43. Little Comfort

43

" V iolet! What happened!?" Jolene ran out from behind her desk, almost knocking me over to embrace me.

"He's leaving—but I have to talk to him," I mumbled.

Jolene pulled back from me. "How long were you seeing him?"

"Since Christmas—or Thanksgiving—I'm not sure." I looked over her shoulder to the stairs. I'd still have time to catch him. But if Jones found out…I'd be done at Montgomery.

Jolene guided me over to the couches in the lobby area. "Violet, why didn't you tell me?" she scolded. "I'm your best friend. I could have warned you that he'd do something like this."

I looked up at her with glassy eyes. "I thought I was protecting you. I didn't want you to get in trouble for knowing. I didn't want you to have to lie about it." I shook my head. "It made sense at the time." But what I really meant was that Chance had made sense when he'd persuaded me to keep her in the dark about everything.

"It's my fault." She rubbed my back to calm me. "I should have known something was going on with you. You've been so distant, and I thought you needed your space. Now I know he was keeping you away from me."

"It wasn't like that…"

But maybe it was…

"Violet, if he really cared about you, he wouldn't have isolated you from your friends."

"He didn't—" I paused, trying to sort through the chaos in my mind. Had he isolated me? It didn't feel like that. He'd encouraged me to make friends with the other teachers. He'd changed how I'd thought about things.

"You're better off without him." She smiled encouragingly.

"I need to talk to him." I pulled out my phone to text him.

I had to know.

Either way.

I had to.

"Violet, I heard the headmistress. She'll fire you," Jolene hissed, grabbing the phone from me. "Why are you defending him? I heard some of what he said. It was awful."

"I love him," I choked out, quickly wiping away tears I hadn't meant to shed, and grabbing my phone back from her.

"No, Violet. You just thought you did. He tricked you. You heard him." She grabbed my shoulders, trying to talk sense into me.

But I wasn't ready to hear any of it yet. Not until I knew for certain. I tried to replay the moment he'd turned the corner. Had he really given me our signal?

"I have to go." I got up, shrugging out of Jolene's grip.

"Go where!?" Jolene was frantic. "Violet, I need you. You can't get fired!"

"I just need some air." I couldn't take a deep breath, not in the musty basement. It felt like the decrepit walls were closing in on me.

"I'll go with you," Jolene offered, following me as I made my way to the stairs.

"No." I shook my head, extending my arm, gesturing to her to stop. "I just need to be alone."

"Promise me you won't go back to your room before he leaves. She'll find out. Then you'll be gone too." Her voice began to quaver. She'd lost so much. Her world was falling apart, just as much as mine was.

"I won't." I sighed. As much as I needed to see him, I knew it would be a death sentence. But if I could just get him to call or text me, then I could figure things out.

But luck wasn't on my side that day. I think it had completely turned its back on me. Calling Chance's phone, it didn't even ring, as if it had been turned off. I tried texting, but it didn't show as delivered, which was unusual.

And then I realized that the phones he and I used were issued by the school. Another perk of the job. It seemed his had already been deactivated. I had no way of getting ahold of him after he left campus, but I couldn't approach him.

I wasn't sure how, but I ended up outside the kitchen. Pushing through the doors, I found it blissfully deserted. Hidden behind a countertop, I sunk to the ground and began to cry, too overwhelmed to do anything else.

How could I have been so foolish to have fallen for Chance? If what he'd said was real, if everything wasn't some terrible nightmare…I'd never get over Chance Harper…I'd never get over what he'd done to me.

I replayed all the things he'd told me over the last few months. All the quiet, sweet words of adoration and devotion. He'd told me he'd loved me only a few days earlier.

How could this have happened?

The bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day. Spring break had officially begun. Twenty minutes ago, I had been oblivious, teaching in my classroom. Twenty minutes was all it had taken for my life to be upended.

I didn't want to move, so I just stayed there, on the floor, for god knows how long. But just when I was considering going back downstairs to find Jolene, somebody else found me.

"Oh, kiddo…I heard what happened." Chef Lenny gingerly sat down next to me.

"News travels that fast?" I felt embarrassment coursing through me. It was silly of me to think everyone would know immediately. I'd be a laughingstock. Maybe I would have been better off if I'd been fired. At least I could have had a fresh start somewhere else.

"It's Montgomery." Lenny sighed.

"Is he gone?" I whispered, terrified of whatever answer I'd get.

"Yeah. Left about an hour ago."

I couldn't believe I'd been sitting alone in the dark for that long.

"He's probably halfway to Portland by now."

The thought of him being so physically far from me sent me into a fresh wave of tears.

Lenny wrapped me up in a tight hug. "It's going to be okay." He spoke softly, making me wish I'd had a grandparent growing up. If they were anything like him, I think I could have used one.

"You didn't hear what he said. It was awful," I sobbed.

Lenny pulled back. "You didn't believe any of it? Did you?" He was surprised.

"I don't know what to believe." I used the back of my hand to wipe my tears away.

"He fell on his sword for you, surely." Lenny was adamant. "I've seen how the two of you speak of one another when the other isn't looking. He can't fake that shit with someone like me."

"I'd never seen him look at me so coldly before…like I was nothing." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Jolene said he was isolating me from others."

"Don't listen to Jolene." He scoffed, "That girl's a busybody—has been since she was a student here."

"I didn't know she was an alumna…" I sniffed. "How'd she afford it?" I could have sworn she'd said she had gone to high school in Florida, that she'd grown up there. But Lenny had an excellent memory. Why wouldn't Jolene have told me if it was true?

"Scholarship, probably." He shrugged. "Have you talked to Chance? To clear things up?"

I shook my head. "They turned his phone off, and the headmistress forbade me from seeing him before he left. I've already lost him and made a complete fool of myself—I didn't want to get fired on top of it." I brought my palms to my face. I was exhausted. "I can't believe she let me stay…"

Lenny snorted.

"What?"

"She was one of the headmaster's many affairs. A woman scorned…well, you know the rest." He sighed. "She's been in your shoes. That's probably why you're still here. And because you have more allies at Montgomery than you realize."

I choked back a sob. Chance had said the same thing to me once.

"You really think I'm wrong—that he still…" I couldn't even speculate aloud. My heart wouldn't let me go down that path.

"Nobody can fake the way he looks at you." Lenny gave me a poignant stare.

I wanted to believe him, so badly. "I hope you're right."

"C'mon." He grasped the edge of the counter to help himself to his feet, then extended his hand to me. "I'll walk you back to the carriage house."