Chapter 10

Serena

Iawoke to find myself enveloped in strong green arms and with a little bird perched on me. I felt like I had fallen into a fairytale for a moment. Then I remembered what had happened just before falling asleep, and blushed.

”You are awake, Uk”lah.”

”Yes,” I murmured shyly.

Had I really just ridden myself to orgasm on an orc”s fingers? What was I thinking? I realized a bell was ringing in the distance. It was lunchtime.

”Oh, goodness.”

I placed Bloodletter on Zesh”s shoulder and jumped up, pulling my dress back down.

”We have to get you to lunch, Zesh. We”ve overrun on time.”

I tried to look professional and together. But as soon as I met his eyes again I felt myself flushing. His eyes narrowed.

”Do you regret your pleasure?”

”Oh, no. I just… Well, I wasn”t expecting it. I… I don”t know what I”m doing, to be honest. I don”t know what we are doing. Nothing is happening how I thought it would. I keep making these impulsive decisions.”

My hands waved about, and I trailed off, not knowing how to verbalize the chaos in my mind.

”You are hiding from your feelings, Uk”lah. Why? This doesn”t seem very therapy-like.”

Called out by my client. Ouch.

”Zesh…”

I slumped back into my chair. He watched me.

”Do you still think I am not strong enough for you?”

I gaped at him. Was he still hung up on that? I thought we”d moved on. A knock at the door made me jump.

”Yes, come in.”

Billy poked his head round the door.

”Is it time for him to go back now?”

”Oh, yes. Thank you.”

Billy and Daylen walked in and shackled Orzesh. His eyes were cold now. Nothing like the warmth I had seen when I had been in his arms. I was confusing him. Maybe even hurting him. I knew I had to sort myself out.

”We will talk tomorrow, Orzesh. I promise.”

I saw Billy glance at me. It was almost a glare. There was disgust in it. I hadn”t seen that before from him, and it made me shudder. Orzesh noticed too and raised an eyebrow at me with a snarl on his face. I shook my head slightly. No killing the guards. I would deal with this. He nodded and let them lead him out. As soon as he was gone I collapsed into my chair. There was too much going on that I didn”t understand. I was getting myself in a muddle, and I had no time to clear my head.

After sessions were done for the day I wandered down to Heather”s room and knocked. She kept to herself a lot, so I hoped she wouldn”t mind me stopping by. The door swung open and the shy redhead peered around the door.

”Hi, Heather, sorry to bother you. Can we chat?”

She nodded and waved me into her room. It was as gray as the rest. But she had dotted cozy cushions around, and her bed was a heap of blankets.

”What”s up, Serena?”

She perched on a chair and gestured for me to sit on the bed. Such a therapist move, giving me a cozy space to sit in. I kicked my shoes off and wrapped myself up in the nest of blankets, legs crossed.

”I need the advice of an orc expert. My client is confusing me.”

”I”d be glad to help, though admittedly I haven”t worked with an orc in a while. I seem to be tied up with a lich for now.”

”Well, he”s been telling me about his tribe”s culture and singing and things, which was a surprise.”

”Wait, he told you about that?”

Heather leaned forward.

”Yes, it surprised me too. I”ve never gotten an orc to say anything to me other than ”I love fighting” before.”

”They do love to fight. He must really trust you. It”s not that orcs don”t have a rich, complex culture. They have just learned not to trust outsiders. They”ve been persecuted a lot.”

”He said they”ve struggled with being attacked and keeping their place in the forest. It seems like he trusts me at times. He calls me ”Uk”lah” which I assume means therapist or something. It could be an insult for all I know. I didn”t want to ruin the progress we were making by asking. At one point he said I smelled like an axe and a dead lion, though. Which is rude, right? Or is that an orc thing?”

Heather choked on the coffee she was drinking.

”You okay there?”

Heather took a few moments to gulp in air and regain her composure.

”Oh, Serena.”

”What?”

”Oh. Oh dear. Well. Oh, dear.”

My chest tightened. She seemed stressed for a moment and then she burst out laughing. I watched baffled for a while before I got annoyed.

”Why are you laughing at me? I came here for help. Heather, stop!”

I crossed my arms and tried to push down the fire flaring in me.

”I”m sorry, Serena. It”s just funny. Has anything, you know, happened between you?”

Heat flushed my face, and I knew I was probably bright red.

”Look, I know I shouldn”t have, but he”s just… appealing. I sort of can”t stop thinking about him, even though he said I smelled bad. I don”t understand it.”

”You”re an idiot, Serena.”

My temper flared.

”How dare you!”

I was ready to give her a good tongue-lashing when she raised a hand to stop me. I gritted my teeth.

”Uk”lah means mate.”

My brain froze.

”And orcs” mates smell of something very important to them. I assume his axe means a lot to him, given he”s an orc.”

”Well… it was his first axe and his first kill.”

”And he has opened up to you. Trusts you. Oh, Serena. You thought you were going to get a suave, calm, classically handsome merman or alien or something, didn”t you? Someone who wore suits and smart shoes. I remember you saying that. Someone falsely accused or convicted of something nonviolent.”

”I”m… Well, I”ve always been open-minded about it.”

Heather chortled but said nothing more.

”Oh fuck. I”m mated to an orc. Oh fuck, Heather.”

I threw myself sideways on the bed and collapsed into the blankets.

”Well, it makes sense. As much as you pretend not to be, you are sort of… feisty.”

”I try to be a nice, professional woman. The way my parents wanted me to be. They always said I was difficult. And that when I found my mate it would be someone who calmed me down.”

”There”s nothing wrong with being who you are, Serena. I know you love your parents, but maybe who you are, passion and all, is okay. And maybe your mate is someone who will help you be more yourself and not someone who changes you. The only thing that is wrong is the expectation your family placed on you.”

Feelings bubbled up inside me. Too many to process. More than ever, I felt the claustrophobia of the box I had spent my entire life trying to cram myself into. My parents were good people. But they were so different from me. So placid and soothing. I’d been all energy and noise and impulsive reactions. Temper and enthusiasm. I”d pushed all that down for so long now. Tried to fit better in my own family.

”There”s something else, Heather. Something worse.”

”Oh? What?”

”He thinks I don”t believe he is strong enough. That he hasn”t proved himself to me yet.”

”Oh, dear. That is a problem.”

My stomach sank. Heather poured me a glass of wine, and I gulped it down. I had to sort this out with him tomorrow. To fix it before he did something ridiculous to prove himself to me. He didn”t need to prove anything. Not to me. As soon as Heather had said it, I knew that not only was it true, but I was happy about it. I wanted him. There was a connection between us. I took another large mouthful of wine.

”Heather, you are going to need to tell me all about this… mating fight thing.”