6. Sven

six

Istare down at the letter in my hands with something akin to panic beating hard in my chest. In the three weeks since the omega has appeared, I"ve been trying to put my world back to how it was, but I can't make it fit right anymore.

Now this.

"What's the letter?" Kandi asks. She's casually filling up a glass of water. We've been distant, neither of us ready for the confrontation that's coming.

"Addy is leaving Silver Falls. He's moving across the country." My voice is barely a whisper.

Kandi stills, her hand freezing mid-air before she abruptly sets the jug down. "Sven, you can't keep ignoring this."

I shake my head and force a smile. "He'll do well wherever he goes."

Kandi shakes her head. "I"m calling bullshit, Sven."

I refold the letter and shove it in my desk drawer. So that's why he's been trying to see me. I've been successfully avoiding him for two weeks now. This is…devastating.

I'd thought when I'd been told he was selling that he was just moving. Somewhere close. I never dreamed he was actually leaving me.

Kandi moves closer to me, and I force everything away and reach for her hand. I bring her knuckles to my lips, and then rub my cheek against them. She sits on the arm of my chair and runs her fingers over my scalp.

Lying to her is going to kill me.

"So, you're okay with Adrian leaving?" She prods.

"Of course, it's his life. Why would I have an issue with it?"

Kandi sighs and tilts my chin up so she can look at me. "I love you, Sven, but sometimes, you're as much a mystery to me as the day we met."

I watch her leave, and when I"m sure she's gone; I get up and lock my door. With an inhale to brace myself, I pick up my phone. I tilt my head back on the chair and stare at the ceiling. The phone rings, and I wait.

"Meet me," I say into the phone when it picks. There's silence. "I"ll be at your house in twenty minutes."

Adrian doesn't say a word, he just hangs up, but I know he'll be there. I take my time getting my keys and closing the office, then I leave.

"Back in two hours," I say out loud.

Darion looks up at me and nods. That's it. My boss trusts me, it's been hard earned and fought for, but he takes me at my word.

Kandi watches me from the other side of the office, but she doesn't move to follow me. Guilt is a hungry beast always feeding on something and growing inside me. But if he's leaving, I need to see him. I'm just sorry I'm hurting her.

In the carpark, I pause, struck by the strange sight of a man, one I've never seen before staring at me. His eyes are wide, and he looks visibly shocked. For a moment, I get this incredible sense of déjà vu. A rush of anger and grief washes over me.

The man cocks his head to the side, watching me in a way that makes me want to go over there and beat him until he's a bloody lump on the floor.

My savage feelings startle me, and I rip the car door open and slide behind the wheel, my hands shaking.

I look back, but he's gone.

"Fuck!"

I have to focus on Addy. I push the strange man out of my mind.

I pull up just as he's getting out of his car. He ignores me and walks up the short five stairs to the porch of his house. I follow on his heels, and the minute he closes the door behind me, I"m on him. I grip him by the throat and push him back into his own door.

I bare my teeth, and I let out all that rage and fear I'd pushed down.

He's taller than me by two inches, and even though my fingers are wrapped around his throat, he's not cowed. If anything, I've woken his formidable temper.

"You can't leave," I hiss the words.

"I can, and I am," he snaps.

I growl. He growls back, his blue eyes darken, and a lock of his hair falls into his eyes. He's so fucking gorgeous. Why do I have to want him so much?

I lean towards him so our chests are just touching, our lips so close yet so far. "Please, Addy, I need you to stay."

His eyes close, and I lean my weight against him, doing more than I ever have in the years of our friendship. Our breath mingles, and my eyes flick down to his lips. What I want is right there. I turn my face so our cheeks press together. It's a copout. I can feel his disappointment. It mirrors mine.

"You need me to stay so you know where I am," he growls. "I don"t want this anymore."

I snarl. "If I could have a pack, I would, but I can't-"

"Save it, I"ve heard it before. Your pack abandoned you, and now you think you're a broken alpha," Addy says bitterly. "I don"t care. I still want you. We're supposed to be together, Sven. Did it ever occur to you that the reason it didn't work was because you weren't meant to be together?"

"I can't be your pack. I love Kandi. I"m not a pack alpha." My voice tastes like ash and the death of all my happiness. Which isn't fair because I am so in love with Kandi, she's just not enough, and I"m not foolish enough to even entertain the idea that I"m enough for her. We're two free spirits who are walking the same path at the same time. One day, she will find something better and leave me.

I understand that. It's logical. It makes sense.

Addy is an aberration. He is the sudden riptide tearing away any sense, control and logic that I might have had.

The more I talk, the more he stiffens, until he finally steps aside and moves deeper into his house. "Let yourself out, Sven."

I stand there, torn between leaving and not, then I follow after him. Stalking through the house I know as well as my own.

"Addy, you"re my best friend. We've known each other for years." And it's only been in the last two years that either of us felt the pull of that sexual component. Before, we were platonic, easily. Our friendship extended to us spending hours together, him crashing in my apartment, me crashing here. And then, one day, I woke up, and I saw him differently. And he was looking at me differently, and I don't know when it changed, only that it did.

But I can't lose him.

He snorts from the dark lounge room. "I don"t want to be your friend, Sven."

I stand there helplessly. "You can't leave."

"Oh, but I am, and I will. I can't stay and watch you with her. Refusing to acknowledge that we're anything."

"We're friends," I stress. "I"m with Kandi, and I love her. She is my partner."

Addy walks into the light, his eyes almost glowing. "Friends don"t fall in love with each other." He snorts. "You can love us both, Sven. You could. Kandi and I get along. We could work it out because we both love you."

Shit.

"I can't keep doing this with you, Addy."

The hopeful expression on his face shutters, and he turns away, filling up a glass with clear liquid. Probably vodka.

"Which is why I"m leaving," he says as if he's announcing his clothing choice.

"FUCKING DAMNIT!" I howl.

He doesn't flinch, but Adrian Schultz is a hard alpha. On the surface, he's cold and cruel, a lone alpha with no friends and no desire for anything but to hone his craft. To me, Addy is warm like the sun. He's life, he's a man who understands me on such a level that being around him is effortless. He is my best friend, and he's also the alpha I fell in love with.

But I can't have a pack. I"ve done that before, and the aftermath left me crippled. The only thing that helped was working until I couldn't move anymore. Training until I was too tired to think. Following orders that I couldn't trust myself to make.

I don't want to go back there, I can't. I barely made it back alive.

I approach him slowly, wrapping my arms around his middle, and laying my head on his shoulder.

"I can't let you leave," I whisper.

"You can't stop me," he says back easily, and I hear the emotion he's trying to hide. And I'm sorry. His arms lift to hold me, and damn, but I love the way we fit together.

For a long moment, I just listen to his heartbeat and feel the warmth of him.

"I can. And I"m sorry." I hate that I"m doing this, I hate that he's forced me.

"You can what?"

"I can stop you. I have to. I"m sorry, oh, Addy, I"m so fucking sorry, but I refuse to lose you."

Addy stiffens. "For what? How could you possibly stop me now?"

"She's our omega, Addy, and if you leave her, she'll be alone."

I draw back. The shock that crosses his face is something I expect to see. What I don't expect is the satisfaction and the hunger.

"We're her alphas?" he asks in a choked whisper.

I hate doing this to him. "You can't leave her. I have Kandi. I"m not going to choose her, Addy. She'll be alone."

He steps back from me, his shock changing, morphing until he's left bitterly furious. I don't blame him. I am a prick.

"You'd run from your omega, too, Sven?" He breaks off, unable to vocalise whatever he's thinking.

It can't be worse than what I"m feeling. My hands are sweating, my mouth is dry.

"So, this is goodbye," I say to him. "If you're leaving. You ruin all three of our lives." Oh, yeah, I"m going to hell.

I know I am.

I have never, ever felt this desperate about anything.

He whips around, his brows rising. "So I should stay here and take that poor omega, unable to look after her or protect her or give her what she craves, and I should stay so you can sit in your cave of desolation and watch me?"

I approach him, taking his vodka glass and putting it on the bar. "Yes. Yes, to all of that."

"Coward."

My temper rises, but he's right. I am a coward. I step into his path, and he bumps me with his chest.

He dips his head down, freezing when I turn away. My heart's pounding, I"m torn, I want him. I want to cross that line and claim his mouth so badly, but if I cross that line, I"ll be too far to come back, and I can't go there.

Our breaths mingle, there's a hesitation, and then he turns his head away from me, too. The moment, like so many others between us, is lost.

I mourn it; I mourn them all.

He steps to the side of me, going to the couch and dropping into it. I go to his bar and pour myself a bourbon. The space is nice, dark, manly. We designed it together. The varnished dark wood floors are the perfect offset for the oversized cream couches. It's a room to sit and lounge in, to watch TV, or sit and chat by the fire. The bar runs along one side of the room and stops halfway, with a sliding door that opens to the backyard.

He's left the curtains shut, giving us privacy, an intimacy that I yearn for. I cross to the couch and flop down right beside him. Our thighs touch, and I lean into his arm, pressing my upper body against his.

"You have to help her."

Addy, my Addy, snorts. "I don"t have to do anything of the sort. I think she'd be better off without me," he says the last part quietly.

"Addy, that's bullshit, it"s not true at all."

"Isn't it? I"m aware of my reputation. The lone alpha. Cold, hard, a bastard to everyone."

I lay my hand over his wrist, stopping his jiggling. "You're more than that. And who cares what anyone thinks but her?"

"I care what you think," Addy whispers and leans forward, putting his head in his hands. "And look where that's got me."

I put my glass on the ground and grab his wrists, turning him towards me. "Addy," I say his name with all the things I can't say and can't give him. "What's she like?"

His eyes flash with grief. "She's different. She's hyper and excitable. The world is a joy to her. She's a pocket-sized ball of fun and sexy," Adrian says with a chuckle.

I can't help the flare of envy that I feel.

"How bad is it?" Adrian asks. He turns, and those blue eyes hit me like a laser. I"m frozen, swallowing words I've dreamed of saying.

I turn away from him, focusing on the topic at hand. "Her parents are super controlling, and they've picked her alpha out. I believe they gave her to him, and she ran. I think he found her."

"She's in danger, then?" Addy says, and I almost smile at how crushed he looks.

"Trevor Lockier is not a good alpha, his pack is missing in action. I don't know if they exist, it's hard to find information on this guy. I believe, with no proof, but I think Trevor did this to her."

Like I expected, Addy tenses, turning towards me with a dangerous look in his eyes. I remember once asking him what was so dangerous about a doctor. He smiled and asked if I trusted my doctor. I"d said yes. He just smiled wider. I have never, ever forgotten that look.

Never underestimate a doctor, especially one who has something to lose.

I lean forward suddenly, cupping his face and turning him towards me. I press a kiss to his cheek and stand up.

"Protect our omega, Addy. She's going to need you."

He scowls at me. "I sold my house."

"I know. I bought it. My agent called me this morning and let me know that the only property I want was now legally mine. Yay, I'm a homeowner. Stay here. Make her a home here. That"s all I can give you."

Addy growls and grabs me by the shirt front, dragging me to him. His lip curls, and those midnight eyes spark. "You will be mine, one day, and when that day comes, Sven Mortensen, you're going to find no escape."

He lets me go, and I stand up. I"m jittery and hungry, and my cock is so hard I feel like I could burst. I don't want to leave, but if I stay, I"m going to break too many promises I"ve made to myself.

"Goodbye, Addy."

"Fuck you, Sven. I"ll see you soon." Adrian scowls at me as he watches me walk backwards out of the room.

I don't argue with him, but I think he's wrong.