25. Ethan

CHAPTER 25

ETHAN

Now that Ethan had decided to tell his kids, he just had to work up the courage. It wasn't that he thought they'd be upset about his sexual orientation or choice of partner. He supposed the real hang-up was just not knowing how they'd react to him dating at all. It's not like he'd been a monk, but he had kept his partners away from his kids. When they were growing up, it was for stability reasons.

But Mickey was different. Ethan had known it for a while now. He had to stop himself from smiling every time he thought about him. The simple fact, though, was that he didn't want to stop smiling. Mickey made him exceedingly happy. Happier than he had any business feeling.

Shane had come in that morning with his brothers and although he hadn't said anything to Ethan, it was clear that he knew about him and Mickey. And that he approved.

"Come by for a drink sometime soon," Shane told him as he stood and slid into his jacket. "I'm sure Mickey would like to see you."

"I'll do that," Ethan promised. Shane's brothers didn't think much of the interaction, but Shane had and it made his insides warm to know that Mickey had someone in his life who paid attention. Someone who cared.

Ethan cleared their dishes away and carried them into the kitchen. The breakfast rush was over and their part-timer was out front manning the coffee pots. Ethan thought about telling Taylor, but he looked busy so Ethan occupied himself in the dish pit. He stacked the dishes into the plastic trays before sliding them into the dishwasher.

"You don't do dishes." Taylor came up beside him. He looked nice that morning with shimmering lip gloss and thick, dark eyelashes. A sheen of pink kissed his eyelids. Taylor usually wore t-shirts to work, but today he'd worn a long-sleeved shirt that was so pink it made Ethan's eyes hurt.

"You look nice."

"Thanks." Taylor beamed. "And you're still being weird. Don't think you can distract me with compliments. I mean it works, but don't do it."

"I wasn't trying to distract you." Ethan opened the dishwasher and slid the tray out. The dishes were piping hot and steaming, but clean as a whistle thanks to the industrial unit he'd bought years ago. "It's not as bad with the dishwasher."

"Mmhm." Taylor folded his arms over his chest. "So… Mickey still hangs out with you."

Ethan stilled. It wasn't a question. He cut his gaze to Taylor, who stood unwavering. Ethan's heart climbed into his throat like it could hide from Taylor there.

"A lot," Taylor continued.

Ethan furrowed his brow. "How do you know this?"

Taylor rolled his eyes. "I didn't, but you just confirmed it."

Ethan's mouth was cotton ball dry. He swallowed, willing his heart to slide back into his chest where it belonged. "There's something you should know. I—" Ethan wiped a hand down his face. He met Taylor's eyes. Why was this so hard? It was two words. I'm bisexual. Followed by a handful more. And I'm with Mickey.

Taylor had gone white as a ghost. "Dad? You're freaking me out. You're not sick, are you?"

"I'm not sick. I promise."

Taylor let out a breath and his shoulders relaxed, but the wary look didn't leave his face. "You have ten seconds to spill or I'm calling Colby and he'll bully you into telling us what's going on."

"Jesus, no need to get your enforcer involved." Ethan steadied himself with a calming breath. This was it. The moment he never thought would come because he never imagined finding anyone.

Another breath. Another look of concern from Taylor. "I'm dating Mickey."

Before Taylor could say anything, Ethan pressed on. "I've always been bisexual, your mom even knew, but there was no point in coming out because I was with her. But then I wasn't with anyone and there was still no point in coming out. I went out a few times and… you don't need those details. But there it is. I'm bi, and I'm with Mickey."

Taylor leaned against the wall, looking like Ethan had shaken the whole foundation of his life. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"It wasn't like I was bringing anyone home. I had three kids to raise and a business to run. A house to keep."

"You still could have dated."

"I—"

"You were alone forever. For years. You didn't have to be. We wouldn't have cared if you brought a guy home. Or a girl."

"I never met anyone worth bringing home." Ethan spoke the truth, putting it out there between them. He'd confronted it himself and had time to digest it, and now he had to make his kids understand. "Mickey is worth bringing home. I care about him."

Suddenly, Ethan had an armful of Taylor. He flew at his dad and pulled him into a hug, crushing his ribs a little. But Ethan smiled and wrapped his arms around his youngest son.

"We hated you being alone all the time." Taylor sniffled and pulled away. "Goddammit, Dad, you're going to make me ruin my makeup."

"I wasn't alone. I had my kids."

Taylor rolled his eyes. "Yeah, cuz that's exactly what I meant. We just wanted you to be happy. We never wanted you to be alone or to feel that you had to be a certain way for us."

"I loved your mom with every bit of me. I don't think I'll ever really get over her. But Mickey… he makes me happy." Ethan wiped his sweaty hands on the sides of his pants.

"That's all we wanted, Dad. That's all we ever wanted."

"So you're not mad that your old man is bi and dating a man half his age?"

"As if I have room to be a judgmental ass. I have two boyfriends. I'm happy for you. And Mickey. He needs someone like you, Dad."

"Someone old?"

Taylor burned him with a dirty look. "Someone nice. Someone kind. Someone who will put him first." Taylor's face lit up. "Have you told Colby or Jonah?"

"You're the first one. I probably should have sat everyone down and told you all together."

"Coming out is hard. I can help break the news if you want."

"Do you think they'll be upset that I didn't tell you all at the same time?" Ethan was genuinely worried about how the other boys would react to Taylor being the first to know. Or maybe his emotions were all over the place and he was looking for things to be worried about. It was hard to tell.

"They'll be fine with it. We're not kids, Dad. We all have our own shit going on and we get that sometimes stuff happens how it's meant to, whether or not that's how you planned it. So, do you want help telling them?"

"Sure. Yeah. That'd be great."

Taylor bounced on the balls of his feet and before Ethan knew what was happening, Taylor was on his phone, thumbs flying furiously across the screen. Ethan's phone buzzed with alerts, one after another. He groaned as he pulled his phone out and checked the group chat.

"You told them over a text message?"

Taylor rolled his eyes again and continued typing. "Don't look so appalled, Dad. We tell each other everything over text messages now. It's not the horrible thing it used to be back when texting was first invented. You know, like four hundred years ago." Taylor lifted his gaze to Ethan and smirked.

"Very funny. Ha-ha. Yes, I'm old." Ethan's phone went insane with a flurry of messages from Jonah and Colby. Messages with more exclamation points than words. Messages of love and support. A torrent of swear words and acronyms for what the fuck, and way to go, and a few he didn't understand. But they were happy for him. Genuinely and wholly elated for him.

Taylor stood beside him and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. "We've only ever wanted you to be happy. And Dad, I hate to tell you this, but you have three queer kids. We're not surprised that you're one of us." Taylor squeezed Ethan's shoulder. "Bring him around to meet the family officially. Okay?"

Unable to speak, Ethan nodded.

"Office," he managed to croak out and Taylor gave him a smile and a nod.

"Take your time. We got you covered."

Ethan slipped into his office and leaned against the door. His phone trembled in his hands, still vibrating until Ethan silenced the group chat. Not forever. Just for now. Until he could get his bearings. Until the world made sense again.

He'd never had to come out before and it had been both more and less than he'd expected. It was something that he'd built up in his head when he was younger and he supposed that he'd never really gotten over that niggling fear. But there had been no need to be afraid. No purpose at all to hold on to his apprehension the way he had. And it was done. The most important people in his life now knew his truth. And they were okay. More than okay.

Ethan's shaky legs carried him over to his chair where he sank down heavily. He leaned back and wiped a hand down his face. After a few deep breaths, he sent a text to Mickey, because apparently that's how everyone communicated about everything in the twenty-first century.

Mickey apparently read his text and immediately Ethan's phone rang. He smiled and answered the call.

"You told them?" Excitement colored Mickey's tone.

"I told Taylor, and he took care of the rest. He'd probably hire a plane and write it in the sky if I let him. But yeah, they know that I'm bi and that I'm in a relationship with you."

Mickey exhaled, going silent. Scarily silent.

"Mickey?"

"Holy shit," Mickey whispered. "I?—"

"Are you okay?"

Mickey let out a watery-sounding laugh. "I'm happy. It's weird to be this happy. That's all."

Ethan rubbed at his sternum where the little ball of joy glowed like an ember. He was pretty sure he understood exactly what Mickey meant. Being this happy felt like borrowing trouble. Like it couldn't be trusted to stick around because it hadn't before. Ethan needed this time to be different. So did Mickey.

"I get it, Mickey. It's like looking at calm water waiting to see the shark fin. But we'll be okay, I think."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Hey, your boss was here. He said I should come by and see you. I think he suspects something about us. Did you want to have dinner together tonight? I can come by on your break and we can put his suspicions to rest."

"You want to come out to my boss?"

"I want to have dinner with my boyfriend."

"I can take my dinner break at eight."

"I'll be there. I have to get back to work, but I'll see you later. I promise."

After the call ended, Ethan spent the next ten minutes staring at the wall, not moving. All his available brain power was wrapped up in processing the fact that he was out and he was going to have dinner with his boyfriend.

Ethan went back to work with a smile on his face, counting down the hours until he'd see Mickey again.