32. Jade

thirty-two

Iglare at Sven as he gets dressed, while I pull my own clothes on. Beside me, Kandi and Adrian are doing the same. Both of them look seriously annoyed. I'm annoyed. When is this going to end?

"So that's it? You won't bond me, and you're leaving? Again?"

"I'm just going to the shops, Jade. I need to talk to Maxim."

His psychologist? What?

"You're leaving in the middle of a conversation you're losing. You want to bite me. I'm the only one you haven't got a bond with. So how about you just give in and take me? I'm begging, Sven."

He glares in my direction. "No. I can't." He sounds so grave, and it makes me more afraid than I've ever been.

"WHY?" I shriek.

His lips thin, and he puts his wallet in his pockets. "Because there are reasons."

"Your reasons are only valid if they don't hurt the people you love and are understood."

"Jade, leave it."

"Not a chance in hell, Alpha. You're my alpha. You belong to me. I'm not letting you escape me after all this."

I throw myself in front of the doorway and fold my arms over my chest.

"Jade, I need to go."

"Yeah, and when exactly are you coming back?" I snarl at him.

"I don't know!" Sven shouts.

"Exactly! You're not coming back. Adrian and Kandi might be content to let you be a douche canoe, but I fucking well am not. You are mine. MINE!" I roar at him.

"You sound like a child!" Sven barks at me.

Oh! This sonofabitch! I draw myself up to my full height.

"That's not what you were saying last night when you buried your knot in me," I snap. "So, this is what it is? I'm good enough to fuck, good enough to knot, but not good enough to keep? You think there's something wrong with me, too? Was my mother right about this?"

"NO!" Sven roars back and swipes his hand over his head. "Fuck sake. No, of course, I don't think like that."

"Then why won't you stay? Why won't you bond me?"

"Because I'm broken!" Sven roars. "I had an episode years ago, and I lost the plot. I hurt people. They gave me the option of prison or service. I served as best I could."

I stare at him. The silence, the shock, it isn't just coming from me. "That's not who you are now, and that still doesn't explain why you won't take me."

"Because my pack all died, Jade. I had a pack. And they're all dead, and that feeling of them dying? That's not something I want to do ever again. I went insane. I can't risk that happening again. Now, get out of my way. I'm not going to lose anyone else I love, and I'm not going to hurt anyone else. I made promises."

His pack died? I step to the side, stunned, and turn to watch him leave. He doesn't look back.

"Fuck this shit," I whisper.

I grab Adrian's phone and hold it to my ear. Watching as Kandi sits down heavily in the kitchen chair while Adrian slides to the floor, staring at the doorway in agony.

"Missy? My name is Jade. I know we don't like each other very much, but I love Kandi, Sven, and Adrian." I'd do anything to make them happy. Even beg the omega who wants me gone. "I need your help, no, that's not true. Sven needs your help."

Missy and her alpha Seb sit at my kitchen table. The huge blonde giant has kept a paw on Missy's hand for most of my stilted explanation. Missy in turn, has gone from glaring and being almost incandescent with fury to thoughtful. I have to admit, the pair of them make a nice couple and Seb's calm energy has made this a much more pleasant experience.

Kandi sits next to her while Adrian has pulled me possessively onto his lap. Just us five sitting around a table discussing things we should leave well enough alone.

Seb spreads the papers across the table.

"Did you find it?" I ask anxiously.

Seb looks up, his eyes dark and concerned. "I did. If you were anyone else but his pack, I'd pretend I never found this."

I exhale roughly. "Tell us." I hesitate. "Please."

"Sven Mortenson was born Ivan Sven Mortenson. He grew up with a bunch of alphas, and they formed a pack when they were fourteen, which is ridiculously young, they should have been warned about that. They were all neighbours and grew up together."

I blink rapidly.

"At eighteen, a car accident killed all the members of Sven's pack. All four alphas and a beta. Sven wasn't in the car. At the loss of the bonds, he went crazy. He was diagnosed as having a traumatic breakdown, from the shock but also from the bonds suddenly being cut." Seb pauses and closes his eyes. "I can't even imagine how painful that would have been." The big alpha opens his eyes, stares at his tablet, and then goes on in a raspier voice. "He almost killed the man responsible for the crash, well, child, the guy was seventeen, Sven was an adult. Only the intervention of the families of the deceased pack could talk him down. It was big news back then."

I close my eyes. This is worse than I could have feared.

"Because of the damage he did, because of the injuries he inflicted, he was classed a danger to the community. It would appear an old alpha saw him and took pity on him, subverting his prison sentence and pulling him into service." Seb slides several photos in our direction. Kandi and Adrian pick them up, but I don't bother.

"What are you going to do?" Missy asks softly.

I clear my throat. "I'm going to bond my alpha and give him the happy ending he deserves."

Missy's smile is slow but wide. She glances at Kandi, who snickers.

"Sounds like some other omega I know, doesn't she?" Kandi says dryly

Missy barks a laugh. "All right, I like her."

I blink at her. "Thanks?"

She laughs softly, but her expression turns somber. "Ah, poor Sven. No wonder he's always been a loner."

"He hasn't. Sven has always been with Adrian and Kandi. And he will have me," I say defensively. "He's just selective. He likes your pack. Sven formed a friendship with all of you. He considers you family."

Missy opens her mouth to argue, and then stops. "You're right. He's been finding his pack this whole time."

"And now he's found it. His fear is making him run," I finish. "We need to convince him he's safe."

"How?" Seb asks. "This is some deep-rooted trauma. Even Darion took years to get through his, and you know he's only just accepting counseling."

I swipe a finger across my lip and glance back at the photo of a very young, traumatized Sven. No, that would be wrong. Would it? Would it really?

I chew on my lip and consider the options. But I don't want to take his choice from him. I want him to choose me. I sigh heavily.

"What happened to the guy Sven almost killed?"

"Uh, he was a teenager, a seventeen-year-old, just got his license. Sven beat him severely, and after that, he just disappeared."

I sit forward. "He disappeared? That's odd, isn't it?"

"Yes. The records are sealed, but his name was George O"Reilly."

Missy slides his picture towards me. I don't know the kid in the photos. He's got happy brown eyes, messy blond-streaked hair, chubby cheeks, and braces. There is something familiar about him, around the eyes.

"He's responsible for killing five people?"

"Yes. He was. Because he wasn't an adult, he wasn't charged. He was drunk. A seventeen-year-old drunk kid who played a prank, and it went horribly wrong."

"He's seventeen?" Adrian asks. "He doesn't look seventeen."

"I know, but I checked. He was showing signs of being a beta. The reports said he was a pack chaser. Wanted and deluded into believing he's an alpha." Seb hisses out in frustration. "He told people he was meant to be in this pack. He was convinced. People thought he was an oddball, harmless but weird."

I close my eyes. "Poor Sven."

Adrian is quiet but suddenly clears his throat and shifts underneath me. "He's coming back."

"Oh?" Missy says in confusion.

I clear my throat. "Sven bites his alpha and beta in sexual hazes and bonds them. And uh, doesn"t remember doing it."

Missy's eyebrows reach her hairline. "But not his omega?"

"No," I grumble. "He's extra careful with me because biting an omega makes the pack official," I snarl.

Missy laughs. "Good excuse. The sex haze made me do it."

Kandi, Missy, and I laugh, and the last remains of tension between us disappear.

"You better leave," Adrian says and stands up. "He's coming in hot and pissed."

Seb and Missy wave and quickly get in his car and disappear. Not a moment too soon because Sven screams to a halt in our driveway and throws himself out of the car.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" He roars. Watching a man with those kinds of muscles, that unhinged, tear up the drive to the house howling at you in that tone, should not be sexy.

Adrian folds his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow. "Don"t speak to me like that, Sven."

I glance at Adrian and mentally promise him a blowjob because, hell, the only thing hotter than Sven right now is Adrian's cool.

He stabs a finger into Adrian's chest. "You went snooping."

"You keep poking me like that, and I'll put you over the kitchen table and fuck you until you remember who the fuck I am!" Adrian roars, losing his temper.

Oh, I think I just came a little. I fan myself and force myself to focus.

We all go silent. The tension in the air is thick enough to cut with a knife, but Sven's temper now has a sexual edge to it.

"You betrayed me," Sven growls viciously.

Ah, no, I have to redirect.

"No!" I say sharply. "I did."

He snaps his head towards me and glowers. "You busy body, pain in the ass omega."

I advance on him, ignoring all the awful things he's saying, and wrap my arms around him. His words still, broken off as he takes in the fact that I'm not fighting.

"I'm so sorry, Sven. I'm so sorry." Tears fill my eyes, and I snuggle deeper. "I'm sorry this happened to you. And I'm sorry you had to go through all that pain alone. I'm sorry." My voice trembles.

Sven does nothing but breathe. His scent gets stronger and wraps around me.

"It's okay, Sven. It will be okay," Adrian murmurs, and then I feel him join our hug. Cool rivers joining the licorice.

Kandi slams into us from the other side. "You don't need to keep running anymore. I love you, Sven. You're going to be fine."

"But…I'm dangerous." He sounds so confused. I almost giggle.

"Yeah, to everyone else. Not to us," I say through a throat full of tears. "Never to us, you big bone-head." I step back, forcing the others to step back, too.

"Sven, you're part of this pack, but you don't have to bond me." Oh, it hurts to say those words, but I will not cause this alpha more pain. I will not be the thorn that jabs at his open wounds.

I don't take my eyes off Sven, but I can feel Kandi and Adrian staring at me.

"What?" Adrian whispers. "You'd give up the bond?"

I nod. Because I love him that much. If he needs to not have it to feel safe, then I will live without it.

"You don't have to bond me. I won't ask you. It's not fair. What you went through, it's awful. I don't need your bond or commitment. You don't have to be here with us. We can let you go, if that's what you need," I say in a voice that wobbles.

Sven huffs a laugh, but I can tell it's uncertain.

"You read the report? The whole thing."

"We did, Sven, but we didn't need to, you idiot. No one is leaving you. We are a pack, and we're your pack if you want us, even if you don't. We'll be here for you whenever you need us."

Sven gently pulls himself away from us and stands there. It's the first time I"ve seen him look uncertain.

"I hurt people. There was a fight, where I was trying to hurt the driver, and I hurt other people. I'm-" He cuts off and runs his hand over his head. "I could have killed him. Mindless animal, that's what I was, out of control, mindless, a monster. I knew nothing but rage, but pain."

"You were grieving and so young. You paid for your crimes, Sven," Adrian says softly. "You aren't that out-of-control teen anymore."

Sven opens his mouth and closes it again.

"If anything ever happens, I will be here to protect you," Adrian says to me. "I'd protect you, too, Sven."

This hits Sven, hard. He blinks several times. "What?"

"I won't let you get out of control. I won't let you hurt anyone, and I won't let anything happen to us. We'd be okay. If you want to stay, Jade is right. It's not right to keep asking and trying to force you."

Sven swallows hard and looks at Kandi.

"You know I've got your back. I've always had your back."

At last, his gaze turns to me.

I stare at him. "Do I need to say it?"

He opens his mouth and closes it. My temper flares to life, and I step forward and poke him in the ribs.

"You're a free alpha, Sven. The bonds will be mere irritants, you can ignore them. You won't be obliged to stay. You can come and go as you please. No one will beg you or ask you. No one will demand you stay when you need to run. This is me setting you free. You will always be my alpha, but I don't need you to give me proof. Not anymore, and I am sorry for pushing."

Sven exhales roughly.

He steps towards me but stops when his phone rings. He picks it up, his gaze still locked on mine. I feel all the unspoken words, the pain of my decision, but the rightness of it all.

"Talk to me."

His eyes slide to me and darken, not in a good way.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Sven shakes his head and turns and walks back to his car. "I'll be there in twenty minutes. Are you sure?"

"Sven!" I shout, "what's going on?"

"We found Trevor." He pauses and whirls back, snatching me to his chest. "I'm not done with this conversation. It's not over. I'll come back, and when he's caught, we can talk."

"What are you saying?" I whisper.

"I'm saying I've been working hard to be a better person. Maxim thinks I'm ready, he thinks I've changed. I want to be the alpha you need. This conversation is on pause."

I almost trip. My heart accelerates through my chest, making me feel dizzy and sick. "Wait, don't go after him. Just stay. Stay here, with me."

Sven looks over his shoulder. "I have to. We can't leave him out there when he did that to you."

I reach out, gripping Kandi's hand. "Go with him."

She glances between us. "All right."

I watch as she runs around the car and slides into the passenger seat. I stare at them until they're gone.

I sigh heavily and lean into Adrian's arms. "He's as elusive as an eel."

Adrian snickers. "At least we know why."

"This is true." I twist in his arms. "Do you want to make them dinner for when they get home? A special surprise?"

Adrian bites his lip. "I thought you couldn"t cook."

"It"s a good time to learn, isn't it?"

Adrian doesn't look sold on the idea, but he shrugs and follows me into the house.

"You can supervise."

"Thank you, very generous."

I smirk at him and load up the tablet with the recipes I've decided to cook. "I want it to be perfect for when I seduce my pack."

Adrian leans on the counter, and when I look over, I realise his eyes are fixed on my ass.

"Perhaps the cooking lesson can wait a while," I murmur. His eyes lift to mine, and he crooks his finger.

I'm helpless to stop myself from crossing to him. When his lips meet mine, I forget about cooking. By the time I'm naked, gasping in his arms, all I know is him. But I don't forget Sven and the horrible, horrible offer I just gave him.