19. Rachel

RACHEL

" W hat do you mean this happened weeks ago?" I looked around the table at its occupants.

"Jacob wouldn't let us tell you when it first happened because it happened on the day you went into labor." I looked at Helen with nary a thought in my head. Had I become this selfish, or was I just desensitized?

How could all of this have been going on and I knew nothing about it? It's true I hadn't been on social media in a while, not since the kids were born, in fact. But how the heck had things come to this? And what kind of power or magic did my husband use to keep everyone in line?

"If you're wondering how he got everyone to keep their yaps shut, that' easy. He threatened to cut us off from seeing the kids until they were in college."

"All of them?"

"All of them, including Kevin and Sara."

Yeah, I can see how they would believe him. Jacob always follows through with his threats, and since the babies were born, he's been even worse than usual. But this was big. Wendy was paralyzed?

I guess I'm as much to blame; I won't lie. Since Doug never showed up for the last court hearing weeks ago, I pretty much put them both out of my mind. I've been so preoccupied with my husband and kids, and having three babies, even with all of the helping hands around here, has kept me pretty focused and homebound.

Jacob and I have been talking about him adopting the kids, which I was all for, but I wanted to make sure that Helen, who has always been there for me, would be on board with that. It seems like a no-brainer since their bio dad is a piece of work, but I can't just ignore the relationships with the rest of his family, who have always been kind to me and the kids.

Jacob is all about all of his kids feeling like they belong; that's why he refused to name one of our sons after him. Instead, the boys have K names, and the girl has an S name. Kaden and Kellan for the boys and Sienna for our daughter.

His thing now is last names. He, me, and the other kids all have his last name except for Kevin and Sara. That's the reason I'd called Helen and her husband over to have a conversation about the adoption and name change.

Since Doug had never shown up, I see no reason why I wouldn't get his rights revoked, but just because I can do something doesn't mean I should. In the end, we decided to wait until the kids were older, though I was sure to explain that no matter if we went through with the adoption or not, they would always be a part of our kids' lives.

Once that was out of the way, is when she hit me with the news. I guess Jacob had given her the go-ahead. I looked at him now because even though I knew how he was, I couldn't believe that he'd kept this hidden so well for so long.

He didn't even have the decency to look ashamed, and I wasn't sure if I was mad or impressed. "Why are you looking at me like that? What were you going to do if you knew?" For some reason, everyone else at the table seemed to find that funny.

They, the parents, his, mine, and Doug's, had come to terms with the fact that he was nuts. You know how normal people would sometimes question their choices and second guess their decisions, especially life altering ones? Not Jacob. If ‘I don't give a shit' was a person, it would be him.

"So, what are we doing? Are we grilling? Ordering in or going out to dinner?"

"Jacob!"

"What?"

"We're talking about someone being paralyzed."

"And? Oh, you want me to pretend to care. Gimme a sec. Nope, I've got nothing." I rolled my eyes and looked at the others, who you would think, because of their ages, would say something, but instead, it looked like they were holding back laughter.

"That's just wrong."

"Why is it wrong? She's an awful human being. Just because she got what she deserved, is everyone supposed to forget that shit? Actions have consequences. It would be good if everyone knew that."

"I know, but…"

"You feel bad for her?"

"No, but if not for her, we wouldn't be together." I'm trying for reason here.

"You've got a point; I'll send her some flowers. Now, dinner! Where we at?" I give up.

"Helen, have you been by to see her?"

"Why would I do that? My asshole daughter has been all over my ass about cheaters and cheating. Doug called and asked for help, and she swore up one side and down the other that if I let them move in, she was moving out the same day."

I could see Susy doing that. That girl hates cheating like it's her mission in life. I wasn't sure how to feel. I mean, how do you celebrate someone being in that position? I don't like her, but it's kind of sad. She didn't get anything she expected in life.

I'd like to think that Doug was better to her than he had been to me, but somehow, I doubt it. I wonder if she ever realized that she'd done me a huge favor, or maybe I should be asking how long it took her to figure it out.

Now, to be paralyzed from the neck down, confined to her bed most of the time, and using a breathing tube that can't be good at all. What a waste of a young life. But Jacob had a point. There wasn't much I would've done had I known.

My only interest in Doug or his life is what pertains to my kids, and since he no longer has a relationship with them, I guess that's dead. Jacob is convinced that Doug is going to come out of the woodwork at some point down the line and want to have a relationship with the kids just to be a pain in the ass because it's obvious that he doesn't really care and that's why he wanted to go ahead with the adoption.

I'm inclined to agree, but I think the kids should have the option when they're old enough to understand. Jacob had already said that he'd pay off the judge if they tried to make the kids spend any amount of time with Doug, but now that he's responsible for his wife, I doubt he has time for the kids.

I didn't even know they'd gotten married until Susy said something a few weeks ago about marrying the harlot doesn't make it legit. I didn't care then, and I don't now, but life sure is strange. Doug wouldn't change a diaper when the kids were young so how is he handling taking care of an adult in diapers?

I'd learned more about the situation as the evening went on while the men grilled and the women gossiped and she was totally reliant on him. Helen and her husband refused to help; Bree said she was too busy, and Susy laughed and hung up on him.

I'm sure he's blaming me for his family's treatment of them; he'd said it more than once in the past when the divorce first happened. But I don't think it's my place to tell them to go easy on him now that he's found himself in this situation.

Once the night was over and the others had gone back to their homes I hopped on the computer to find out what I could and was surprised that there was hardly anything to see. No one was talking about it. Doug's socials had been quiet for months now, and there was nothing from Wendy.

I had to wait for Jacob to come to bed to grill him about what he knew, but he didn't know much either. He knew that she'd fallen and hit her head and had spent a couple of weeks in the hospital and a rehab place and was now back home in the last few days.

I was still in shock and wasn't sure how to feel. I hate them both, of course, or at least I used to. I haven't given them much thought lately, truth be told. But she's so young. How is the rest of her life going to be? I know what she did to me was wrong, but I can't help but feel just a little bit bad for her.

Doug, I could care less about. Hopefully, she has someone to take care of her because Doug is not the right fit for something like that. I wanted to be cold about it and not care, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling a little sad for her. She's an idiot, but I can't ignore the fact that if those two hadn't done what they did, my life wouldn't be as amazing as it is now.

HOMEWRECKING SKANK

I watched him cross the room with the bowl of chili in his hands. I wanted to yell at him not to feed it to me, but the last time I turned my face away, he'd slapped me around the head, and since that was the only place I had any feeling, I had no choice but to eat the food I had poisoned and hope that the dose wasn't enough to do me harm.

When the doctor mentioned me coming home, I wanted to protest, but since I couldn't talk and couldn't do anything to make my feelings known, there was no hope for it. I thought that I would at least have a case worker or a carer, but Doug had put on an act and somehow got himself signed up as my personal caretaker because he found out that the state would pay him each month.

I've only been back a few days, but this was the third bowl of chili he'd fed me. I'm sure they gave him a list of things I could eat and this was not one of them. "Open up. I have a hot date tonight, and I won't be coming back in here to see to you until tomorrow, so if you shit yourself, you can just lay in it."

What's new? I have no control of my bowels, and the humiliation of having him change me is about more than I can take. He makes all these derogatory comments each time he has to do it and has taken to doing it only once a day.

I watched him as he moved the spoon to my mouth, shoveling food in fast enough to choke me. I didn't want to die; I still held out hope that there would be some miracle cure that would get me out of this mess. While I was in the hospital, this horse-faced bitch came around with her sanctimonious bullshit about paying for sins and repenting.

If I could speak, I would've given her a piece of my mind, but she took one look at the venom in my eyes and decided to visit me every day with her shit. If I ever get the use of my limbs back, that bitch is the first one I'm going after.

I ate the last of the chili and watched him take a swallow from one of the whisky bottles I had left. I tried to remember how long I was gone for and which bottle this could be. If he has been eating the food and drinking, he should be dead any day now.

The social worker was supposed to come by soon, hopefully she'd get here before anything happened, but it's getting close. I can't communicate with anything, but my eyes, and Doug has yet to look into them even once.

I screamed inside my head as he walked away and left the room. Tears streamed down my face, and I tried with everything in me to move, but nothing happened. I must've fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion because when I opened my eyes, it was dark outside.

When he said he had a date, I thought he was going out somewhere, but from the noises coming from the other room, it sounded more like he had brought one of those escorts to the house again. He's been spending the money the state pays along with my disability on these women. This is what he had gone to bat to get things taken care of in a hurry to do.

I fell asleep again, and the next time I woke, it was light out. He came into the room fussing about having to take care of me, changed my shitty diaper and threw it on the bed next to me, wiped something between my thighs, and pulled a new adult diaper up my thighs.

I can still smell asshole, and I smell ripe. I hadn't had a proper bath since coming home, and it shows. I don't know how many days have passed. I can only tell the passing of time by the sunlight and moonlight coming through the window.

I think I knew his last day from the moment he stepped into the room. He didn't look so good, and his eyes were wild. I wanted to move; I could feel myself moving, but it was all in my head. He looked over at the bed as if only just remembering that I was there.

"What the fuck you looking at bitch?" I watched as he dropped to the floor, dead. I looked at him for a minute, not quite believing it. This isn't happening; this can't be happening. My only hope now was the social worker.

I cried myself to sleep and awakened. I don't know how many times. At some point, I heard the doorbell; it could've been the same day or the next. I did my best to cry out, but no sound came. I tried throwing myself off the bed, but I couldn't move even an inch.

Day became night, and Doug started to stink. It was one of the hottest summers on record. I felt myself growing weaker and weaker as time went on. I watched the maggots eating him to pass the time. I could smell myself and knew I was next.

How long has it been? A week? Days? I had no strength left. I didn't feel the maggots as they crawled onto me, but I knew they were there. I saw them crawling their way over the floor.

I kept my mouth closed, but they found their way into my nose; can't breathe. My last thought was, I hope I didn't see this bastard in hell.