Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Two

A week later, Drey plonked my heavy shopping bags in my trunk with a grunt. “What have you got in those? Bricks?”

Feeling my lips wing up, I shrugged. “Christmas gifts, mostly.” I’d had more to buy this year, since my family had expanded on my marrying Dax. Which wasn’t at all a complaint. I loved shopping for gifts, especially during the holidays.

The creases on Drey’s forehead smoothed out as his mouth tipped up. “Did you get anything for me?”

“Of course.” I poked his arm playfully. “As if I’d leave out my favorite brother-in-law. What do you take me for?”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Favorite. Sure.”

I’d unexpectedly come across him, Jag, and Jag’s girlfriend Leonie a few minutes ago as I was leaving the mall. All three were on their way to the nearby bowling alley, where they would be meeting up with a few other friends. Drey had insisted on carrying all my bags to the parking lot for me first, the gent. And since he was a mountain of pure male strength—seriously, his muscles had muscles—I hadn’t objected. My damn palms stung from where the bag handles had been digging into my skin.

Using my key fob to close the trunk, I swept my gaze over the trio as I asked, “Have you guys done all your Christmas shopping yet?”

“Almost,” said Drey. “I do mine online.”

Jag grunted. “Same.”

“Yeah,” began Leonie with a curl of her upper lip, “who wants to walk around a mall?”

I gave her a bright smile. “Me.”

She let out a snooty scoff. “I guess shopping sprees are nothing new for you. Must be nice to have been loaded all your life.”

Eye roll. It was safe to say that Leonie hadn’t warmed to me. She still felt it necessary to hold my trust fund and financial security against me … as if I didn’t know what it meant to “struggle” or fight for what I wanted and needed in life and so wasn’t worthy of her respect.

I’d met people before who held such a viewpoint. I’d probably meet more in the future as well. And while I understood where they were coming from, I felt that they often failed to consider that everyone experienced struggles of some kind. Financial security didn’t provide a buffer from pain, problems, or loss. In fact, having money often came with its own set of issues.

But I had no intention of discussing it with her—I was too damn old to care what perfect strangers thought of me. So, ignoring the bitchy portion of her comment, I instead said, “Well, malls sure aren’t for everyone. In fact, they—Drey, no peeking in my bags!”

My brother-in-law straightened. “I was only looking at the wrapping paper. Do you really need that much of it?”

I smiled at the memory of one roll almost giving him a hellacious bitch slap when he earlier lifted my bags to stick them in the trunk. “Yes, because I have other gifts to wrap as well. Most of it is stuff I ordered online. I’m planning to do all my wrapping this weekend so I can stick the presents under the tree.”

“I still can’t believe you got Dax to help you put up a Christmas tree,” said Drey, blowing out an astonished breath.

“I still can’t believe he’s good with having a tree,” remarked Jag. “How did you get him to agree?”

As I wasn’t inclined to share the very sweet and private things Dax had said to me on this matter, I simply shrugged one shoulder and flashed Jag a mysterious smile. “I have my ways.” I then refocused on Drey. “I heard from Harri that Sabre’s doing better.”

“Your sister performed some kind of black magic on my dog—she denies it, but nothing else makes sense,” insisted Drey. “He’s still not quite right upstairs, and I doubt anything will change that. But he’s more chilled. Especially around Harri. He fairly trips all over himself to please her, tongue lolling, tail wagging. He absolutely adores her.”

“Harri’s easy to adore.”

The curve of his mouth said he agreed … but not as a guy potentially interested in a girl. No, more as a guy who thought he had a super cool friend.

Ugh, these two were gonna drive me bonkers. Because honestly, I thought they’d make a good couple if they’d only consider crossing the “friend” line. “It would seem that Jameson certainly thinks so—he wants to take her out for lunch.” Harri had mentioned it yesterday via text.

A faint line dented Drey’s brow, making him look somewhat put-out. Huh. How very interesting.

“Isn’t he a little old for her?” asked Drey, his voice sort of gruff.

I snickered. “You sound like Alicia.” I didn’t miss that Jag’s shoulders slightly tensed on hearing her name. “But then, she thinks everyone’s too old for Harri.”

Drey scratched his jaw. “I saw Alicia from afar a few days ago. She was scowling at her phone like its very existence offended her.”

She had probably received yet another message from Dario. The asshole wasn’t giving up. I wouldn’t explain the situation to these people here, though. I liked Drey and Jag a lot, but Alicia’s business was her business. And I wouldn’t reveal any of it in front of Leonie anyway.

As such, I gave an aloof shrug and said, “Maybe she lost at a game of Solitaire or something. Right, I’ve got to dash. Thank you for the assist, it was good to see you all.” Or it was good to see the guys, anyway.

We exchanged goodbyes, though all I received from Leonie was a halfhearted wave that was no more than a flick of her hand. Oh, how heartbroken I was.

I made my way to the driver’s door and pulled it open. I was about to slide into the vehicle when I noticed two people standing near a parked car several feet away in the lot.

Felicity and Blaise.

Wonderful. Positively wonderful.

I straightened my shoulders, bracing myself for trouble. But … I didn’t receive my usual snarl from Blaise. He avoided meeting my eyes like they had the ability to hypnotize.

Felicity didn’t sneer at me either. In fact, she weirdly flashed me a smirk. A mean-ass, superior, “I almost pity you”smirk.

I tensed. In what world would she ever pity me? Ever?

In a world where she knew about the pact.

That seemed the likeliest explanation. She could have learned of it from Grayden. Having such knowledge would definitely result in Felicity finding me nothing but a mere joke—that was how she’d view the situation.

Maybe I should have expected Grayden to tell her. He wasn’t exactly a fan of either Dax or me at the moment. I’d seen him from a distance a few times while out and about. He spotted me on each occasion but made a point of looking the other way in a dismissive gesture.

“Well, hello, Addison,” Felicity all but sang. “Hope you and Dax are doing well.”

A nervous-looking Blaise whispered something into her ear and pulled at her arm, trying to lead her away. A smart decision on his part—and a sign that he’d hopefully turn his behavior around. She didn’t fight him, shooting me a glance that said I wasn’t worth her time.

Well, at least I wouldn’t have to deal with any confrontations.

Personally, though, I doubted she’d walked away merely due to finding it darkly amusing that my marriage was a business arrangement. It was more probable that she’d kept her silence because she feared Dax’s reaction. That fear had likely been what had stopped her from bitchily spreading news of the pact around Redwater.

Letting out a long breath, I hopped into my car, buckled in, and switched on the engine. The drive home was relatively short, so I was soon parking in my driveaway. There, I hefted my loaded bags out of the trunk with an oof and then closed it. Once I’d locked my car, I headed inside.

Dax was just coming down the hallway, a steaming mug in hand, when I entered the villa.

Closing the door behind me, I offered him a smile. “Hey, there.”

His brow furrowed. “You went shopping?”

“What gave it away?” I asked, deadpan.

He tossed me an impatient look. “I’m simply surprised because you said you were running errands.”

“I did. They included buying Christmas presents.” I paused. “I just bumped into your brother.”

“Which brother?”

“My favorite one.”

Dax let out a long-suffering sigh. “Right.”

I felt the corner of my lips inch up. “I was talking about Drey, as it happens—he’s hitting the bowling alley with Jag and my bestie.”

“Your bestie?”

“Leonie, of course. I also saw Felicity and Blaise.” I lifted a reassuring hand. “Don’t worry, they didn’t spout any crap. Felicity said hello, said she hopes you and I are well, and then kept on walking. Blaise said not one word to me.”

Dax grunted. “They’re learning.”

“I have the feeling that Felicity knows about our pact. It was just something about the way she looked at me, all smug and superior. My guess is that Grayden blabbed.”

“Vented, more like,” Dax hedged before taking a sip of his coffee. “He wasn’t happy when he left my office after Mimi sent him. It wouldn’t surprise me if he went home and ranted to Felicity about the heated conversation that took place.”

“Yeah, that would make sense. Either way, I’m pretty sure she knows. As yet, she hasn’t done anything with the information, which just goes to show how much she’s reluctant to cross you again—the woman’s a terrible gossip.” I tilted my head. “Anyway, moving right along … how was golfing?”

“Titillating.”

I snickered at his dry response. “I think you like it more than you let on.”

“I like golfing just fine. I simply don’t like spending the entire game with someone who wants to dance around the terms of a business agreement.”

“Understandable.” I frowned when he tried peering into my bags. “No, you’re not allowed to look.”

“Why not?”

“Your Christmas gifts are in there; I want them to be a surprise. Though I should warn you not to expect anything exciting,” I hastened to add. It seemed better to warn him in advance. “It’s difficult to buy for a guy who has everything.”

He gave a small shrug. “I’m sure I’ll like whatever you give me.”

“Don’t. Don’t be sure.”

He snorted.

“Have you bought me something, or do I need to buy presents for you to give me?”

His brow pinched. “You’d buy your own gifts from me?”

“Sure. I don’t mind. I’ll even wrap them for you. All you’d have to do is refund me the money … otherwise all I’ve really done is buy stuff to give to myself gift-wrapped. That would just be weird.”

His frown deepened. “They wouldn’t truly be presents from me if you picked them, would they?”

“Yes. If, as I just covered, you refunded me. It’s no different from me telling you what I might like and you then go ordering it online or whatever. I’d—”

Knuckles wrapped on the front door.

With a surprised blink, I asked, “Are you expecting anyone?”

Pursing his lips, he shook his head.

Huh. I turned and opened the door. My jaw dropped as I found Brooks standing on the other side of it. Feeling my face split into a gigantic smile, I threw my arm around him. “Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Laughing, he hugged me tight. “I wanted to surprise you.”

Well, he’d succeeded. I pulled back, gripped his arm, and then all but dragged him inside. “It’s so great to see you! Wait, how did you even know where Dax and I live?”

“A lot of people do, Addie. It wasn’t hard to find out.” He turned to Dax and held out his hand. “How you doing?”

His mouth curling, Dax shook his hand. “Aside from being annoyed by you having your hands all over my wife, fine,” he playfully replied, wrenching another laugh out of Brooks.

“You came here alone, then?” I asked as he closed the door.

“Yeah, Brittany and Manti couldn’t make it,” he said with a wrinkle of his nose, referring to his partners. “Her family showed up at our home in Africa, so she couldn’t just leave. We decided that Manti would stay with her. I’ll only be in Redwater for a few days, but I had to come see you guys.”

“I’m so psyched you did.” He’d been a friend of mine for over a decade, and I’d missed him something fierce. “Let me go stash these bags and then we’ll order food.”

The next few hours were spent laughing, eating, ribbing, drinking, and catching up as we sat together on the patio area. Though Dax wasn’t quite as open and relaxed with Brooks as he was with his closest friends, the two had a good dynamic. And it was clear to see that he held Brooks in high regard.

At one point, Dax’s phone rang. Grumbling that he needed to take the call, he retreated inside. I stayed outside with Brooks.

Watching me from the seat directly opposite mine, he grinned. “You look happy.”

I felt my mouth curl. “I am.”

“No, I mean you look happy,happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this chilled and content.” Brooks cast a brief look at the patio door. “If you don’t love him yet,” he added, lowering his voice, “you’re well on your way to it.”

Going very still, I automatically opened my mouth to object, uncomfortable admitting he was right.

Brooks granted me a firm look. “Don’t go denying it, Addie, you’d be wasting your time. I know you too well for you to fool me about something like this.”

Ugh, he so did. Feeling my shoulders sag in defeat, I exhaled heavily. “It turns out that Dax is easy to care for,” I said, keeping my own voice equally as low. “You could have warned me of that before I married him. I’d have jotted it down on my cons column.”

His lips quirked. “Then I’m glad I didn’t, because you otherwise might not have walked down the aisle with him.”

Honestly, just the thought that I could have made a different decision—that I wouldn’t be where I was now, wouldn’t feel as I did now, wouldn’t have Dax in any way, shape, or form—took my breath away.

Brooks’ expression sobered. “He cares for you, too, you know. I can’t say how much—Dax’s emotions are never easy to sense. But it’s obvious by the way he treats you that you matter to him.”

I gave a slow nod. “Yeah, he openly said something to that effect to Grayden.” The memory warmed my blood and made it easy for me to breathe again.

Brooks frowned. “Grayden?”

“He acted like a bit of an ass.” I relayed what went down in Dax’s office, though I omitted the part where Mimi had a thing for him and simply said she didn’t like that he’d moved on. “It was quite intense.”

“Grayden must have been pissed,” said Brooks with an amused snicker. “Dax sure didn’t make any attempt to hide how possessive he feels, did he? I like that. And I like that he openly admitted it isn’t the only thing he feels for you. I’m glad honoring the pact worked out for you both.” He raked his teeth over his lower lip. “I was worried about you. Worried you’d both regret your decision but stay together anyway because neither of you like to give up on things.”

“I feel no regrets. There was never a moment where I did.”

Brooks cocked his head. “And will you still have zero regrets if you do grow to love him but it transpires that he’ll never love you back? I’m not saying that’ll come to pass, by the way. In fact, I’m hopeful that it won’t. I’m just playing Devil’s Advocate.”

“Of course you are. It’s your thing.” I heaved out a long breath. “If I end up in the love pit but he doesn’t join me there, well, it’ll be hard. But I don’t foresee myself experiencing any regrets. I mean, I walked into this marriage knowing that he didn’t envision himself ever caring for me that way—he wouldn’t have otherwise put a ring on my finger. So I’m prepared for that future.”

“Personally? I think you’ll both be ten inches deep in that love pit you mentioned.” He paused, watching me closely. “I’m going to say something that you might not like hearing.”

I frowned. “Okay.” The word came out edged in wariness.

He leaned forward, resting his lower arms on the table. “I was around when you were with Lake. I saw you two together. Heard the way you talked about and to him. You loved him, I know. But … I never felt like he was the great love of your life, Addie. I never had a moment where I thought you’d found the person you’d spend the rest of your days with.”

I tensed, my gut clenching. “Brooks—”

“Let me finish,” he pled, his voice soft. “When someone dies, we often toot their horn in a major way. We talk of them in glowing terms, remember all their best attributes, and forget about their faults. Right?”

I sighed and reluctantly admitted, “Sometimes, that can happen, yes.”

“And if they suffered before or when they died, it makes us even more likely to put them on a pedestal—I know that from personal experience. I did the same when my dad passed. Truth be told? He was a dick most of the time. But I felt guilty admitting that to myself, so I shoved it aside and clung to the good memories.”

“Lake wasn’t a dick.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Brooks immediately agreed. “But maybe you see the good memories you have of him through a magnified, rose-tinted lens. Maybe you’ve forgotten the other things. Like how he sometimes put you down. Like how he could get ugly when jealous. Like how he prioritized his friends over you right up until he learned about the tumor.”

I bit into the inside of my cheek. Shit, I really didn’t want to reflect on all this. Because I couldn’t actually claim that Brooks was wrong … and that made me feel like crap. “Okay, maybe I have clung tight to the good memories. But there are more good than bad.”

“I’m not saying there aren’t,” he said, lifting a placating hand. He then pointed at the table with one finger as he added, “But ask yourself this: Did you think Lake was your one great true love before he died?”

I went to say, yes, of course I did. But, honestly … “I don’t remember.” Facing that, fuck, it was like I’d had the breath knocked out of me. I sat up straighter and put a hand to my twisting stomach.

Brooks gave me a bland smile. “I could sit here and have a similar conversation with Dax about Gracie, only there’s no point because he’d stare at me blankly and not say a word.”

I felt my brows pull together. “What do you mean you could have a similar conversation with him?”

Brooks scratched at his nape. “Look, people talk of how tight he and Gracie were. They loved each other for sure, but they weren’t tight, Addie.” He shook his head. “Their relationship wasn’t solid. How could it have been? He didn’t fully trust her. She knew it, and it ate at her. She made him pay for it in small, passive-aggressive ways.”

I blinked. “I never heard about the last part. Though … Mimi likes to say that her sister wasn’t ‘so perfect.’”

“Nobody is, are they? But the fact is that people speak of Gracie like she was a freaking saint. She had a sweet disposition for certain. But she also had her faults, just like everyone else. She and Dax had their problems, just like every other couple. And, genuinely, I don’t think she was the great love of his life any more than I think Lake was yours.”

Feeling a weight settle on my chest, I licked my lips. “Why do you say that?”

“Because I sensed something tonight. Something I hadn’t expected.” Brooks propped his elbows on the table. “Dax trusts you—it’s right there in the way he talks about and to you; in how close he sits to you; in how relaxed his body is while near you. The man is not one bit on his guard around you. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal that is.”

“I do realize,” I said, absently rubbing my thigh. “I’ve seen for myself how deep his trust issues run. There were so many occasions where he seemed taken aback that I’d defended him or stood by him or backed him or whatever. He’d often look wary and suspicious at times, like he couldn’t bring himself to believe I was someone he could count on. I thought maybe we’d never get to the point we’re at now, but we have.”

“And that’s huge, Addie. There are people who’ve been in his life for decades—including me—who don’t have his trust. It’s not often that he lets people close enough to earn it. With you, he did. You have something from him that Gracie never did, so don’t go letting people convince you that you’ll always play second fiddle to her.”

“I’m not convinced of it, I’m just not going to hope for too much.”

“I get that. And maybe you’re right to be leery. Maybe I’m wrong to think you’ll both declare your love for each other at some point. But, Addie, if you do find yourself in a situation where you feel more for him than he does for you, don’t let it eat at you. Remember what you do have; remember that you’ve won something he gives rarely. Remember that—” Brooks stopped speaking at the sound of footfalls.

Moments later, Dax slowly ambled outside. His eyes narrowed as he took in my too-bright smile and how Brooks was now looking all overly casual. “Something wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nope.” My response was just a little too cheery.

“Not at all,” Brooks assured him. “I was just trying to convince her to run away with me. I know it makes me greedy, since I already have two partners, but you know what they say about three being a crowd.”

Dax stared at him, making it clear with his doubtful expression that he wasn’t buying Brooks’ bullshit reply. “It’s a good thing Brittany wasn’t here to hear that—she’d have your balls for even joking about it.”

Brooks gave a dramatic wince. “Probably. She’s a vicious little thing. But who says I’m joking?”

“I am.” Dax sank onto the sofa, retaking his previous spot right beside me, and draping his arm over the back of it. “And if you weren’t, you’d be wasting your breath. Addison wouldn’t leave me.” He said it with such conviction it made me smile.

Brooks hitched up a brow at him. “How can you be sure?”

“Because I wouldn’t let her.”

My smile fell away. The whole “let” part never failed to be annoying. “If I wanted to leave—”

“We’d talk about it,” Dax finished. “And talk and talk and talk until you changed your mind. Which you would.”

Considering he was very much the master of persuasion, I couldn’t with all honesty argue that he wouldn’t succeed in talking me round. “Whatever. In any case, I’m not considering leaving with Brooks.”

“Good. It means I don’t have to kill him.”

Brooks grinned. “And aren’t we all glad about that?”