Chapter 32

Chapter

Thirty-Two

MIRANDA

M iranda collapsed on the log next to the falls, screamed her rage into the vicious hurtling water, and buried her face in her hands. Her cheeks were soaked. Her eyes were swollen and stinging, and her throat burned.

Everything was crumbling apart. Just like Earth.

What was she going to do?

She wanted to scream at Govek, hunt him down so she could shake some sense into him.

Hold him and coax him into agreeing with her.

She'd told him she didn't want to be his mate anymore.

What had she done?

Another sob broke. What was she going to do now ? She had to talk to Evythiken. Had to know what had happened to her on Earth. It would drive her insane if she didn't. She could never stop thinking about it.

But if she lost Govek... she wasn't sure she'd ever recover from that, either .

Was she really going to have to choose? She brought her knees up and rocked herself.

"Miranda, there you... Fades, are you all right?"

She gasped, sprang up, and tried to wipe her tears away.

Viravia was there. Right behind her. Cupping her stomach with one hand and holding a basket full of colorful leaves and grasses with another.

"Oh gosh, uh . . ." Miranda's voice came out stilted and choked. "I'm . . . w-what are you doing up here? How did you even . . .?"

Viravia cupped her stomach. "It wasn't easy, but I'm not an invalid."

Miranda's brow screwed up. Hadn't she been struggling to walk from her home to the hall ?

It didn't make sense.

"I was gathering flowers for you when I saw you running up here alone and... what happened? Where is Govek?"

"Gathering... flowers for me?" Miranda said, unwilling to talk about Govek yet. She could barely think his name without her eyes flooding with tears.

"Yes, you've been through a trial. Both of you."

She was right, damn it, Govek had gone through so much, and she'd treated his worries like trash.

And he'd tried to force her hand.

What was she going to do?

"Oh, Miranda, here. Sit. Tell me what is wrong?"

Viravia brushed her off a bit and settled them both on the log at the edge of the cliff. The waterfall was painfully beautiful on this sunny day. Its blue water plummeting into the mist. The green pool forty feet below clustered with ripples and waves. The gray rocks jutting up were jagged and dangerous.

Just like her emotions.

"Oof," Viravia said, eyes wide as she looked over the cliff. "This is awfully close to the edge."

Miranda's lips tugged into a little smile. "I like to live dangerously."

"You certainly do." Viravia rubbed her belly and finally pulled her eyes away from the drop that was less than two feet away. "The view is beautiful."

"How did you even get up here? You can't even get up your own stairs."

Viravia flushed and looked away for a second. "I... may have been embellishing my weakened state a bit."

"A bit ?" Miranda shook her head. "Why?"

"Well... lots of reasons." She looked back toward the tree line. "I... have a favorite spot up here. A grove of cherry trees just a short walk that way." She gestured to the right. "I come up almost every day to think and to get away from Maythra's incessant nit picking. I never got to thank you for getting her out of my hair."

Miranda chuckled humorlessly. "Don't mention it."

Viravia smiled gently. "What has happened? What is wrong?"

Miranda finally calmed enough to get the words out. "Govek and I... fought. I said some horrible things."

"I'm sure nothing unforgivable."

"I told him we shouldn't be mates."

"Oh . . ." Viravia's lips thinned, and she murmured. "That's . . . why? What was this fight about?"

She exhaled out as much tension as she could. "About my reason for being here. I'm supposed to have the seer help me remember the parts of my past I've forgotten, but the seer... he told us today that it's going to be dangerous, that he sensed death."

"Death." Viravia's face paled.

Miranda nodded. "But I need to do it, Viravia. I can feel it all through my body . It's the whole reason I was brought to Faeda to begin with and Govek does not get to just decide I shouldn't because he's scared ."

Viravia was quiet a moment, processing.

Miranda pushed up from the log and began to pace. "And if he was so against it, why the heck didn't he say something? I've been working toward this the entire time we've been here. It's nothing new, and he had plenty of time to stop me. Instead, he waits until now when we're almost done and just blows up at me! How is that fair? Why does he get to choose? He doesn't! This is my life."

"You seem very determined," Viravia said quietly. "Would you have listened if he'd brought it up?"

Miranda stopped her pacing.

"I won't pretend that I know him like you do. Fades, I think you've spent twice as much time with him as I have total in the last three seasons. But the Govek I know is... quiet. He would gladly keep his thoughts to himself rather than cause strife."

"But... I'm supposed to be his partner in this. His equal. And now it just feels like he wants to control me."

"I know what that's like," Viravia said, lowering her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Was . . . Tavggol controlling?"

But Viravia didn't answer. "I can understand why he's scared, though. Evythiken brought up your death . That's terrifying. I'm surprised you aren't more hesitant after hearing something like that."

"I just... I don't think the seer meant my death."

"Are you certain? Did you clarify with him?"

"Well... no," Miranda conceded and then she lowered herself to the log next to Viravia.

"You may have this invisible drive to do what the Fades have commanded of you," Viravia said. "But he doesn't. Instead, he's imprinted to you."

"Yeah, he told me all about that," Miranda said. "The drive to protect me and be near me and all that."

"It's much more than that. The imprint connects you to him, makes him feel as if he and you are one. Some of the shallower ones can be broken, but deep ones, ones that hook into the soul, they can't be. If you pass, he will mourn you to the end of his days. He will never recover from it." Viravia looked away. "It's a horrible fate. I've seen orcs who have lost mates who are shells of themselves. And Govek has lived his whole life in rejection. I'm sure he's terrified to lose you."

Miranda's gut twisted and her throat closed up, but she still managed. "So, what? I roll over and let him bundle me up in our house for the rest of our lives? I let him take all the control out of guilt over what he might become if I die?"

"No." Viravia's voice was firm. "I do not mean that. I'm only telling you this, so you feel more open to communicating with him and working together to alleviate his fears."

"How am I supposed to do that when he flies off the handle and runs away?" Miranda threw up her hands.

"You calm down and then come back together," Viravia stated, expression flat. "It sounds like he was very worked up. Do you think he could have been burying his true feelings for a while?"

"He had every opportunity to... to..." Miranda stopped and thought back to all the pained expressions, worried tones, and begging. To his words every time she recovered from one of her spells after touching the seer.

"Come back to me. Don't leave me."

He had been scared. Every time she'd fallen apart, he'd pulled her back to him. Helped her out of it. Dragged her back to sanity.

And he'd been scared the whole time .

"But... but he should have said something. I can't read his mind."

"You don't have to," Viravia said. "All you have to do is tell him he can come to you with any concerns. And when something like this happens again, because we both know it will, you let him vent and then go confront him. Rationally. Make him sit down. Give him something to gnaw on to stop his raging so you can get your side of things out. Tell him you won't listen to him until he uses a normal volume and reward him with your full attention when he does. Then you compromise. "

She looked Miranda right in the eyes. "And if he won't compromise with you, after trying everything , that's when you leave."

Miranda's mind reeled from all this advice. "Wow, Viravia. Thank you for all this. Really." She took the woman's hand. "I'm glad to call you a friend."

"Me too," she said with a smile, squeezing Miranda's hand back. Then her eyes fell. She stroked her stomach. " Being with a temperamental orc is difficult, requires more patience than I ever imagined."

"From how Govek talks, I imagined Tavggol didn't have an angry bone in his body," Miranda said with a small smile.

Viravia looked up, face pale, eyes stricken. "You know that... thing that I promised to tell you once all the insanity was over?"

"Yeah, I remember."

Viravia drew in a deep breath, held her stomach tight and met Miranda's eyes. "Tavggol is not the father."

"Wha—I. What? Then who?"

Viravia puffed out a breath, her eyes flat, her posture straight. "Karthoc."

Before Miranda even had time to process that single word, a sharp cry sounded from the path.

A wild cat loped toward them, teeth bared as it drooled. Eyes clouded, fur patchy and oozing. The stench was overwhelming.

They both leaped to their feet. Viravia gripped Miranda's arm. The cat continued to growl as it moved nearer. It stalked closer, muscles tight, as if ready to pounce.

Miranda's heart scrambled up into her throat. Her mind reeled. She froze in place. Govek had told her not to run.

"Oh!"

Something wet splattered Miranda's feet and ankles and she glanced down to find Viravia's water had broken.

"Oh no," Viravia squeaked. Miranda's mind grew frantic. Her breath caught. They couldn't run. Couldn't hide.

Govek was too far to save them .

The cat was too close now. So near that the rotting stench of the blight made her eyes water.

"When it jumps, we have to dodge." Miranda's voice trembled and adrenaline thumped in her ears.

"I-I don't think I?—"

It was too late. The beast screamed and sprang toward them. Miranda shoved Viravia with all her might and jumped the opposite way.

She landed on top of the log.

Wind whistled right above her. Something grazed her arm, grabbed her skirt, and dragged her down toward the edge of the cliff.

She clung tightly to the log, then the dirt. Her knees went over the edge.

The tension on her skirt snapped away.

There was a yelp, and moments later, a splash.

Miranda gasped, scrambled, clawed her way back up over the log to solid ground. She whirled around.

The cat was gone. It had fallen off the cliff.

Viravia was gone too.

And then her scream sounded, and it was the most beautiful sound Miranda had ever heard until she found her.

She'd fallen and now clung off the edge.

"Oh god!" Miranda scrambled over the log. Viravia hung by a root, face contorted with the effort.

Miranda snatched up the woman's wrist, pulling. She dug her heels into the ground. She had to save her. She had to pull her up.

She wasn't strong enough. "Oh god! I can't!"

"I'm slipping!"

"Govek!" Miranda screamed his name into the woods, hurtled it into the wind, but the falls ate it up .

He said he would hear her anywhere. Please!

Miranda clenched her fingers around Viravia's wrist, dug her feet into the crumbling soil, but the cliffside gave way.

They both fell.