, my jaw clenching of its own accord. I didn’t want to see her reaction, but I couldn’t look away from her face.

Her eyes widened. “What?”

I gave a grim nod.

“He’s in London already?” Her voice weakened. “When did he arrive?”

“I’m not certain. I happened upon him by chance outside Martin’s bank.”

She scowled in confusion. “Why did he strike you?”

“Because I did it first.”

Her round eyes flooded with apprehension.

“Our conversation resulted in a disagreement. I found it prudent to knock a little sense into him.”

She looked so small, tucked inside my jacket. I held it tight around her. She had stopped shivering, but the disapproval on her face was just as cold. “How could you greet your own brother in that manner after such a long time apart?”

“He deserved it.” I leaned down to look in her eyes, moving my hands to her shoulders. “Anne—he is not coming for you.” I took a deep breath. “He lied. I’m sorry. He told me that he has changed his mind.”

Her eyes flashed with hurt, and she took a step back, shaking her head. “That doesn’t make sense. He wrote me a letter. He left India because of me.”

“Why did he go to India at all?” My words came out harsher than I intended. I tried to steady my frustration with a deep breath. “If I had been in love with you all those years ago, I would have behaved much differently. If I had learned that you were widowed, and that you had any desire to see me again, I would have never run to the first ship that could take me all the way across the world.” I stepped toward her, my heart racing with sudden determination. I cradled her face in my hands. “I would have run to you, and I would have made you my world. I would have married you before I could lose you again.”

She stared up at me in shock, a sheen of tears clouding her eyes.

I traced my thumb over her cheek, grazing the edge of her lower lip. Before I could lose my nerve, I leaned down and kissed her. It might not have been wise, but my wisdom had been evading me all day. I waited for any sign of protest, but she gave none. I thought she would stop me, but she did far more than that. She kissed me back.

She melted forward, taking a handful of my sodden shirt, her lips pressing hard against mine. I took it as encouragement, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her against me. Her hands unfolded against my chest, and I felt the warmth of her palms through my damp shirt. A shiver followed her touch, racing over the length of my spine. My mouth moved against hers with all the passion I had been restraining. I needed to leave her with no question that I adored her. That I loved her.

All at once, her hands pushed against my chest, breaking us apart. My jacket slipped off her shoulders, falling to the ground. Her frantic gaze flickered over my face, her fingers lifting to her lips. Her hand shook.

Regret washed over me. “Anne—” I reached for her arm, but she retreated another step. I couldn’t imagine the conflicting emotions she must have felt. I cursed myself for kissing her in such a vulnerable moment. I hadn’t given her time to process my words about Miles before I essentially confessed my feelings for her. It was clear that I had overwhelmed her.

She turned toward the house, her face in her hands.

I strode forward. “Anne, wait?—”

She walked faster, apparently eager to escape me. I let her go, kicking at a puddle of water in the grass. I rubbed the back of my neck, cursing under my breath. Despite his unworthiness, she needed to grieve Miles if I ever hoped to win her heart.

My impatience might have cost me the opportunity.