Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

ANNE

I gasped, a wave of delight seizing my entire body. The head of the key was shaped like a heart. I slowly picked it up before placing the rabbit back on the floor. I wrapped my fingers around the key, enclosing it tightly in my fist. I was already terrified of losing it.

“I can’t believe I actually found it.” I muttered, throwing Alexander an exhilarated smile.

“You’re clever.” His eyes creased at the corners with a broad smile. “I knew you would.”

I stared at him. My stomach ached from laughing, and my excitement had dulled my senses. The sudden urge to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him senseless struck me as unexpectedly as the flame that had struck that rabbit’s face. A different fire spread quickly through my chest, bringing a wave of heat to my cheeks. What the devil was wrong with me? I tore my gaze away from his. In moments like these, I usually stared at his cravat, but it was gone. He had used it to snuff out the flames. His sharp jawline and bare neck made him look casual—recklessly handsome—like the sort of man who started fires but never put them out.

To distract myself from my wayward thoughts, I opened my palm and looked at the key. I scolded my heart back to a normal rhythm. “Now all that remains is finding Lady Tottenham’s heart and unlocking it.”

“When I first arrived here, I wasn’t certain she had a heart,” Alexander said with a laugh.

I stood up, the backs of my knees aching from crouching for so long. “That’s what I thought when she warned us all that we might be sent away.” My voice lowered to a whisper. “Ever since then I have been overly wary of that possibility.”

Alexander’s dark eyes captured mine as he stood tall beside me. “You have nothing to be concerned about. You keep the rules.”

“Yes, but now we have burned the face of one of her rabbits,” I said with a groan. “That seems like grounds for dismissal.”

“I’ll take the blame if necessary.” He gave me a reassuring smile. “I’ll ensure she sends me away instead.”

“No! I need you.” I clamped my mouth shut. “I mean—I want you…to stay.” My aimless corrections brought a surge of heat to my face. Thankfully the room was dark.

Alexander’s smile softened. “I would never leave you behind. Not to worry.”

I twisted my hands together, nearly forgetting about the key in my palm. His words nestled over my heart like a blanket. I tried to kick it off, but it was tangled. I couldn’t shake the feeling of security that enveloped me. “Good,” I said in a hoarse voice. I cleared my throat, tipping my chin up to look at him. “You have to stay at least long enough to see me win the prize.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” His eyes searched my face, a wry smile twisting his lips. “Do you suppose the prize could be a pet rabbit of your own? Or perhaps, even your choice of one of the animals in that case?”

I put a hand to my forehead. “Don’t say such a thing. I have worked too hard.”

My reaction only seemed to encourage him. “A cricket feast all to yourself, perhaps?” He raised one eyebrow. “Or a private moment alone with Lord Kirkham between the drawing room doors?”

I swatted at his arm. “You’re ridiculous!” My laughter echoed off the six walls, and I had to cover my mouth to quiet it. I glanced at the door. We had to ensure we were back in our rooms by the end of the midnight game. If any guests saw us roaming the corridors together so late, gossip was sure to spread beyond the house party. Lady Tottenham may have allowed certain liberties amongst her guests, but Mrs. Pike would still frown upon suspicious behavior. As a widow, I had played the role of chaperone many times, but I did not require one myself. That was a dangerous position to be in. It had made me too relaxed.

With the key in hand, I walked toward the door. I turned the handle and pulled. It didn’t move. I pulled again and rattled it. My stomach sank. I whirled around just as Alexander approached. “It’s locked.”

“Again?” He tested the handle himself, prying and pushing against the door. “Who would have known we were in here?” He met my gaze over his shoulder.

I shook my head in bewilderment. Did the household staff lock all the doors late at night? Perhaps only the hexagon room, with its valuable collections displayed inside, was deemed necessary to lock when the house was filled with strangers. I paced away from the door, my heart thudding in my chest. “We could be trapped here all night.” The reality settled into my bones. My stomach twisted.

Alexander pried at the lock one more time, but the effort was futile. The bolt was solid. He turned around, raking a hand over his hair with an exhale through his lips. “I think we are.”

“Do you think it was intentional? Could Lady Tottenham have heard us?”

“She would be two floors below in the parlor at this hour.” He shook his head. “It must have been a servant who thought the room was empty. The doors are thick. They may not have heard us.”

“It also could have been a servant who Lady Tottenham sent to do her bidding.” My prevailing suspect was still our hostess. She thrived on impropriety. She was losing her mind, I was certain of it. Not only was she turning a blind eye to improper situations, but she was orchestrating them. She had been doing so the entire house party. Why should locking Alexander and me in a room together a second time be any more scandalous than the first? There were no boundaries Lady Tottenham wouldn’t cross.

“I suppose that could be the case,” Alexander said. “She has been known to do such a thing before.”

I gave a grim nod. He remained by the door as I walked toward one of the brown velvet chairs. I sat down in one swift motion, crossing my arms over my chest. The silence in the room was deafening. My heart pounded. I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream in frustration. I could bear spending an entire night in the company of all those horrifying stuffed creatures in the glass case. I could endure every single pair of glass eyes watching me fall asleep.

But Alexander?

He frightened me the most.

“I wonder if our kiss encouraged her,” he said as he started in my direction. My spine stiffened. I had hoped the subject of our forfeit —which was the only safe word to use in reference to that event in my mind—would not come up. If we discussed what had happened, that made it far too real.

“It was part of a game.” My words spilled out fast. “It shouldn’t have encouraged anyone.” I swallowed, keeping my arms folded tight. After reading my letter from Miles again that evening, I had been reminded of my place. Alexander needed to be reminded of his. There was an understanding between Miles and me, and it would hurt him if he knew that I had become so close to his brother. Creating some sort of distance was necessary.

The locked door, however, had other ideas.

Alexander set the candle on the mantel before sitting in the chair beside me. My eyes had adjusted to the moonlight that came through the window, making the details of the room much clearer than they had been before. His eyes connected with mine. “Lady Tottenham has been invested in our fake courtship since the beginning. Of course it encouraged her.”

Hearing him refer to the courtship as fake sent a wave of relief over my shoulders, even if we were still discussing the forfeit. “That is true. We did play our roles well this evening. I suspect it was Lady Tottenham’s favorite moment of the entire house party.”

“And mine.”

My stomach dropped. I shot him a look of dismay, even as my heart raced in my chest. I searched for the teasing look I expected to find on his face, but it was absent. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. How did he expect me to respond?

He smiled, looking down at the floor. “Forgive me. I’ve broken one of your rules again.” His eyes lifted to my face. His smile still remained, but it was weaker than usual—more uncertain.

I took a deep breath. “The rules are vital, especially if we are going to be trapped here all night.”

Alexander stretched his legs out in front of him, propping one hand behind his head. “I think we ought to be less concerned about your rules and more concerned about the rabbit pugilist that undoubtedly wants revenge.” He nodded toward the glass case, one eyebrow raised.

I almost slapped him. “Don’t say that! He might hear you.”

His broad smile released the tension in my shoulders instantly, though I was still recovering from what he had said about the kiss. I banished the thought from my mind.

“His ears are quite large,” Alexander said with a teasing gleam in his eye. “I suspect he hears everything.”

I laughed, grateful that the awkwardness had been dispelled. I lifted my chin. “You may try to frighten me all you like. I am not afraid of a stuffed rabbit.”

“What are you afraid of?”

The question caught me by surprise. Alexander turned his head to look at me, his dark hair falling over his brow. He looked so comfortable leaning back in his chair. I sat up straight, hands folded in my lap.

“Lady Tottenham,” I said with a half-smile.

He chuckled, but didn’t relent. “What else? A serious answer. What are you most afraid of?”

I had always tried to present myself in a way that was perceived as confident, strong, and unbreakable. I had spent years trying to convince myself that I was all of those things. But it was a facade—a charade—one just as ridiculous as my courtship with Alexander. In many ways, I was weak. I was tired. I was terrified of more things than I cared to admit. I leaned back, no longer caring about propriety. I rested the back of my neck against the top of my chair, turning my gaze upward.

“I’m afraid of everything I can’t control.” I laughed, because it was so ridiculous, but the truth of that statement settled in my bones. I stared up at the dark hexagonal ceiling and the window at the center. The cloudless night sky left the stars bare. I counted them as I listed all the things that frustrated me. “The financial state of my late husband can’t be changed. I can’t earn money on my own. I can’t leave Birch House. I can’t choose to marry Miles unless he chooses me first. I can’t make him love me. I can’t plan to marry him. I can only hope for it. Of late, I have felt particularly helpless. My fate feels out of my hands, and it terrifies me.”

Each thing I had just listed was just as out of reach as those stars above me. I turned to look at Alexander. “I would eat a thousand crickets for breakfast every morning if it meant I could feel some sense of security.” My laughter hurt, aching deep in my chest. “To have a home that feels safe and permanent.” My throat tightened. “To have a family. To belong somewhere, with someone. I’m afraid I might never have those things. I cannot simply go find that future. I can’t control when or how it comes, and no amount of determination can change that. I’ve been waiting and waiting, yet that still might not be enough.” I held my breath. I needed to stop spilling out the contents of my heart to Alexander. My fears and worries about Miles had been festering. It was a relief to speak them aloud, even if it was a mistake. What if he hadn’t meant the words in his letter? I hated to face the truth, but he had led me astray before.

Alexander’s gaze traced over my face. I felt suddenly ashamed for revealing so much. My cheeks grew hot, my eyes stinging. I looked at the sky again.

“I won’t pretend to be wise,” he said in a quiet voice. “But I believe the future that is meant for you will find you. There is no need to exhaust yourself in the pursuit of something that is so uncertain. There is peace that comes from letting go of the reins. Think about how much happier you could be if you weren’t always focused on steering a wild horse.” His mouth spread into a smile. “Let it run. You never know where it will lead you.”

“Straight into a tree,” I said with one raised eyebrow.

He shrugged. “Perhaps that tree is the best thing you’ve ever had.”

I tipped my head back with a laugh. “I never knew you could be so metaphorical.”

He gave a pompous smile. “I’m a poet.”

“I would sooner believe you were a vicar.”

He laughed softly, crossing his arms over his chest. “That was what I always wanted to be. It was my original plan to make a career in the church.”

I studied the side of his face. “What happened?”

His throat shifted with a swallow, his forehead creasing. “It didn’t go according to plan.”

I wanted to ask another question, but he turned to look at me. “I was not accepted in the parish, and had to make other arrangements. Fate sent me on another course, and I am grateful to be a barrister now.”

“At least you could make other plans. The only choice I have is to marry.”

Alexander regarded me seriously. “What will you do if Miles doesn’t propose?”

A wave of fear washed over my skin, but when I found his eyes in the dark, it subsided. He looked genuinely curious. “I cannot think of that possibility yet. He has given me reason to believe he will. He wrote me a letter before I came here.” I took a deep breath. I hadn’t mentioned it to Alexander yet. “It was essentially a proposal.”

His brows lowered. “What did it say?”

“He said his travels to India gave him time to reflect…and he declared his intentions of spending his future with me.”

Alexander’s jaw tightened as he turned his attention to the stars. He said nothing for several seconds. My heart hammered in my chest. Was he…disappointed? I couldn’t see him clearly enough in the dimness. He sat up slowly, stretching his arms out in front of him. “Well.” He took a deep breath. “I hope he is true to his word.” His voice was stiff, lacking the playfulness I had grown accustomed to.

I watched him as he stood from his chair, casting his gaze around the room. “The first order of business is to find you a comfortable place to sleep.” He extended his hand to me. I took it, and he tugged me to my feet. He didn’t release my fingers, guiding me by the hand toward the one sofa that rested beneath the rifle on the wall.

“But where will you sleep?”

“Don’t fret over me.” He held tight to my hand. “Go on.” He nodded toward the sofa.

“Alexander—” I planted my feet where I stood. “I don’t think I’m capable of sleeping. I’m too nervous that the door will open at any moment. You should try to sleep on the sofa, and I will stay in a chair near the door.”

He laughed under his breath. “That is not an option. I would never be able to sleep knowing you weren’t comfortable.”

“I’m not tired.”

He gave my fingers a squeeze, a slow smile curving his lips. “Don’t lie to me, Anne. Your eyes are practically falling closed.”

“They are not.” I suppressed a yawn in my throat.

“You’ve had an eventful evening. You solved the riddle, you found the key, you kissed me in front of all the guests at Birch house…” his smile took on a teasing edge, “that is enough to exhaust a person.”

His references to the kiss were enough to make sleep far more appealing. It meant I could ignore him. I dropped down onto the cushions, tugging my hand from his grasp. He chuckled as I lay down and nestled my head onto the arm of the sofa. There were no blankets or pillows to be found throughout the room.

I watched Alexander with concern as he lay down on the rug beside the sofa. He tucked one arm under his head, sprawling out with his chest against the floor. His eyes closed, his dark lashes creating two crescents on his cheeks. A smile tugged on my lips. He looked so endearing. He shifted as he tried to find a comfortable position, and I found myself staring at him for far too long. With his eyes closed, I took the opportunity to slip the heart-shaped key inside the bodice of my dress, keeping it close to my own heart.

I shifted toward the edge, one of my arms hanging off the sofa. “You look terribly uncomfortable,” I said.

He opened his eyes, his mouth spreading in a smile. It was strange to be laying beside Alexander, even if I was elevated on the sofa. He patted the floor. “No, I assure you, I am quite comfortable.”

“You’re lying to me now.”

His smile was contagious.

“Is there nothing you can use as a pillow?” I cast my gaze around the room.

He shook his head. “My arm is sufficient.”

I sighed.

“Sleep well,” he said.

“Wait—what are we to do in the morning?” I asked in a hushed voice. “We must leave the moment the servants unlock the doors.”

“We will.” His eyes settled on my face. “But Lady Tottenham will be disappointed that her trap didn’t result in an engagement.”

I laughed, my weariness contributing to my delirium. “How could she think that forcing us to be locked in this room for the night would make you propose to me?”

He propped his head up on one elbow. “Had I thought the answer would be favorable, perhaps it would have worked.” Before I could process his words, he reached for the hand that I had left hanging off the sofa. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of my fingers before rolling over, hiding his face from view. “Goodnight, Anne.”

My head was light for a moment, my stomach twisting. I rolled over until I faced the inside of the sofa. My pulse raced past my ears. I almost forgot to respond.

“Goodnight,” I squeaked. I scowled at the dark fabric in front of me, tucking my hands close to my chest. My thoughts spun. I squeezed my eyes shut in an effort to banish the warm sensation that tingled throughout my every limb. Had Alexander just declared his feelings for me? His words hadn’t been straightforward, but that didn’t matter.

I had been practicing riddles, and that was an easy one.

I lay in silence for several minutes. I could hear Alexander’s light breathing. He wasn’t asleep either. I held perfectly still until the weight of my body made my hands and wrists numb. As restless as I was, I didn’t dare move. There was a taut rope connecting me to Alexander, and if I shifted, even the slightest bit, I feared he would somehow feel it. I wanted to break the tension, but I didn’t know how. The only thing that could break it was dawn, but it was still hours away.

Alexander shifted on the floor. “On second thought,” he whispered, “the pugilist might make a more comfortable pillow.”

I could name many occasions in my life when I had hidden away in the privacy of my bedchamber, burrowed under my blankets, and cried until I fell asleep. I had never fallen asleep laughing before, but that was the last thing I remembered before my consciousness finally drifted away.

I rubbed my eyes before opening them. I blinked fast, taking in my surroundings. The hexagon room was bright, the rooftop window letting in enough light to blind me. I covered my face with both hands before sitting up. The events of the night before came crashing back into my mind. I checked the floor beside the sofa.

Alexander was gone.

I smoothed my hands over my sleep-tousled hair as I scrutinized the rest of the room. The three rabbits in the case, one with charred fur on its face, reminded me of the reason I had been there at all. My hand flew to my chest, and I withdrew the tiny key from my bodice. So it hadn’t been a dream. I had found the key, and Alexander had been trapped in the room with me overnight. But where was he now? How late was it?

I pinched my cheeks to give them a little color before testing the doorknob. It was unlocked. Why hadn’t Alexander awoken me?

I slipped into the corridor, making my way down to my bedchamber. I would need Jane to help make me presentable. Just as I approached the door, Victoria and Octavia rounded the corner.

“Ah, Lady Daventry! Are you on your way to breakfast?” Victoria’s wide eyes flitted over me from head to toe. A crease formed in her brow.

“Is it breakfast already?” I brushed a limp curl from my forehead. I could only imagine how ragged I must have looked. How had I slept so long on that stiff sofa?

“Yes.” Victoria exchanged a look with her sister, who observed me with a smug smile.

“Were you up late, my lady?” Octavia narrowed her eyes at me. “What were you doing?”

I immediately understood the nature of their suspicions, so I decided the truth would be best. “I was searching for clues that might lead me to Lady Tottenham’s prize.”

Octavia’s nostrils flared. “I doubt that prize even exists.”

“Did you find clues?” Victoria asked.

I swallowed, closing my fist tighter around the key in my palm. “Oh, only something small.”

“What did you find?” Octavia stepped closer to me with an eager look.

“It would not be a competition if I told you.” I shrugged, taking hold the doorknob.

“You wore that gown yesterday, did you not?” Victoria’s searching gaze made me shift on my feet.

“Yes. I fell asleep in the study.” I flashed a quick smile. “I lost track of time.” I didn’t want to lead them to the hexagon room. Even though I did have the key, the final pieces of the clue could have still been in that room. “I will see you at breakfast.”

Before they could question me further, I hurried into my bedchamber and closed the door. I called Jane to help me change into a pale yellow morning dress and arrange my hair as quickly as possible, then rushed down to the breakfast room. I wiped the perspiration from my hairline as I made my way to the sideboard. I glanced over my shoulder, expecting to find Alexander at one of the tables.

The crowd was sparse, and he wasn’t among them. Mrs. Pike’s voice snapped my attention away from the other guests.

“Good morning, Lady Daventry.” Her voice was raspy before she cleared her throat. She cast a nervous glance at the door.

“Good morning.” I put a smile on my face, though my insides wriggled with nervousness. Her stare was relentless. “Where is Lady Tottenham?”

“She wasn’t feeling well this morning.” She paused. “But she isn’t the only one who won’t be joining us for breakfast.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

Octavia took a sip from her cup. “You have missed the news.”

“News?”

Mrs. Pike exchanged a look with Victoria. “Unfortunately, our party has decreased in numbers again.”

My heart plummeted.

“You may have noticed a few people are, well…absent this morning. The housekeeper informed us that Lady Tottenham sent several of the guests away. After the events of yesterday evening, they will no longer be welcome at Birch House.”